Chapter 6: Apprehension: Egoist: Romantica

The Uke Flu

Chapter 6: Apprehension

Sitting on the park bench, lost in his musings, Nowaki was startled from his thoughts by the sound of a familiar voice.

"Ah, Kusama-san, what a lovely surprise to see you."

It was the low velvet purr of the author, Usami Akihiko.

Nowaki looked up to see Usami standing in front of him. The silver-haired man was holding his tiny son (now a little more than a year old) with one arm, balancing the boy on his slender hip. His other long arm was also occupied as, disregarding the fact they were out in public, Usami protectively clutched his lover, Misaki's, hand.

"Hello, Usami-san," Nowaki rose to return Akihiko's slight bow. He blinked his eyes hoping none of the tears he'd been holding back would break free and fall. "And hello, Misaki-san," Nowaki added, addressing Usami's companion.

"Hello, Nowaki-san." Misaki bowed politely, looking shyly at Nowaki with his heart-breaking green eyes.

"How good it is to see you out in the world," Nowaki ventured.

"Yes, thank you," came the young man's soft reply as he straightened. At the same time he said this however, Misaki dropped Usami's hand and leaned in, wrapping his thins arms around his older lover's trim waist as if seeking support.

Akihiko looked down at Misaki, his eyes barely masking his concern as he tousled his partner's hair before laying his hand reassuringly on Misaki's shoulder and gathering him in.

Looking at the youth, Nowaki wondered how it was possible that Misaki could somehow look younger now, years later, than when he had first met him.

"And how is Aki-chan doing?" Nowaki inquired, trying to keep his tone light.

Deciding to keep the baby had been a huge issue for the couple. Misaki had suffered immensely during his terrible experience with Korovin and had not even really begun to heal from this, when it was discovered he was pregnant.

Akihiko had not wished to see his young lover endure any more hardship and he initially worried that if born, the child would be a daily reminder of Korovin for Misaki.

Then, as he was one of MP3REG36's first victims, there had been the issue of safety at the time, because during the initial outbreak of the virus, no one knew what the health risks actually were for its infected/impregnated sufferers. It was unknown then also, how the illness reorganized and created new organs, or how the babies would even be delivered from their father's bodies.

In the end however, Misaki, despite Akihiko's objections, held fast and decided to keep his baby.

Knowing that the baby was Usagi-san's, Misaki could not bear the thought of terminating it. He believed that if this one good thing, this miracle, could come out of the ordeal he'd been subjected to, something that would be a visible manifestation of the love he shared with his devoted Usagi-san, that this might help him heal.

Aki's birth had done a lot to help pull Misaki out of his darkness and both he and Akihiko loved the little boy dearly.

Looking at the small family before him, gathered into each other, the attachment the three shared was so obvious it made Nowaki's chest hurt.

"Aki-chan certainly looks well," Nowaki offered Misaki, beholding the young man's beautiful son. The infant had his older father's pale hair and porcelain skin, his younger father's petite bone structure and huge green eyes.

"You should see him when he's set loose in the apartment," Akihiko growled. His eyes glowed with pleasure. "Now that he's walking, he's a terror."

Nowaki smiled at the trio despite his distress. A lump formed in his throat and he found himself afraid to say anything more, lest he be overwhelmed.

Still always in tune to those around him, Misaki looked at the doctor with concern. "Nowaki-san, please excuse me for asking, but are you alright?"

Hearing the worry in his lover's voice, Akihiko suddenly re-appraised the man standing before him. Kusama did seem strangely subdued today.

"Hiroki has not been giving you any grief, has he? You know we're all so looking forward to your ceremony."

"Oh, no, Usami-san." Nowaki forced a smile. "We're doing quite well right now."

Akihiko would have liked to have questioned Nowaki further; something was obviously bothering the man, but he could also tell by the way that Misaki had started shifting his weight from side to side, that his fragile partner was growing uncomfortable of standing so long in one place, out in the open like this.

With all the publicity of Misaki's kidnapping and his standing as Japan's first Flu father, not to mention Akihiko's own notoriety, they were often hounded by the paparazzi. It had been a rare treat to escape the apartment without company. Akihiko knew that Misaki was concerned that if they lingered they might be recognized.

Akihiko gave a comforting squeeze to his smaller lover's shoulder before dropping his hand so that Misaki could take it again. "I had better be getting my boys back to the apartment. We've been out for quite a long time today and I'm sure Misaki must be getting tired."

The radical transformation in Misaki's personality that had been brought about as a result of his time under the cruel hands of Korovin was evident when, instead of the violent objection he would have issued in his earlier incarnation, the young man just looked up gratefully. "It would be nice to get back home, if you don't mind, Usagi-san."

