I didn't reach over 200 views, WE did. I literally have the biggest smile on my face as I type this. Not only has this reached Twitter apparently, but you guys have given me tons of reviews and I cannot thank you enough! You are so amazing and I appreciate every single review, opinion and suggestion you leave. It means SO MUCH. I couldn't have done it without you guys. I really wanted to post Chapter 11 right away in case our internet gets shut down because, I'm going to be honest with you guys since you all have been nothing but honest with me, we haven't paid our bill yet. Blegh. That's my life. But it's all good, this too shall pass. So here is Chapter 11 for all of you lovelies...
What amazes me is how I'm able to sleep that night. My body is worn out. My bones feel weary. My heart feels sore. Technology can do wonders. One click of a button, one little word, send, can change everything. That night I have no reoccurring dreams, no reminisces of the past. I wish I could have gone back in time and warned myself, wish I could have whispered early words of comfort that everything was going to be okay, that this wasn't going to be just another cliche romance with your best friend.
If only I had known there would be this many obstacles.
My phone is ringing and beeping constantly. The sounds and pings come one after another, a never ending string of plastic pitches. I should be getting out of bed right about now, brushing my teeth and going downstairs to eat breakfast, taking my usual shift behind the counter at Sonic Boom. But my body won't seem to let me. I unplug my phone from its charger and scroll through the row of texts.
To: Ally
From: Austin
12:54 am
What?
To: Ally
From: Austin
12:55 am
Ally, I don't understand. What are you trying to say?
To: Ally
From: Austin
12:56 am
Please text me back.
To: Ally
From: Austin
12:57 am
Why won't you pick up your phone? I've been leaving voicemail after voicemail...
To: Ally
From: Austin
12:58 am
I can't read your mind Ally, please tell me what's going on.
I sigh, clicking on my voicemail inbox and pressing the speaker to my ear.
"Hey Ally, I got your text... I don't... I mean, what... I don't understand. Was this for Elliot? Did you text me by accident? Call me back, please."
"Ally, come on, pick up your phone. I don't know what to do here, I can't sleep unless you tell me what that text meant. Call me back."
"Ally, I'm seriously going to bust through your window if you don't call me back. This text is driving me nuts, I need to know. Call me back."
The voicemails continued to blur together, all with the same line and the same frantic intonation of "Call me back, please." In some strange way I felt relieved.
I had sent the text. Eight words, eleven syllables, one sentence that was clearly causing him chaos. Maybe it was time he got a taste of his own medicine. I had stayed up many nights, tossing and turning, not being able to sleep because the thought of him was enough to drive me insane. Maybe now it was his turn.
On the other hand, he was a guy. Guys tended to pick up on things slowly and carefully, almost as if they treated everything with caution. But my sentence had been quite the opposite of fragile. It had said what I needed to say. If he didn't understand that, then I wasn't sure how else I could possibly further elaborate it for him.
A soft knock came at my door. I was still snuggled up in bed, the blankets tucked all the way up to my chin. I felt like I was wrapped in my own little cocoon. The door opened and my dad stood, staring at me with concerned eyes.
"Ally, honey, Austin is here to see you," he whispered.
"Tell him to go away," I croaked, pulling the blankets fully over my head.
He left another voicemail.
"Ally, you can't hide from me forever."
Wanna bet?
It's Sunday now. I've managed to get up at least once or twice, just to use the bathroom and get something to eat from downstairs in the kitchen. My dad still holds the same worried expression, but he doesn't question why I'm holing myself up in my room. He probably knows that it's about Austin.
I guess the word has spread because Trish calls me, too.
"Hello?" I grunt.
"Thank God you picked up the phone. Austin has been nagging me non-stop about your text! You sent it?" she asked.
"Yeah," I sighed.
"Well why?!" she yelled.
"Because."
"Can you clarify that statement a little more?"
"No."
She sighs. "Ally, don't play the one word game with me right now. I'm on your side, remember? I'm just trying to help you."
My eyes brim with tears. "Maybe I'm going nuts," I murmured. "To think I even had a chance with him... it's stupid."
"It's not stupid," she softly replied. "God, I hate hearing you say these things. That's it, I'm coming over whether you like it or not."
"Trish-"
"No buts! I'm coming, and I'm bringing a dart board with Austin's face on it and ice cream and a shit ton of feminist movies because you don't need a man to make you happy!"
I made a strange sound and realized it was laughter. Mechanical laughter, but it was a start. "Okay," I said, giving in.
