Pieces Together 4

It's three days before we finally go home. It took this long to break him of his cough, though it hasn't completely left yet. The sound is not as deep and racking; still something that I cringe at though. He is getting better, I have to thank the God's for that.

I finally have a moment to sit down and write Perdicus' family. God's what do I say to them? How do I even start?

There are no words to describe what it is like to lose someone you love. However I have been blessed with the ability to continue your son's memory with the birth of our son Cleon. I am deeply sorry that I did not come to grieve with you, and that I have not informed you of your grandchild….

Something seems so cold about my words. I continue to write, but the words have no emotion. I explain in the simplest of terms that Cleon is not like the others. I keep it short and simple, and despite my skills as a bard, my words are not flowery or prosaic. Xena's hand trails across the back of my shoulders, bringing an end to my brooding.

'Are you sure?' She asks simply.

'No, but it's the right thing to do.' Her hand comes to a rest on my neck. 'You know, when I started out with you, I saw the world so simply.'

'And now?' Her hand slides around my neck and down my chest.

'Things aren't as bright as they used to be.' Leaning down, she whispers right against my ear.

'You are my brightness.' I giggle at her.

'You can be so sweet.'

'Don't tell anyone.' She whispers again. As I stand, she wraps her arms around my waist, pulling me back against her body. 'How long has he been asleep?' Her voice has turned husky, her hands splayed on my abdomen.

'Not long.' I can't stop the small shiver her lips against my ear brings. In one deft move, Xena spins me around and lifts me to sit on the edge of the table. Giving me a lecherous smile, her body presses against mine as her lips descend upon my neck. Calloused hands slide up my thighs and under my thin dress, coming around to cup my butt as her hips grind into me.

I'm about to wrap my legs around her, but I find there is a barrier between her skin and mine. Lucky for me, Xena is dressed only in a shift. My hands work desperately to pull the thin material up to her waist, where my legs promptly wrap as her hips grind into my newly exposed dampness.

But all of this is not enough; little more than a tease of what I really want to feel. It's taking nearly every amount of self control to keep the moans from escaping my lips. I'm not about to have a crying baby interrupt this desperately needed moment.

Warm, wet lips travel down my neck and to the crevice of my breasts. Her cheek nuzzles against one before she captures a nipple, moaning against my skin. I throw my head back, gritting my teeth to keep from screaming. There's nothing I can do but hold on to the table as her hand slides down between us. Wasting no time, her fingers slide into me as her hips move against mine. The added force is oh so exhilarating, it burns through my body. Her fingers move hard, but not fast, making my body tingle with desire.

Xena continues to moan against my breast, no doubt getting a little more in response than usual. She doesn't seem to be hindered by the fact I'm lactating though. She's gentle about it, knowing my breasts are more sensitive than usual.

The silence is only broken by the occasional gasp and whimper. My fingers are clutching at the edge of the table, knuckles turning white. Burning starts in my lower belly, till there's a fire exploding through my body. Clamping my mouth shut tight, I manage to hold in the scream that wants to shatter the walls as my body jerks up and my lungs stop working.

It takes a minute for my muscles to relax, finally allowing my head to fall against Xena's shoulder where I gasp against her skin. As my senses return, so does the lust; my lips and teeth seeking out her olive skin. Her breathing is quick and hot in my ear, small moans of frustration manage to escape her lips. I give in quickly, wanting to feel her as much as she wants to feel me.

My fingers crawl down her stomach, grazing across her curls making her breath hitch. I explore with great care and slowness, wanting to feel, and memorize, and caress. Her hips are jerking as she whimpers, begging for release. So I give in, sliding three fingers into the warmth, and God's does it feel good.

We both turn to seek out each other's lips in desperate urgency. Tongues tangle as we battle for command, but she loses once my hand starts pumping against her hips. We swallow each other's moans, unable to separate even as her body begins to tense in anticipation. Suddenly, her head arcs back, a deep growl emanating from within her throat as the release she had sought finally comes.

