A/N: (Sorry for the re-upload, this isn't a new chapter) I'm sorry that I haven't been updating! I was busy reading Divergent (a dystopic future novel that is a lot like The Hunger Games) and whenever I tried tow rite it would fall through (my keyboard wasn't working for a bit). But I'm back now! I'm not going to promise a date for the next update, but I hope that it will be soon. :)
I hear my mom's voice, pulling me from sleep. "Prim! Prim, you need to get up," she says in her soft voice. Groggily, I open my eyes, and then, before I know why, my stomach contracts in anxiety. Then it hits me.
"When do the Games start?" My voice is much lower than usual, and filled with dread.
"In about an hour," my mom's voice sounds the same as mine did. Resigned, almost. "I got you up now so that you can milk Lady and get ready to watch the Games."
"I'll never be ready." My voice is devoid of any hope, filled with pain and suffering and horror. How can we live in a world where such things as this happen? I'm twelve, still very young in the scheme of things, and yet my father has been blown up, I have spent the last five years of my life on the edge of death from starvation, my sister has risked her life on a daily basis by hunting, and now the Capital has taken her away and are going to force her to kill other innocent kids. Even if she does come home, she won't be the same person. I have seen Haymitch, how he is always blotting out the world with drink. I've seen the broken, scarred victors on television. I've seen the crazed look in their eyes. And I know, if Katniss comes home, she won't ever be the same.
I can barely comprehend how awful this is. Who will be next? Will the Capital kill me next, and leave my mother all alone in the world? Or worse, could it be that they will take my mother from me. I force the thoughts out of my head and sit up as my mom walks off to make breakfast, leaving me in privacy to change. I hurry to get ready, to prepare myself for what I will see. I'll be watching the bloodbath of the most important Hunger Games in history in less than an hour. The thought makes me feel sick, but I force myself to keep it together and to go out and milk Lady before sitting down in front of the battered old television. My mom and I could watch in the square, but we want privacy, so instead we watch on the television in our home. It has terrible quality, but at least we aren't peering through throngs of people to get a glimpse of the screen.
The Capital is raving about how excited everyone is, and Cladius Templsmith gives a long speech about how exciting this year's Games are going to be. I shudder, terrified of what I am about to see. What if Katniss doesn't make it through the bloodbath? What then? But no, I can't give up on my sister. I have to stay strong for her. So I sit up straight and try to tune out the announcer. I try to put on a mask, and pretend that I am immune to the fear that I feel on the inside. I know that I can't keep up the act for long, that the second Katniss rises into the arena I will lose it, but I can't help myself. Never, never have I felt this terrible fear, never I have I felt this utter need to be somewhere else. If I could trade places with Katniss I would. In a heartbeat. I would sacrifice myself for her without a second thought, but I was never given the chance to. And now I never will be.
Suddenly, the screen is filled with a blinding gold, and then the camera slowly zooms out, revealing the cornucopia, but nothing else. Then all of a sudden, the view has changed to an areal view of the arena. I give a small gasp that combines a shriek and a sigh of relief. This is where my sister may be killed. But it's perfect for her. The arena, it's like it was designed for Katniss. Trees are everywhere, the same kinds as the trees that surround District Twelve. The cornucopia is in a clearing. On one side of it, there is a giant lake, surely filled with monsters of some kind. Behind the cornucopia is a field of grain, maybe wheat. It doesn't really matter, because I know that Katniss will run for the woods. Something catches my eyes, a small glint of silver, and I look towards the cornucopia. A silver bow is right in the mouth of the golden horn. I choke for a second, knowing that Katniss will run for it. No! She can't participate in the bloodbath! She'll be killed! My mother is beside me, oblivious to the imminent danger. I'm about to tell her, when something stops me. Maybe she won't see it. Maybe Katniss won't notice, and she'll just run for the woods. I keep my mouth shut.
