Fellow scandal fans! Sorry it took a little longer than expected for this next chapter. How amazing was Thursdays episode though?! I was screaming at my television! But, anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I'm already excited about writing the next one. As always, leave a review! I love getting feedback from you guys. Happy reading!
It was getting dark and Fitz and Olivia had just started their journey to Connecticut. They agreed to meet Mellie for a brunch meeting and decided to make a weekend of it. Fitz managed to rent a nice SUV for the drive, his secret service following in a car behind them. They both had a long week at work and were still unsure what the meeting with Mellie was about. The car was silent for the most part, both of them relaxing and listening to music from the iPod. As she looked out of her window Olivia's thoughts began to mind flashed back to a memory she had of the two of them a while back.
It was a hot sticky evening in Alabama and they had just finished a day of campaigning. Mellie was with the kids back on the west coast which meant that Fitz and Liv had a few days of alone time. The hotel they used for lodging was full of campaign staff but most of them went out to fraternize with the locals at a nearby divebar. Fitz took advantage of this fact and got a hold of an extra key to sneak into Olivias room. Upon entry he was happy to realize that she had just stepped into the shower. He quietly made his way into the bathroom to join her. One quick love session in the shower turned into an all night event of passion.
Hours later they were exhausted, laying together under the comforters with his head resting on her shoulder.
"You always smell good. How do you smell so good all the time?" He grazed his nose against her skin, softly laying a kiss on the side of her breast.
"Mmmm...I don't know. It probably helps that I shower," she joked as her fingers played in his curly hair.
"That's one of my favorite things to do you know."
"You like showers?" She thought that to be a wierd statement.
"Not just showers in general, Liv. I mean I like showers with you."
"Well of course you like showers with me. They usually involve the two of us screaming each others names in pleasure before the water even gets cold." She laughed lightly and began gently scratching the top center if his back.
He shrugged."Yeah, I guess that's true. But I'd be fine with us taking showers and not having sex." His hand began making long strokes along her soft thigh under the blankets.
"Yeah, right." She lazily replied, his soft caress sending her body into a relaxed state. She loved the way he touched her.
"I'm serious Liv. Granted, I can't help but get turned on when you're naked in front of me with soapy warm water dripping down your body." His description caused Olivia to give an airy laugh.
"But, if I could take a shower with you every day, no sex involved, I would. Just think about how intimate that time is. Where else can we be that close together? It's like our own little world, just me and you, down to the barest part of ourselves." He turned his head again, this time to kiss just below her breast, against her ribcage. He laid his head against her stomach.
"It's like it's our time to just be. I don't have to think about running for President and you don't have to think about being a campaign fixer. Its just us. Me and you. Fitz an Liv...I love that. That's all I ever want with you. Forever." His nose lightly grazed her skin more as he lifted himself higher so that they could switch positions and Olivia could be wrapped in his arms.
"Forever..." Liv responded softly. She both loved and hated when he spoke like that. Forever with Fitz would be a dream come true. But the idea of them pursuing a legitimate relationship seemed like an impossibility. She knew that he and Mellie were in a dead marriage but she couldnt help feel the guilt of sleeping with another womans husband. Forever didnt seem realistic, it WASNT realistic. But Fitz continually assured her that one day they would be together, exclusive, and devoted to only each other.
The lights and large interstate signs on the highway brought Olivia out of her memory daze.
"How ya doing over there baby girl?" Fitz said, causing Olivia to fully bring her mind back to present day. He lightly put his hand on top of hers as it rested on the center console. Their fingers intertwined gently and Liv could only smile at that sight.
"You okay? You're not falling asleep on me are you?" His eyes remained on the road but he tried to turn his head to get a look at her.
"Nope. I'm up." Her faint smile wasn't enough to convince Fitz.
"You're a terrible liar. You're falling asleep. My co-pilot is falling asleep." He teased her and gave her fingers a little extra squeeze.
"Liv, really you should rest. We still have some time before we get there. Catch a couple Z's. Seriously."
"Okay, but if you want me to drive or help keep you awake I can."
He lifted her hand to kiss her soft brown skin.
"Love you babe. I'll wake you up when we get there."
With that, Olivia allowed herself to get comfortable in her chair and relax. She knew that she wouldn't fully be able to fall asleep but she took advantage of the time to rest a little before they saw Mellie.
The iPod playing in the SUV was one of Fitz's favorite songs. He lightly hummed to the tune, lowly so that he wouldn't disturb Olivia. As she dozed off she thought about the first time she heard him hum that very song.
"Come on Liv, you don't have to be fancy. Just throw some clothes on." He stood at her cabin doorway and hummed a Stevie Wonder song to himself.
"Fitz, where are you taking me?" She said from the bathroom where she was finishing getting ready.
"Don't worry about it, just come on."
