I don't own Ashes to Ashes
Thank you so much for all of the positive feedback on the last chapter – I think I've replied to all the signed reviews, but a big thank you also to the anonymous ones – the support's really appreciated, so thank you guys :-)
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They stayed that way for a while, Alex curled into his chest and staring up into his eyes as she shook with anticipation, Gene stroking her hair with a trembling hand as his eyes tracked over every familiar and yet foreign feature of her face; despite having been seated at her bedside for years on end, he'd never really considered how much she'd changed before - he'd simply found new lines on her face, new streaks in her hair, and he'd taken them one by one... Now they were all gone, and the knowledge came like a sucker punch to the stomach at the realization that he could have spared himself the pain, could have lived a normal life if he'd just believed what she'd told him in the first place...
But sitting there on the sofa with her, it didn't matter; it felt inexplicably good to have her awake at his side, as though he had his old Bolly back, as if she'd never been away- at least not really... But it had changed; he realized that much as she toyed with the collar of his dark blue shirt, and as she gently stroked her hand down his shoulder and arm. He realized it as his hand found her waist and she moved into his touch, and the knowledge of that change was both terrifying and wonderful at once.
He'd missed her company for years – he'd have cut off every limb he possessed for this chance if it had been offered two days ago. He'd always thought one more night of this long-lost companionship would be heaven, but Christ! Now on top of that there was the feeling of her in his arms, the touch of her hand, the smell of her hair, the taste of her lips... it was better than he'd ever dared to imagine, and he couldn't bear the thought of her leaving him in the morning, couldn't comprehend the idea of losing this closeness before it had even begun; how was he supposed to let her go, knowing he faced an endless number of years without her once this evening was over, once she left him alone again and he had to try to make it through?
He gathered her closer and shifted to lie lengthways on the sofa, taking her with him and treasuring the sigh of contentment that left her lips as she wrapped her arms around him. His heart rate trebled, and a smile tugged at his lips.
He had one more night of her company... and as much as it might feel like heaven now, he knew it was going to hurt like hell come morning.
----
"Do you want some music?" Alex whispered quietly a little while later, lifting her head up to meet his tired blue orbs and tracing his features with her eyes; his hair had flopped slightly into his face, and she watched as he brushed it away with one hand, nodding his head slightly as he did so, his other hand gently rubbing circles in the fabric of her shirt.
"Yeah," Gene murmured, jerking his head gently towards the box of records that had been in the corner for as long as he could remember. "They're over there in the-" He trailed off oddly as she slipped slowly from his embrace, stood up, and, showing no sign of hesitation, headed over to the large wooden box. He watched as she gathered the familiar box up, flicking through the old, fragile records with the practised ease of someone utterly comfortable with their surroundings...
Gene watched her carefully, wetting his dry lips with the tip of his tongue, before pulling himself slowly up from the sofa, accompanying the action with a quiet grunt before walking up behind her, not touching, but still close enough to feel the heat of her body.
"Good Lord!" He heard Alex murmur to herself, and he watched as she pulled one sleeve from the box and held it gently in her fingers. "I forgot I even had this- I haven't listened to it in forever!" She turned it over, smiling to herself, and Gene gulped slightly, stepping ever so slightly closer and resting his hand almost tentatively on the curve of her hip, eyes fixed on the familiar record that now resided in her hand.
"You have," he whispered softly into her ear, gulping as he swallowed against the large lump that formed in his throat on the brink of his admission. "I- I play it for you sometimes..." He wet his lips again, hoping she wouldn't turn and see the beads of nervous sweat that formed on his forehead before he went on. "At the hospital when I don't feel like talking much," he murmured, "I play you some o' that stuff..." He waited a few long and, in his opinion, awkward moments, before he teasingly finished off. "You've got some shit music by the way, Bols."
Alex laughed slightly, moving her head around to look at him as he kept his eyes fixed firmly on the record in her hand. She smiled weakly, and then pointed questioningly at the record in her hand. "Do you mind if I-?"
