Kagome sipped at the tea, barely avoiding staring at the tiger hanyou before her. The last interaction made her flush with embarrassment, remembering the way she cried at the finality of knowing Inuyasha would never be hers.

And the way Sesshomaru comforted her.

She scowled at the thought, and glanced at Kyoko to distract herself. "When did you come to Kaede's?" she asked, holding back the question she truly wanted to voice. Shippo sat beside her, watching the two with uncharacteristic silence. The kit hadn't spoken since they came upon Kyoko, not even asking who she was.

"Recently," Kyoko said, putting away the tea supplies and taking her own cup. "Inuyasha wanted to focus on finding Naraku." Her eyes fell to the floor. "My pregnancy was in his way."

At the mention of Inuyasha and pregnancy, Shippo looked at his mother in surprise. Kagome gave him a look that said she would explain later. She turned to Kyoko, and felt a tug of sympathy.

A call from outside made Shippo jump, and Kagome glance at the door. "If you continue to pity yourself, you will not be strong enough to deliver your own child!"

Kaede appeared in the doorway a moment later, the scent of herbs and aged wood strong on her. Kagome breathed it in as she smiled at the older miko. "Hello, Kaede. It's wonderful to see you."

"Kaede!" Shippo said, beaming.

Kaede laughed. "I am pleased to see you as well, Kagome, and you, Shippo." She gave them a soft smile, and moved her gaze to Kyoko. "As for you, Hansha, Inuyasha is coming back soon. Do not waste time rotting in guilt when you have a child to care for."

Such harsh words coming from a woman Kagome thought of as an elder guide shocked her, and reminded Kagome of the days when she was first learning from the miko. Kaede would use strict methods when she thought Kagome could learn a technique no other way. One word caught Kagome's attention, and said repeated, "Hansha?"

Kyoko smiled. "A nickname. My name is written in the kanji meaning 'child of today,' but 'Kyo' can also be written using the kanji meaning 'mirror.' The word hansha means reflection."

Kaede sat beside the hanyou, and said, "It is a reminder. She reflects her problems unto others to the point of irritation because she is insecure in herself. Inuyasha is dutiful if nothing else, and I am sure he will not abandon his child, so you must forget his absence and focus on the present."

Kyoko nodded, sipping her tea. Kagome blinked, looking between the two of them. Even when training to perfect her skills as a miko, Kagome never received a cruel nickname. But, if Kaede felt it necessary, it would be good for the hanyou girl. Kagome trusted her judgment.

And that was why she came here in the first place. She opened her mouth to speak, and Shippo interrupted.

"What's going on?" he asked, hurt evident at his voice. "Where's Inuyasha? And Mama, how come you seem to know about all this?" He raised an eyebrow at her.

"I wondered that myself," Kaede said. "Inuyasha implied that you knew of the pregnancy."

Kagome sighed, looking at Kyoko, who only watched her with slitted tiger pupils. Her eyes drifted to Kyoko's abdomen, which showed no sign of holding a child within it. "I did meet Kyoko," Kagome said. "Sesshomaru came across Inuyasha's scent. He was losing himself to his youkai half. Kyoko was attempting to calm him, and she mentioned the pregnancy in front of us."

"Is that where you guys disappeared to before?" Shippo asked, wrinkling his brow. "Is that why you guys were fighting earlier?"

Kagome stiffened. "No, that isn't why we fought. There was something else going on. Anyway," she said, ignoring the curious looks of the two women, "has Inuyasha left? You mentioned Naraku, Kaede." Kagome faced the older miko.

She nodded, and said, "Aye. Kyoko was experiencing weakness from the pregnancy and the weather. It could grow worse as it gets colder. I told her to avoid travel."

"And Inuyasha didn't want to lose Naraku's trail," Kyoko added. "I'm staying here to rest. He said he will come back soon." The sadness crept into her voice, but in Kaede's presence, Kyoko managed to keep her expression together.

"Now," Kaede said, "what is this fight with Sesshomaru that you mentioned?"

