Chapter One
Komui closed his eyes and sighed, rubbing his forehead with tense fingers as he tried to ease the growing headache from his mind.
What a nightmare this whole situation was turning out to be. He half wished that he had never helped Allen escape. It was a selfish thought to be sure, but life had become so difficult for everyone at the Order since Allen left that he felt justified in thinking it, if only for a moment.
He shook his head, which only served to aggravate his growing headache more. There really hadn't been anything he could have done differently at the time, and there was no way that he could have just handed Allen over to Leverrier, no matter how much easier it would have made his life since.
He sighed again, removing his beret and pushing his hands through his hair. He was waiting for a call from Kanda. The exorcist hadn't reported in for a couple of days, ever since he had been given the last mission, and he was starting to get a bit worried. Add to that the fact that Allen was supposedly accompanying him… well anything could have happened.
He wasn't looking forward to this conversation at all. Kanda had been out in the field for a little under a month now, and had avoided questioning about the incident. Until now, that is. Just an hour ago, Komui had Leverrier standing in his office demanding that the next time that Kanda reported in, he was to be ordered to return to Headquarters. It didn't look like the man was going to take no for an answer.
Komui didn't think that the exorcist was going to be impressed with that order. He didn't understand it himself- there was no reason that Kanda and Allen's lives should have become so entwined, but for whatever the explanation, Kanda, the only exorcist that seemed to hate Allen Walker from the very first day that he arrived at Headquarters, purely for being Allen Walker, now seemed perfectly happy to spend otherwise useful mission time in the company of the disgraced ex-exorcist.
Komui sucked in a breath as a thought struck him, or rather, the secret romantic within him- maybe they were… Nah, that couldn't be it, preposterous! It probably had something to do with Kanda's hate of Leverrier and his minions, which was bound to be higher than any level of hate he felt for a mere exorcist, no matter how annoying he thought that exorcist was. Komui decided not to spend too much time trying to understand the way that Kanda's mind worked, since that was just asking for trouble.
The phone rang, jolting him out of his musings and causing him to spill coffee all over the incomplete paperwork that coated his desk. "Hello, Supervisor Lee speaking."
"It's me."
"Kanda, thank goodness! I was worried something had happened to you!" Komui breathed a sigh of relief that transferred noisily down the phone line. "What took so long? Is everything okay?"
There was a pregnant pause from the other end before Kanda sighed heavily, sounding more exhausted than Komui had ever heard him before. What had happened to make Kanda, who was usually so reserved about showing what he was feeling, so careless about what he revealed. "We retrieved the innocence as ordered and destroyed the Akuma." Kanda stopped for a moment, but Komui could tell there was more to come and wisely held his tongue, waiting for Kanda to continue, and wondering what had happened to make Kanda so damn jumpy.
"The Noah Tyki Mikk was there."
Komui waited for Kanda to expand on that rather simplified report. Although the fact that the Noah had been there was alarming, it was not unexpected. The Earl and his minions were getting braver of late, so the exorcists were bound to run into them more often. Come to think of it, the increased activity of the Earl's army could be traced back to when Allen left the Order a couple of months ago.
"We were injured. And they recognised him."
Well, shit.
Komui was stunned into silence for a moment while he digested this news. What on Earth was he to suggest? If Kanda stayed out in the field, disobeying Leverrier's orders, then both of them would be in a whole heap of trouble. On the other hand, Kanda coming back to headquarters was tantamount to abandoning Allen for the Earl to pick up at his earliest convenience.
"Leverrier wants you back here, Kanda" Komui said. "They are still waiting to question you about the night that Walker disappeared." He hated talking as though Allen was a traitor, but the walls had ears and he didn't trust that this conversation would not make it back to Leverrier. It would not be the first time that surveillance equipment was smuggled into his office while he slept. Of course, maybe he'd be able to find them better if he could just see more of the room, but those damn stacks of paper were just everywhere! It was only thanks to this phone's unique design (courtesy of himself) that he could trust that no one could hear what Kanda was saying at the other end of the connection.
"That's bullshit" Kanda said frankly. "He's clutching at straws. There's no way I can leave now." 'There's no way I can leave Allen now' echoed unsaid.
"You don't have a choice Kanda. The orders are for you to return to the Order, and there's really no reason for you to be in the field. There are no current missions outstanding."
Kanda cursed loudly and violently over the phone line. "What the fuck Komui? Can't you do anything?"
"Orders are orders, Kanda. No matter how much you may like gallivanting all over the world, we are fighting a war here, not running a holiday camp." 'I wish I could, Kanda, but this is out of my hands now.'
