The Uke Flu

Chapter Twenty-Four: Hormones

By the time they arrived home Nowaki's phone had already rung over a dozen times. Despite the fact that his fifteen minutes of fame had passed a while ago, apparently the memory of the Flu's Kusama-sensei had not dissipated quite as quickly. Hiroki also had received a few calls.

"Just turn your phone off, Nowaki," Hiroki advised as they were removing their shoes after entering their apartment.

"I can't. What if the hospital calls?"

"Well, at least put it on vibrate then, so it's not ringing all the time." Hiroki flipped his own phone open and turned it off.

"What are we going to tell people?" Nowaki sighed. He moved over to the couch and sat down.

"No comment isn't sufficient?" Hiroki was glad, though Nowaki was obviously still unhappy, that at least the man was talking to him again.

"It didn't seem to be last time." Nowaki ran one of his hands through his thick black hair and then brought it back around again to massage the ever increasing stress headache in his temples. The word "twins" kept echoing in his mind.

"Like I said before, Nowaki, the press is only going to be interested in Yuki and that Shuichi character. Not us." Hiroki could tell by his the expression on his partner's face the man was not entirely convinced.

"Well, can't you tell them you were seeing a patient there, if they want to get personal?"

"What if someone decides to question the staff, Hiro-san?" Nowaki bitterly remembered the previous circus surrounding Misaki. "Those press people can be very determined if they think there's a story."

"But what about patient confidentiality?"

"Well, there is that, but money has a way of encouraging leaks." Again, Nowaki knew all about this from Misaki's case.

Several medical employees had revealed intimate information about the young man during his treatments, both before and after his pregnancy had been discovered. It had made Usami-san crazy. A number of the hospital staff where Misaki was being treated had lost their jobs because of their disclosures and the author had even ended up taking a few of these individuals to court.

"And besides, what would you be doing there with me?"

"I don't know," Hiroki shrugged. "Tagging along for the fun of it?" At this comment, Nowaki tilted his head to the side and raised an eyebrow in a look of open skepticism. Any other time this expression might have almost made Hiroki smile.

"Well, since the press doesn't know me… it could happen."

"So what do we tell the people who do know us, Hiro-san?" Nowaki stood up and headed towards the bedroom. He and Hiroki had another appointment together later that afternoon and he needed to get to bed soon if he was going to be able to get up and function at all at the hospital that night. Hiroki followed him.

"We might be able to feed the press that line, but there's no way that anyone who is really familiar with you would buy that story for a second." Hiroki frowned. While this was true, the way that Nowaki said it pained him just a bit. Per his usual response, Hiroki chose to alleviate his discomfort by getting angry.

"I offered you an option in the cab!"

"What, that you continue in your practice of lying?" Nowaki pulled his shirt off over his head. He didn't sound angry, just hurt and frustrated.

Nowaki started to take off his pants but stopped and crossed his arms over his broad chest in a manner that struck Hiroki as eerily familiar. Hiroki found himself momentarily distracted by the enticing image of Nowaki's jeans open and hanging just barely, on his giant's slim hips. Then he looked up and saw the hurt in his partner's eyes.

"Why didn't you just tell me, Hiro-san? It makes me wonder what else you're keeping from me."

Nowaki's question and his assertion hit a very deep place in Hiroki. There were other things that he had kept from Nowaki. Things that he assured himself were better for both of them, if left unknown to his partner. Hiroki had often told himself that this was his way of protecting Nowaki, but he was aware on another level, as with most everything he did, what he was really guarding was his own pride.

Hiroki couldn't stop himself. The words that came out of his mouth were not the ones he really wanted to say. "Nowaki, you're just being ridiculous now. I'm not going to discuss anything with you when you're obviously in such an overly emotional state."

Hiroki winced inwardly, first at the realization of what he had just said, then outwardly as he looked up and caught the expression in Nowaki's dark eyes. The younger man just looked at him before turning away, shaking his head.

One of the many differences between the two men was in the way each expressed his anger. For Hiroki his volume raised in accordance with his fury, escalating ultimately into a place of violent silence. While Nowaki rarely got angry, when he did his volume decreased so that the quieter he became the more dangerous the man was. Once his articulations became inaudible, that was when the greatest risk for a physical explosion was present.

Nowaki's voice was soft now and it sent a chill up Hiroki's spine. "So first I am an idiot, and now I am ridiculous and overly emotional?"

"Nowaki…" Hiroki held his own voice much lower than normal.

"I never called you an idiot. I mean, okay, so I call you an idiot all the time, but not like that and not this time. You misunderstood and I am sure that your present unreasonableness is just because of…"

"Don't!" Nowaki's tone was suddenly so sharp it made Hiroki jump. Then his voice became quieter again.

"Don't you dare diminish how I am feeling by blaming it on hormones."

"Nowaki…" Hiroki was stunned by this turnaround in his partner.

"Hiro-san," Nowaki whispered. "I suggest you hold anything else you might want to say right now until our appointment this afternoon with Dr. Kobayashi. In the meantime, I'm going to sleep."

Hiroki had completely forgotten that they had an appointment with their couple's counselor that afternoon as well.

God Damn it! He hated having to share information with that meddling headshrinker.

"Look, Nowaki, I'm sorry." Hiroki tried to make his voice soothing. "I know that we can discuss this reasonably. I don't need a mediator."

"Hiro-san, the mediator isn't for you. It's for me," Nowaki's tones were still low but now also incredibly sad. "I am afraid of what I might do right now if we keep talking about this and I would never want to do anything to hurt you."

Hiroki suddenly felt faint again. There had been a few times when he had seen his lover's anger directed at other people, but he had never once ever seen Nowaki be truly upset with him, until this moment. Hiroki didn't know what to do. His initial instincts were to fall to his knees and beg Nowaki for forgiveness or clap the younger man on the back and congratulate him for finally getting righteously mad at him after all the years he had pushed him. However, his ego would not permit either; so Hiroki just turned and stormed out of the bedroom.

He slammed the door hard on his way out. Then he leaned against the closed door for a moment waiting for his heart to cease pounding so hard. In his frustration he muttered.

"This is why I didn't want kids. They're not even here yet and already they're fucking with our lives!" Again, he knew he didn't mean it even as he said it.

Nowaki, however, who had immediately felt terrible for what he had said and had rushed to the door to try and catch him, didn't have this insight. All he heard were his lover's muffled but still intelligible words from his side of the door. Then he heard Hiroki grab his things and leave the apartment.

Nowaki just stood there for some time, resting his dark head against the cool surface of the door.

Then the phone in his pocket began to vibrate again. He pulled it out and looked at it, cursing himself silently for entertaining even the momentary hope that it might be Hiro-san calling already to say he was sorry, that he didn't mean any of it. Instead it was a number he didn't recognize.

Nowaki shut off his phone in disgust and threw it across the room. Then he crawled into the bed, not even bothering to finish getting undressed. He allowed the tears he'd felt gathering inside him to come. Though he understood medically that this new access to tears was most likely hormonal did not in any way diminish the pain that he felt. For the second time that day Nowaki wept because of the family forming within him, only this time it wasn't with joy.

So another new chapter. Hooray! Hope you're not too upset if Nowaki seems OOC in this chapter. Please remember the man is suffering from severe hormone fluctuations. Rest assured also that he will go back to his lovable self eventually.

Also, thanks everyone who has been reviewing after my extended absence. Nice to know you are still interested in the story.

Cheers,

Cerberus