Hello all!
Merry Another Year! This year is the Year of the Fandoms with plenty of sequels and movie adaptions to be released in the space of 12 months so yay! I hope you all had splendid holidays.
Rambling is my weakness.
TMI is copyrighted to Cassandra Clare. The plotline, ideas and craziness belongs to me. Cheers.
I never saw his face. He always walked ahead of me, dragging me along in a heated grip through the cane field with urgency; the plants brushed against my hypersensitive skin like fingertips to hot skin. I saw, however, the interweaving shades of grey in his shirt, the light shining like halo as it hit his hair and the scorch marks he left on the ground with his bare feet and circling my wrists from his never-yielding grip.
I didn't understand why I didn't struggle from him. The burns didn't cause me pain but seemed to make me instead...they were a part of me, I thought; marks of won battles not entrapment and suffering. I felt at peace with the hurried pace; the dirt felt at home between my toes and the warm sun on my face, welcome.
I also didn't understand why I was dressed in pyjamas but hey, nobody else seemed to be minding.
He suddenly stopped in front of me and I ran into him from behind. He circled around to catch me before I stumbled backwards, his firm grip leaving burns along the tops of my shoulders but I felt nothing but ease despite my scorching flesh. The sun still shone on his face in that way that I couldn't distinguish his facial features bar his smirk but that's all it took for desire to curl in my stomach and move downwards.
I couldn't help it. I had to know who he was.
I reached up, my hands wandering over his chest and up to cup his set jaw, the slight stubble prickling my fingertips. His hands responded: one travelled up to smooth my hair back behind my ear, settling on my neck while the other slid up and down my back, brushing my vertebrae in a soothing gesture. I relaxed into his stance, enjoying his light ministrations.
Something shifted though. I could feel the fear like a prickling sensation…like you felt when someone's eyes were burning holes into the back of your skull. I looked up at the boy and he smiled down at me through the sunlight and bent to whisper in my ear, my eyelashes brushing his cheekbones as he did.
"You can't outrun everyone, insecure child of Morgenstern. Your heart is mine."
His words sent ice through my veins. I opened my eyes to see golden ones shining back at me, a familiar triumphant look upon his face.
"No," I whispered, my voice hoarse like I hadn't drunk in days, but he chuckled at my feeble response. Sliver glinted to my right and I gasped as the knife pierced my skin, sliding under my ribcage toward my most vital organ. I looked down at the knife stuck in my body. There was no pain, only surprise as the life blood trickled out from the wound. I pulled the knife from my body easily as if my flesh were made from butter and held it in my open palms. My warm blood dripped between my fingers to the dirt below as I looked up and saw the golden boy ahead of me now standing by a small stream.
"Why…" I gasped. His features were fully visible to me now, like cutting into me had conquered some sort of barrier between us. With his crooked nose and blonde hair familiar to me now as I saw him most days in the waking world, Jace looked on with a wistful smile.
"Maybe now you'll understand," he said, turning away from me and stepping into the stream. Jace pulled his t-shirt up over his head and I caught a glimpse of tanned back, marred by two scars running down his shoulder blades resembling an upside-down V. He descended into the water without looking back at me, leaving me to ponder over the knife in my hands and the scars desecrating his perfect body.
The scars so innocently placed where white feathered wings might have grown from.
My eyes flew open and I could feel my body was covered in a light sheen of sweat, my skin sticking to the sheets as my chest rose and fell faster than deemed normal. My fingers were digging into the mattress like claws and the sheets had tangled around my feet at the bottom of the bed.
This wasn't the first time my pulse's tempo had skyrocketed during sleep. Especially after my mum had died, I had been plagued of nightmares of loneliness and avenging acts that had led to my own death. Seeing your own mother's blood stain your dress, well, sure it's pretty shocking and had I felt like Lady Macbeth for days, washing my hands until the skin had turned raw to try and wash the guilt off them. We weren't the blame for the gunman's motives though, whose words were to me before my mother jumped in front of the shot, "For someone so precious to him, your father doesn't keep you close as he should. An eye for an eye, Miss Morgenstern; my apologies."
I'd changed my last name after that.
I rolled over and snuggled back into my pillow and willed for sleep to come back and ease my hazardous thoughts. I peeped up to look at my alarm clock to check the time…only it wasn't there. I opened my eyes again and took in my surroundings and realised this actually wasn't my room. It was tidy for starters so that should have been the immediate giveaway, but there were no pictures or colour in the room bar the dark blue curtains. The bedspread was solid black and the walls a plain white with a white chest of draws in one corner and a wooden desk in the other with a MacBook sitting atop of it. All the books had been piled neatly in a small set of shelves beside the desk leaving no sight of dysfunction in the room anywhere.
I pulled the covers off me and dangled my feet over the side of the bed and realised I wasn't wearing my own clothes. Instead I was wearing a massive navy t-shirt over my boyshorts and I repressed a shudder at the fact I had taken off my bra as well. I crossed my arms over my chest, self-conscious over the fact I didn't actually know where I was, why I was here or why I was half naked under somebody else's shirt. One night stands were something I never aspired to be a part of and I hoped on all that was holy that I hadn't forgotten that last night.