Moments later they were on a trail on the vast property surrounding Camp David. He was holding her hand, and humming the same song that he was earlier. She was too tired to ask why he kept humming it.
"Just c'mon Liv. Trust me, okay?"
"You wake me up at the crack of dawn. I've been working my ass off since the moment I arrived here at Camp David. Not to mention, despite my promise to myself, you got some yesterday. Actually a little MORE than SOME. And now you drag me out of bed and expect me to follow you, in the woods..."
All Fitz could do was widely smile as she trailed on and on about how much she DIDN'T want to be walking in the woods with him at that moment. Finally they reached their destination and Olivia immediately stopped walking and talking.
"Fitz," she said almost breathless her eyes as wide as saucers.
"C'mon." He grabbed her by the hand and led the way to the full blanket picnic he had setup at the end of the trail. It looked like the perfect setup, in the perfect part of the woods, with the perfect meal prepared waiting for them.
He helped her get situated on the large thin sheet that lay above the grass. They both sat for a moment and stared at one another lovingly. Liv moved herself closely to Fitz and kissed his cheek. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her head. They sat for a moment holding one another as Fitz laid himself back on the sheet, bringing Olivia with him. The two of them laid together silently for a moment, enjoying the crisp morning air and the sounds of nature.
"You know what today is Liv?"
Her faced showed that she was confused.
"Guess not," he laughed a little, slightly nervous. His arm that was wrapped around her gave a little pull closer to him.
"On this very day, many, many moons ago, you, Olivia Carolyn Pope, came into my life and turned it completely upside down. And I haven't recovered since." His light tone was followed by a smile as she looked up into his electric grey eyes. Her heart melted at his thoughtfulness and obvious love for her.
"You remember? You stood in front of me on the campaign trail and basically called me a loser in front of my entire staff. Before, might I add, you even introduced yourself." He laughed at the memory.
"I never called you a loser babe. I just called out all the BS everyone else was afraid to bring up." She smiled, still looking at him.
"Good point. But, either way, I just wanted you to know I think about that morning every day. And Im so thankful that you're in my life, that you're a part of my life, and that you share your life with me. I'm thankful for everything you've done and continue to do for my presidency and I can't wait for the day it's just me and you." He looked at her, their eyes locked into one another, silently making a vow to each other. He let her go from his arms so that they could both lay on their sides and face each other.
"Its gonna be kinda great actually. When we're done with all this and its just the two of us. Playing house. Eating breakfast together every day, getting the kids ready for school, pizza night, family vacations..." As he trailed on he started she listened with a small smirk on her face. She was surprised at how much thought he had put into their future, considering he was still married and still he President.
"Whoa right there. Rewind. Who said anything about kids?"
"Of course we're having kids."
"Says who?"
"Says me."
"Oh really?"
"Yes, really. We're having kids. You DO want kids, right? They're gonna be the smartest cutest kids ever. I mean, I have two great looking kids already. But just think about what our little boy or girl would look like. Tell me that you don't think we'd make some perfectly chunky Grant babies. And you pregnant? With a big ol' belly? And we both know THIS would get nice and big too." He reached around and gave one of her butt cheeks a good firm squeeze causing her to squeal.
"That's definitely in the cards for us." He winked at her and gave his famous Grant smile while softly kneading her backside, both if them still on their sides propped up by their arms.
"Really Fitz? You want to get me pregnant so that you can enjoy my ass?" she poked him playfully causing him to flinch a little and laugh.
"I already enjoy it. I think I'll get to enjoy it MORE while you're pregnant." His eyebrows raised quickly as he let his hand linger on her body.
"Hmmmm...I dont know...I guess I just always figured that if we were still together after your presidency that you wouldn't want kids. You're not exactly a spring chicken Fitz. And who says you'd want to raise kids again. It's alot of work you know..."
"First of all Liv, and I'm not really sure why you would say this, but I have every intention of being with you well after my presidency. Second, the spring chicken thing. Really Liv? After yesterday, one would think that you would understand how much spring I got goin on."
"You're so cocky."
"Mmmm, you like it."
"Kinda." She winked and smiled at him sending an undeniable current through his body.
They continued their conversation that morning enjoying the beautiful picnic that Fitz had organized. It was a perfect way to celebrate the day they met, falling in love at first sight.
The next thing Olivia knew they were in the house in Connecticut that Fitz rented for a few days and getting ready for bed. They both fell asleep quickly, tired from the drive. The morning came quickly and they both got ready for brunch. As they arrived at the small restaurant they noticed that Mellie had arranged for a private dining area. They made themselves comfortable and checked emails as they waited. Mellie was late and Fitz refused to sit there hungry so they began eating.