The tributes slowly rise into the arena once we have been given a long time to memorize the arena. I desperately look around for Katniss and I see her, with the woods to her back and left. She is squinting in the bright sunlight, but her eyes rest on the cornucopia. I'm willing her to look away, to look around her, and she does, taking in her surroundings with a quick sweep of her head before looking back to the cornucopia. Her gaze settles on the bow, and I realize that my mother sees where she is looking, too. She lets out a small shriek.
"She can't grab the bow! She'll be killed!" My mother starts sobbing hysterically, and I want so badly to put my arms around her and comfort her, but I can't tear my gaze away from the wretched arena, and from Katniss. Instead, I don't look her way, knowing that there is absolutely nothing that I can do. I am powerless.
In a small corner of the screen, the seconds count down. They seem impossibly slow. Katniss's gaze is still on the bow, but I can see in her eyes that she hasn't made up her mind on her strategy. I'm shaking my head desperately, trying to make her not go for it, but I know that she can't see me, and that I'm being stupid. But then, to my surprise, I see my actions being mirrored on the screen by Peeta. Katniss sees him, too, and her brows furrow in indecision. Before she can decide what to do, the seconds on the screen run out, and the gong deafens me.
And then all is chaos, killing, and I can't find Katniss in the blur of motion. The camera does a quick cut around to all of the tributes, and I see her, for about half a second, frozen in place. Then we are back to an ariel view and I can make out my sister, running for an orange pack. She has a sheet of plastic and some bread in her arms. A boy is also running for the pack, and they reach it at the same moment, colliding into each other. I yelp as they both go down and wrestle for it. Then a girl is running up behind the boy, throwing a knife into his back, and he dies instantly. Katniss's head whips around, trying to find the boy's murderer. I scream as the girl who killed the boy throws another knife at Katniss. It's going to hit it's mark, and I try to look away, but I'm paralyzed with fright. My muscles are tensed and I'm trying so hard to make Katniss dodge, but it's too late, and I'm powerless against the Capital and the Games. The knife is going to hit her. I scream as time slows down. Just as the knife is about to make contact, as my sister is about to be killed, I see a flurry of motion. Katniss swings the orange pack around and blocks the knife. I give a yelp of joy. She's alive - at least temporarily. The girl who threw the knife swears angrily, but doesn't bother risking another shot as Katniss scrambles to her feet and sprints off towards the trees, running impossibly fast. I'm hyperventilating as the girl with the knives takes a few steps towards Katniss, but then she changes her mind and allows my sister to escape. Katniss has survived the bloodbath. She has done it. The camera changes from the areal view again, and I can't see Katniss. But I know that she is safe, because she doesn't turn up on the screen again. If she was being attacked, we would see it happening.
Even when Katniss doesn't show up on the screen, I'm stilled glued to the television set, desperate for even a glimpse of her. About every half hour, there is a thirty second or so clip of Katniss hiking through the woods, sometimes running, sometimes pulling out her knife at a strange sound, but never stopping. I'm relieved that she is traveling away from the cornucopia, and that she has supplies, but I'm so scared, knowing that at any minute she can be attacked and killed. She didn't get the bow, which was good because it meant she wasn't in the bloodbath for long, but it does mean that she is in far more danger now. Every muscle in my body is tense, my stomach churns, my eyes are getting fuzzy from staring at the screen for too long when the bloodbath finally ends. There is a quick cut-around to each of the remaining tributes, but then the camera is back on the careers. I'm shocked to see that Peeta is still in the clearing, and he seems to be talking to the careers. Doesn't he know that he'll be killed?! I realize that he is talking with the girl who tried to kill Katniss, and I have a brief moment of uncontrollable anger, but I can't stay mad at him. I'm too scared to waste any energy on other people. But then I see the girl, Clove, leading him back to the other tributes.
"He can't be joining them!" I scream to no one in particular. "They want to kill Katniss! That idiot is going to help them! He made Katniss trust him and now he is betraying her!" The tears are streaming down my face. I need to tell Katniss what's happening, but I'm powerless. There is absolutely nothing that I can do. The helplessness is killing me. I feel like someone - specifically President Snow - has my heart in their hand and is slowly squeezing the life, the hope, out of the me. Katniss can't be killed.