Giggles were continuously streaming out of my lungs as I aimed at Austin's forehead, the dart held steadily in one hand. I threw it, landing on his cheek.
"Close enough," Trish chuckled. I grinned, sighing and flopping onto my bed. I looked over at the empty ice cream container on my desk. We had spooned it to death and finished the entire carton while watching The Heat.
Sandra Bullock was my new hero.
"So," Trish said, pulling the darts out of Austin's face, "how are you feeling?"
I shrugged my shoulders. "Better than how I was feeling these past two days," I admitted. "Thank you."
And I truly meant it. If it weren't for Trish, I'd still be wallowing and rotting away in my bed wasting tears over someone who had never cried for me.
"Are you ready to go to school tomorrow?" she asked, lying down next to me.
I bit my lip. "I don't know," I whispered. "I'm not ready to see him. How am I supposed to avoid someone who knows me too well? He'll find me eventually."
"Well you can't run away from him forever, Ally," she reminded me. I groaned.
"Why not?" I pleaded, getting up from my bed as I began to pace back and forth. "Why can't I just leave, move to another state, move to another world?"
She chuckled, shaking her head. "Because that's a fantasy. Good thing I'm here to bring you back to reality."
"Party pooper." I pouted and let out a small laugh as I threw a pillow at her.
So far the coast had been clear. I had woken up extra early and had my dad drive me to school so that I could avoid an awkward car ride with Austin. I had managed to hide in the girl's bathroom with Trish during brunch and lunch.
"He's looking for you," she'd hissed, handing me my usual burger and fries.
And now, it was the end of the day. I had made it through an entire school day without seeing him. Mission accomplished. I sighed in relief as I spun the dial on my locker, grabbing a few books and mentally making sure I hadn't forgotten any homework assignments.
"Ally."
I froze.
Busted, the sneaky voice whispered in my mind. I gulped, debating on whether I should turn around. I took a deep breath and bolted, running as fast as I could.
"Ally, wait!" he called, and I was running out of oxygen as my legs took off at lightning speed. The campus was nearly empty since the school day was over. Even Trish had already departed with Dez. I longed to be in his weird mini blue convertible, anywhere but here, anywhere but this moment that I didn't want to face. A strong hand roughly pulled my back, swinging me around and leaving me no other choice but to come face to face with him. My eyes quickly averted themselves to the ground.
Now would have been a good time to be abducted by aliens.
"I've been looking for you everywhere," he huffed.
I imagined my mouth was sewn shut, like Coraline. Perhaps soon I would have buttons for eyes.
"We need to talk," he said. I continued to stare at the ground. A leaf daintily danced along the earth, and I followed it with my eyes as it moved its way towards the office.
Take me with you, I thought.
His finger placed itself underneath my chin, tilting my face up towards his. There were those chestnut eyes, that soft expression he usually wore when he was frustrated, his hair discernibly tangled from combing it constantly with his fingers, something he did when he was hurting.
I searched his eyes for words to say but nothing came to mind.
"Say something," he murmured. "Talk to me. Hit me. Slap me. Whatever it takes, I-"
I smacked him hard across the face as his eyes flew wide in surprise. A small, angry red hand print began to form on his cheek. I slapped him again. Then I punched his chest, then his arm, then his shoulder. Tears began to stream out of my eyes as I sobbed.
"Hit you, slap you, whatever it takes," I wailed, repeating his words bitterly. "You don't think I haven't told myself to stop? That I haven't thought 'Ally, you're stupid. Don't fall for your best friend.' You think I haven't lost sleep over thoughts of you?"
His face was shocked, his eyes becoming too painful to look at.
"I've tried, Austin, believe me. But one text... one call... that's all it takes to make me come back to you. My heart gives in too easily when I'm around you, and it hurts too much because I know that yours is already taken. Because I know that all you see when you look at me is some girl," I snapped.
He shook his head. "That's not true," he breathed.
"Isn't it?" I asked, biting my lip as salty tears stung my cheeks, leaving trails of sorrow down my face. "Why didn't you see me before you saw her?" I turned around, not having the strength to look at him, my shoulders heaving as another sob escaped my throat. "It's because she's pretty, right? She's perfect."
His hand cupped itself around my waist as he turned me around to face him. His brows were turned down, his mouth in a frown. "Is that how you look at me?" he asked. "Do you really think I'm that shallow? That all I look for in a girl is appearance?"