"Fine" Kanda replied, obviously unhappy and not afraid to show it. "I'll leave tomorrow."
"We'll see you in a week then. Stay safe."
0o0o0o0o0
Allen stood at the window of his room, staring out blankly across the Parisian rooftops. What on Earth was he supposed to do now?
Kanda had left some time ago to call Komui, and there was a distinct possibility that Kanda would be called back to headquarters. What would Allen do then? He couldn't follow… even disguised there would be too much opportunity for other people to recognise him or his innocence, which of course was one of the most recognisable parts of his body. It would be dangerous for the others who knew his secret too- going back, no matter how much he wanted to, was just a stupid, stupid idea.
So, what to do?
Obviously he couldn't hang around here. He didn't think that Tyki could have followed him back to Paris, but the fact that Jo knew who he was made staying around this area dangerous- if Jo turned out to be as vindictive as Kanda had suggested she might, then he better move on soon.
This was why he had never wanted to start a relationship. There was no way to continue with it now- he and Kanda would have to separate sooner rather than later. He had told Kanda the truth that morning- he truly had no regrets about the night they had spent together, but he wished that their time together had not come to an end so soon. There was no way that he could continue each day without thinking of Kanda and the night they had spent together. He let his head fall against the glass of the window and sighed, his breath condensing and obscuring the view.
'Quite the dilemma, Walker.'
Allen froze, clenching his fists at his sides and screwing his eyes closed. The Fourteenth had been suspiciously quiet since the incident with Tyki and Allen had hoped that he'd given up on trying to communicate with his host. So much for that idea. He stayed stubbornly silent, hoping that by doing so he could pretend that the Noah had not spoken to him at all.
'Ignoring me won't make me go away' the Fourteenth said smugly. 'And pretending that I don't exist will only make the conclusion of our partnership all the harder for you to accept.'
Allen said nothing, mentally cursing the Noah with every foul epithet that he knew, and a few that he only now realised that he had learned. The Noah seemed to understand what he was doing, and a low chuckle reverberated along the mental link.
'I will win this battle of wills, Allen Walker,' the voice assured him with a great degree of certainty. 'You are only mortal after all.'
"I'm not going to lose to you" Allen growled, forgetting his vow of silence.
The Noah laughed. 'You already have, you just don't know it yet.'
0o0o0o0
Kanda set the phone receiver down with deliberate gentleness, though what he really wanted to do was throw the whole contraption against the wall. He clenched his hand into a fist and took a deep claming breath. It was going to be hard enough to go back and face Allen without being angry.
The calming breath didn't help much, but he felt more prepared to go back to Allen's room and pass on the news.
He walked up the stairs with a heavy tread, taking the time to pull himself back into some semblance of normality. By the time he arrived back at Allen's door, he didn't feel much better, but at least he didn't look like his whole world was crashing down around him.
He opened and closed the door silently, looking around quickly to see where Allen had gone when he saw that the bed was empty. The younger man was standing by the window, shoulders hunched and tense and hands fisted at his sides, his forehead pressed against the window.
"I'm not going to lose to you" Allen said, his voice low and almost threatening. Kanda stalled for a moment, thinking that Allen was speaking to him, but then he realised who the defensive posture and menacing words were truly directed at and sighed. He had thought that the Noah had retreated for now- certainly there had been little indication that the sinister presence was still forcing his mind onto Allen's in the last few days.
"Moyashi."
Kanda's voice made Allen start with surprise and he spun around, looking guilty. "Kanda," he said, sounding relieved. He seemed to realise that Kanda had been in the room long enough to at least catch the end of his internal confrontation with the Noah and grimaced slightly, but turned the conversation to the phone call that Kanda had just returned from. "How did it go? What did Komui say?"
"Leverrier's being a bastard. I have to go back."
Allen smiled sadly with understanding. "Of course. I suspected that Komui would have to call you back soon. It's not like you can stay out here with me forever, is it? There's work to be done and missions to complete after all, the war won't win itself, will it? It won't be so bad, out here alone again. Just because Tyki knows what I look like doesn't mean its any more dangerous than usual and I-" Kanda's hand clamped across his mouth, stalling the rambling.
"I don't want to go back" the older man admitted quietly, shaking Allen's face a little.
Allen said something that was muffled by the hand over his mouth. When Kanda removed it he repeated "I know. But you have to. I'll be fine, really."
"Stop lying."
Allen just raised an eyebrow. "I will miss you, if that's what you're worried about" he said with a grin. Kanda smacked him.
"Don't try and get away with this, Moyashi. I heard you talking to that thing earlier."