I'm sobbing, unable to bear the terror and the helplessness. I want to do something, anything, to help my sister, but I can't. I'm useless. I'm a poor excuse for a sister.
My mother is still crying. She hasn't stopped since the Games started. I know that I should at least try to comfort her, but I'm going crazy, too. How have the other families lived through this? Anything, even Katniss's death, would be welcome if it would stop this heart-wrenching pain and terror. I'm begging Katniss to have not told Peeta her plans. Maybe she wouldn't have. Maybe they trained separately. I know that she wouldn't have just opened up to him about her strategy, but I don't know that she would have trained apart from him.
When I manage to look back to the television, I see that Peeta is telling the careers that he will help them find Katniss. No! I tear myself away from the screen and drag myself out of the house, around behind it, wrench open the gate, and collapse in Lady's little hideaway, sobbing. She can't be killed. Peeta can't have lied about his love for her and then betrayed her the very next day. I thought that Peeta was above lying, but apparently not. I hate him. I wish that he would just be killed right now in the Games so that Katniss can come home. I hope that when I go back in, they will be playing his death. He deserves it, doesn't he? He deserves to be at the wrong end of Cato's sword, or Clove's knife, or Glimmer's bow. But even as the thoughts run through my mind, I don't mean them. Not really. I couldn't wish a death upon someone like that, not even someone as awful as Peeta. Because I know, deep down, that all Peeta is trying to do is survive, too. I can't hold that against him. I'm not that cruel.
I hear my mother calling me in, her voice broken and terrified. "Primrose, come see what's happening."
I drag myself up, terrified to go inside and see what's going on, but also terrified to stay outside and not know. I force my feet to move me around the side of my house, drag myself through the door, and collapse on the couch, feeling devoid of any hope. I see Peeta leading the careers through the trees, appearing utterly confident as to what he is doing. It soon becomes clear that he is leading them straight towards Katniss, although how he knows which way she has gone is a mystery.
I suck in my breath sharply, feeling a stab of pain in my chest. When I speak, my voice is icy, quit, and filled with hate. "What?" I'm too angry for words, to angry to form a coherent thought. "No," I state. Then I turn away from the television, unable to watch any longer, and stalk into the only other room in the house, the bedroom. I throw myself onto my bed and just lie there, stewing over what is happening. I'm too angry for tears, I just lie on my bed, not moving, not even thinking.
After about an hour has passed, and I have calmed down enough to be comfortable leaving my room, I walk back into the other room and sit down next to my mother, who is still watching the Games. Her face is devoid of any emotion, and I know the struggle that is going on just past her vacant eyes. She is trying so hard to keep it together for me, and I'm glad. I don't know what I would do without her right now, but more importantly, I don't know if she will ever come back to this world if she travels into the dark world of grief that she lived in for so long. And then Katniss would come home and my mother would be dead, or at best a shell of who she used to be. And I would be insane, like one of the victors of the Hunger Games, Annie. I would have gone crazy knowing that my sister was in the arena, playing a Game of kill or be killed, living with the knowledge that I brought that upon her.
I shake my head to rid myself of the dark thoughts and focus in on the screen. I see that it is night in the arena, although in District Twelve it's only around six in the evening. The sky is dark, but I can just make out a shot of Katniss sitting high in a tree, oblivious to the fact that the careers are hunting her right now.
A/N: A couple of things...
You need to read a couple of fanfictions. :) First, Districts of Hunger. It's by Phoenix Refrain (Check that), and it tells the story of the first hunger games. It's truly amazing. Also, you should read boywithbreadlover's stories. Most of them are The Hunger Games through Peeta's point of view, and they're amazing. boywithbreadlover's writing is absolutely beautiful.
Next, a shout-out to Neil12 (a guest) for reviewing. I'm glad that you're enjoying the story. :)
And finally, please do review. I update so much more rapidly if I get lots of them, and reviews are the only way that I know people are reading/enjoying this. :) Thanks!