I shoved him away from me, gasping for air. "Because it's the truth!" I screamed. "Your eyes fall in love first, Austin." I felt a crack inside my chest. "No matter how shallow it may seem, that's how it works. Yes, I love you! Yes, I've felt this way for a long time! Are you happy now?"
He shook his head. "No."
I blinked in confusion.
"No, because you're angry with me. No, because I'm angry with myself." His voice was shaking now, and it made me long for a fast forward button just so I could figure out what he was trying to say faster. "Ally, I-"
"Austin!" a voice squealed, and I looked up at Kira running excitedly towards him, wrapping him in a big hug. He stood still, not replying to her body language. Another crack erupted in my chest. "Great news! My dad loved your demo! He's going to sign you!" Kira turned around to look at me and her face fell. "Ally? What's-"
I ran, ran until my lungs were on fire, ran until my face turned dry and the tears were engraved in the cracks of my skin, ran until the ground seemed to melt into my heels. The words were out. And as much as my mind and heart were jumbled up right now, Austin had been right about one thing.
I couldn't hide from him forever.
"What have you done to her?" Elliot cried. We were slowly beginning to not need our scripts anymore. I still had mine's in hand as a crutch, just in case.
"Now Ally, I need you to cry in this scene," Miss Lu declared. "Do you think you can do that?"
I numbly nodded. Ten minutes ago, I had confessed to Austin. Ten minutes ago, the words I love you had escaped my mouth.
"Let's run through it again!" Miss Lu shouted and everyone jumped into their positions. Elliot shot me a distraught look. My puffy eyes were an obvious sign to a crying session. I had brushed it off, lying that I had allergies to the grass. Of course he'd disdainfully looked at me with accusing eyes and decided to leave it alone... for now.
"What have you done to her?" Elliot repeated with just as much emotion.
"You don't need her," Priscilla, who played one of the atrocious characters that despised Ariel, hissed. "How could you ever want someone like her? Look at her! She's pitiful. Invisible. A nothing."
Her words bit into me deeper than I expected and the tears slid easily.
Pitiful.
Invisible.
Nothing.
"Or do you have an opinion, Ariel?" Priscilla mocked, since Ariel was forbidden to speak. I looked up at her through rainy eyes. "She's mute, too. What a joke."
Oh, Priscilla. I've been anything but mute today, trust me.
Homework can wait. I decide to visit the beach to clear my thoughts. The waves bring me back to a time when things were simpler, when all there was between Austin and I was the shining sun and the hot sand. Summer. A time when things had been better, happier, easier.
I dipped my toes lightly into the freezing water and I instantly thought of how cold it had felt when Austin had dragged both of us in and under. A shiver ran through my spine just thinking about it. A loud thud made my head snap up and I spotted a large group of boys running in my direction. I gulped. They looked not much older than me, perhaps in college.
One of them, a dark haired one, spotted me and began whispering to his friends, who all nodded their heads and laughed loudly. An uneasy feeling began to settle into my stomach, and I turned around to make my way back home, but their sudden shouts made me stiffen.
"Hey, where are you going?" one of them shouted. I made my limbs move faster, but soon they all crowded around me. My hands began to shake in fear. I smelled alcohol on their breath as they moved in closer, like a pack of wolves. The dark haired boy harshly placed a hand on my shoulder, and I shoved it away in anger. They hooted in laughter. I felt sick.
"That wasn't very nice," one of them cackled, leaning in closer to me. I screamed as he suddenly was knocked down to the ground by someone. One of the boys tried to pick me up but I kicked him and he collapsed in pain. The other boys ran off, and the dark haired one shoved me into the waves. My yells could not be heard as I swallowed seawater, my throat choking. A familiar pair of strong arms pulled me out, and it didn't matter that my eyes were burning from the sudden cold water. I would know these hands anywhere. I could make out the familiar pattern of his palm lines, the fact that his thumb held a rough callus from basketball practice, and not to mention how his hands were much bigger than mine.
I coughed almost violently, my lungs wheezing for air. I winced as I tried to move my shoulder, assuming that the dark haired boy must have left a nasty bruise after gripping onto me so tightly. Once I caught my breath, I opened my mouth to speak.
"How did you know I'd be here?" I asked, looking up at Austin.
"You always come here when you need to think," he chuckled softly, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "The thing is, so do I."
"Oh." Silence lapsed around us, and I looked up to observe his cheek, the angry red mark still present. "Sorry."
