Not Enough: Part 6
By Arianwen P.F. Everett
Regina attempted to straighten her son's tie, only to have her hand slapped away. "Mom, I got it!"
"I know, Sweetheart. It's just that I want us both to look our best for this lady. We want to put her at ease that Paul doesn't come from slobs," Regina commented, straightening her own shirt collar a bit as she searched her reflection for a flaw or smear of her make up.
"I don't get it. Shouldn't she be the one trying to impress us?" Henry asked, having done his research on the internet in preparation for these interviews. Everything he'd read told him that it was the adoptive parents who had to be nervous. They were the ones who had to prove themselves.
"To a certain degree, yes, but this woman is still a guest in our home and she comes from a good family. She wasn't raised in the gutter like Miss Swan. From what I've gathered through my private investigator, she's that rare combination of extremely wealthy and extremely generous. We have to put our best foot forward for Paul's sake and for our reputation as a family," Regina explained before heading to the guest room. Picking up the baby in question, she placed him in Henry's old carrier and brought him downstairs.
As soon as his mother placed the carrier down on the living room sofa, Henry bounded over and smiled brightly at the baby inside "Hey Paulie!"
Though his eyes met Henry's with a spark of excitement, the infant could only jerk and stick out his tongue in reply, drool slipping from the right side of his mouth.
Closing her eyes, Regina fought the conflicting feelings in her chest. On one hand, she couldn't help but be moved by the sight of them as Henry sat down beside the carrier and took Paul's fists onto his index fingers before moving them back and forth to make it appear as if the baby was dancing to some song only they could hear. Paul's presence made Henry happy. She'd tried so hard to make Henry happy and Paul just arrived and did it.
For a brief moment, Regina considered keeping the baby, if only as a means of ensuring Henry wouldn't retreat from her. Maybe they could make a deal; he'd voluntarily leave that piece of trash that gave birth to him and the baby would stay. As she'd recently reminded Archie, a baby was hard work and Henry would be too busy helping her tend to Paul to spend any time with his biological relatives. The two of them could rebuild their relationship and Henry would learn an invaluable skill in assisting in the care of an infant. As the weeks and months went by, his relationship with the Charmings, Rumplestiltskin, and Rumplestiltskin's spawn would wither on the vine as she and Paul became his whole world. It would be just like old times and maybe she'd grow to love Paul too.
But she knew that was a gamble she wasn't willing to make. If she didn't grow to love the baby, she'd effectively be giving him to Rumplestiltskin the way her mother's coldness had her, and Henry would figure it out long before then. Regina just wished he didn't take everything so personally. She wished he could see that her love for him was constant no matter where Paul grew up. She knew Paul's loss would be a major blow and she wanted nothing more than to comfort him, to be his mother through it all. "Henry, I need to…"
Suddenly the doorbell chimed and Regina sighed. Talking about her feelings was difficult enough, but even when she wanted to, with Henry at least, there never seemed to be a good time. Patting her son's shoulder, Regina stood, straightened her attire one final time, and went to answer the door.
The woman on the other side smiled broadly when she saw Regina. "Hi. I hate to disturb you, but I'm looking for the Mills residence."
"You've found it. That's us. Are you here about Paul?" Henry piped in as he joined Regina at the door.
"Paul? I don't know any Paul; I'm here to interview for an adoption," the woman stated in confusion.
"Oh yes, well the birth father put the name Paul on the birth certificate. Don't worry; it can be changed once he's with his real family," Regina explained quickly, wanting to put the woman at ease that she hadn't driven all the way out here for nothing.
"The birthfather is involved?" the woman asked wearily and Regina's previous worries about Jake's presence in the whole adoption resurfaced. Right now she needed to be honest and let the chips fall where they may. Jake was a part of this and not explaining where he stood would certainly discourage the woman from pursuing Paul further. Nobody wanted to set themselves up for loss if they could avoid it, and as Regina had learned in adopting Henry, a few extra thousand here and there gave you choices most potential adoptive parents didn't have. The woman could walk away and find another child. Regina was stuck with Paul until she found him a good home.
"Yes, unfortunately. He's not very happy with the situation, but he's coming to understand that he doesn't have the means to care for a baby on his own. I didn't sign up for this, and I refuse to be emotionally bullied into a lifelong commitment. I need my future back," Regina explained, watching the woman's face for signs of unease.
Thankfully, she nodded and smiled before offering Regina her hand. "Well, hopefully I can help you with that. My name's Sophia. Sophia Duvall."
"Regina, and this is my son, Henry," Regina introduced, then stepped aside to bid the woman enter.
Sophia looked around the Mills mansion and what she saw confused her. This woman was not what she was used to. "It's a pleasure to meet you both. I am a bit surprised though. The four other birthmothers I've interviewed with weren't as…"
"Old?" Henry assumed, knowing that most women who placed babies up for adoption were like Emma had been when she'd given him up for adoption, teenagers, or at least very young women.
