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Chapter 19, To Kill.

How does one prepare to murder another?

I sit on my bed facing the window, Youji sitting next to me staring with her head tilted to the side. The sun began its decent five and a half hours ago. The sun is starting to turn an orange red color, casting the few clouds a magnificent pink. Is Matsuri watching the sunset? Does she know it is the last time she will see it? Does she know I am coming for her?

I close my eyes and allow myself a moment without thinking.

But her face forms before my eyes, the one I knew ten years ago.

Her pleading face. The one she gave me when I observed her condition of the black plague. How helpless she looked. The pain, the sorrow. Knowing she would die. Knowing I was the only one who had any chance at saving her life. When Matsuri returned to Konoha looking for me, begging me to come and help them. She, and many others, would have died that day had I not been there. I am sure of it.

Matsuri has looked up to me to save her and those she cares about for years. How can I kill her? What if she looks at me with those pleading eyes? I opened my eyes to the red sky.

She is no longer the Matsuri I knew. She kills innocent people now. She betrayed Gaara and is aiding the enemy to kill him. To kill my babies. She must be stopped. She must be stopped before she can harm anyone else. And if I die trying to end her life, then so be it. But I will do everything within my power to eliminate her from this world, and any other world she could go to. Because she is a danger to human life.

As the sun and its light disappears, I know I am ready.

And when I look into the mirror, I see my face. The face of the matured Kira Lorenzo of New York, daughter of a millionaire, owner of the top club. I see Kira of Suna, Kira of Konoha, and Doe of nowhere. I see a mother who is ready to defend her babies at any cost. I see myself in all forms, ready for this fight. But, most of all, I see Kira, the monster with bloodied hands.

– –

I go alone, not allowing Gaara any room for arguing. In all reality, he could have forced the issue, being my superior. But he didn't. He said nothing as I left, without a mask, without my disguise. No one will be out this night. The clouds hover over head, heavy with rain like a dark omen. I walk down the street, my hair loose around my shoulders, my black outfit snug against my skin. I am but a shadow deep within the shadows.

I carry nothing but a twig with a metal end.

Will she remember me? What will she say when she sees my face? She will not believe it. She will think I am fake and shake her head to dispel the image. But I will not leave that easily. Not with her still breathing. I will have what I want this night. I will have her death.

I hear footsteps around the next block. I slip closer to the house I'm walking past, slipping deeper into the shadows. I peek around the corner.

Its her.

Matsuri is walking at a steady pace, her arms wrapped around herself, her eyes darting back and forth. She is alone. She is unsettled. She knows something is wrong. When she comes thirty feet from the corner I am at I step out of the shadows, but keeping close enough to them to hide only my face. The lamp light casts my body with light, ending where the shadow starts at my neck.

She stopped abruptly, her arms loosening with shock. How can someone be out here, she thinks. Who are they, what do they want. Are they after me. I know these are running through her head, I can see it on her face. I hold the twig out, the metal facing away from my body. It slowly changes shape, lengthening, sharpening. Within seconds I am holding a sword sharp enough to split a hair.

She takes a step back, thinking of running. But no, she isn't a runner. She plants her feet firmly on the ground and holds her hands to her sides, ready to make a move at a seconds notice. Who is this, she thinks. I smile mockingly. Matsuri's eyes scan the small area we are in. She is looking for an escape route. But there is none. She couldn't have chose a worse area to be found in. The road behind me ends, and she needs to get by me to go the way I came from, which, if you don't know the area, could very easily lead you to yet another dead end.

She thinks of escaping the way she came. But she knows she wouldn't be able to make it. She doesn't know if I have a good throw or not. For all she knows, the second she moves to turn she could end up with a sword piercing through her. She feels caged. Her eyes dart to the roof tops. Yes, she could try that. She could jump to any alley she wishes and hide. But she doesn't know my speed. I could be on her before she lands on the roof, gutting her, pushing my sword in her to the hilt.

Her only option, she knows, is to stay and fight. To see how strong I am, how fast I am. Then she can think of her escape. Her feet spread apart, her knees bend. She is ready.

But she is not ready for this.

I step out of the shadows just as she is about to pounce. Her shock is so great she almost falls over. She takes a few staggering steps backwards to regain her balance. Her eyes are wide, her mouth wide open. Good, she remembers my face. I take another step forward, swinging the sword in my hand until it is facing her. I take two more steps. Her jaw works, her gasps coming out hard.

"You- No," she stutters. "No, you're dead!" She staggered again. Is she that thrown off by my appearance? All of the others took it very well.

"You should never have done it, Matsuri," I whisper into the night air.

