Chapter 11: The Unicorn and the Ass: Egoist

Old AN: Well All, here is part of the moment so many of you have been anticipating. Thanks to all of you for your reviews. I await them as much as you await the next installment. They really spur me to keep writing, so please keep posting them. I am so glad that you are enjoying the story so far.

Oh, and Sun'sMoon, this chapter's for you…

Sincerely

Cerberus

The Uke Flu

Chapter Eleven: The Unicorn and the Ass

Hiroki's eyes bulged then narrowed. He frowned at his obviously deranged partner.

"Pregnant? Ha, ha, yeah right, funny, Nowaki! I'm trying to start a serious conversation here and you're telling jokes." Hiroki rolled his eyes in irritation. It was hard enough for him to have initiated such a precarious conversation without being subjected to Nowaki's very poor choice of humor.

Then he looked over at the miserable man sitting next to him.

"You're obviously not taking my concerns seriously… Right?" Hiroki demanded. He was growing increasingly disconcerted by Nowaki's subdued response to his chiding.

"Come on, Nowaki, be serious! There's no way you could catch the Uke Flu, you're a seme for gods' sake! It's impossible for semes to get the flu.

"Isn't that what all the scientists have been saying?" Hiroki became increasingly agitated as he tried to argue against Nowaki's bizarre assertion, despite the fact that his giant remained silent.

"I mean, if semes thought they could get the Uke Flu, there would be panic in the streets! You know there's no way… You're a doctor after all…" Hiroki was flailing.

"Hiro-san," Nowaki's sweet face was sad and earnest. "The doctor I saw told me I'm not a seme."

"What the hell do you mean, not a seme?" Hiroki scoffed. "And what kind of crackpot physician did you see, that would tell you something that flies in the face of what you and I both know?" As he said this, Hiroki felt as if the bottom had just suddenly dropped out of his world.

He looked at the solemn man sitting next to him on the sofa.

If Nowaki is telling the truth about being pregnant then he has to be an uke. Hiroki tried desperately to wrap his head around this idea.

Well, if Nowaki isn't a seme, he's been a hell of a good actor for these last nine years. But... if he is an uke… and pregnant… that means he's been playing uke... to someone else's seme.… Hiroki's felt a furious flush rise to his cheeks. This would certainly explain some of Nowaki's recent behavior: his distance and seeming secretiveness.

Because of the "height rule," Hiroki instantly had a horribly vivid nightmare image of some seven foot, three-hundred pound biker bending his boyfriend over a pool table in a seedy bar and…

He shook his head violently, trying to clear the picture from his mind.

Hiroki jumped up and started pacing in front of the coffee stopped and looked at Nowaki, whose blue eyes were watching him with great apprehension.

"Are you serious?" Hiroki was still not convinced that this was not some uncharacteristically cruel and elaborate joke.

Nowaki just nodded.

"Are you sure?" by this Hiroki meant the pregnancy.

Nowaki knew what Hiroki was asking. "Yes," he sighed, but his voice was firm. "I went to one of the best Flu clinics in Tokyo to have the test done, Hiro-san. Dr. Suzuki was positive of its results."

As the possibility and the implications of this of this sunk in, Hiroki was devastated.

He knew the overwhelming betrayal he felt would only lead to tears, which was definitely not an option. So, he took his emotions in the only other direction available: he moved into anger.

"What the hell, Kusama?" Hiroki raged. "Who have you been with and how long has this been going on behind my back? And now that we're finally engaged, no less, which, may I remind you, was your blasted idea!"

Hiroki was so incensed he paid no attention to Nowaki's shocked expression.

"Whoever it is, I will fucking kill him!" Hiroki snarled. He turned to Nowaki and looked at him with an expression as fierce as it was pleading. "Please, by the gods, Nowaki, don't tell me it's that prick Tsumori. No wait, he's not as tall as you.

"Damn, no one's as tall as you, Nowaki… Who the hell is the father?" Hiroki was beside himself. He would have continued his rant but Nowaki's gentle voice stopped him cold.

"Hiro-san, how can you even say such things?" Nowaki's voice choked with sorrow and disbelief.

Hiroki looked over at his lover. He had never seen Nowaki look so hurt.

"Hiro-san, you know that I have never been with anybody else but you! How could I? You are the only one that I love!"

