Here is chapter 10, I hope all of you enjoy how quickly I am updating right now :)

Chapter 10, Broken.

Tsunade-sama agreed to let Naruto and Sakura take me for a little journey so I could see what the enemy is capable of. The three of us set out the next day, heading away from the walls as normal human speed, thanks to me. We dodge the craters left by the attack a few days ago, and jumped over fallen trees. It is amazing how much this forest has changed. It isn't even a forest anymore, really. Almost all of the trees are uprooted, burnt, or nonexistent.

We came to a spot in the forest that had some lumber fallen in a heap, it was obvious it had been burnt down. I slowed as we approached, stopping in a surprised silence when I realized what the structure had once been.

The cabin that was built for us when everyone was recovering from the plague.

Naruto looked at it sadly, but he said nothing. We continued on, stopping here and there for me to catch my breath. White clouds of mist billowed around my head as we ran, my body working overtime to try and keep up with them. Naruto offered to carry me, but I had declined, shaking my head. I don't want help, I want to get back into shape. We spent the night next to a familiar stream, though I couldn't place from when I remembered it.

And that was when I had my chance to prove to Sakura I am, in fact, a woman.

She said she was going to go wash up, and I moved to join her. I didn't miss the look she gave me. We walked together in silence and when we reached the stream she hesitated before she began to undress. "The water will be cold, make sure you breathe," she said.

I nodded as I started to remove my AMBU uniform. I left on my mask, but pulled my hair back and tied it. I slowly made my way into the stream, sucking in a sharp breath when I realized just how cold the water was. Winter makes the water freezing! The only thing that is keeping this stream from freezing is the current, otherwise it would have been frozen solid. I can tell from the temperature. The only good thing about the ice cold water was the fact that it numbed my fingers, taking away the pain.

I refused Tsunade-sama's offer to heal them. Last night marked a huge decision of mine, and I need some way to mark it. My torn up fingertips is that mark.

"What is that on your waist?" Sakura asked, jumping me a little. She waded over to me and gently touched the symbol of Konoha on my hip. Her frown deepened when she traced the Suna symbol. "Where did you get these?"

I shrugged and covered my breasts with my arms, a little semiconscious of how my body looked. Sakura stood there with her hands on her hips, her chest bare for all to see, staring at me with a deep frown.

"You aren't a spy, are you?" The question wasn't accusing, it was knowing. She nodded to herself, getting the answer from my silence. "I didn't think you were, but I couldn't rule out the possibility all together." She was silent for a few seconds and I hurried to wash the grime from my body. I don't want to lose all of the feeling in my body. "What happened to your hands?" she asked.

I shrugged and rubbed my fingertips on my palms, washing away the dried blood. If it wasn't for the numbness I know I would be crying because of how much it would have hurt.

"Let me see," Sakura said. She reached and took my hand in hers. "It must hurt..."

A different kind of numbness grew in my hand, a prickle-tingly feeling. Not the kind of feeling I remember when Sakura healed me ten years ago. And her hand is glowing purple, not that light green that I remember. The tingly feeling spread up my wrist, up my arm, and around my shoulder and up my neck. My head swam with the tingly feeling, and I stumbled. But Sakura's firm grip on my hand kept the current from sweeping me away. It was then that I realized what was happening.

Images of today's adventure flashed across my eyes, last nights talk with Kakashi, the talk with Tsunade before that. Sakura is looking at my memories. Images of Naruto and his family. Little Aiko. I tried to pull away from Sakura, but her grip on my hand was so tight. No doubt if I pulled any harder her grip would tighten to the point of snapping some bones.

I did the only other thing I could think of doing.

My other hand pulled back and flew at her face, surprising her. The crack of her nose was disgusting, yet oddly satisfying. I quickly got out of the stream, pulled on my clothes over my wet body and walked away. I didn't glance back at her, but I knew she was trying to heal her broken nose.

I stormed into the camp and sat down next to the fire, my hair stuck on my neck and across my mask. I brushed at it angrily and huffed. How dare she. How dare she! I grabbed a rock and through it as hard as I could into the trees. I grabbed another and was about to through it, too, but Naruto grabbed my fist and gently took the rock from my fingers.

"Settle down, Doe. There's no need to hurt innocent animals because of something that doesn't involve them." His sky blue eyes were stern with concern, and there was also a hint of curiosity in them. Sakura walked through the woods then, sitting down across the fire. "And, you, Sakura, have no right to do that. Don't look at me like that, I know what you did."