"Good bye, Nowaki-san," Misaki whispered, offering Nowaki another polite bow. "And as always, thank you again for everything." He looked at Usagi-san and their son as he said this.

"Yes, truly," Akihiko affirmed, bowing as well before the small Usami-Takahashi clan moved off.

As soon as they had left, Nowaki looked back at the bench, wondering whether or not he should sit back down again. In the end, however, he decided against it and instead started walking out of the park in the other direction.

Moving through the world with tear-blurred eyes; Nowaki struggled to keep from tripping: seeing so much love in Misaki and Usami's small family had only magnified his conflict.

What am I going to do? What will Hiro-san say if I tell him I've caught the Flu?

This was the greatest part of his current dilemma: Hiro-san did not want children. On this point his lover had always been adamant.

Well before the flu, Nowaki had more than once proposed the idea of taking in a child or two from the Kusama Orphanage. Despite the fact that legally, as a gay couple, he and Hiroki could not adopt, they could have still fostered.

Even now, Nowaki could still hear Hiro-san's adamant refusal echoing in his mind.

"Nowaki, you and I deal with other people's brats all day. Why on earth would we want to have them at home too?"

This had been a much emphasized point, anytime he and Hiro-san had gotten into that particular discussion.

Beyond the possibility of fostering, when the phenomena of the Uke Flu had finally been identified, Hiroki had been beside himself with panic. The professor had been furious with Nowaki for unknowingly exposing him to the virus. He had refused to have sex with Nowaki for weeks despite the fact he had none of the Flu's symptoms.

Given the high sex drive of both men, this had not been a particularly pleasant time in the couple's relationship.

When they finally resumed sexual relations, Hiroki had insisted that Nowaki wear a condom (which both of them hated) and even with this protective measure, Hiroki had forced him to withdraw completely before he came.

Then the vaccine came out.

In some parts of the world, mandatory injection of the vaccine was being forced upon entire gay populations, semes and ukes equally. In Japan, getting the vaccine was a personal choice. The vaccine had only been available in the country for a few months now and demand was high. While an unimmunized uke could contract the flu at any time, once someone took the one-shot vaccine, his ability to resist the Uke Flu was considered permanent.

The reality that Hiroki, as a result of the Uke Flu, could have carried a Kamijou-Kusama child would have been the fulfillment of Nowaki's wildest dreams. Despite this, as much as it broke his heart, when the vaccine had finally come out, Nowaki had reluctantly supported Hiroki's decision to get inoculated.

And now there was this: his own completely unexpected impregnation.

While Nowaki initially felt conflicted about what Suzuki had told him, his reason for contracting the flu, his disconcertion was quickly replaced by an incredible sense of wonder.

Now, in his own belly, Nowaki held his desperately longed for child. He felt as though on a certain level he'd been the recipient of a rare gift. Regardless of what Hiro-san's response might be. Nowaki could not imagine aborting this miracle. As an orphan, knowing the heartache of abandonment too well, there was no way he would ever give up his child.

Nowaki frowned as he considered all the possible scenarios. He wondered, in keeping it, what the cost would ultimately be? Would he be forced to let go of his relationship with the love of his life, his pride, his job opportunities? He hoped not, but regardless of how high the price, he knew that he could never let his baby go.

Conscious of the fact that even in the womb a child could be aware of its parent's emotional state, and now that the sharing of his body with a new life had been indisputably confirmed, Nowaki only wanted his baby to know happiness.

He pushed all his worries to the side and looked down at his belly. ""Everything is going to be just fine."

He set a hand on his abdomen where he thought the tiny fetus should be floating. He wiped the tears from his eyes and smiled at his stomach.

"Come on, small one," he whispered softly. "Let's go home."

New AN:

Ashley Tangerine, so lovely to have you along for another story. Will you be finishing your review through Neko Hiro too? Good luck with all your exams. And I have all kinds of ideas for a Teen Hiroki squee-quel, but first I have to get some other stories finished. (Including this one).

Lionfish 13, thank you for the nudge. It got me off my ass and uploading for Cerberus. Thank you too for the wonderful and articulate review. I agree with you. That is why I was drawn to the Egoists as well. They are a rarity among yaoi couples. I always thought of Nowaki as more of the uke in the relationship myself (sexual position not withstanding). Hope you enjoy and that you chime in again.

Gothpandaotaku, so glad you found this and I am pleased that you find it to be different. I don't know if it's possible to make the genre of MPREG respectable, but I am going to have fun trying.

FujoshiNinjaNumber6, it's never too late to join here. Thank you for being brave and adding your voice. So… did your intuition serve you well?

Thank you all for reading (re-reading) and reviewing. It makes me very happy!