Attention shifted to her, Kagome gulped and looked away. It was the last thing she wanted to speak about. But she could not lie or hide the truth from Kaede. Even if Kagome did not love her as much as she did, Kaede had a way of weeding dishonesty out of everyone.

Kagome explained everything as best she could, about the village and Naraku's miasma poisoning the town, Kagome purifying the miasma and harming the youkai villagers in the process, Sesshomaru's obvious anger at losing confidence in his citizens from a mate that could not control her powers, and Kagome leaving to seek Kaede's help. As she spoke, Kagome began to understand better why Sesshomaru would be angry. With all the doubt being rooted by Naraku, he needed every ounce of trust he could gain from his people. However, it did not dampen Kagome's frustration with him.

When she finished, Kaede sat in silence for a few minutes. Shippo pat Kagome's hand in a gesture of comfort, and Kagome lifted him to her lap in response. She noticed Kyoko watching them, and smiled. Clearly the mother to be wanted to learn by observation.

Before Kagome could consider this further, Kaede spoke. "If you wish me to assist you, I will need conformation that you will return to Lord Sesshomaru's side."

"Of course," Kagome said without thinking, even as her cheeks brightened with color at the thought of returning after such an explosive fight. "We're bound by the Hana no Shukumei, I have to return."

"I meant, that I want you to return because you wish to do so."

Kagome's eyes widened in shock. "Because I want to?" She raised an eyebrow.

The old miko nodded. "I will not assist you if the assistance only gives you the chance to run from your destiny. Fate is never written in stone, Kagome, but if you try to avoid the path fate pushes you toward, the consequences could be dire."

That struck a chord. Kagome stared, the words penetrating her mind. No one told her she could avoid her fate. She was destined to mate Sesshomaru, and that was that. Kaede was the first to mention an alternative.

Judging by the sound of her voice, Kagome didn't want to take the alternative.

She hugged her son tightly, and the kit didn't protest. "I know what the right thing to do is, Kaede," she said, sighing. "And, to be honest . . ." Kagome thought once more about Sesshomaru, the way he comforted her and claimed he would put his effort into their mating. It was the only time she could recall him being genuinely truthful, without any hint of hesitation or lies in his golden irises. "I don't hate Sesshomaru, or even dislike him," she said. "It's just hard to deal with someone who hides everything until it blows up. He was so angry with me, I had no idea how to deal with it after knowing him as a cold youkai who revealed nothing."

Kaede stared at Kagome for a long moment. The intensity made even Shippo nervous, and as he squirmed, Kagome relinquished him. Shippo scrambled out of the hut with a muttered, "I'm gonna go for a walk."

Another moment passed, and Kaede stood. "You may stay here tonight, Kagome." She gave her a small smile. "Decide how you feel. We can discuss whether I will provide assistance in the morning."

Kagome nodded, glad to have her consent for now. Kaede left, leaving only Kagome and Kyoko alone in the building. She peered at the tiger hanyou, who rubbed her flat stomach absently.

Kagome sighed, and leaned against the thin wood walls. She didn't think she was confused. Sesshomaru was good at heart, protecting his people, and acting as a father to Rin. His violent methods frustrated her, and he could be cold, but Kagome could see past that. He had her respect. Kagome wanted it to work, if they were to be bound forever.

Sesshomaru said himself that he also wanted it to work. He was tired of fighting the Hana and vowed to put his energy into their Mating Dance. Kagome remembered when he held her hand, rubbing her fingers gently. The touch only lasted a moment, and it was not the first touch they shared. And yet, it was the first time he touched her with such tenderness. It made Kagome's heart flutter when he held it, and her heart felt empty when he released her hand and insisted they returned to camp. Kagome suspected the closeness frightened him. It frightened her, as well.

"I wish our situations could be reversed, Miss Kagome."

Her head turned, to face the hanyou. "Why is that, Kyoko?" Kagome asked.

