*7*

Deep Space Nine,

March 5

"Lieutenant Michael Ayala?" asked the unfamiliar Andorran woman on the comm.

"Yes," Ayala answered, wondering who was calling him at this hour of the morning. He checked the chronometer; he wasn't due to start his duty shift for another two hours.

"I am Glera, a member of Ambassador Shuba Diaza's staff. I understand you are one of the leading candidates for the position of Security Chief on board the Pioneer-"

"Hold on just a minute," Ayala interrupted. "I'm a candidate for what?"

"For Security Chief on board the Pioneer," Glera repeated. At his blank look, she added, "The colony ship that is being sent to the Delta Quadrant?"

"I thought only Voyager was going to the Delta Quadrant," Ayala said. "What's this about a colony?"

Glera's antennae twitched. "Haven't you spoken to Lieutenant Commander Paris? He's the one who submitted your name."

"I received a message from Mr. Paris yesterday while I was out," Ayala said grimly, "but it didn't say anything specific about being a Security Chief. And most certainly nothing about a colony."

"Oh dear," Glera said. "Perhaps I should begin at the beginning, or better yet, have you speak to Lieutenant Commander Paris first."

"Oh, I will definitely be speaking to him, you can be sure of that," Ayala said.

"Please contact our office afterwards," Glera said. "I can be reached at these coordinates."

As soon as the connection was broken, Ayala placed a call to Utopia Planitia.

"Mike!" Tom Paris said delightedly. "Did you get my message?"

"Yes, I did," Ayala said, "along with one from an Andorran woman who informed me that she was the aide to some Ambassador I've never heard of and that I'm being considered for a posting I never applied for!"

"Ah. Sorry about that," Tom said. "But I explained the whole thing when I called yesterday."

Ayala rolled his eyes. "Tom, do you let Miral take your comm messages for you when you're out?"

"Uh, no-"

"Trust me, teenagers aren't much more reliable than toddlers in that respect. The boys told me you called, but that was it."

"Sorry," Tom said again. "At any rate, let me fill you in now. Voyager's mission has been changed. Instead of one ship, it'll be three, and instead of focusing our contact efforts on the Boirii, the Federation will be establishing an embassy with the Vidiians."

Ayala shivered. The Vidiians? "What-"

"Hear me out, please?" Tom said. "We're hoping to establish a permanent colony too. On New Earth-that's the planet that the Captain and Commander were stranded on all those years ago, remember?"

"So that's where the Vidiians come into it?" Ayala asked with a frown. "Isn't it a bit, uh, risky, setting up a colony on one of their planets? Tom, you remember what they were like. Their attitude towards other species is that of organ donor, willing or not."

"The situation's changed, Mike," Tom said once more. "The Phage has been cured, and the Vidiians are interested in mending relations with their neighbors. Besides, the Federation colony won't be the only settlers on the planet. I understand that Kes is leading a group of Ocampa, hoping to establish a new home for them there as well."

Knowing that Kes was involved calmed Ayala down considerably. "I still don't understand what you want from me, though."

"The number of colonists is going to be very small, about 500 families. They'll be transported on board a special ship, the Pioneer. There's been a lot of interest from refugees from the recent wars-people who would be interested in picking up and starting a new life out there."

"I see," Ayala said non-committedly.

"The Pioneer needs a Chief of Security. The understanding is that afterwards this officer would also be in charge of setting up planetary defenses." Tom paused. "Mike, you'd be perfect for the job."

"I'm not sure I want to relocate now," Ayala started to say.

Tom held up a hand. "Look, I'm transmitting you the information. Don't make any hasty decisions. Go through the details, talk to your boys. If you've got any questions, the Andorran Ambassador's office is available." He added, "Captain Janeway thinks highly of you, you know. Both she and Commander Tuvok suggested you for consideration for this slot."

"I appreciate it, Tom," Ayala said. "I think."

Tom laughed. "I'll speak to you soon. Take care, Mike."

Ayala stared at the data files, his eyes wide. Security Chief of one of the three transwarp vessels in existence...hell, Security Chief for an entire colony! This was an impressive step up the career ladder. The salary wasn't bad either. And the chance to start out fresh on a new planet, far away from the scars and reminders of war-

He froze at the sound of hushed voices outside his door.

"Shush, don't-" a voice said, "-Dad will hear you."

