Title: Moving On

Author: Raven Shadowrose

Rating: M

Pairing:?/?

Summary: Dixie has been left broken hearted by Cyd's departure from the Holby team, what happens when Cyd is replaced by Hannah Darbyshire and Dixie takes a liking to her. Will she end up with even more of a broken heart or will she find the happiness that she has been searching for?

Disclaimer: I do not know or own any of the characters from Casualty, all original characters and the story are my property and I do not give permission for anyone else to use this story.

Author's Note: This story will contain will contain some femslash, if you do not wish to read it then by all means back away slowly the way you came, other than that enjoy the story and reviews are appreciated :)

Thank you to chan. nelson444, olivia. c. king1 and beethovenRIP for your reviews. One more chapter left after this one. I hope you enjoy it, this is one of my favourite chapters.

Chapter Fifty-Six... Hannah Darbyshire.

I know that it sounds strange, but, I don't know where to start, my thoughts seem to be going around in circles. I had originally started thinking about how life can sometimes take you in strange directions, and yet, it leads you to exactly where you need to be and sometimes to the person that you need to be with to make you feel complete. I started out my life like any other little girl, I played with dolls and skipping ropes and had teddies. I had dreams too, most young girls dreamed of being actresses, dancers or princesses but I dreamed of helping people. I wasn't sure how I was going to help people but I knew that I wanted to. As I grew up I would sit with my dad and listen to him talk about being a surgeon, he was always open with me when I asked him about it. I have always been proud of him and the way that he would save the lives of the people that needed his help. My dad has always inspired me to achieve my dream of helping people. He made me believe that I could do whatever I put my mind to, he has supported me my whole life and I owe him a lot. Being a paramedic makes me happy and fulfils me, it has also led me to the life that I've wanted all along. I think being a paramedic is a much better choice than being an actress or a dancer like my mother wanted me to be. She was trying to make me into someone that would earn a lot of money and spend all day with equally rich people. I hated it, it felt so soulless and uncaring, that world was one that I didn't want to join.

I was made to have several hobbies when I was old enough to start learning dancing and to play musical instruments and it left little time for being a child. Music is the only hobby that I really enjoyed when I was younger and the only one that I have continued into adult life, everything else I have given up. Playing an instrument relaxes me after work and helps me to calm down, work can be stressful and I like to just play music to release that stress. My playing relaxes Dixie too, she has almost fallen asleep quite a few times when I'm playing for her, I might have to get a bed in the music room as one day she might fall asleep on me properly. Dixie likes listening to me playing music, I think I have converted her to classical music, she has developed a few favourites and asks me to play certain pieces for her. She often sits next to me when I'm playing the piano and puts her head on my shoulder. I like these moments, it is nice that Dixie wants to spend time with me and just listen to the music that I play. I know that listening to me play makes Dixie happy, I am pleased that it does. I like making Dixie happy, I like to see her smile.

I remember the first day that I started at Holby, how different things were back then, I had never met Dixie, Jeff, Polly or Cyd and I turned up to the station not really knowing what to expect, what my new colleagues would be like or who I would be working with. I was nervous and a bit scared, I wanted to make a good impression on all of my colleagues and prove to them that I would be a valuable member of the team. I remember seeing Polly sat on the back of the ambulance and talking to her, she was obviously waiting for me as she knew who I was. I thought that she was sweet and kind, it was nice to have someone that obviously liked me and made me feel very welcome. Talking to Polly while I got changed into my uniform calmed me down and helped me to feel better about working somewhere new. Polly's innocent enthusiasm for life and helping people came through immediately. I wish that there were more people like her in the world. I am glad she is my partner, we work as a team and I know that I can trust her completely. We aren't just colleagues, we are friends and over time I have come to think of her as my sister. I am pleased that Polly felt she could confide in me about her past and how she was abandoned by her family. Polly has a family now, we love her and we always will do. Jeff and Dixie have become like parents to Polly, they are the parental figures that she needs in her life and I can't think of anyone better for the job. I'm still teaching Polly to play the guitar, though mostly we just play together now; if we weren't paramedics then we would be rock stars. Jeff would be our bodyguard and Dixie would be the manager. I smile at the thought, I must remember to tell Polly about thought I've just had at work tomorrow.