Gene shook his head, his fingers trembling slightly as he tentatively stroked them down over the curve her hip. "Put it on," he said softly, still not meeting her eyes as he moved even closer, his breath on her neck.
Alex's movement was slow and languid, as though afraid to move herself too swiftly, but Gene didn't mind, watching with an odd, wistful look in his eyes as she drew the record from its sleeve and placed it on the turntable; there was something strangely mystical about watching her move, he realized. After so long sat with her unresponsive figure, the sight of her hands moving, and the sight of her lips twitching into a grin were the simplest and yet most beautiful pleasures of his existence; if he hadn't been worried about her noticing, he'd have stood there watching for hours more...
Once Alex had placed the needle down on the turntable, he watched as her hand stayed hesitantly in midair, shaking slightly as she seemed to fight against indecision that held no explanation; Gene reached for it instantly, and without question, wrapping his long fingers around her own and squeezing at the supple, soft hand that now resided in his as a wave of nostalgia washed over him.
His heart skipped slightly, his eyes closing briefly as he treasured once more the warm, apple-scent of her hair, the familiarity of her smaller, softer hand in his own, the gentle lull of her slightly hitched breathing...
"Gene," she whispered into the quiet. "I-"
"Shh," he murmured softly, listening as the music started to play quietly. "Just listen..." His voice was soft, grating, and Alex shivered against him, pressing back into his arms, the warmth of his chest pressed against her back sending tingles of delight racing down her spine. Her fingertips traced the frail, aged creases that covered his hand, tracking the contours and committing them to memory as he moved closer, resting his head gently against hers and sighing softly.
The music was soft, gentle, and relaxing; as Rod Stewarts voice reached Alex's ears, she was surprised at the low, gruff hum that sounded in Gene's throat, his hand dancing across her waist and hip, down slightly to brush the tops of her thighs, before the same arm slid warmly around her stomach, holding her gently and protectively as his lips moved tentatively to the soft flesh of her neck. Alex shivered, squeezing encouragingly at his hand as he trailed his mouth upwards, over her throat, up to her ear, across her cheek... The kisses he placed were tentative, nervous and tender, his lips barely brushing her flesh before he moved onward, upwards, barely tasting her skin at all, but covering every inch that was available to him with delicacy and warmth that set her alight.
"Gene..." her murmur was soft and warm, quavering in her throat as she reached behind her and tangled her spare hand in his hair, fingers threading into the soft locks and guiding his head across the plains of her skin, accompanying the tender caresses with gentle sighs.
"Missed you," Gene mumbled quietly, now tracing her jaw with his lips and squeezing her tightly around the waist, nervous of her response; he was relieved when he felt her smile, feeling the muscles of her face shift as she moved her head towards him, her next whisper brushing across his hair as he nuzzled the side of her neck with his nose.
"Missed you," she responded, her breath hitching as he sucked more intently on the flesh of her throat. "Gene, I-"
He interrupted, his voice gruff and yet soft all at once. "I'll miss you again..." It was a promise, she realized, and her heart clenched, feeling him wrap both arms around her, one of her hands still entwined with his. She trembled, her throat burned with grief, and a few moments later she was crying silently, the intensity of his tender embrace and the weight of the meaningful lyrics in her ears all too much for her to handle.
She let the music slow to a halt, let his hair and mouth tease her sensitive flesh for a few moments more, and then she spoke, grief and love sounding so profound within the words that she surprised even herself. "Gene," she whispered desperately, the hand in his hair tightening slightly as he nibbled softly at her ear. "Gene, please... please..."
He stopped his kisses, lifting his head and resting it against hers as he shook in a combination of fear, warmth, happiness and nervousness. "What is it?" He whispered, holding her tight, his eyes closed as he felt her own body tremble and quiver against his.
"Take me to bed, Gene," she whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks in large, fat droplets that fell from her chin and splashed to her neck. "If tonight's really all we have then- then please, please let me show you... I need you to know..."