All I could remember from last night was Maia dragging me off to some party and getting awfully drunk at a table with a lot of people surrounding it. I may have even possibly walked in on someone in the bathroom doing something illegal but that memory was as hazy as everyone's faces around that table I sat at last night. I frowned. I remembered falling asleep in armchair but that was as far as I got.
I shook my head and slid off the bed to my feet to go in search of a glass of water to cure my aching throat. I opened the bedroom door hesitantly and tip-toed down the hall in where I hoped the kitchen was. The kitchen veered off about half way down the hall and was devoid of any life force as well. Was I up early or did someone just leave me here?
I searched through the cupboards along the far wall for the glasses. I felt odd not knowing the layout of a kitchen like the back of my hand but I guess foreign new places do that to you. I eventually found the correct cupboard and pulled out a plastic Spiderman cup. Mature household, I approve. I leaned over the sink as filled the cup and relished the cool water running down my throat. Whoever said that nectar was the drink of the gods clearly hasn't been drunk before or been desperate for water.
"Hey, that's my cup Clary!" an indignant voice said behind me. I whipped around, gripping the bench edging and relaxed when I saw who had spoken.
Max Lightwood stood in the doorway of the kitchen, his too-big glasses askew on his nose and dressed in red flannel pyjamas. I cocked my head to the side and crossed my arms, smiling at the small boy. I'd practically grown up with this kid and now at 15 years of age, he hadn't quite hit his growth spurt yet and was small for his age but he managed to still pip me at the post…not that I liked to admit it.
"Spiderman, Max? Really? You should really leave the hot cartoon characters to tall people like me," I said, putting the cup in the dishwasher.
"If I didn't know you better Clary, I would have said you only liked him because of Andrew Garfield but, hey, opinions change when a short woman takes you to your first comic book store," Max says, chuckling. I rolled my eyes and moved forward to hug him. Max had always been the most compassionate of the Lightwood brood not that I would ever tell Izzy that. He returned my hug with a tight squeeze, lifting me off my feet and put me back on the floor.
I paused and thought for a moment. "Max, what are you doing here? Actually, where is here?"
He grinned. "You're at Alec's apartment. Honestly I'm surprised you're even coherent this morning. Jace dragged you in at some ungodly hour this morning practically passed out you were so wasted."
My jaw dropped. "Shit, I didn't…did I?" How could I just let myself be charmed by Jace and have him bring me home like some cheap whore?
Max laughed. "He slept in Alec's room last night not with you Clary, but your expression was worth the moment of worry!" He slapped his hand down on the bench and moved further into the kitchen, pulling out a bowl and a box of cereal. He reached for a small box shoved up against various kitchen appliances and shook out the day's medication. I watched on sympathetically as he threw them back dry and closed the box back up again, sliding it back to the wall.
"How is everything these days anyway Max? You're not looking as tired as you used to be at least," I said, coming over to stand beside him at the counter. He looked down at me with a tight smile and I leaned my head on his shoulder and wrapped a hand over his arm.
"You know, still popping meds. Doctor Feel-good has put me on new ones for the epilepsy that adjust more to my apparent raging hormones. The morning insulin injections are still a bitch but I can't do anything about that. I got caught out a month ago with low blood sugar in the middle of the exam hall. Mum and Dad weren't too pleased to be called away from work, but I'm glad they still care even if they don't show it often. They've had to be more…accommodating to my care now that Izzy has moved out, which is good I guess."
I felt him sigh and turned and nuzzled his shoulder with my nose. "You don't deserve this shit, Max."
He snorted and grinned down at me, "But Clary, I was the accident child. Of course I'm going to have something wrong with me."
"Yeah, like a bad taste in breakfast cereals," I snickered, "Who even eats bran? Isn't it like cardboard or something? I've avoided it at all costs for that very rumour."
Max poured the said bran into his bowl and chuckled. "At least I'm not addicted to coffee. Isn't that stuff supposed to give you the runs?" I stepped back and crossed my arms and pouted at him. He grinned and wandered over to the fridge to retrieve the carton of milk.
"Anyway, I've got to get going. I have work later today so I gotta find my stuff. I'll see you before I head off," I said, sighing.
"Ah the glorious perks of living out of home!" Max said, throwing his hands in the air. I punched him in the arm and walked out of the kitchen. "Nice underwear by the way, Clary!" He called after me and my hands immediately went to pull down the hem of the shirt as I walked down the hall.
I re-entered Jace's room to see if my clothes were on the floor but no luck there. Bathroom, perhaps? I walked back out into the hall only to collide with the owner of the room I'd stayed in himself.
In his full shirtless glory.
This was the type of torso artists were inspired by to make great works of art, like David or La Promessa. One that caused ovaries to explode; One that swoony girls like me could just stare at….oh my god, I was staring. I snapped my eyes up to his to find them sparkling with amusement. I mentally winced.
"Uh, hi?" I murmured, running a hand through my hair. Anyone would have thought that I was mentally incapable of holding a conversation if they hadn't known me better.
