I'M SORRY!

I know I haven't updated in, like, forever. It's not that I forgot about this story or anything. I was lacking inspiration, and went through some tough times emotionally and mentally. I'm working out of them now, though, and I'm going to try to be better with updating!

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Sakura POV

I storm away from Kakashi. Who does he think he is, putting is masked nose in my affairs? I never asked them to come here, never asked them to derail my life. But seeing Naruto again….

Fine. I may have felt something romantic for him, a long time ago, before the war, before Sasuke's death. Not now. Not anymore. Certainly not on That Night. And now, seeing him here, I can't help but think of the times I almost loved him as more than a friend. At the tenchi bridge, when he lost control of Kyuubi when faced with Orochimaru. I was sure he was going to die that time, and I was more scared then I had ever been up until that point. However, when we saw Sasuke again soon after, all that faded. No matter what anyone said, or how many times the Uchiha hurt me, I couldn't let him go.

Now that I think about it, maybe that's why I left. When I slept with Naruto and found out I was pregnant, I remember feeling I didn't want to ruin the times we almost had. Or maybe I'm just trying to make myself feel better. He could have dealt with it. Koyumi would have a father.

I guess I really did just leave because I couldn't take the pain. Even just telling him Koyumi existed would be too much for my already broken heart. Just carrying and raising Koyumi has been incredibly painful. Sometimes I wish I had just put her up for adoption. Or even left her with Naruto. I just want to run away.

Of course I love her. I love her just as much as I love Sasuke, but that doesn't make it any easier. Every time I look at her I feel pain. I see in her everything I lost.

It hits me.

What if she went with Naruto? Lived in the Leaf? I know he would take her, and she has always wanted to go there, dreaming of being a ninja. The world is more peaceful now that Madara, Obito and the Akatsuki are dead, and the hidden villages are friendlier. She could have a good life.

And so could I.

Who am I kidding? The world is still dangerous. What if she becomes a ninja, goes on her first C rank, and gets taken by enemy ninja? Or caught up in some political scheme? Her comrades could betray her, and war is ever looming in this world.

I see a frighteningly familiar face in front of me, interrupting my thoughts. I almost scream, then I blink and I see who it really is.

"Sai."

"Sakura." He says blankly. "You thought I was Sasuke."

I start "Excuse me?!"

"You've got that look you always got when you would see me briefly and think it was him." He looks at me almost sadly.

"Whatever." I brush him off. "Are you going to lecture me too?"

"No." He replies. "To be honest, I wasn't terribly surprised. You've always been selfish and ignorant, at least as long as I've known you."

"That's not exactly a nice thing to say to me after so long."

"Well I'm not all that happy to see you. You did betray my best friend." He looks at me in that irritating, blank way of his. At least he isn't doing that dumb fake smile.

"I think betray is a bit of an exaggeration." I snap.

"Not really. You screwed him then ditched him after having been friends for nearly a decade. I don't need a book on friendship to tell me that's not good."

"You know what Sai? Shut up. You don't know anything about this. You don't know anything about love, or sadness, or heartbreak, or any god damn emotions in general! You have no right to tell me what to do!"

"It's been a long time, Sakura. I have a better understanding of emotions then I once did."

We stare at each other for a time. Well, he stares. I glare menacingly. Not that it makes a difference. He doesn't leave.

"What do you want, Sai? If you're not going to lecture me, and you aren't here to get all friendly, what do you want?"

"I'm curious. What do you plan to do now that Naruto knows about Koyumi? Are you going to run away with her? Or come back to the village?" He says.

"Neither. I'm never going back to that place as long as I live."

"So will you send her off with Naruto? He won't let you keep her so far from him."

"I don't want that girl becoming a ninja! I don't want her caught up in hate and war!"

Sai looks at me like I've grown another head.

"If it's war you're afraid of, she would almost be better off a kunoichi. At least then she could defend herself. Yes, there are risks. But do you really think Naruto would just let her go into it blind? He would train her himself, and make sure she knew what she was risking, without scaring her."

"Oh yeah? What if she gets taken to extract information by the enemy? I was a medic in the war; I saw what was done to some of those kunoichi." I spit.

"You think I didn't? Part of getting my emotions back is understanding the things I saw in ROOT. I saw these things happen too. In fact, sometimes I did the interrogating, and often did the killing. I never went so far as rape, but I didn't do any good to my victims."

"God damn it Sai, she's not your child! You have no right to be telling me what I should and shouldn't do with her!" I yell.

"No, but I do." Says a voice from behind me. I turn around, and see none other than Naruto himself, holding Koyumi's hand, looking at me sadly.

"You." I growl "You let go of her right now."

"No, Sakura." He says calmly. "You can't just hide her from me."

"And why not?! If I don't you'll just take her away from me!"

He looks stunned. "For god's sake Sakura, calm down! Do you realize how paranoid you sound right now? I'm not going to kidnap her! I just want to be with her!"

"Yeah, well, like hell I'm taking her to Konoha, and I doubt the up and coming hokage would spend much time here." I spit. "If she goes with you, she'll end up in the ninja academy. I don't want to watch her go through what we did!"

"Is that all you see it as Sakura? Suffering? Do you really not remember all the good times we had? Or did you stop enjoying anything after Sasuke died?"

I snort "I spent years training to bring him back. He was all I thought about! Of course I stopped enjoying anything!" I yell "I loved him more than anyone in the world!"

"I loved him too Sakura! Do you really think you're the only one? I LOVED him! I spent years casing him! It nearly killed me! How can you be so childish?!" Naruto yells, visibly upset.

"Momma, stop! You're upsetting daddy! I want to be a ninja, and I know it's dangerous! But I want to protect people, and you can't stop me!" Koyumi yells at me, tears in her eyes.

I stare at her, her big blue-green eyes full of anger. "Koyumi, don't you remember all those stories I told you? All those times you asked me about the Hidden Leaf, I would tell you all the terrible things that happened! How could you want to be there?!"

Koyumi looks me right in the eyes, the determination on her features making her a mirror image of Naruto. "Mommy, I know. I know all the things you told me about the bad stuff that happened. I've thought about it a lot, and I want to be a ninja to stop those things from happening! I want to protect people from stuff like that snake guy, or those Akatsuki guys, or whatever happened to that boy in the picture you cry about all the time! I want to help people mommy, and I will, no matter what you say!"

I look at her in shock. This is impossible. After all the horror stories I told her trying to push her from ever considering the ninja life, they just made her more determined.

"I see…."

I glance at her hand, which is clutching Naruto's.

"I understand now."

I give her one last look, and turn away. "You can stay with your father. Come collect your things tomorrow."

As I walk away, I can hear Koyumi's joyous shouts of "Daddy! I can stay with you!", and feel my ex teammates eyes digging into my back.

It doesn't matter now. Koyumi doesn't need me anymore, so I know what I must do.

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Dun dun dun….

I was really unsure of what to do with Sakura. I asked my friend (the only friend I have who likes Naruto) and our ideas ranged from Sakura being a robot, being Sasuke in disguise, being an alien, committing suicide, and I believe the idea of hate sex was thrown in there. None of these will be used, however.

Don't judge us. We came up with these ideas most either at lunch or in math class.

ANYWAY moving on from our weird ass brains, I am going to try to respond to reviews! I may not respond to really super short ones, thought let me send out a thank you now, as I love them too!

As long as I don't fall back into a emotional wreckage where I can't function too well again, I'll update pretty soon!

Thanks! Please review.

-Lynx