He was silent, his arms still tight around her, goose-bumps breaking out across the surface of his flesh as he swallowed back against his unease, closing his eyes to the sound of her ragged breathing in an attempt to calm himself. "I'll let yer down," he whispered eventually, his voice cracking with hurt and self-contempt.
"No," Alex countered, shaking her head as she turned her face towards his, nose brushing her cheek. "You couldn't let me down, Gene... please..." she turned in his arms, cupping his face with her hands and biting down on her lower lip before she spoke again. "Let me say goodbye," she whispered pleadingly.
Gene's eyes were filled with indecision and nervousness, underlined with desire and fear so prominent that she could almost smell it. Her hand stroked down his cheek, rasping across stubble and teasing down his neck, before she leaned closer, her lips an inch from his.
"Tonight's our forever, isn't it?" Alex whispered, tears falling swiftly down her cheeks. "We won't- we won't find each other again?"
Gene gulped, lifting one hand to her cheek whilst the other slipped to her waist. "I don't-"
She cut him off, shaking her head and pressing a finger to his lips. "Please," she whispered. "I don't know how else to show you... I need you to understand, Gene... I need you to feel what I feel! I need you to understand..." She edged closer with every word, and within a moment she was kissing him, the tenderness and the warmth of her mouth making his head spin, causing him to freeze in surprise as she pushed her tongue softly against his lips.
"Trust me..." she whispered imploringly, not moving away, lips still brushing against his as she spoke.
Gene swallowed hard, his hands tight on her hips as she leaned into him again. He gulped; all of the times he'd thought of Alex in this situation, imagined it, longed for it, he'd never once needed convincing... But the fear in his gut twisted like a knot, clenching his inner muscles and wracking him with self-doubt; he didn't want to let her down. He'd wanted her for years, waited for longer than was healthy, and dreamt of this very moment over and over again...
"It'll be fine," she murmured against his mouth, sucking at his lower lip tentatively. "We'll be perfect, Gene," she told him, catching his mouth softly with her own. "I promise..."
He felt himself cave as her hands found his shirt and her lips caressed his, felt the terrifying, sickening fear as she wrapped herself eagerly in his embrace... But in her touch it became apparent that there was no hesitation, no fear on her part; she needed this as desperately as he did.
With a sigh, he threw caution to the wind, and allowed her to take him by the hand into the bedroom.
---
"Just- just stay awake with me, Bols... I don't wanna sleep..."
His voice broke through the semi-darkness of the late-afternoon, and Alex relaxed back into his arms, attempting to ignore the note of worry and agitation that edged into his tone as she turned around to face him.
"I'll stay awake," she promised softly, resting her cheek against his own and breathing the now-familiar and yet still exotic scent of his skin; she didn't think she would have ever got bored of it – a wave of grief passed over her as she realized she would never find out either way. His arms wrapped tight around her, and she slid one hand into his hair, allowing the other to wander over his shoulders and back in a delicate caress. His breathing was hitched and ragged as he cradled her head against him, the release of air from his lungs coming out as a shuddering gasp that made her press closer in a gesture of comfort. For a while, they remained silent, hands gently tracking over skin in a delicate, tentative effort to memorise every curve, every ridge, every scar...
They'd been through this already, she mused quietly to herself, pressing her lips to his collarbone. They'd already learnt everything – she'd made sure of that – and now it was simply a conscious effort to never allow herself to forget.
She already knew each line of his face; she knew the point on his scalp where his hair began to recede, revealing a small white scar when his fringe was pushed back out of his eyes; she knew the tiny freckle between his shoulder blades that was just off-centre, positioned ever so slightly further to the right; she knew that if she pressed just below his abdomen, where he was unusually sensitive, he would let out a soft whimper that sounded uncannily like childish laughter.
She knew him more intimately than she had ever thought possible... But that still didn't change the fact that it would never be enough to quench her thirst for him.
"It wasn't what you expected, was it?" Gene murmured eventually, touching his lips to her forehead in a tender kiss.