Her fingers cling to my back, digging deep to ensure she doesn't fall as her legs begin to weaken. But I pull her to me, determined to hold her up until the temporary high leaves. Although for me, the high doesn't feel short lived, it feels like forever.

I bring my forehead to hears, as she leans down towards me. A small smile is playing at her lips as she continues to pant.

'Can I tell you something?' I whisper, amazed Cle has remained asleep so far.

'What?'

'It was never like this with Perdicus.' I wonder how she'll take this. No doubt with her experience, she's had lovers ten times better than me. But I need her to know, that for me, she has no one to compete with.

'Really?' She asks after a moment of silence. She pulls her head back slightly, her blue eyes piercing my green ones.

'Really.' She knows I'm not lying. Her hands clasp either side of my face as silence reigns for a few heart beats.

'You know I've had a few lovers.' Not regret, just stating a fact.

'I know.' I don't think any of them had the Xena I have.

'Does that bother you?' Her eyes narrow, she's watching my face closely.

'No.'

'They don't compare, not even close.' Her thumb runs across my bottom lip.

'Were you like this then?'

'Like what?' Her eyebrow raises.

'Gentle, caring, sweet. The person you are with me, right this moment.' There's a small sigh.

'No.' She shakes her head, thinking back. I can see the faraway look in her eyes. 'A couple got a little bit of me, but I've never given all.' Her hands drops and she turns, walking away with a sigh. I don't move, still sitting on the edge of the table.

'Are you giving me all of you?' I ask, though I know she's not. She's fighting to keep at least a piece hidden from me.

'No.' She sits on the end of the bed, looking at me with guilt.

'Do you want to?' Could there be someone else out there that Xena would give herself too willingly? Suddenly my thoughts are consumed with fear and paranoia. Maybe I'm not good enough, maybe there is someone else who's better. I feel hands on my hips, startled to find Xena standing in front of me again; her eyes flick back and forth across my face. Tears begin to sting at my eyes; I can't stop them from coming.

'Don't cry.' She whispers pleadingly. I swallow hard, but the tears still come.

'Am I enough?' My voice is so quiet, there's nearly no sound.

'Of course you are.' She sighs again, pulling me against her chest as her arms wrap around my back. 'No one else could have made me do all this. To stop looking for a fight and to be normal for once.'

'Xena I don't…'

'No, you aren't forcing me and I don't feel obligated. I'm willing to do this, without hesitation. Don't you understand?' It's a strangled whisper in my ear, her own emotions beginning to overpower her strong warrior exterior. 'You have changed my heart; you have given me back my soul. You are such a part of me now that, if something ever happened to you…' I can feel hot, wet tears on my shoulder but she makes no sound. Pushing her shoulders back, I take her face between my hands; her eyes hold such sadness in them. I bring my lips to her cheek, softly kissing away the salty tears.

'Oh Xena.' I smile, shaking my head. She sniffles a little, trying to regain her composure. 'I didn't think I could love someone this much. Well except for Cle.' I bring my lips to hers, just brushing softly against them. 'Don't ever leave me.' Just thinking of her not being here makes my heart break.

The serious moment is broken by a small set of lungs first coughing, then screaming out bloody murder. Xena gives me a grin and walks over to the cradle to pick Cle up. Jumping off the table, I re-adjust my dress and pull myself back together.

It's a sight to see; Xena cradling Cle in her arms, looking down at him with the biggest smile. His crying is easing, but not by much.

'I think he's hungry.' She grins, eyes flashing brightly at me. Handing over the crying bundle, I cradle him against my chest, offering a nipple for him to suckle. Xena leans down, kissing his forehead. 'Do you think he'll make a good warrior?' She asks, almost full of pride.

'If he has you to teach him.' We kiss, languid soft kisses that seep love and devotion. 'Now, you mind going to catch something for supper? I'm getting a little hungry.' She waggles her eyebrows at me with a smirk. She quickly jumps into her leathers and grabs her sword.

'Anything for you.' She kisses my lips once more before departing with gusto. 'Well Cle,' I look down at his tiny body. 'Looks like she plans on staying.'