"I was going to say well off, but yes, your mom is older than any of the others. That's a positive though. She's in a better position to know herself and understand the consequences of her actions," Sophia answered diplomatically. She was the daughter and granddaughter of successful diplomats; at least her family had given her one thing she could be proud of.
"You'd be surprised," Henry replied bitterly.
"Henry!" Regina jumped in surprise. Now she was worried. Henry was planning something. She didn't know what but his wheels were turning. She should have expected it, but she'd been so sure their relationship had been mending these past two years, that he was over his intentionally hurting her because she'd once been the Evil Queen. The blow was harsh, but she'd suffered worse, and she knew how to suck it all up when it counted.
"It's alright. I have nieces and nephews. I know children say whatever comes into their heads. It's not a problem," Sophia replied. She could see the boy was on the defensive. He obviously wasn't happy with the adoption and was attempting to make his mother look bad. She felt for him, but she had always wanted a son and this woman, Regina looked intent and clear eyed about the matter, far more so than the younger, more desperate birth mothers she'd met in the past. That reassured Sophia enough to proceed, ignoring the boy's less-than-subtle misbehavior.
"That's a very dismissive attitude you have towards kids. Are you sure you want to adopt Paul?" Henry asked, thinking himself clever and hoping his argument would eventually sway the woman that Paul was just not the baby for her. He'd used a very adult word in 'dismissive' and he knew he'd used it correctly.
"I'm sorry if you misinterpreted, but I promise you I didn't intend to dismiss your concerns. I was only speaking from my experience with children your age. As for my desire to adopt Paul, I've been looking to adopt a baby for some time now, and I'm honored to be considered by yourself and your mother." Sophia defended, wanting to show the young man before her that she meant no harm, but that she wasn't going to be run off.
"See Henry, Ms. Duvall meant no harm by it. She only wants a chance to adopt Paul and make him part of her family," Regina explained, gently squeezing her son's shoulder in an attempt to calm him.
Henry sulked a few moments as his mother returned to her mayor mode before approaching her and the woman who'd entered their home. "I don't see why you want me here if you're not going to listen to anything I have to say. I'm going to Granny's for a burger."
"Wait! Henry, wait!" Regina called out, chasing her son before he could even make it to the foyer.
"What?!" Henry grumbled in exasperation, fed up with his mother's attempts to sugar coat everything for him.
"Henry, I need you to understand, whether you like it or not, this is going to happen. Paul is going to be adopted at some point and he's going to go away with his new mother. I love you, but I can't keep this baby merely to please you! Don't you want him to have a real home, with a real mom? Don't you want him to be happy?!" Regina asked, needing her son to understand.
"Yes, but I want to be his brother too! Please don't send Paul away!" Henry finally broke down crying into Regina's dress.
"God, I wish you didn't have to hurt like this; I never wanted you to hurt like this, but I'm stuck, Henry. I'm truly stuck. I can't keep Paul; it wouldn't be fair to him, but I terrified of loosing you. I just don't know how to make us both happy. Please understand, I'm trying the best I can," Regina pulled her son closer, the pain he was in clawing at her heart. When she'd been young, all she'd wanted was some control over her future. So believing her son needed that same feeling of control, she'd tried to bring Henry into the adoption process, to give him some sense that he wasn't merely a bystander but an active player in getting Paul to the family that would love him. Perhaps that had been poor judgment on her part.
"I know you're trying, but it still hurts! I can't do this, Mom! I can't help send Paul away! I promise I won't be mean to you for doing it, but I just can't! Please Mom, let me go to Granny's! I can't stick around like this!" Henry begged, his tears subsiding as he looked up into his mother's eyes. It was bizarre. When he was little the distance was so far he had to tilt his head all the way back. Now, he barely raised his chin and he felt further away than ever. He was beginning to realize that he would never truly know his mom, Regina Mills, but that he could love her without understanding her. He had to.
"Okay. If it makes you better able to handle this, go to Granny's. I can do the interview alone. Do you want me to tell you about it later or would you rather not?" Regina asked, relenting. Henry didn't want control here and she'd respect that. He frequently did things she knew she would never relate to, but that pleased her. He was generally happy and optimistic; only with Daniel had she ever been allowed to be that way. She was a good mother. She gave him the freedom to be happy.
"No, you can tell me over breakfast. I mean, you said you would interview all four applicants, not just give Paul away overnight, right?" Henry confirmed, knowing his mother's attempts to let him help were her way of showing him that she respected his opinion.
"Right. I won't make any final decision before telling you. I promise," Regina vowed, giving Henry one final squeeze before letting go of him.
Half a minute later she was alone with Sophia Duvall. "So, would you like some freshly made apple cider?"