Sakura huffed and swiped her wet hair from her face. "How else am I supposed to figure out who she is?"

Naruto's look sent a shiver down my spine. I've never seen him like this, it is a little scary. "You aren't. If she wants to tell, she will. It is her decision, not yours."

My pride in the new Naruto grew. He really has grown up in the ten years I have been gone.

– –

My heart started to thud hard in my chest as we grew nearer to the edge of the forest. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind where we are going.

Suna.

What will happen when I touch the sand? Will Gaara know it is me? I hope not, it will ruin everything. But a secret part of my brain, the part attached to my heart, hopes he will. Every girls fantasy came to mind. A knight in shining armor coming to save me. But my knight has flaming red hair. My knight wields sand, not a sword. My knight would ride a cloud of dust, no a white steed. But my knight will never come. Because my knight thinks I'm dead, buried eight feet under the earth of which he walks.

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, rubbing the ache in my side. Sakura had offered to numb it, but I won't let her touch me. Not after what she tried. Naruto, just like his old self, thinks it is funny and keeps touching me, disappearing, and reappearing five feet away laughing because he saw me jump.

Two more hours, Naruto said, and we will reach were we are going.

I had thought, only two? When I was running at my top speed, it took just about this amount of time to reach Suna. With the pace I have set, it should be another night before we reach the desert, right? I dread what I am going to see. I dread the fear that is already gnawing at my insides. Do I really want to see Suna at its worst? Do I want to go through with this? I could just take their word at how bad it is. I could just agree and get them to head back to Konoha. But what is stopping me? Why do I have this inner feeling, this need, to see the destruction of my beloved Suna?

Is it because I still see it as a sort of sanctuary? My last moments in Suna were that of peace. I was with Gaara, close enough to hear his breathing and the sound of my daughters breathing. Sure, she had burnt me moments before, something I will never forget. But the image of Gaara holding her at my feet had been stuck in my head all of these years. I know it is something I will never forget. I need to see Suna, I decided. I need to build my anger against those who are now my enemies. I need to see Suna in the state they left it in so I can leave it behind. I need to focus on getting my job done.

I need to focus on not letting them find out who I am. And I need to focus on tipping the balance of the war in Konoha and Suna's favor.

– –

We came to a stop before we reached the desert. Sakura said it would be better for me to catch my breath before we started out on the desert. Naruto gave me a fruit to eat, and it was good. But it unsettled my stomach, which was already churning with nerves. I forced myself to eat it, knowing I needed something, and smiled my thanks.

"Have you been to Suna before?" Sakura asked.

Why does she need to ask? She saw my tattoo. I nodded anyway.

"Try not to be too shocked then," Naruto said. "I'm sure it has changed a great deal since you have last seen it."

I swallowed the last of the fruit and nodded. I wont regret this, I thought. I can't regret this. I need to see this. I need to.

"Let's get moving so we can be there by the time the sun goes down." Sakura dusted off her skirt as she stood.

I thought this over as we started moving again. Before the sun goes down? I always remembered it being better to travel at dusk, when the heat of the sun was lower but just before the freezing cold of nights came upon the land. I remember my first time every going to Suna I got badly sun burnt. Naruto and Kiba teased me endlessly about it, too.

I knew I wouldn't like what I saw before we even reached the edge of the trees. I could feel it. The desert is no longer a desert really. The ground is hard, cracked, and uneven. It looks like someone added tons and tons of water, set the sun on it for a week straight and forgot about it. It is exactly what I imagine a dry barren landscape is like. Not a blistering desert with tons of sand that got into every crack, every article of clothing. Just seeing the cracked earth gave me a stab on pain in my heart.

Naruto touched my shoulder than began running out to the treeless landscape. Sakura started after him. I took a deep breath and followed, noting how chilly it was. Even at noon. Now I know why Sakura said it would be better for me to catch my breath then, the wind is trying to rob it from me. The hard gusts blowing are not like those I created using my wind, they are natural winds that are trying to, literally, knock us off our feet.

We didn't stop. I wouldn't let them. I wanted to get off of this barren place and not have to look at it anymore. I don't want to feel the hard ground under my feet. What I would give to have the feeling on my feet sinking in the sand one more time. To have the heat of the sun beat so heavily on me I was left with burns. I ran with my eyes closed, following the sound of their feet as well as my perfect memory of the route to the front gates of Suna.