Kyoko smiled, and said, "Call me Hansha, as Kaede does. It is difficult for each of us to have such similar names."

Kagome blinked, and nodded. "All right, Hansha. Why should our situations be switched?"

The tiger hanyou paused in thought, and said, "Not switched, necessarily, but I might prefer to be in your shoes. I lost my father at an early age. It's been hard to find those that accept me." She touched her stomach again. "It might be easier to be bound to someone I did not like, than to try and find someone that did not hate me."

"It's not," Kagome said, shaking her head. "Being bound like this, it feels constricting." She hesitated, and corrected herself. "It felt that way at first. I'm used to it now, but the confusion is there. I believe . . ." Kagome sighed. "I know that Sesshomaru is good. But to be with him when he refuses to be honest with himself, it . . . I just wish I could help." Kagome closed her eyes. "I wanted to help his people, and remove some of his burden. I made a mistake. And when he threw the mistake in my face, I took it badly. The fight is as much my fault as it is his. He could have been less of a jerk, but I'm a part of this."

"Sharing the burdens of a fate bound mating must be difficult."

Kagome looked at Kyoko. No, Hansha. The girl who reflected her own feelings back at others. Thinking of her situation with Inuyasha, Kagome reasoned that they might not be that different.

"It is," Kagome agreed. "Trying to fight Naraku doesn't help." She clenched a fist. "I've handled this poorly."

Hansha shrugged. "You could apologize."

Kagome laughed, a nervous noise that sounded choked. "I could. I might, in a little while." Kagome took a deep breath. "My pride got in the way of a lot of apologies I should have given. Still." She frowned as she thought of Sesshomaru trying to control her. "He deserves to be alone, for a little while." And her thoughts flitted back to that tender touch on her hand. Kagome wished it were as simple as whether she hated the daiyoukai or not. Instead the feelings were too mixed for comfort. "I wasn't planning to stay away very long," she continued. "I want help from Kaede as much as I want to let him know that he can't do as he pleases with me."

"You're brazen," Hansha said, and smiled. "I like that."

Kagome grinned, and the two laughed. The tiger was strange. Moaning about her predicament and being thrashed by Kaede's words, yet still wise enough to listen and give Kagome advice. It reminded Kagome of Souta. Her brother was immature and whined, and yet he was the one Kagome could go to if she had problems their mother wouldn't understand.

They spoke for a while longer, the day passing slowly. The weather was going through a hot flash, that would soon turn crisp and violently cold. Fall would descend, and winter soon after. Kagome watched the sky through the flap covering the door. For once, it felt good to talk with someone and rest. It wasn't like resting at camp, or at the castle. Kaede's hut was like a second home, filled with aged scents that wrapped around the air in a gentle caress. Kagome inhaled deeply, soothing herself.

Shippo returned after some time, poking his head in meekly. "Mama?" he said. "Where's Kaede?"

Kagome smiled, and beckoned him inside. "I'm not sure," Kagome admitted, as Shippo sat beside her. "I feel better, though. Kyo-, I mean, Hansha and I were talking."

"Oh." Shippo looked at the tiger hanyou. "Are you really have Inuyasha's baby?"

Hansha blushed, a hand going to her belly. "Yes. It was a mistake, really, but I'm not going to abandon it." The feline ears on her head flattened. "I only wish Inuyasha could be here."

"He'll be back." Kagome touched Hansha's hand. "Inuyasha . . ." She hesitated. "He had a hard childhood. I don't think he would do the same to his kid."

Hansha smiled, and nodded.

They continued talking well into the evening, and Kaede did not show until the sun had long since passed. Shippo fell asleep next to his mother, his head leaning against her hip. Kagome brushed his hair lightly while she talked with Hansha.

When Kaede reappeared, she held a bag of herbs from the forest. That answered the question of where she'd been. She beside the women, pulling out a few plants and grabbing the pot over the fire. "Hansha, would you fetch me some water?"

The tiger stood, and said, "Yes, Kaede."

