It was the first real day of rehearsal, and we were all gathered in the room again. We were about to start the work song, the first in the show. I assembled everybody in the middle of the room. We were all tired after a long school day, but most of us were eager to begin.
"OK guys, time to start 'Work Song.' We'll need all the guys, except Marius and Enjolras. Javert, over there. Valjean and convicts, there. Eponine, Fantine, Cosette…you all over there, you're not in this song. Go do your homework, or something. No talking. And I really mean that this time, guys. Bathroom is over there. Scripts open everybody. Ok, let's begin. We don't have a lot of time."
[PRISONERS]
Look down, look down
Don't look 'em in the eye
Look down, look down,
You're here until you die
"No no no. You are convicts, working in the hot sun. I want feeling, emotion. And please god be on key." I walked over and adjusted the volume of the music. "Lets keep going."
[CONVICT ONE]
The sun is strong
It's hot as hell below
[Valjean]
Look down, look down,
There's twenty years to go
"Or 19. Or 13, that's how long I was in jail."
"Shush it." I said. I could tell that we were going to have some trouble with Sirius.
[CONVICT TWO]
I've done no wrong!
Sweet Jesus, hear my prayer!
Or don't. I don't care. Can my name by Joe?
"No. You don't have a name, so shut it Dean."
[PRISONERS]
Look down look down,
Sweet Jesus doesn't care
"Like hell he doesn't."
"Ron."
[CONVICT THREE/Cedric]
I know she'll wait,
I know that she'll be true!
Will you, Cho?
"No. I want Harry."
"HEY!"
[PRISONERS]
Look down, look down,
They've all forgotten you.
[CONVICT FOUR]
Don't forget me, please.
When I get free ya won't see me
Here for dust!
What does that mean?
"No idea. Just keep it moving."
[PRISONERS]
Look down, look down
Don't look 'em in the eye
[CONVICT FIVE/Colin]
How long, oh Lord
Before you let me die?
" A year."
"Crap. Two?"
"No. You die at the battle."
"Oh yeah, I'd forgotten about that."
"Wait-how do you know?"
"Oh everybody knows that."
"Why, I mean-how?"
"Fred and George told us, at the Harry Potter Final Book Party."
"The WHAT?"
"Errr...nevermind"
"Thats-thats-"
"Illegal."
"Thanks, Hermione."
I was very, very upset. They had warned me NEVER to let on the characters futures, because it would mess up the plot. But if Fred and George had let all spill, how could anything happen the way it was supposed to? I knew one thing though-I was going to be in big, big trouble with Dumbledore and Kingsley.
[PRISONERS]
Look down, look down,
You'll always be a slave
Look down, look down,
You're standing in your grave
[SNAPE]
Now bring me prisoner 24601
Your time is up
And your parole's begun
You know what that means.
[Sirius]
Yes, it means I'm free.
This Valjean guy is an idiot.
"No he's not."
"Yes, he is."
"STOP IT!"
[SNAPE]
No!
It means you get
Your yellow ticket-of-leave
You are a thief
Yes you are, you stole gurdy root from me ten long years ago
"NO!"
"Yes you did, you dunderhead."
"Hey!"
Snape pulled out his wand, and so did Sirius. They began circling each other menacingly. All the convicts began to chant
" Fight, Fight!"
I groaned. I knew this wasn't a good idea, but we couldn't have the two main characters get into a fistfight.
"Guys please.."
"I'll get you, Snivillouse."
"I am the lawr, and the lawr is not mocked."
"You're not Philip Quast."
"Oh yeah- you aren't Colm Wilkinson."
"Well-"
"Please, Sirius. Not now."
"Fine. We'll settle this later. In the confrontation.
[SIRIUS
I was falsely accused! Er.. i mean,
I stole a loaf of bread.
[SNAPE]
"You are a death eater. Well, no you're not. I am. So is Wormtail. I mean..
You robbed a house.
[SIRIUS]
I broke a windowpane.
Yeah, I did. With a quaffle in the-never mind."
My sister's child was close to death
And we were starving.
[SNAPE]
You will starve again
That's a good idea.
Unless you learn the meaning of the law.
I mean, Lawr.
[SIRIUS]
I know the meaning of those 19 years
13, actually, but whose counting?
A slave of the law
[SNAPE]
Five years for what you did
The rest because you tried to run
Yes, 24601.
[SIRIUS]
My name is Jean Valjean
Sirius Black!
[SNAPE]
And I am Snape!
Do not forget my name!
Do not forget me,
24601.
"Hey," said Snape. "24601 don't rhyme with my name. Can we use 24608?"
"No. You've ruined this enough already. Just get moving.
[PRISONERS]
Look down, look down
You'll always be a slave
Look down, look down
You're standing in your grave.
[Sirius]
Freedom is mine. "Not really."
The earth is still.
But its turning. Through the years. Oh well.
I feel the wind. I breathe again.
I've always been able to breathe. This is silly.
"Just sing it." I growled.
And the sky clears
The world is waking.
Drink from the pool. How clean the taste.
Actually, it tastes like pesticides. Yuck.
Never forget the years, the waste.
Nor forgive them
For what they've done.
They are the guilty - everyone.
"Ohhhh look- a wrakspurt!"