Alex frowned, drawing slightly away to look up, enabling herself to meet his blue eyes with her hazel ones; his face gave no sign of anything, but the eyes themselves were filled with a sadness that she couldn't comprehend. "What do you mean?" she whispered, one hand caressing his cheek as she frowned continually to herself.
"This... us... it wasn't what you thought it'd be, was it?" His voice was shallow, and his eyes turned away as he spoke, his hands tightening on her back. Alex blinked, her hand freezing in place for a few moments of confused silence, before she shifted slightly, turning his face towards hers and pressing her lips to the rough, weathered skin of his cheek.
"What did I think it would be, exactly?" She asked teasingly, resting their foreheads together.
Gene shrugged uncomfortably, lifting one hand to the back of his neck and scratching awkwardly as he kept his eyes averted. "I- I dunno..." he gulped. "I thought it'd be- better..." he trailed off hopelessly, rolling away from her and onto his back with a loud, despondent sigh. Alex waited only a few moments before following his movement, her body easily aligned with his.
"How could it have been better?" Alex whispered, reaching for his hand and pressing a kiss to the tender, slightly inflamed skin. "It was life-changing, Gene; it was-"
"You spent half of it howlin' like a bloody thunderstorm, Alex," Gene retorted, growling slightly in his throat as his shoulders tensed in agitation. "An' considerin' how short-lived the damn thing was I don't blame you, either!"
Alex blinked, lifting herself up to a sitting position beside his head; Gene made no movement, gave no sign that he'd even noticed, and she sighed, sliding her hand into his hair and shaking her head in hopeless amusement. "Were you expecting fireworks to burst over our heads and shake the bed from side to side?" she grinned, wetting her mouth and watching as his lips twitched in amusement, despite the slight frustration that edged into his gaze.
"Would've been nice," he conceded, slipping his hand across hers in apparent concession and sighing softly to himself. "That, or a stripper-choir leapin' out of the wardrobe singing 'hallelujah'..." A grin twitched at the corners of his mouth, and he brought her young, delicate hand to his mouth, his tired blue eyes fluttering closed for a few moments. "I just thought- well – well, it wasn't exactly a long experience..." he turned his eyes away again, and Alex half smiled, slipping down to his level and pressing her lips to his forehead.
"Felt pretty long to me," Alex smiled wickedly, settling back against his body. "In fact, it was-"
"Bolly," he grunted softly, gulping hard. "I'm too old fer you to be talkin' about me length... I only just finished."
She laughed, wrapping her arm around his chest and smiling warmly up at him. "Sorry," she said softly, resting her head on his shoulder and sighing in contentment. After a few moments of quiet she spoke again, her voice tentative and gentle. "It was wonderful, Gene," she whispered honestly, moving her mouth to his neck and smiling against his skin. "It was perfect..."
And she wasn't lying; it hadn't been the passion-fuelled adventure of one another's bodies that she had at first expected – she'd thought he'd have been fast, desperate, urging... Instead he'd let her take the lead, responding to her touches with soft sighs and groans; they'd spent what felt like forever learning one another intimately, and when it had finally happened, she'd been so overwhelmed with the emotion that burned in his eyes, and the tenderness that spread from his fingertips and into her skin, that she'd felt herself trembling, tears sliding from her eyes and splashing down onto his face as he had whispered desperately to her over and over and over; "You found me..."
Alex felt his ragged sigh of relief at her whispered reply, and a moment later his arm squeezed around her shoulders, holding her in place against him as he turned his face towards hers. His hand tracked down her cheek and neck, pressing gently against her skin and eliciting a gentle smile of genuine contentment.
"I think I just fell several notches deeper in love with you," Alex whispered softly, cupping his face in her hand and biting down on her lip at the look of surprise and nervousness in his eyes; she wasn't concerned, or surprised.
Unbidden, the three little words that she'd known should remain unsaid that evening had fallen from her lips after they'd finished, just at the same moment that he'd pulled the duvet up over their still trembling bodies. He'd said nothing, simply drawing her against him and pressing his lips against her forehead, his body quaking slightly; after a few moments, he'd tugged the duvet tighter, drew her ever closer, and although she knew he wasn't cold, she pretended to believe him, embracing him tenderly as he remained quiet.