"Liv! Fitz!" Mellie walked in the empty dining room of the restaurant in a fitted gray dress and black heels. Her hair was up and she seemed genuinely happy to see them. They stood up to greet one another. Fitz gave her a handshake, which Olivia saw as unnecessary but she didnt address it. She gave Mellie a hug and they all sat down to talk.
"So, Liv, lets cut right to it. I'm running for the state senate in Connecticut and I need your help."
"Wow! Mellie. That's amazing. Senator, huh?"
"Yup! I've had enough of my hands in politics in the past and I want to use my knowledge for a bigger purpose."
"That's great Mel. I'm happy for you. But why do you think you need me?"
"Well I need you as more of an advisor to me. I just want a go to person that can help within our decisions. You wouldn't have to travel, I just wanted to know if I can count you in as someone I can call, someone I can refer my campaign manager to. You're the best in the business, I can't go wrong if you're on board, even if just a little bit."
"Well, Mellie, thank you for the compliment. I will strongly consider it and get back to you about my decision."
"Great, that's all I ask. So brunch? This is nice right? The three of us together talking politics, breaking bread."
Fitz didn't look amused by her small talk.
"How've you been Fitzgerald? The kids told me about the ski trip."
"I've been great. Olivia and I are doing really well. She keeps putting up with me at least," he smiled at Liv and she returned the expression.
"Well isn't that adorable," Mellie said dryly.
"Really, I should go you guys. I'm running late for another meeting. And Katie has a doctors appointment later today we can't miss. Oh, I gotta show you this picture before I leave." Mellie pulled out her phone and pulled up a picture of her 1 year old being held by her husband.
"Oh, wow Mel. She's adorable." Olivia said.
"Yeah, cute pic Mel," Fitz didn't sound as enthusiastic but he was trying to not be completely rude.
"Thanks you two. She's just the cutest thing. I know all mommys say that but she really is. She reminds me of Karen when she was a baby. George and I are just too in love with her. Oh, and George also said to say hi. Of course my husband couldn't make if because he's meeting the contractors for the new house we're having built. Its on a brand new gorgeous property we kind of stumbled upon. We're just too busy for words. But anyways, Ill be hearing from you Liv. Thanks again." And with that, she was gone.
"Wow! I feel like we just got hit by the Mellie truck."
"Yeah, something like that." Fitz sat there seemingly disinterested and began pouring himself another mimosa.
Back at the house that evening they both decided to catch up on work. They were in two seperate parts of the house but Liv was getting hungry so she made her way to the living room where Fitz had mountains of paperwork surrounding him as he sat on the couch.
"Babe, what's up with dinner? You want anything in particular?"
"No." He wasn't fazed by his question, not looking up from his noticed his distant demeanor.
"Okay, Ill order takeout from the Italian place we drove by today. Do you want pasta or pizza? Or I can pull up the menu online?"
"Whatever Liv." His curt response and lack of eye contact was confusing to her.
"Fitz."
"What." He still didnt look up.
"Fitz..." She stood across the room from him waiting for him to give her a more specific decision. He raised his face and looked at her angrily.
"What Liv? What the hell is the problem? It doesnt matter what we 't order anything for all I care."
If Olivia was in another frame of mind she would have yelled right back. But she knew that seeing Mellie earlier was taking a toll on him. So, she reminded herself of that before she responded to his rude tone. She walked over to where he was sitting doing his work and sat on the couch to face him. She reached out to touch his hand and could feel his entire body relax once they connected. His face dropped and he looked at her, his eyes gray and sad.
"I should kick your ass right now for yelling at me like that," she said in a warm voice but it was followed by an equally warm smile.
"Yeah, I know. You should. I'm a jerk. I...I just have a lot on my mind. Sorry Liv. We can order pasta, that's fine." He shrugged and leaned back pinching the bridge of his nose and releasing a sigh.
"You know, Fitzgerald, you can tell me when you're in a bad mood or want to be left alone. My feelings won't be hurt."
"I don't want alone time Liv," he looked at her assuredly.
"Okay, just letting you know, I can handle it." Her hand reached up to touch the side of his face. They both looked at each other and gave a thin smile.
"Mellie really got to me today Liv. I don't know how she does it. But she really got to me."
"How? She talked about the senate race and that was pretty much it."
"Yeah, but it was everything. She pranced in there like some sweet innocent ex-wife. She made my life hell for years. I finally break all ties with her except for our kids. And then, she has the nerve to call you, of all people, for help. I mean, you're the best at what you do, but why the hell does she think that we want to be a part of her life right now. She doesn't deserve your help Olivia."
"Fitz, if you don't want me to do it, I won't. Not if it's gonna effect our life together. That's not even close to being worth it to me."