Jace grinned. "Hi there. I'm surprised to see you alive this early to be completely frank with you. Do you even remember what happened last night?"
I pouted at his remark. Truthfully, I didn't remember half of it but my pride couldn't handle letting him getting the better of me. It was bad enough that he'd taken mercy on me and taken me back to his place. "More than enough to get by thank you very much. Now if you don't mind, I'd like my clothes back please so I can leave and go to work."
He crossed his arms, covering that delicious chest of his. "I don't have them. You left them somewhere that you should remember as you took them off last night."
I grimaced. Of course I didn't know and he knew it, the bastard. "So I may be slightly fuzzy in that section of the night, okay?"
He smirked. "They're still in the bathroom from where I had to force you to change before you really did pass out" he said, gesturing down the hall, "so you really don't remember anything, like walking home last night or anything?" His face looked strangely wistful for once. That was new.
"No, and I need to go get changed already so if you don't mind…" I said, exasperatedly. I squished past him and continued down the hall towards the bathroom so I could get out of here and clear my head. The sheer amount of Jace in my life currently was ridiculous. All I wanted to do was go back to the time where I only had to deal with seeing his ridiculously good-looking mug twice a year so my ovaries could get a hold of themselves.
That'd be nice.
"Clary, you little hoe!" Isabelle exclaimed, banging her take-away coffee cup on the bar table that ran along one of the walls at Java Jones. I rolled my eyes at her and Maia, who were both shaking with laughter after I had regaled the story of my morning to them. They had both come in after I had clocked off work about half an hour ago to quiz me on my apparent one night stand. Turns out they got more than bargained for, gossip-wise.
"Man, what I wouldn't give for a wake-up call like that. I mean, Jordan is fantastic and all but Jace at minimum half-naked? Uh, my panties!" Maia said, fanning herself with the menu card.
Izzy chuckled. "Speaking of one night stands, Maia, perhaps we should be calling you the hoe?"
"Oh honey, you have no idea. I'm not settling on a one-nighter with this boy. Jace may have the finer chest but I doubt he could compete with Jordan's manhood," she said, giggling and covering her eyes with one hand. Izzy burst out laughing again and I just put my face in my hands to stifle my own chuckles.
"Regardless, when are you seeing Jace again, Clary? I mean, you've already got in into his bed, why not the pants?" Maia said. I rolled my eyes smiling. Trust her to make a joke out of my confused feelings.
"Maia, I'm not going to sleep with him. I don't even plan on seeing him any time soon, he just keeps cropping up unexpectedly. I'm surprised he even had the decency to try and take me back to my place last night and not just leave me at the party passed out," I said, leaning back into my chair. Well that's what I told myself but I wasn't so sure any more that Jace was, more or less, the bad guy in my life story but I had to stay true to myself. The animosity I'd always had concerning Jace was there for a reason and I wasn't going to forget it, even after a couple nice words.
"He has been awfully nice which is weird for him. Maybe you should give him a chance, Clary?" Izzy suggested. I waved her off and finished off the last of my coffee instead of answering her. I didn't want to admit that there was a part of me that did want to give him a chance but I was just too proud.
"Anyway Izzy, how did your date go last night? I'm yet to hear how cute nerds suit your fancy," I said. She blushed and bowed her head. It wasn't often Isabelle Lightwood became embarrassed so when it happened, you knew something was up.
Maia giggled and nudged Izzy in the ribs. "Come on, spill to your besties."
Izzy looked up and brushed her of her face, asserting a straight face. "Simon and I had a really nice time. He took me to some boutique café and then we walked around Central Park and then he brought me home. Simplicity at its best, really."
"But did you do the nasty?" Maia blurted out. Classic Maia, cutting to the chase. Izzy swated Maia's arm.
"Of course we didn't! You know Simon as well as I do that he'd never go as far as that on a first date," Izzy said indignantly. I rolled my eyes again. You could practically hear the 'but' at the end of her sentence.
"But you totally made out, didn't you?" Maia asked.
Izzy giggled. "Of course. You'd be surprised just how good a kisser he is! I'm the same Maia; I'm sticking this one out for a while."
I screwed up my face while Maia laughed into her hands again. "Honestly I can't imagine Simon making out with anyone. The image disturbs me too much," I ramble, "It's like intruding on a sibling getting it on with someone. Only you're both my siblings but not related to each other otherwise that could get dicey real fast…"
Isabelle and Maia just look at me with eyebrows raised and I can't help but burst out laughing. "I'm so happy you both found guys at the same time," I exclaim, smiling broadly, "But seriously, PDA rules will be in put in place for the sake of this third wheel!"
Izzy puts her head on my shoulder. "You'll find someone soon enough."
"Yeah, we can't have you third-wheeling for too long, Clare. Anyway it'd just be rude of us to not wing-man you regardless of our relationship status, so if you're on the prowl we'll come along and point you in the direction of a certain sarcastic golden boy," Maia laughed.
I shook my head at my best friends. They'd never let me live this down, that's for sure.
See you all soon! xx
Bowvs.