Now he looked away, swallowing hard and running his fingers up over the flesh of her upper-arm. She didn't press him; instead she closed her eyes, hand dancing over his bare chest and shoulders as she waited. She was more than surprised when he broke it only a few moments later, his gruff voice soft as he held her close against him.
"Don't think I fell," he murmured quietly, voice slightly dry. "Think you hit me over the head an' I dropped like a sack of potatoes..."
Alex frowned, lifting her head slightly and unable to resist the chance to tease him, even as the weight of his admission pressed down upon her. "I hit you?" she asked, confused. "You like me because I hit you?"
"Twice," Gene said, stroking her hair as he spoke, half smiling to himself. "You always did look good in leather..."
Grinning despite herself, Alex shook her head, brushing a rebellious lock of hair out of his eyes and pressing her lips to the corner of his mouth. "I'm not wearing any leather now..." she pointed out.
Gene chuckled, resting his head back on the pillow and grimacing for a moment as his hand cramped with arthritis. "Nah," he agreed a few moments later, sighing softly. "But truth be told, I've always preferred you out of it..."
"You've never seen me out of it before," Alex pointed out, grinning. His eyes danced, hand finding hers and bringing it to his lips as he let out a soft chuckle.
"That's what you think," he murmured. With a wicked glint in his eyes, he sat up and slipped from the bed, leaving Alex alone beneath the duvet as he searched for his clothes, tugging on his boxers and vest before glancing back at her, his hair ruffled into disarray as she looked at him appreciatively; she saw him gulp, watched as his hand flew to the back of his neck, then grinned quietly to herself as he reached for his cigarettes and lit one up.
"You know they lower your sperm count?" Alex teased, sitting up and allowing the duvet to fall to her waist. Gene's eyes fell briefly to her chest, and then lifted to meet her gaze again; there was a sad smile on his lips as he shrugged.
"Wouldn't worry about gettin' pregnant then," he murmured, walking forwards to settle on the end of the bed; Alex moved forwards, settling into the crook of his arm as he went on. "The amount I smoke, the sperm rate's gunna be lower than a hookers knickers at an underground party." He lifted the cigarette to his lips, exhaling gently before speaking again, his hand tracking lightly across her collarbone as he went.
"Thought we'd 'ave more time," he admitted softly. "Y'know? If you ever woke up I thought we'd 'ave years..." he swallowed hard, and the following sentence was even quieter, barely even audible. "Christ, Alex, I still want you to wake up..." The pain in his voice made her look up, and a moment later her hand was on his cheek, her eyes watering as she bit hard on her lip.
"Gene, I can't-"
"I know!" He snapped suddenly.
Alex didn't move away, although he felt her jump in shock, and he didn't miss the hurt in her eyes. A moment later he swallowed hard, drawing her against him and shaking his head. "I'm sorry," he murmured. "It ain't your fault... I just- Christ, Alex! I've been waitin' so bloody long an' all I get is one night? I thought- I dunno what I thought... but this wasn't it, Bolly."
He stood up, heading out into the living room, and leaving a confused Alex on the bed.
---
When she joined him, Gene was sat drinking whiskey from the bottle. He looked up to find her clothed in his discarded shirt, which hung down to brush the middle of her thighs, and was unbuttoned to the chest; if he hadn't felt so shitty, he might have had the heart to compliment it. As it was he could only sigh, watching as she moved to settle herself on the arm of the sofa, her body turned slightly towards his, the curve of her breast showing slightly as she tentatively touched his shoulder. Gene managed a shaken smile, covering her hand with his and keeping his eyes firmly fized on her legs.
"I know you can't wake up, Bolly," he murmured quietly, swallowing hard in his throat. "I know that... I thought it'd be easier to know either way, but it ain't..." He took another swig before he dared go on. "What am I meant to do with myself, Alex? You'll swan off with yer daughter, marry some posh twonk with a spoon up his arse, an' I'll just stay 'ere like a bloody nonce!"