"It's okay. I deserved it," he sighed, wrapping an arm around me. I let myself mold into him, ignoring my mind and focusing only on my heart. "Ally, I-"
"Don't," I whispered, pulling away from him so that I could look at his face properly. "I should've told you sooner... I just... It was hard to."
He shook his head, and I noticed his eyes slightly welling up. "I'm so sorry," he managed to choke out. "For putting you through that... Why didn't you say anything?"
I let out a bitter laugh. "You know me. Ally the Martyr."
"It's not funny," he mumbled, his eyes fighting away the threatening tears. I frowned and cupped a hand around his face.
"Hey," I murmured as he looked up at me. "Maybe it's not okay now... but you're still my best friend. That's never going to change."
He nodded as he squeezed my hand, helping me up and taking off his jacket, placing it around my shoulders. "Let's get you some ice for that shoulder."
And as we walked back to my house, as we talked and laughed, as I wore his jacket around my shoulders, I realized that maybe it wasn't letting him go that I needed to do. Maybe it was embracing him, because the truth is, I could never let go of my best friend.
Trumpets blared as I exited the house, walking towards Shelby. I laughed and rolled my eyes, pulling the zipper of my jacket up higher to keep away the morning breeze.
"What is this silliness?" I questioned him.
He grinned, eager to answer my question. He waved his phone in my face cheerfully. "It's an Instrument App. You deserve a symphony every time you enter or exit an area," he replied. I rolled my eyes. He had promised me that he things were going to change. My confession had suddenly triggered something in him, and what it was I wasn't quite sure of yet, but it was something.
"This is really unnecessary, Austin," I sighed, stepping inside and taking my place in the passenger seat.
"Ally," he said, his tone turning serious as he stared straight into my eyes. "I'm going to make it up to you."
I gulped and nodded. My heart felt itself flutter again. I was honestly just relieved that my confession hadn't ruined our friendship or made things awkward. I might have slapped him and punched every inch of him, but I still loved him. And he knew that now. We had a long talk last night once we reached my house.
"So you love me," he'd murmured, pressing the ice carefully against my shoulder.
"So I love you," I'd repeated, biting my lip anxiously. He sighed.
"Why?" he'd asked.
I blushed. "You don't want to know."
His eyebrows had risen in confusion, making me blush even harder. He cleared his throat. "You're still my best friend, Ally."
For some strange reason, those two words didn't hurt so much anymore. Maybe it was the fact that he finally knew how I really felt about him. "I know," I said.
"And I care about you more than anything else in this universe. I would dodge a bullet for you and punch a group of rapists for you," he hissed, brushing his fingers lightly against my shoulder. "But-"
"Austin, you don't have to give me the just friends speech," I sighed, surprised at how comfortable this conversation was. The confession had been painful, but the after effect seemed... simpler. My walls were down. There was nothing to hide anymore. A large weight had been lifted off my chest.
Now it was his turn to blush. "I was going to say 'but I'm going to make it up to you.'"
I blinked. "What?"
"I'm going to be a better best friend," he'd declared triumphantly. "I'm going to make you feel happy, even if I can't love you the way you love me. I don't want to make you feel sad anymore."
I had giggled at how ridiculous it all sounded. "Austin," I laughed, but he cut me off.
"I'm serious," he stated. "It's my turn now." I remembered smiling.
Now in the pick up truck, he turned on the radio and stared at me, smiling as he turned down the volume. My eyebrows rose in amusement. Austin Moon, lowering the volume of his music for me? Maybe turning the reigns over to him wasn't such a bad thing.
Oh my freaking gosh, tell me why I wanted to cry while writing this chapter?! And I'M the one writing it. My emotions are all over the place today, goodness gracious. In case you didn't understand the time flow of this chapter, Ally basically spent an awful weekend moping over Austin. When she confesses, it's Monday. Anyways, don't forget to leave a review to let me know how I'm doing and to leave your awesome opinions (or bad, I welcome all), or tweet me. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, sorry if it was too sad, but I really tried to place myself in Ally's shoes and tried to imagine what could have happened next. I know for sure I wouldn't have jumped into Austin's arms, I'd have felt really hurt, so what better way than to make Austin work to make Ally happy again... who knows, maybe he'll fall for her along the way... Wink wink. What would you guys have done or felt if you were in Ally's place, let me know, I'd love to hear it! THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH, SENDING A MILLION VIRTUAL HUGS AND SINGING HAPPILY.