"I bet that was Tom...Mr. Paris," Raul said even louder.

"We don't know that," Luis said.

"Come in here," Ayala called out. "Both of you." The door opened, and the two boys entered. Raul looked excited, Luis looked a bit sheepish-probably because they'd been caught.

"Was that Tom who called?" Raul asked eagerly.

"No, it wasn't." He smiled at the look of disappointment on both their faces. "I spoke to him afterwards. The first call was from someone who wanted to offer me a position on a starship."

"On Voyager?" Raul said as he jumped in excitement.

Ayala shook his head at his younger son's boundless energy, even at this hour of the morning. "Not quite. The ship is called Pioneer."

"Is it going to the Delta Quadrant?"

"Yes-to a planet called New Earth." Ayala hesitated. "If we went there, it would require at least a year's commitment. If you don't like it after three weeks, tough. I can't just up and come back here. You'll be leaving your friends, everything you know..."

"Good," Luis muttered. "I hate this place."

"Can Kajee come?" Raul asked.

"If she wants to. I understand there are other people looking to colonize this planet." Ayala privately wondered, though, if she would be willing to embark on such a journey. And he realized he was not particularly looking forward to leaving her behind if she were not. "And I'd be in charge of security. That means I'd be real busy. And I'd probably be away a lot more than I am now, at least in the early months of setting up the colony." He let them think about that for a few seconds. "Now, I don't need to make a decision for a few weeks, so I want you to think about this. Think hard. We'll talk again. Let me read through what the Commander sent me and I'll give you both a copy. Remember, 'all for one...'"

"And one for two!" Raul shouted.

Ayala chuckled, while Luis corrected his younger brother. "Silly, it's 'and one for all.'"

Raul ran out of the room shouting, "I'm going to start packing!"

Michael studied his older boy for a few second. "Luis, I can say no. If you don't want to go..."

"Will J.J. and Patrick be going?"

"Joe's kids?" Ayala hesitated. "I don't know. I don't even know if their father is going on this mission. But we can try to find out."

Luis smiled shyly. "If the Careys would come too, that would be great."

There was a crash from somewhere in the house. Both of them ran out, only to find Raul buried under a pile of clothes in his closet. "The box on the top shelf fell on me," he said plaintively.

"I can see that," Ayala said with a sigh. "Even though it looks like some of these items have been sitting on the floor of your closet for some time."

"I'll clean it up right away!" Raul promised. "As part of my packing."

"I haven't said yes-and we wouldn't be leaving for some time," Ayala admonished him. He bent down to help extricate the boy. "And in the meantime, you'll want to have something to wear."

*8*

Bajor,

April 9

Ro Laren breezed into Kajee Narel's house and glanced around her as she said, "Hey, I thought this was supposed to be a party. No one would know it, the way you all look!"

Kajee, allegedly the host of the party, was sitting at the table and weeping quietly. Tal Celes and her husband Angelo were patting her on the shoulders, looking distressed. Michael Ayala was leaning on the wall close to the kitchen door, arms crossed in front of him and with a stony expression upon his face. Ayala's two boys and Kajee's daughter were not in sight, but a human male with a dissolute air about him was sitting across the table from Kajee. His face was screwed up into a pained pout as he tasted some sort of liquid in a glass that Ro suspected held Kafar, which she considered undrinkable.

Tal sighed. "I'm sorry, Ro. Our news upset Kajee."

"What news?"

"Angelo and I are going back to the Delta Quadrant."

"The new Voyager's mission? I heard about that," Ro replied, as nonchalantly as she could, although she felt as if she had just been jabbed with an elbow to the gut. It didn't take Ro more than a nanosecond to figure out what the "big secret" was that Raul couldn't talk to Ro about until after the party. "Congratulations, Tal. I'm sure you and Angelo will enjoy it a lot more this time around. Oh, and Ayala...could I have a quick word?"

Ayala nodded and reluctantly followed Ro outside, with such a sheepish expression on his face she barely waited for him to clear the door before she spat out, "I trust you were going to give me notice before you shipped out."

They walked up the slope behind Kajee's house slowly. Ro wasn't surprised. It seemed to have gotten a lot steeper since the last time she'd been here, less than two weeks ago.

"Ro, I'm sorry. I know I should have spoken to you when I first heard of it. At first I wasn't sure going back there was the right thing to do, but Raul wanted to go see where I'd been and even Luis wanted to go, although when he heard the Careys probably aren't going, he...Ro, I'm blabbering, aren't I?"