Alex's hand tightened on his shoulder, gently squeezing him through the fabric of his vest as she ran the other hand down his cheek and neck. "I don't know how this works, Gene," Alex whispered, shaking her head slightly. "I don't know if I could wake up again or not... I don't- I don't think I want to, but... But, Gene, I thought I'd lost you," she turned his face gently towards hers. "I thought I'd never hear your voice again, never see you, never tell you how I felt... But I did, Gene – I did... And I know it won't ever make up for how long you've waited, Gene, but I'll remember it forever..." Her voice cracked slightly, and she bit down on her lip as he turned his full gaze upon her, melting her insides with pools of blue so intense she felt herself quiver.
"I don't regret it," he said quietly, taking a swig of whiskey before going on. "I just-" He gulped, shaking his head again. "I just thought, if we ever got the chance, I'd get longer... y'know?"
Alex nodded, but didn't reply, allowing him to speak again and keeping her hand gently in his.
"Christ, Bolly," he murmured, placing the bottle on the table and resting his head in his now spare hand. "Thought I'd have ages... It ain't meant to be like this- you meet someone, you like 'em, you shag, you see 'em again... Ain't meant to be like this – it's meant to be... I dunno... slower...and faster... and- Christ, I don't even know, Bols."
Tears pricked at Alex's eyes, and without waiting to see his response she slipped into his lap, her arms going around his neck as she breathed deeply, mouth coming to rest against his ear. "I know," she murmured softly. "We missed a few steps- waited too long... lost time..." her sigh of remorse washed over him, and Gene's arms wound about her waist without hesitation, his head coming to rest on her shoulder as she combed her fingers once again through the threads of grey hair that had captivated her all night. "I know what you mean..." she murmured, eyes closed as tears leaked from their lids. "Half of the beauty of being in love's the journey, and it's like we've missed half of it out..."
Gene lifted his head slightly, his nose brushing her throat as he hummed his agreement. "Mmm..." he murmured, closing his eyes as he pushed her hair back from her throat. "The journey was pretty good anyway, though," he admitted, kissing the soft thump of her pulse and closing his eyes as she sighed against him.
"A little unconventional, though," Alex teased, stroking his strong back with gentle hands, aiming to reassure as he half-smiled against her.
He spoke softly, jokingly, and yet with underlying meaning standing out clearly. "If 'unconventional' is the twenty-seven year gap between our first fight and first kiss, Bolly, then yeah, we shoved convention up the arse of some old traditional bastard..." His eyes closed, arms tight around her back, and Alex relaxed welcomingly against him, her head resting lightly on top of his own as he paid particular attention to the hollow at the base of her throat.
"I should probably apologise to said 'old traditional bastard' then," Alex murmured. Gene glowered habitually as she repeated the familiar finger-waggle, his eyebrows knitting together as he drew back and looked up at her.
"D'you know, Bols, I do believe he died..." he said softly, hand on her arm as he grinned up at her. "Coronary failure or somethin' after 'aving that convention shoved up his arse..." He licked his lips. "Poor bugger..." he said unsympathetically, "Still, on the positive side, you can apologise to me instead..."
Alex laughed, shaking her head as he trailed off suggestively, leaning back into the cushions with a smile in his eyes. "You know, it might have been twenty-six years, but you haven't changed..."
"Glad you think so," he murmured, tangling his fingers in her hair. "But I ain't exactly a spring chicken these days, Bolly..."
Alex smiled, sliding swiftly from his lap and settling lengthways on the sofa, watching as Gene's grey eyebrows flew up into his hairline at the very plain view of her legs, and then tugging him gently down beside her. "Spring chickens are over-rated, Gene," she smiled, tucking her head into the crook of his arm as he settled at her side. "Besides," she went on, "I don't know any spring chicken that waits around for twenty-six years on an off-chance..."