Kagome frowned as she watched her go. "She's pregnant. Shouldn't she rest?"

Kaede placed the herbs in the pot, and shook her head. "She is not heavily pregnant. Besides, Kyoko needs to be taught how to help others."

"That's harsh, Kaede," Kagome said, turning to face her. "Calling her a mean nickname and making her work."

Kaede gave Kagome a stern look. "I recognize Kyoko's type. She is genuinely kind and wishes the best for others, but a lifetime of being rejected has given her fear. She is easily upset when a situation turns sour and clings to what she has. It is the reason she became pregnant. She tried to hold Inuyasha too tightly. I am teaching her to focus more on others than on herself and learn that strangling happiness is not the way to keep it." The old miko sighed. "I am not doing anything that would damage her, Kagome. I simply wish to teach."

Kagome pat Shippo's head softly. "It seems a strange way to teach."

"She wants to be coddled," Kaede said, "and she hides this desire behind false strength. I saw her argue with Inuyasha. She appeared controlling of him, when truly, all she wants is comfort. It is better that she learn to handle her own emotions before handling the emotions of her companions."

There was a long silence. Kagome thought it over, and looked into Kaede's eyes. The miko never did anything unless she had to. And, in all honesty, it was none of Kagome's business either way. "All right," she said. "I won't bother you about it. It's not why I'm here."

Kaede nodded, and the door opened. Hansha held a metal bowl filled with water. She poured it into the pot with herbs and set it on the fire automatically. The flames were extinguished, and Kaede set to starting them again.

When the water was hot and the herbs boiled within it, Kaede poured the water into a cup. It smelled bitter, and Kagome wrinkled her nose. Kaede gave the cup to Hansha, and said, "Drink." The tiger hanyou obeyed.

"Is that medicine?" Kagome asked, as Hansha finished the steaming cup.

"For the pup's health," Hansha answered. "Right, Kaede?"

"Aye." Kaede stood once more. "I must check on the villagers and ensure no youkai attack tonight." She turned to Kagome, with a smile. "Make yourself at home in the guest sleeping area. I probably will not be back until you have fallen asleep." The old miko vanished through the doorway again.

Kagome took the duty of putting out the cooking fire, after Hansha took another cup of the brew. Kagome put a lid over the pot, unsure if it should be dumped outside or saved.

The small hut Kaede owned was not much, but it did have another room next to the cooking area. Two futons were laid out. Kagome picked up Shippo, who mumbled groggily. It seemed strange for him to sleep so much in one day, but perhaps he was as stressed as Kagome. She knew he worried about her, especially with everything going on recently.

Kagome opened the wall closet with Shippo in one arm, pulling out another futon and laying it beside the first two. Hansha leaned in the doorway, rubbing her stomach again.

"We should eat dinner," she said, as Kagome laid her son down to sleep.

"Oh." Kagome paused, and chuckled to herself. "I've been so worked up, I forgot about eating." She looked up. "Is there anything in the hut, Hansha?" The name still felt strange to say, knowing why Kaede used it, but Kagome was secretly glad to have something to call the tiger hanyou that didn't sound so similar.

Hansha glanced at the other room. "Some cooked fish and bread, I think, if you'd like it. The fire might take a while to start up again, if you want the fish warm."

Kagome sighed, walking into the other room. "I wish I remembered about dinner before putting it out," she mumbled, hunting until she found the compartment in the floor. The top layer had a bread box, edible plants, and a few prepared meats. Kagome could see a latch beneath the food. It most likely led to an underground storage for the winter. Kaede was more than prepared for the oncoming weather.

She grabbed the bread and some fish. The other meat wasn't cooked yet, and would take too long to make. Kagome grabbed a piece of flint and began work on setting the cooking fire again.

Hansha sat to the side, watching. "You certainly aren't delicate," she commented.

It took Kagome a moment to process what that meant, and shrugged. "I wasn't raised in this area," she said. "I'm not as dainty as the local women."