Allen waved the comment aside. "Oh don't worry about that. There's really no problem."
Kanda looked unimpressed, but let the comment slide. "So what are you going to do now? You can't stay here."
Allen looked around the sparsely furnished room a little wistfully. "I know."
"Where will you go?"
Allen shrugged a little half-heartedly. "I guess the safest thing to do would be to leave the country. I don't know how safe I am in France any more. I'll go to Germany perhaps, or Belgium."
Kanda pulled a face. The answer obviously was not to his liking, and Allen wondered whether he was thinking along the same lines- once they separated they may never see each other again.
Wordlessly, Allen reached out and took Kanda's hand in his own. "We knew this would happen eventually."
Kanda said nothing, but he didn't try and pull his hand free, inching a little closer so that their arms were touching.
"It's not like we'll never see each other again," Allen said, not knowing what else he could say.
"Che" Kanda turned away so that Allen couldn't read his expression.
"When… when are you leaving?"
"Tomorrow. Komui wants me back within the week."
"So soon?" Allen asked, disappointed. "I didn't… never mind, it's nothing." He looked around the room again. "I suppose I better get packing then." He turned away, making for the bed under which he stored his spare clothes, only to be stopped by a hand on his shoulder.
"Wait" Kanda ordered.
"What? I need to get my things together."
A mouth covering his own was his only answer as Kanda pulled him close, guiding him the rest of the way towards the bed.
0o0o0o0o0
A couple of hours later Allen lay dozing on the bed, basking in a sliver of sunlight that had determinedly filtered through the grimy window, feeling more at peace than he had in a long while, even knowing that once he dragged himself out of bed he would be forced to think about his imminent departure and separation form Kanda.
The older man was spooned against his back, one arm slung lazily across Allen's waist, holding him in place, breathing deeply with his nose pressed into Allen's neck, blowing puffs of warm air across sweat-dampened skin.
Every now and then a small snore would issue from the nose buried under Allen's hair, though Kanda would surely deny any such thing.
Slowly, Allen blinked his eyes open, gazing up at the ceiling through gritty, sleep-hazed eyes, smiling when he heard the little nasal snort that Kanda blew into his ear as he shifted positions and tightened his grip on Allen's waist, pulling him closer.
Allen's grin widened as he rolled over, tucking his head against Kanda's shoulder and draping his own arm over his sleeping bedmate. He knew that he should really start thinking about getting up and finish packing- Kanda had to return to the Order within the week and he had no desire to spend anytime alone in this room once Kanda had left.
He sighed and gave Kanda a small squeeze, trying to wring as much contact out of their time together as he could, before releasing his grip and sliding silently out of the bed, hoping to get ready to go without disturbing Kanda's sleep.
"Moyashi?"
No such luck.
Allen turned with a brightly fake smile on his face. "Sorry Kanda, I didn't mean to wake you."
"What are you doing?" Kanda asked, propping himself up on one elbow and staring at Allen with slightly accusing eyes. He seemed oblivious to the fact that the bedsheet had slid from his torso to gather at his waist.
"Nothing" Allen said with a shrug, turning to gather his belongings and shove them in the rough leather duffel bag that he had replaced his suitcase with. "I just thought that I should think about getting going." He shrugged again. "After all, you've got to leave soon as well…"
Kanda scowled at him, his sleep-relaxed face pinching into a frown. It appeared that Kanda was as reluctant to think about separating as Allen was. With a sigh, Allen continued to pack his bag, knowing that whatever they said to each other, they couldn't change their circumstances and it was pointless to try and convince themselves that this was anything but goodbye. The likelihood of them ever seeing each other again were infinitesimal.
When he folded his last shirt and shoved it into his bad, he let his shoulders slump and bowed his head. He reached out and ran his hand over the black exorcist coat laying on the chair beside his bed, letting his fingers linger on the buttons and trailing over the stitching, before lifting it up and holding it out for Kanda to slip his arms into.
Kanda wordlessly stood, leaving the sheets behind as he approached, taking the coat from Allen's hands and studying it for a moment before he began to empty the pockets, throwing the contents of his coat onto the bed. Allen watched in confusion as Kanda lazily tossed the innocence cube alongside scraps of paper that could have once belonged to mission documents and a few coins that tinkled as they bounced.
His jaw dropped as Kanda held out the coat in the same manner as Allen had done for him. "An exorcist needs a coat" he said tonelessly, giving it a little impatient shake.
Allen shook his head. "I'm not an exorcist anymore, Kanda."
Kanda smirked a little. "Yes, you are."