Blood was trickling down my throat by the time I noticed the slowing of their feet. I opened my eyes and glanced up, only to fall with a shock so strong it completely robbed the air and all feeling from my body. I bit down hard on my arm to keep from screaming.

The gates of Suna are destroyed.

The outer walls nothing but piles of stone. Buildings stood in half, some in quarters of what I remember them being. The big glorious water tower lay on its side, a gaping hole showing its empty belly. The wind blew dirt up in the air in front of me, obscuring my view for a few seconds. I bit down harder, willing the image to change. Willing what I see to be nothing but a nightmare. Suna can't be like this. It is impossible! Something so large, so grand, cannot change this much in ten years.

Naruto grabbed my arm and roughly pulled me to my feet, pushing me forward. "Let's get this over with." His voice was hard, full of contained emotion. Sakura's face was set as she walked beside me, staying just far enough away to make no contact with me.

We walked down the major street, one which I have lost memory of the name, but not of the road. This was the spot where all of the villagers greeted their Kage upon returning from his mission to watch us. I remember how they all cheered, how they fell silent at the raise of his hand. They loved him, respected him, so much. We turned and headed down a different street, climbing over piles of ruble. A wind blew and lifted dust into my eyes. I rubbed them hard to try to get it out, but it didn't work.

Naruto grabbed my arm to steady me, seeing my unbalance, and helped me down from the ruble. We walked down the street, and I tried to figure out which street it was. But the sight of a small discolored sign had my heart thumping hard again. I walked over to it and wiped my hand against it, reading the name.

"It used to be a tea place," Sakura said.

Yes, I remember. This is where Temari had me try tea for the first time. It was just after she took me shopping for some clothes for myself. I remember her laughter at the face I made when I tried it. I glanced around at the half standing building and felt my frown deepen. I turned away and followed the other two down the street some more. We passed all of the vendors broken tables and wagons, the broken buildings, and the dust.

We came to the Kazekage tower at last.

I stared up at the cracked building, spying a few holes here and there. How could this have all changed so much in ten years? It shouldn't be possible. I don't understand how it is. Ten years really isn't all that long. Surely not long enough for such damage as this to happen?

I walked right up to the broken doors and stepped over them, entering the building. The lobby still resembled what was in my memory. But the ceiling fell in at one spot, everything was old looking and damaged. I headed towards the stairs, testing the first step before I trusted my weight on it. It creaked. Something inside me let loose at the sound of that creak. And before I knew what I was doing, I was running up the stairs as fast as I could, dodging the broken steps, the ruble, and trash. Naruto and Sakura yelled after me as they followed.

I grabbed at the railing as my foot slipped on a piece of paper, but the railing broke from the wall with the force I grabbed it with. I started to fall backwards, but something caught me. Something hard and grainy. Something that made my head pound and everything around me shift to what I remembered it being like.

The bright colors of the pain blinded me, making me shield my eyes. Gaara stood at the tops of the stairs, a small smirk on his face at having seen me slip. I stuck my tongue out at him as he lifted me and carried me towards him with his sand, it sliding like rough silk across my skin, caressing every inch of skin it touched. His hand reached out and took hold of my hand as his sand set me down beside him. I couldn't help the smile that came to my face, or the blush I knew would be on my cheeks. His hair ruffled slightly with the wind, his eyes bright in the darkening light.

"Doe!"

I jumped at the sound of Naruto's frightened voice, the thumping of his steps getting closer. I stared at him as he came to a halt just below me, his chest rising and falling hard. His eyes were wide as he just stared. Sakura came up behind him, a little more calm, but her eyes growing wide as she stared at me.

The hand around my wrist tightened slightly and I was pulled back so they could come off the stairs. I looked at my wrist and followed the arm up to its owner, none other than the thick muscled, tall, and emotionless Gaara. The Kazekage is once more in his tower.

"Gaara, what are you doing here?" Naruto asked, patting the man roughly on the shoulder.

Gaara's eyes remained on mine. "I felt a disturbance and came to investigate."

I licked my lips and moved to step back from him, but the sand around my feet began to churn. I stopped moving altogether. I held completely still, not even daring to breathe. His fingers tightened, beginning to become slightly painful. I stared at his sculpted features, trying to will him to let go. I don't want to do this. I really don't. He doesn't know who I am and it can stay that way.

Sakura stepped forward and touched my back. "Are you okay? Naruto said he thought you were falling..."

I nodded, glanced at Gaara, then back at Sakura.