Jeff, the joker of the bunch, he is very childlike and messes around a lot. I understood what Dixie meant about Jeff and his jokes when I met him, he really does tell some rotten ones when the mood takes him. He is a good man and he takes care of everyone when they need it. Jeff is always ready with a hug if you need one, he protects the people closest to him and will do anything for them. I've started to think of Jeff as my second father and I know that he thinks of me as his daughter. He took Polly under his wing and became the father figure that was missing from her life; I think that she filled the space that was missing from his life too. I know a bit about Jeff, his ex-wife, and his children, Dixie told me, I feel sorry for him and I wish that things were different for him. I know that Jeff loves Dixie, I think he always has done and always will do. Dixie loves him back, more than once I've found them hugging each other in her office or the locker room. I know that Jeff will look after Dixie for me whilst they're working, he won't let anything happen to her, he would rather die himself first. Their friendship has been tested more than once and it makes me happy to see them stronger than ever. I was asked if I felt threatened by Jeff and Dixie's relationship and my answer is no, I have no reason to be. I am quite happy for Jeff and Dixie to love each other, it is platonic love and that is all there is to it. Jeff is always quite happy to see me and I am glad that I have his approval, he thinks I am good enough for Dixie and it make me happy that he thinks that about me. He always has time for the people that need his help and it is those qualities that make him an excellent paramedic.

I don't have any regrets about contacting Cyd and encouraging her and Dixie to renew their friendship. I knew that Dixie had feelings for Cyd and had done for a while, I trust Dixie, I know that she loves me and I know that she won't hurt me. The feelings that she used to hold for Cyd are definitely in the past. I heard the pain and sadness in Dixie's voice when she talked about Cyd, all I saw was a woman that was missing her friend. When I talked to Cyd, I heard the same sadness, she was missing Dixie and was sorry for hurting her. I had hoped that Cyd and Dixie would talk honestly with each other and sort out the friendship that clearly meant so much to them both. I knew that I was taking a risk but I am glad that the risk paid off and Dixie has her friend back again. Cyd is a nice woman, she made a mistake but she deserved the chance to start over, she had good intentions and if she hadn't left then I wouldn't have come to Holby and I wouldn't have met the woman that I fell in love with. It all turned out good in the end, Dixie and Cyd are definitely happy now and that can only ever be a good thing.

That brings me to Dixie, I remember meeting her for the first time, I was nervous enough to begin with, meeting your new boss is always hard. I felt intimidated by her, she had such a strong personality and it filled the entire room. I knew that the way she was looking at me meant she was assessing if I was good enough for her team. I had a feeling that if I didn't meet her high standards then I would be going back to Yorkshire at the end of the week. I wanted to impress Dixie, she makes people want to impress her and do their best. As I worked with Dixie during my first week I realised that the tough woman front was exactly that, a front. Underneath it all was a kind and compassionate woman that cares about people. The more I worked with Dixie, the more I liked seeing her and talking to her both at work and out of it. The day that Dixie got a brick thrown at her, I had to do something, I wouldn't let her get hurt by those thugs.

I remember the party to celebrate my first week and spending the whole evening with Jeff, Dixie and Polly. I enjoyed myself, getting Dixie's approval meant a lot to me and it was at the party that I realised why. When Dixie hugged me at the end of the night, she was warm and her touch was comforting. I didn't want her to let go of me but I knew that she had to. I thought about that hug all the way home, I realised that I was falling for Dixie, it had crept up on me without me realising. I didn't know what to do for the best as she is my boss so I decided to stay quiet. I didn't know if she liked women or not. I stayed quiet about my feelings until the day of the shout at the bank. It was stressful for us both, I was so worried that Dixie would get hurt in there but I was relieved that we both got out of there alive, even if I did end up with a gun pointed at my head. Dixie blamed herself for putting me in danger, I could see it, she let me go in there and that made her think that it was her fault. I tried to convince her that she wasn't to blame but it was hard work. I was surprised when she kissed me, it wasn't unwelcome though, my feelings for Dixie had been growing stronger as the weeks passed. If I had known what Dixie had been feeling for me then I would have found a way to tell her about my feelings. I am just glad it all worked out well in the end and we're together.

