Another entry - in which the men will be separated from the boys!

Hope it makes you giggle. :)

Entry #33: Camping Trip [or, "The Hike of Death"]

When the Avengers arrived at the end of the bumpy, dusty road, and Natasha had parked the car, they all sat there for a moment, wondering at the silence. There was no traffic. No busy streets. No stoplights or neon signs. Just a few birds chirping in the distance.

"Well, then," Natasha finally unbuckled her seatbelt and hopped out of the driver's side, slamming the door. "Let's start unpacking, shall we?"

Thor, Tony, Steve, and Clint all piled out of the van.

"What, so are we just gonna set up camp here?" Tony asked hopefully.

"No. We have to hike to our campsite, remember?" Natasha reminded him, heading around to the back of the van and opening the hatch. She found herself face-to-face with Loki, who had turned around in the backseat and was glaring silently at her. "What are you waiting for?" she scolded him. "Get out and help us carry this stuff!"

Once Loki had slid out of the van, Natasha began handing out backpacks and water bottles, barking orders like a drill sergeant. "Alright! Steve, I'm sorry, but you and Thor get to carry the tents, plus your sleeping bags and backpacks. Everybody else will carry their own stuff. Got it? No, no, that's mine. Yeah, that one. Steve? Steve, come back here! We're not leaving yet!"

Loki was standing off to one side, watching the entire spectacle and looking somewhat amused until Natasha threw a backpack and a rolled-up sleeping bag at him. "Catch!" she shouted.

Loki didn't move. They fell to the dirt several feet away. He raised an eyebrow at her, but the SHIELD agent was obviously not in the mood for games. "Pick 'em up and start walking!" demanded Nat, shouldering her own backpack, and beginning to ascend the tiny little dirt trail that lay before them.

Steve went ahead of her, loaded down like a pack mule but cheerfully whistling "The Stars and Stripes Forever" as he marched up the pathway.

Loki tentatively picked up the backpack by one strap and held it out in front of him, examining it as if it were something toxic, or perhaps simply a mortal object unworthy of being touched by His Majesty.

Tony brought up the rear, carrying his backpack, his sleeping bag, and several additional suitcases that looked rather heavy. "Hurry up Reindeer Games…" he panted, striding up the trail. "Or do you feel like eating my dust?"

Loki glared over his shoulder at the narcissistic Avenger, and increased his pace.

They were only ten minutes into the hike when Tony asked for a breather.

"What on earth did you bring all those extra bags for, Tony?" asked Natasha as she unscrewed the lid on her water bottle. She took a long drink and then continued, "This is a camping trip. We're roughing it."

"Not me," wheezed Tony, setting the suitcases down with a thump and wiping sweat from his forehead.

"What exactly did you bring?" Clint inquired, raising his eyebrows at the heavy load Tony had decided to lug all the way to the campsite.

"A battery operated radio/JARVIS/alarm-clock, a memory foam mattress pillow, Mark VII, three rechargeable lamps, two flashlights, my electric toothbrush, two bottles of cologne, a comb, my modified earpiece communicator set, some other appliances I can't actually live without, eight packages of M&M's, two bags of Doritos, and some metal rods for roasting marshmallows. I refuse to use sticks. That's unhygienic!"

Clint's eyebrows went up a little higher. "Wow… but I don't think you'll be able to use your electric toothbrush. You can't just plug it into a tree to recharge it, you know."

"Alright, time to go," barked Natasha, shouldering her backpack again and continuing the trek.

Tony heaved a sigh, gathering up all of his equipment, and continued to trot along at the back of the pack.

A little over an hour later, they had reached the campsite.

It was excellent timing, because Tony looked about ready to pass out. He simply dropped his suitcases, let the load slide off his back, and collapsed on the grass with a muffled grunt.

Clint and Natasha looked ready to hike another ten miles, but they happily put down their backpacks and sat down to take another drink.

Thor and Steve put the tents in the middle of the campsite. Steve grinned, holding up one of the rolled-up tents and several of the poles. "This'll be fun! I can put up a tent with my eyes closed."

"Things may have changed slightly since the last time you went camping," Nat reminded him, but Steve shrugged off her gentle warning and went about his business.

Clint slapped his arm and made a face. "Uh, Nat? You bring any mosquito repellant?"

Natasha immediately reached into her backpack and whipped out a bottle, tossing it to Clint. He thanked her and immediately stood up and began spraying himself.

Loki was standing off to one side next to his abandoned backpack and sleeping bag, irritably brushing insects away from his face and bared arms. For some reason, they seemed to like him better than anyone else. Thor appeared to be having the same problem.

"Maybe Asgardian blood tastes better!" Clint suggested cheerfully.

Loki appeared horrified. "These creatures… they drink one's blood?!"

"Of course! Don't you have mosquitoes in Asgard?" asked Clint.

"We most certainly do not!" Loki asserted, swiping one of the foul little beasts away from his face.

Right about then Steve called out, "Since when do tents have an entryway?!"

Tony got up and meandered over to the supersoldier. "Didn't they always? Here, let me help you with that," he offered, taking a stray tent pole from Steve and getting down on his knees.

Steve stared at Tony. "But you didn't read the instructions."

Tony snorted. "Who needs instructions? I can assemble this tent better than the manufacturers ever could."

True to his word, Tony worked together with Steve, and they managed to put up all the tents in less than half an hour.

"Bravo, boys," Natasha commented as she walked past. "Alright. I'm going to start the fire. Who wants hot dogs for dinner? I brought—"

"Wait, wait!" Tony quickly got to his feet and hurried over. "Can I light the fire?"

Natasha glared at him for a moment. "Not after that incident in Clint's office, you can't. I wouldn't trust you within fifty feet of a match, let alone a lighter."

Tony looked so let down that Natasha finally relented. Miraculously, he did not explode anything, and managed to get the fire started in under thirty seconds - which was amazing, considering the fact that he'd only used a traditional lighter once or twice in his life. Natasha admitted that she was impressed, and Tony looked rather smug.

"As I was saying… who wants hot dogs?"

A chorus of "ME"s rang out in the clearing. Loki just glanced at Natasha with a slightly disturbed expression on his face. "Why would I want a dog?"

"A hot dog," Clint tried to clarify, smirking. "You know, something you eat?"

"It's not an actual dog," Natasha hurried to add. "It's… I don't actually know why it's called that, but they're very good. Would you like one?"

Disgusted that he was once again being forced to accept pathetic mortal culinary endeavors, Loki nodded anyway, hoping these "hot dogs" would be better than Stark's deep-fried hamburgers, and then retreated to a far corner of the clearing. He had tried to tuck his shirt into his jeans, but everything was a bit too big for the demigod, including the hiking boots Bruce had lent him; he now had blisters on both feet, which only further soured his outlook on life…

Thanks so much for all the support you've given me these last few days!

You're the best...

~Alassiel