"I prefer it that way," Hansha said, as the fire caught. Kagome set the fish over it on the cooking spears, turning them slowly while they warmed. "Women who can work are tougher."

"I suppose."

Silence dragged on as Kagome prepared their dinner.

When the fish were done, they ate quietly, both minds distracted by other issues. More than anything, Kagome wanted to go to bed and stop thinking. Her thoughts were plagued with questions, about how she really felt for Sesshomaru.

Kagome knew how she felt. She repeated this in her mind over and over as she ate. But it is not true, is it?

She nearly choked, causing Hansha to look up in alarm. "I'm fine," Kagome said, swallowing the bit of fish before it went into her lungs. What do you want? Kagome hissed mentally.

I'm trying to help, her inner youkai purred innocently.

You're never much help, Kagome thought, biting her fish. Suddenly it tasted much less appetizing.

Of course I am, the inner youkai spat back. I'm your other half, the emotions you deny, the powers you have yet to unlock. If you would only give me a chance, I can help you untangle this mess with Sesshomaru.

No way! Kagome held back a growl, finishing her dinner and storming to bed. Hansha raised an eyebrow, and continued to eat silently.

Kagome pulled back the covers of her futon, nestling in with Shippo. Her head began to pound, and she knew all she wanted was sleep. She could deal with everything else in the morning.

"Mama?"

Shippo opened his eyes, rubbing the sleep away. "Are you mad?" he asked.

Kagome smiled at her son, stroking his hair. "No, sweetheart. Go back to sleep."

Shippo stared at her, his eyes more aware as the grogginess left him. "I think you should stay with Sesshomaru," he said.

That surprised her, and Kagome was too curious not to ask, "Why?"

"Because you seem happier."

She stared at Shippo, and furrowed her brow. "I don't mean to tell you you're wrong, Shippo, but this whole mating business has given me more stress than I could ever want."

The kit snuggled close to her, resting his head against her arm. "It's different now. You used to complain a lot about Inuyasha, and worry about Sango and Miroku. And you smelled unhappy most days. You don't seem to worry as much now, and your scent changed."

Kagome sighed. "I'm less worried because our friends aren't here for me to worry about. And my scent changed because I'm a youkai."

Shippo looked at her, frowning. "I'm not stupid, Mama. You would worry just as much about me and Rin as you did about our friends if you still felt as bad. And I can smell things in your scent besides your species." He touched his nose. "I'm a fox, I've got a great sense of smell. I knew how unhappy you were just by being around you. You're still stressed and worried, but . . . not so much, anymore."

Kagome tilted her head, questioning. "And that's due to Sesshomaru?"

Shippo nodded with confidence. "I noticed it a few days after we arrived at the castle. I think you were getting used to being around him. And now that we're away . . ." He paused, and said, "Your scent is starting to get stressed and worried again. I don't like it."

They sat in the futon for a long time, looking at each other. Kagome heard Hansha moving in the next room. The tiger youkai came in and settled on her bed, pulling the covers up. Kagome waited until she could hear slow, even breathing.

"There are a lot of reasons for me to be worried," Kagome said, when she knew Hansha was asleep. "And I will go back to Sesshomaru. I just need some space right now. I want to learn some control over my powers."

Shippo frowned again, and sighed. "All right, Mama."

Kagome smiled, and kissed his forehead. "Go to sleep, Shippo."

The fox kit did as he was told, snuggling with her and closing his eyes. Kagome wrapped her arms around him.

Tomorrow, she could figure everything out.

()

Hi, everyone. Mattaki here. The update is a little late, I've been super busy with school.

So, in this chapter we interact with Kaede and Kyoko a bit more, and I've given Kyoko a nickname to make things a bit less confusing! I swear, I'm terrible with character names. Anyway, that's it for this chapter. Next should be up around November 17th, which is when my Thanksgiving Break starts (thank goodness!).

I hope you all enjoyed this. Thank you very much for reading! Please review! Let me know what you think, I would love to hear it!

Ja ne~