Sakura took hold of my other wrist and started pulling me to the side, and Gaara let go after a second. "Are you okay? Really?" I nodded again. She nodded and gave me a small smile, but her eyes were on Gaara. "We will have to chat later." I nodded again, completely agreeing.

"What kind of disturbance?" Naruto asked. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall.

Gaara's jaw worked, something I don't ever remember seeing him do. He looked thoroughly pissed off. Like he was containing the demon within. My heart skipped a beat. Shukaku! Of course he will know who I am! I felt my breath start to quicken, but Sakura's chakra pulsed into me, calming my nerves. I bit my lip hard to try and contain my emotions.

Gaara's fingers dug into his arm before he opened his mouth. "I will show you." He glanced over at us women from the corner of his eye. "Alone." Sand engulfed him and Naruto and they were gone.

Sakura sighed. "He has been like that for years, don't be offended." She dusted off her skirt and flicked her long hair over her shoulder. "Come on, lets see the rest of this place and be done with it."

I followed Sakura to a door. She stood to the side just staring at it. I stared at it, too. So many memories I hold happened just beyond that door. I died in that room. I got to know Gaara in that room. I reached for the door knob and turned it, swinging the door open without entering. With a deep breath and a gulp I stepped through and looked about. The hole I had seen earlier in the side of the building had been from this room. How I had not noticed before I don't know.

The whole back wall, where Gaara's winders had once been, are completely gone. Gaara's old desk was broken apart and shoved to the side of the room. The only thing that looks undamaged is the black leather couch off to the side. In the same exact spot I remember it being in when I laid down on it to rest. The same couch Gaara put in front of the windows when I was pregnant to keep me entertained. The same couch I had last seen before I returned to my own home. I walked over and ran my fingers over the soft leather, wiping away the dust with streaks.

Can I really do this? Moments ago I thought it would be best for Gaara to never know who I am. But can I do it? This couch has obviously been protected somehow. There is no doubt there was a fight in this office, with all the scuffs and scratches and holes in the walls. But this couch is perfect. A little dirty from none use, but perfect. It is like no one has touched it since I left. Since I died. I moved away from it before I started crying and went to the gaping hole in the wall. I gazed at the ruined village from the place I used to stand and watch the people of Suna happily go about their business. The same place I sat when the rain fell, when everything was okay. When everything was right. When I was happy, when Gaara was happy. When we were falling in love.

Love. Does he still love me? Does he wish I was here every second of everyday, like I used to? My eyes moved to a spot of the village that had been cleared out, where I can see the red of Gaara's hair and the yellow of Naruto's. They are standing beside something big. I glanced back at Sakura with a frown and she came over to have a look.

"That's Kira's grave..." she whispered. "Kira was Gaara's only love. The twins are her kids. She died not long after they were born, I'm sure I told you. That is where she was buried. Come on, let's go down. I want to see what is wrong."

With each step my heart rate picked up. We ran, because Sakura was anxious, which only contributed to accelerating my heart rate. When we got close I could see the tension in Naruto's back, the way he is holding his head. Gaara has been tense since I first saw him, so it was really nothing I picked up on. I thought it was just him. But not I can see why.

My grave. That's why. It is all dug up, the coffin torn apart. And whoever did it didn't even try to conceal it in the least. I stared at the hole in the ground, the mess around it, and the empty coffin. Sakura's whole body tensed and her jaw muscle twitched. I bit the side of my cheek. Jiraiya could have done something to hide the fact that he dug me out. He could have at least been careful when he broke open the coffin to get me out, I thought. But then I remember the fear I felt when I first woke up. I guess it is understandable that he ripped it off so hard.

"Who did this?" Sakura hissed. I looked down at my feet with a frown. How do I play my part? The girl who doesn't know the dead one and who must act like it bothers her this happened. But it doesn't. It doesn't bother me in the least! Because I'm alive, and being alive is a great feeling.

Gaara took a few steps forward and picked something up off the ground. "I don't know." He lifted it up and showed it to Naruto. I felt my heart contract. It is a necklace I had around my neck at all times, one with a small pouch of his sand in it. So he could always feel where I was. Jiraiya must have taken it off me. "But I plan to kill whoever did."

"There are no tracks, no scent, no nothing. How do you plan on finding them?" Naruto asked. He was working his jaw, like Gaara had, but with less force.

Gaara's eyes flickered to me. "By asking her."

My eyes widened and I gulped.

Review? I'd love to hear your thoughts about what just happened!