I smiled at Dixie as she sat next to me and put her arm around me. 'Dixie?'

'Yes, beautiful.'

'I love you.' I snuggled up to Dixie and rested my head on her shoulder.

'I love you too.' Dixie kissed me on the head and I cuddled closer to her. 'Hannah, can I ask you something?'

'Of course you can, you know that you can ask me anything.'

'What did you think of me when we first started seeing each other.'

'I liked you, very much, you made me smile and laugh.'

'That's good to know.'

'I mean it, you make people feel good about themselves Dixie.'

'Did you find me attractive?'

'Yes, I did and I still do. It was your eyes and your smile that attracted me first.'

'My smile isn't perfect, I know that my teeth are a bit uneven.'

'Don't be so down on yourself, you have a lovely smile, your eyes crinkle up at the sides and you look happy, all of your emotions show in your beautiful blue eyes.'

'Thanks Hannah.'

'You are beautiful Dixie.' Dixie smiled and I kissed her, she will always be beautiful to me.

I felt Dixie's hand stroking my hair and her other one tracing little patterns over the bare skin on my arm. 'Hannah, when do you want to get married?'

'Are you saying you want to come up with a possible date?'

'Yeah, I was thinking we could do it around the time that we got together. In another few months we will have been together a year, I think it will be the perfect way to celebrate.'

'I like it, you are a romantic Dixie Dixon.'

'Only for you beautiful. Unless you think it is too soon for us to marry, compared to some couples we have only been together for a short time.'

'I don't, I know that this is right, I want to marry you Dixie.'

'There's so much to think about.'

'I know, I don't want a massive wedding though, it should be just us and the people we care about.'

'I like it, I don't want to have a huge wedding either, it is too stressful. I would rather have something small with just the people we love there.'

'That sounds good, we will find somewhere quiet and pretty.' I smiled at Dixie and she smiled back at me, I am quite excited about planning our wedding.

'Hannah, what will we do about the name issue?'

'I have thought about this and I will take yours.'

'Really, you will?'

'Yes, I am yours Dixie, I want to take your name.'

'That means a lot to me.'

'I know, I can see it in your smile.'

'I can't wait to marry you Hannah, I can see you outside somewhere by a lake and in a lovely dress. You'll have flowers in your hair and you'll look beautiful, just as you always do.'

'That sounds wonderful to me. I don't think I'll be wearing white though, it's never been my favourite colour.'

'I know, I can see you in one of those medieval style dresses, in blue velvet.'

'I like it. Do you want to wear a dress Dixie?'

'I don't know, maybe not.'

'In that case, you'll be wearing a very stylish trouser suit with a shirt that brings out your lovely eyes. Jeff will straighten your hair for you too.' I saw the smile that Dixie gave me and I knew that I had said the right thing.

Dixie's arms closed around me and held me close to her, I was looking forward to our wedding, we would decide the actual date that we would marry when my dad comes to visit next week. I keep in touch with him and talk to him as often as I can, it is important to me, I want to know that he is all right. I worry about him being alone in that house. I love my dad. I am looking forward to seeing him. In our last call he confessed to me that he was talking to a counsellor about being stabbed by my mother. I am glad that he isn't bottling it up inside himself and that he is talking to someone about it. I am hoping that coming to see Dixie and I will cheer him up and helping us to pick a date for the wedding will give him something to look forward to. I know that I am looking forward to marrying the woman that is holding me in her arms. I love her and I know that there isn't anyone that I would rather spend the rest of my life with.