"Babe, you're a professional. I know you'll be great. I know you can seperate the two parts of your life. It was just today, seeing her reminded me of everything that went wrong in the past. I guess it just pissed me off a little. I don't know...and you know what else? Why was she talking about how AMAZING her life is right now? Quite frankly I wanted to throw up. Her perfect little daughter and her perfect little husband and their perfect little house in Connecticut. I mean, gimme a break." He was on a tangent now and rolling his eyes, but his voice was still low and controlled. Olivia sat and listened, accepting that Fitz just needed a sounding board.
"Like, really Liv, we could've sat there and talked about how great things are going, but we didnt. We kept it professional. She's everything but that. Why does SHE get to have all of that? WE should be the ones talking about our amazing honeymoon. WE should be the ones talking about the new renovations on our beautiful house. WE should be the ones talking about how our toddler is the perfect kid. Not Mellie."
They both realized what Fitz had just said about having a child of their own by now. The air became noticeably tense.
"I'm sorry Liv. I didn't mean to bring up the baby thing. I got caught up on my rant." He reached out to hold her hand. Their eyes met.
"It's okay Fitz. It's okay that you feel that way."
They sat in silence for a few seconds, both of them looking at their hands together.
"Do you ever think about it Liv? The fact that we made a baby together? We almost raised a child together." His voice was sad as his eyes remained lowered and he looked down at their hands intertwined.
"Yeah, I think about it," she replied softly.
"I think about it too. Our pregnancy. I think about it a lot actually," he admitted.
She looked at him, not making eye contact. Her heart ached at his confession.
"I think about what the baby would have looked like and you giving birth. I know you would've been a champ through labor. I think about what colors we would've painted the baby room. Random stuff...I wonder what kinda cravings you would've had. How would you have looked 8 months pregnant? You think you would have gotten fat?" He lightly laughed, the sadness present in his voice. She wanted to respond back playfully but her mind was being filled with the same visions of what could have been. Her large brown eyes were beginning to well with tears.
"I've cried a couple times. I'm...I'm sad that you went through that alone, Liv, without me there to be strong for you. I'm sad that we weren't given the chance to raise our first child together. You know she would have been almost two by now? God, could you imagine," his voice cracked,"I would love to be sitting here with you and our two year old daughter, Liv."
"Fitz." Tears were quietly streaming down his face as she leaned over to touch his cheek with her small hand.
He kissed her palm.
"The only reason that I dont feel completely broken is the fact that I have you Olivia. That's the only reason." His face was full of angst as he looked her in her eyes. His jaw was tight and eyes full of sorrow.
"I love you." She lightly kissed each stream of sadness running from his eyes.
"We're gonna make more babies Liv. I promise you," He whispered.
"I know Fitz. I know we are." She forced a smile, wanting to rid him of any pain he was feeling.
They sat in the living room for a while, talking more about how to handle the Mellie situation. They agreed on a few boundaries that they would keep so that their relationship wouldn't be affected in the process. The conversation went well, and they retired early to bed, exhausted from the days events.
The next day they drove back to Fitz's condo in New York City. Olivia had to head back to DC but they wanted a little more time with each other so they played card games and talked to kill time.
"I think we need a vacation babe." Fitz said blankly as he threw his card down and smiled as he won that round.
"You got lucky with that hand . And vacation? We just went skiing not that long ago."
"Yeah I know but that was with the kids, and half the people I know were there that weekend. I mean a real vacation. Just me and you, somewhere that has palm trees and beaches. You in a skimpy bikini, me in a leopard speedo," he raised his eyebrows playfully and Olivia burst into laughter.
"Honey, you are one of the sexiest men on this earth. But I don't think a leopard speedo would work for you." Her laughter was sporadic and uncontrolled as she envisioned him at the beach wearing one.
"No? You're probably right. There's no way Fitzgerald the Fourth could squeeze into that anyway." He winked at her.
"You're too much. Well, I don't think I can do an entire week way anytime soon, but I could work out a four day trip."
"Yeah? That's perfect! Ill organize everything and get you the dates as soon as I figure it out. God, I'm so glad you're okay with this. I'm in dire need of some quiet time with my love."
"Of course I'm okay with it babe," she smiled at him.
"But where are you thinking Fitz?"
"Don't worry about it. I told you ill organize everything. Just know that you should pack lightly. A few bikinis and some lingerie."
"Really Fitz. We don't have to fly to an exotic island for you to see me naked."
"Mmmm, I know." He moved closer to her and began kissing her neck and jaw as they were still sitting on the floor.
"Don't start Fitz. We don't have time for it. I should've already left. If we start we won't stop." Her eyes were shut as she enjoyed the softness of his lips on her neck.
"Okay, but just so you know, on our trip, it's gonna be a whole lot of
starting and not a lot of stopping going on." He kissed her lips deeply in one motion. She was putty against his body.
"A lot of starting and no stopping? I can handle that."