She hears me. I can see the shock turn to fear. She now knows I am here to kill her. Instincts take over and her body moves on its own. How much she has learned in the years is not surprising. I sprint forward and grab her wrist with my free hand, spinning her around. Her arm comes up towards my face, her elbow ready to jam into my nose. But I blocked it with the hilt of my sword. A sickening crunch filled the air, along with a pain filled yelp from her.

"You should never have done it, Matsuri," I repeated, a little louder.

She tried fleeing again, but I am faster. I get in front of her and shove her backwards so hard she falls to her back, cracking her skull on the ground. The hard smell of blood reaches my nose as I walk to stand over her.

Tears shine on her face. "Why?" she gasps. "Why are you doing this?"

I stared down at her, my sword by my side. She is so helpless, just like I knew she would be. Her shock and fear have rendered her useless in a fight. Her eyes are not only pleading me to let her live, they are begging me as well. She whispers something useless, but I cannot hear it over her sobs. This girl was once so high and mighty. Thinking she was so much better than me. So much more worthy of Gaara's love. And now look at her.

Her hair is a mess. Her make-up runs with her tears. Her clothes are dirty. Everything she never was she is now. She is pathetic. What made her turn this way?

Kankuro said it was Gaara's love for me that did it. Her reason for leaving was because Gaara could never love her because she had history with me. Because of our rivalry. I am the very reason she has turned into this mess. Because of me she is here right now, begging me with her eyes to let her live. Is it only fair that I am the one to get her out of this mess? What would she do if I let her live? No, that is not an option. Though, most would pass her off as crazy if she went around saying I am alive and I tried to kill her.

No. Matsuri has to die.

"Please," she begs.

"You should never have done it," I whisper to her.

Matsuri's eyes widen, and she takes a deep breath as if to scream. But she never gets the chance. I lift my sword over my head with both hands, the tip pointed towards her chest. With all my strength, I force it downwards and into her body, slicing her heart in half. Her eyes grow a fraction wider and freeze like that. I yank my sword out and watch her lifeless body fall to the ground, her eyes staring up at the black sky as the rain starts to fall.

"You should never have betrayed Gaara."

I drop the sword to the ground and let it turn back into a twig, only now it is covered in blood. Only now, after everything is over, do I realize the tears on my cheeks. The rain quickly disguises them. But the rain cannot disguise the pain on my face, nor the shaking of my body. A hand reaches up and wipes my cheek, to wipe away the rain and tears. But instead of the clear liquid my hand comes away red.

Red with blood.

I screech and wipe furiously at my face, trying to get it off. It isn't coming off. I sob loudly as I wipe at my face, my neck, my arms. I am covered in it. My shoes soak with it, the warm thickness of it. Suddenly I became all to aware of the dead body at my feet. I move to get away from it, to run away from her staring eyes. But I slip on the dirt and fall, my face coming within inches of hers. I feel my panic setting in. I am frozen.

Hands grabbed me, pulling me away from the sight. A large jacket covers my head and shoulders, keeping me close to the chest of the jackets owner. A large rough hand cradled my cheek and made me look up. Those jade eyes pulled me out of my terror. Gaara's eyes instantly soothed me. They let me know I'm not alone. They let me see there will be a tomorrow for me. They let me know everything will be alright.

I forced my eyes shut and leaned into his warmth for I find myself suddenly very cold.

– –

I regained sense of things when my body was lifted into the air. I gripped the arms around me tightly, holding on for dear life. But they didn't let go. I quickly found myself enveloped in hot water with lots of bubbles on its surface. And somehow I am now naked. And the feeling of another persons skin against mine has my fear bubbling up again. I twist in the arms enough to see who is behind me. Gaara's jade eyes stare into mine.

"Sh," he whispers. "Everything is alright now."

I stare at him like he is crazy. What is he talking about?

He hands me a soapy cloth. "Wash up, the blood will go away."

I look down at myself, my hands, my arms, my chest. I am covered in blood. Fear is deep in my veins now. I know for a fact none of Matsuri's blood got on me. It didn't even splatter. But I remember the rain. I remember the strong smell of blood in the air. Matsuri isn't the only one who died this night.

"Who?" I manage, but nothing more.

Gaara brushes my hair away from my neck and uses a cloth to wipe at the blood. "Mamoru. He saw you going after her. I couldn't allow him to touch you."

I swallowed hard, my throat is very dry. "You killed him," I whispered. It is not a question, but he answers anyway.

"Yes."

He continues to wipe at the blood on my skin. I stared at my hands. The same hands that ran Matsuri through with a sword. She received no mercy from me. Did she expect it? Did Matsuri expect me to give her a chance to explain before I killed her? Maybe she did. Maybe she thought I was just her imagination gone bad. She looked upset when I first saw her. Was she thinking about returning and begging for forgiveness? Would Gaara have granted it if she had?

I choked on a sob and bowed my head.

I pray she can forgive me.

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