"You certainly are, Ayala," she said with a labored chuckle. She didn't feel much like laughing, although Ayala seemed not to notice-or maybe he was pretending not to, for her sake.

"I was only going to apply for leave, though, I wasn't resigning. The mission is only for eighteen months."

"Voyager was only supposed to be gone for a few weeks last time," Ro replied sardonically.

"This is different. The Pioneer is establishing a colony to support the embassy on New Earth, but with the new drive, they're expecting regular trips back and forth very soon. I told Kajee that, but she got hysterical anyway."

"Eighteen months is a long time to be apart from someone you love, especially when she hasn't gotten any sort of commitment from you," Ro noted, perching upon the large granite boulder that commanded a panoramic view of Kajee's house and the village beyond.

He hesitated before answering softly, "I didn't think she was ready for that yet."

Ro bit back a pained moan, saying only, "Of course she's ready, Michael. She's been ready from the first time she met you, that day you came home to Raul."

"She doesn't want to lose Raul," he said, an uncharacteristic quaver in his voice.

"She doesn't want to lose either of you, you big blockhead! Go to her. You don't have to ask her to marry you. Just ask if she wants to come along 'for an adventure.' Prophets! She's had nothing but grief and toil and worry about what was going to hit her next for years! Let her try something new for once! If she's traveling with you, she won't need a *commitment* if you're not ready yet to give her one. It will be good for Lajen, too. She's too fond of your boys to be torn apart from them."

"We'll be back, Ro. In a year and a half."

"You say that now, but if you're happy out there? Why bother to come back? Angelo will be much happier building houses in a new colony, not having to hear snide whispers behind his back about his past-even when he's doing people a big favor by working for them for almost nothing. I understand why he and Tal are going."

"Are you wondering why I am? Because I'm wondering myself. I've got a good job, and the boys are happy here." He sat on the rock next to Ro and sighed.

"You may be happy with your sons and your friends here on Bajor, but something has been missing since you came back to the Alpha Quadrant, I think." He looked at her, a question in his eyes. She answered before he gave it voice. "That Voyager family of yours-most of them will be together again, right?"

"I guess. Not all, though. The Careys won't be coming."

"But Janeway and Chakotay, Paris and Torres, Doctor Zimmerman, the Talaxians, Harry Kim, Tuvok and his wife, too-they'll all be going, I hear."

"They will. Interested in making a new start out there in the Delta Quadrant? Away from all the vedeks?"

"No, thank you!" Ro laughed. "I've made enough new starts in my life. It's time to stick with something. And I wouldn't count on being 'away from all the vedeks.' Prylor Sem Varen is going along to allow the Bajorans in the group a chance to worship the Prophets while they're way out there-and win a few converts, too, I'm sure. He wants a contingent of at least two dozen Bajorans with him. That's why I know Kajee and Lajen would be welcome to go along. I thank you for the offer, though."

She was sincere in her thanks, but maybe it didn't come out that way. Or maybe the quick blinking of his eyes and sad expression was because he was leaving Deep Space Nine. She doubted it could be anything to do with her. After all, they'd maintained a strictly professional relationship at all times on the station. That solemn look on his face couldn't be due to the reason she felt so bereft.

He stood up slowly, held out his hands, and murmured, "Thanks, Ro, for everything. For taking care of Raul and helping me find him again. And...well, walk with the Prophets, Ro Laren."

She didn't trust herself to do more than echo his closing sentiment, watching him as he receded down the hill alone; she remained on her seat on the rock as night descended around her.

She meant what she'd told him about sticking with something she'd started, but now that she was sitting on a hillside all on her own, the desire to try something new tempted her. She fingered her earring and contemplated her future. What did she want out of life? Respect in an official position? Marriage and a family? Maybe just the family without the marriage? She'd almost had that, in a way, when she'd first brought Raul to Kajee and she'd cared for him for her, eventually becoming more of a mother to him than Ro. Maybe it was fitting that Ayala and Kajee and their children go to the Delta Quadrant together. They fit together so well. Ro wasn't exactly the domestic type.

Still, it felt so bad knowing he wouldn't be around-even if it were only for eighteen months (and she didn't for a minute think that was all the time he'd be away). He had become a very good friend, as well as a valued co-worker, over the past year. More of a partner in the security office than a subordinate, as competent as he was.