Nobody listened to her. We were all to used to Luna.
The day begins...
And now lets see
What this muggle world
Will do for me!
[He finds work on a farm]
"Why a farm? Can't I find work at Hogwarts?"
"No way. Ruins the plotline."
"But then we can have all the ghosts do a number."
"No."
"But-"
"Move on. Start, Ernie."
[FARMER]
You'll have to go
I'll pay you off for the day
Collect your bits and pieces there
And be on your way.
You heard me! Get gone!
[VALJEAN]
You have given me half
What the other men get!
This handful of tin
Wouldn't buy my sweat!
Why would you want to buy sweat?
[LABORER]
You broke the law
It's there for people to see
Why should you get the same
As honest men like me?
[SIRIUS]
You aren't honest, you scum. Err, I mean:
Now every door is closed to me
Another jail. Another key. Another chain
For when I come to any town
They check my papers-
I should chuck those papers. I'm such an idiot.
And they find the mark of Cain
In their eyes I see their fear
`We do not want you here.'
We should change it to 'in their minds'. I'll bet Valjean is good at legilimency.
" But he's a MUGGLE, Sirius."
"So?"
"Just move on. We have tons to do today."
[He comes to an inn]
[INKEEPER'S WIFE]
My rooms are full
And I've no supper to spare
I'd like to help a stranger
All we want is to be fair- "But I'm not. Oh well."
Sirius drew his wand menacingly. "Give me dinner, you slattern."
Emma shrieked, and flung the cauldron at him. It missed.
"Don't curse me! NO! Help, Police! Javert, help"
"Sirius. You're a muggle. No wands. And that's not in the script."
"But-"
"Moving on, please."
[VALJEAN]
I will pay in advance
I can sleep in a barn
You see how dark it is
I'm not some kind of dog-
Actually, I AM a dog. I can transform if you want.
"No. Honestly Sirius, if you don't stop fooling around, I will hex you."
"But I AM a dog!"
[INNKEEPER]
You leave my house
Or feel the weight of my rod
We're law-abiding people here
Thanks be to God.
[They throw him out of the inn]
"Hey! That's not nice. Maybe I will become a dog. Then people pet you."
[VALJEAN]
And now I know how freedom feels
The jailer-Well, innkeeper, actually- always at your heels
It is the law!
This piece of paper in my hand
That makes me cursed throughout the land-
Told you I should chuck it away.
It is the law!
Like a cur
I walk the street,
The dirt beneath their feet.
[He sits down despairingly outside a house from which emerges the Bishop of Digne.]
[BISHOP/Lupin]
Come in, Sirius, for you are weary,
And the night is cold out there.
Though our lives are very humble
What we have, we have to share.
There is wine here to revive you.
There is bread to make you strong,
There's a bed to rest till morning,
Rest from pain, and rest from wrong.
[VALJEAN]
He let me eat my fill
I had the lion's share
Yeah! like a real Gryffindor!
The silver horcrux in my hand
Cost twice what I had earned
In all those nineteen years -
That lifetime of despair
And yet he trusted me.
The old fool trusted me –
Sorry, Remus. Don't mean it.
"We know."
He'd done his bit of good
Well, more then a bit, really.
I played the grateful serf
And thanked him like I should
Oh yeah-thanks, Lupin.
"Bishop."
"Oh yeah, him to."
But when the house was still,
I got up in the night.
Took the silver
Took my flight!
On a broom?
"No."
"Can I?"
"No way."
"But I'm a good flyer."
"BUT VALJEAN IS A MUGGLE."
[Taking the silver cup of Ravenclaw, he runs off, but is brought back by two constables]
Finally. Thank god that's over. That was terrible, worse then Miss Saigon. Why did they persist in ruining the lyrics?
The cast straggled of to the sides, talking in loud voices.
I decided that now was the time to have a much needed little talk with the cast.
"Look guys." I said, as they all went to get water bottles, joking and laughing.
" We can't keep messing up the lyrics. Really talented people wrote them, and we should respect that. Also, we don't have the copywrite, its technically illegal to change it all up"
George and Fred grinned at each other. "Cool!" They said in unison.
" We have to go by what it says in our scripts, and that is final. Get it?"
"No."
"Yes you do. What is it, Ginny?"
"Andy, does this mean Cosette can't hex Eponine?"
" Oh yeah, about that. The characters are muggles, guys. They can't fly, turn into dogs, or use magic. No hexing, AT ALL. That goes for everybody, do you hear me? They are muggles."
" Mudbloods."
"I heard that, Malfoy. Detention!"
" My father will hear about this! You can't punish me, you traitor. You betrayed my family, the most noble house of-"
"Say hi to Cissy for me."
"Never."
"Fine, whatever. So-muggles. Got it?"
Hermione flipped her hair. "Like me." She said.
"Exactly. If anybody has any questions, ask Harry, Hermione, or another muggle born."
"Mudblood."
" Can it Malfoy."
"Traitor." He smirked at me. I decided to ignore him.
"Get it?"
"Yes. Said everybody. "We get it."
"Ok. Five minuet break, then we'll start the next song."
I went and sat down in a corner. I was regretting this decision more and more as the days went on. This was a theatrical nightmare. Truly it was. And we still had most of the show to go…