Hiroki was appalled at himself. He realized how unfair he had just been, how terrible the things he had just accused Nowaki of were. Of course his partner was telling the truth, he knew Nowaki's heart was pure.

Hiroki knew he should get down on his knees and beg Nowaki's forgiveness, but his pride interfered, so he tried to deflect the conversation instead.

"How is this even possible, Nowaki? Are you telling me that two ukes…"

"I'm not really an uke either, Hiro-san." Nowaki's reply held no small measure of pain.

"What? I don't understand."

"I'm a gay unicorn," Nowaki whispered, hanging his head.

"A what? A gay uni… Nowaki," Hiroki was flummoxed. "You aren't making any sense! Are you still sick? Do you have a fever?" Hiroki moved back over to the couch, extending a hand to feel Nowaki's forehead. "Are you delirious?"

"No!"

Nowaki pushed Hiroki's hand away. He was horribly hurt by Hiro-san's accusations and angry at his partner's seeming inability to comprehend what was, an albeit unusual, but relatively simple concept.

"I'm not sick! I don't have a fever! And I'm not delirious!"

Nowaki was shocked by his own vehemence but he was able to rein in his emotions and said a little more calmly. "Dr. Suzuki said I'm like a gay unicorn.

"He said I'm a semuke."

"A semuke?" Hiroki's eyes had gone wide.

"Yeah, it's..."

"I know what it is, Nowaki."

"You do?" Now it was Nowaki's turn to look surprised.

"Yeah, I have come across the term occasionally in some of the ancient literature I've read, but I never thought it was real…"

Understanding suddenly blossomed in the professor's eyes. "So wait… Then you're saying that we… That I…"

Nowaki nodded carefully and emitted a sigh of relief that the light bulb had finally gone on in Hiro-san's anger-dimmed brain.

Hiroki sat back down heavily on the couch again next to him and ran his fingers through his wild brown hair. "But that was like two months ago!"

"I know." Nowaki felt his irritation stirred again by his partner's continued disbelief. "I was there, remember?"

Hiroki did indeed remember. The memory brought a small unbidden smile. The grin only lasted a moment though before his frown returned. "So, you have known about this for two months and you didn't tell me?"

"No!" cried Nowaki, exasperated. "I just found out yesterday!"

"Wait, so last night then, that was…"

"Morning sickness."

"At seven o'clock at night?"

"That is my morning Hiro-san. And for your information, just because it's called that, does not limit its occurrence just to the morning. One can experience it at any time." Nowaki shook his head and sighed. For about the third time since they started this conversation he realized that for a smart man, Hiro-san could at times be incredibly dense.

"Then you've been having symptoms for two months and you never said anything to me?" Hiroki felt hurt by this.

"Five months," Nowaki tiredly corrected.

"What?"

"Five months if you count the initial onset of the Flu!"

Nowaki had reached the end of his patience. There were so many more important things they should be discussing in this conversation. And while he had not dared to hope that Hiro-san would be happy with his news, the man's responses, starting with his unthinkable accusations, pained him deeply.

Hiroki was really struggling to process all this new and overwhelming information. "I still can't believe you just figured this out… I mean… You're a doctor for gods' sake, Nowaki. You treated Misaki-kun after all."

Nowaki suddenly found himself in a very un-Nowaki-like place. He was really pissed at Hiro-san. He didn't know if it was the hormones, the fact that Hiroki had thought he could be unfaithful, or the man's refusal to address the larger picture, but he'd had enough.

"I didn't figure it out because up until twenty-four hours ago, though I never paid it much mind, I thought I was a seme and there was no way I would ever catch the Flu!

"And I didn't know I was pregnant after you fucked me because I'm not a girl! It's not like I have some semuke cycle to inform me that my biology suddenly changed!"

Nowaki wasn't quite yelling, but his tone was very angry. His blue eyes flashed cool fire.

"I told you almost as soon as I knew!

"Even though I didn't want to, because… Because I know how you feel about children, but by the gods, Hiroki, after what I just told you, this is what you fixate on?" Nowaki shook his head again, this time in disgust.

"You're an ass, Kamijou!"

Nowaki pushed himself up off of the couch. He strode into their bedroom and slammed the door.

Hiroki sat there stunned. For a moment he couldn't decide what shocked him more: that his giant of partner was a pregnant, gay, semuke, unicorn or that Kusama Nowaki had just yelled at him and called him Hiroki, Kamijou, and an ass, all in almost the same breath.

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