Ro sighed deeply. She was shocked when there was an answering sigh from a few meters away. "Who is that?" she asked, a little more sharply than she probably should have. Ro didn't like being surprised in the night. She prided herself upon her ability to sense when someone was trying to sneak up on her.

"It's Morrow. James Morrow. Sorry if I startled you," a soft male voice stated from the enveloping darkness.

It took her a few seconds to put the name with the probable face. "The guy drowning his sorrows in Kafar at Kajee's house?" If so, that was another surprise; his voice didn't match his looks.

"Is that what they call it? Horrible stuff. I couldn't keep enough down to go on a bender no matter how hard I tried."

Ro grunted in amusement. "I can't get more than a sip down, even when Quark offers me some for free."

"Quark's the Ferengi barkeep on Deep Space Nine, right?" Morrow stepped a little closer. Although she still couldn't see his face, Ro made the connection. Like Angelo Tessoni, Morrow was one of the Equinox Five.

"That's Quark. I spend a lot of my time on the station keeping him under surveillance."

"I'll bet. Does he have anything better to drink...no. Scratch that. I don't want to even ask about that..." In spite of the darkness, she could see him hang his head.

"Anything is better to drink than Kafar. Maybe you've had more than enough to drink lately. Am I right?"

"Yeah." His reply was curt but emphatic.

"Are you going with the Ayala's and Tessoni's to this New Earth colony or embassy or whatever it is?"

He grunted derisively. "They wouldn't want me along."

"Why not? If Angelo is going, you can, too. I'm sure he could use your help building houses out there."

"I'm not much for building things. I'm more the destructive type."

"More the self-destructive type, I'd say."

"So? What's it matter to you?"

Ro jumped off the boulder and took two steps to stand in front of him. She could see his face clearly from this close, despite the gloom of night. "Nothing, really, except I've been where you are now and I know the only way to get out of it is to stop feeling sorry for yourself."

"I've heard that before."

"So, maybe you should start listening! If Ro Laren-ex-con, ex-Maquis and former screw-up-could hold on long enough to make something of herself, I'm sure you could, too."

"You didn't murder anyone."

"I wouldn't be so sure of that. People died because of me; I'd say that's close enough. The point is, you're not doing yourself any favors hanging around and drinking yourself to death. I assume that was what you were referring to a few minutes ago. If you go along on this eighteen month mission, you may find yourself again."

"The Delta Quadrant was a horror show."

"The Alpha Quadrant doesn't seem to be treating you much better," she pointed out.

He had nothing to say to that. Ro grabbed him by the arm and started marching down the hill, dragging him along with her. "I've had enough of being alone up here. Come on, let's go down to the party."

"I don't have much to celebrate," he said, but his voice no longer had the nihilistic quality it had held a few minutes before.

"I don't have much to celebrate either, to tell you the truth. I just found out I'm going to have to say good-bye to the best security officer on my staff and to his son, whom I love as much as if he were my own-not to mention assorted friends I've come to care about a lot. But those friends have something to celebrate. They're going on an adventure and they want me to wish them well, so I will. And I'll wish you well, too, if you want to go with them. Frankly, I think you should. You need to make a clean start."

"I..." His voice trailed off, as if he were so used to countering every argument made to him that he automatically tried to take the opposite view of anything, even when he wanted to agree.

Ro took pity on him. "Morrow, I can't say everything is going to turn out great for you. Who am I to know? I haven't looked into the Orb of Prophecy or the Orb of the Future in a very long time-never, as a matter of fact. I can't tell you what your fate might be. I can tell you that hanging around here feeling sorry for yourself is the best way I know of not to have a future. So take a chance. One thing about being at the bottom: you don't have much to lose, do you?"

"I guess not," he said. They were nearing the doorway, and light shining out from a window lit his face, highlighting a slight, rueful smile as he agreed with her. Smiling, his looks matched his mellow voice a lot more than the despondent look had.

By the time they reentered Kajee's house, no one was crying. Luis, Raul, and Lajen were singing a rather raucous popular song that was making the rounds of Deep Space Nine, and Ro didn't feel so bad any more. She'd find a way through this time of trouble, just as she always did. No one had ever promised her life would be easy. Good thing, too, because it certainly never had been.

But, as always, Ro found it was bearable.