"That's probably because most chickens don't live that long, Bols," Gene teased, holding her close. After a few moments, he added, almost as an afterthought, "an' stop makin' me sound like a poof; it's bad enough me knowin', but d'you 'ave to rub it in?"
Alex smiled, shaking her head and gently pressing her lips to his cheek. "Sorry..." she murmured, linking her fingers with his. "I just-..." she stopped, gulping hard, then turned away, as if unsure whether or not to finish.
"Just what?" Gene frowned, glancing down at her. "Bols?"
Alex waited, glancing up at him with indecision in her eyes, before sighing, shrugging her shoulders and wetting her lips with the tip of her tongue. "Why did you stay, Gene?" She murmured, keeping her gaze on his as she spoke. "I don't get it... Why did you stick around?"
She saw Gene's fleeting frown of confusion as it flitted across his facial features, but before she had time to clarify anything and apologise for her hapless phrasing, he'd swallowed hard against the horrific lump in his throat and started to speak.
"Guilt," he said quietly. "About sayin' that stuff... about suspendin' you... about shaggin' Jenette an' then shootin' you instead of her... about-"
Alex frowned, sitting up instantly. "You slept with Jenette?" she asked. "I mean, you actually slept with Jenette? I didn't just dream it up?"
He grimaced, swallowing hard. "If it's any consolation, she was a poor substitute..."
"But you did actually kiss her? I didn't just- I mean, I thought I'd imagined it... I mean, I felt it, but I didn't realize what I felt, and-!"
"Bolly," Gene interrupted, shaking his head. "I know you got shot in the 'ead an' all, but could you try an' make sense? It's like listenin' to the ramblings of a depraved alcoholic." He rubbed her shoulder in an almost patronising manner, and Alex sighed, biting down on her lip for several indecisive moments, before apparently deciding against whatever mental argument she'd been rehearsing.
"Nevermind," she said eventually, shaking her head. "It doesn't matter... you were saying?"
Gene frowned slightly. "I was?" He asked, blinking dumbly.
"About why you stayed?" Alex said softly, settling back into his embrace and resting her arm across his chest.
Gene gulped, shivering slightly, and then looked over her shoulder to avoid meeting her eyes. "Guilt," he said again, his voice dry. A few moments passed, and then Alex felt his arms tighten ever so slightly once again, his breath hitching slightly in her ear. "An' I missed you..." he admitted softly. "Weren't the same when you'd popped off to cuckoo land an' I was left watchin' Ray shag some Italian up the duff..."
Alex resisted the urge to enquire further about Ray's fate, looking up into his face and stroking his cheek tentatively, trying to ease away the aged lines of anger that had ingrained themselves upon his visage.
"I don't blame you," she told him softly. "If- if that's worth anything, then please, believe me... You don't need to feel guilty."
"Don't I?" Gene murmured dryly. "I shot you, didn't believe you, an' then low an' behold all your crazy bollucks about the future turns out to be true? I'd be pissed if it was the other way round, Bols."
"No," Alex answered, resting her hand across his heart. "You sent me home, Gene; you sent me back to my daughter... And I found you again... Even if it was only for tonight, I found you again..." She kissed him warmly, softly, ignoring his hesitance as she whispered gently to him, lips easing over his with gentle confidence. "I could never regret anything that gave me both you and Molly, however short-lived it was; you know that now... at least I hope you do."
Gene nodded briefly, and then glanced around uncomfortably, apparently searching for a topic change to offload the difficulty of emotional admittance. When none arose, he glanced down at her with a quizzical look on his face.
"Fancy a cuppa?" He asked.
A moment later, without so much as awaiting a reply, he'd pressed a swift kiss to her lips and then pushed off the sofa, leaving her alone before passing swiftly into the kitchen; he didn't see the thoughtful look on her face as she touched her two fingers to her lips, and instead he could be heard whistling in the kitchen as he moved to put on the kettle.
----
I'm ahead of schedule! Aren't you proud? :P
Hope it was alright, and thanks again for all of the positive feedback so far :D
Mage of the Heart