Sorry I didn't update as much as I usually do. But I am giving you a much longer chapter this time so it should count for something. Thank you for the reviews on the last chapter. And sorry for making some of you cry. I just thought it was very important to rip him open like that. All the effort that went into that chapter was worth all of your great feedback. I figured after all he went through in the last chapter that Merle deserved a treat ;) Poor man. Hope you enjoy this chapter! Much love to you all that are following this story and I absolutely ADORE those of you that let me know what you think. I look forward to hearing from all you regulars every day!

Chapter Fifty Seven

"You're kidding?" Carol laughed as she walked by the fence with Andrea.

"Nope. I swear it. When he came in his sleeves were gone, his shirt was untucked. And I think he tried to sound like Merle."

"Merle?" Carol lifted one eyebrow.

"Swear to God. He asked me how the fuck I was doin'. And I know that could come from either Dixon at any given minute but it was just the delivery, you know? He even kind of moved like Merle. You, know? That overconfident swagger? It was so... cute." Andrea laughed.

Carol nodded. "Did you ask him what he was doing?"

Andrea shook her head. "No. I slept with him."

Unfortunately Carol had just taken a drink of water and it spewed from her mouth as she laughed. "You didn't!"

Andrea nodded. "I did. It just seemed like he was trying to impress me. And I told you the other day how much I like him. I just didn't want to scare him."

"I knew the no sleeves thing turned you on." Carol bumped her shoulder.

Andrea gave her a look and then laughed. It was nice to be out in the open, talking to her friend. Daryl had been following her and Sophia around for most of the morning and it was driving her crazy. Not that she she didn't want him around but she didn't want him hovering. And he was hovering. He had even helped her cook for everyone and then helped her clean up. She had to throw a fit to go off with Andrea. She even had to lie and say Andrea needed to talk about woman things. He just about tossed them out the door then. But he did make sure they both had rifles strapped to their backs first.

They had found Shane's jeep in the woods not too far from the farm. She still couldn't believe what had happened. She felt like an idiot for trusting him. No one had talked to Merle as far as she knew. Sophia had slept with Beth, Daryl refusing to let her sleep in a room alone and he wasn't sure when Merle would come back from the barn. Daryl was already asleep when she had heard him come in. It had been pretty late.

She had went in to check on him when she got up. Usually he was the one in their room bright and early, scooping up their clothes for them and cracking jokes. Not that she liked this new ritual of his, but she instantly worried that there was something wrong when he didn't show. When she found him still sleeping she decided to just let the man be, even though if she had barged in and started giving him hell as soon as his eyes opened it would have been deserved.

She actually stared at him longer than she had any right too. It was strange but in sleep, much like his younger brother, the hard lines of his face softened into something that looked very vulnerable. She had shook off the thought though. She couldn't imagine Merle Dixon having one vulnerable moment in his life. He had probably been born throwing punches.

"So, how are you handling this whole mess with Shane?" Andrea asked once the silence went on for a while. They had turned and was headed back towards the house.

Carol took a deep breath and looked up at the low dark clouds that they all had woken up to this morning. "I feel stupid for trusting him, for one. I should have listened to my daughter. And I feel bad that I stopped him from leaving. Merle could have died last night. Do you know what that could have done to my family? Daryl loosing his brother? Again. Sophia would have had a melt down. You saw her last night. That would have been at least partially my fault."

Andrea slipped her hand into Carol's and shook her head. "That's bullshit and you know it. You see the good in people. That's just who you are. There isn't anything wrong with that."

"There is when seeing the good in someone gets someone else killed."

"You saved Milton's life, Carol. You saved Daryl from himself. Shane was a grown man and he made his decisions. You had nothing to do with that. Maybe Lori did. Maybe she drove him to that point. But you had nothing to do with it."

"Have you seen her since she found out?" Carol asked.

Andrea nodded. "She's a mess. But it's hard to feel sorry for someone like that."

"I know. I still do though." Carol sighed.

~H~

"How did you escape?" Duane asked as the three of them tossed stones into the pond closest to the house.

Sophia rolled her eyes. "Told Daryl I was going on a walk with my mom and Andrea. I'm surprised he didn't pick me up and carry me right to them. He's driving me crazy."

Carl glanced at her. "He loves you. Your like his kid now." He said like that was an excuse for him to act like a watch dog.

"It's still driving me crazy." She grumbled. She turned to look at Carl while he wasn't paying any attention. He looked better. That was one thing about the way the world was now. You learned to move on fast.

"Stop complaining, Sophia. At least you have parents that care. My mom is locked up in a room somewhere and my dad is too busy trying to take care of everyone else to even know I'm there. And we both know Duane has it even worse than me."

Sophia's first reaction was to tell him to go to hell but she took a deep breath to calm herself. "You're right." She muttered instead. And he was right. She was very lucky. The luckiest person she knew at the moment.

"Just because our problems seem bigger doesn't mean she can't voice her own." Duane said in her defense.

Carl narrowed his eyes. "That isn't what I was saying." he said, sounding angrier than he had the right too.

Duane tossed another rock into the pond and then studied Carl for a few seconds. "That's what it sounded like to me."

Carl looked over at her then after giving Duane a dirty look. "Sorry. That ain't what I meant."

Sophia smiled and bumped his shoulder. "No problem, Grimes."

"So why do you guys think that guy was going to shoot Merle?" Duane asked.

Carl threw a rock. "Merle makes a lot of people want to shoot him. You'll see."

Sophia glared at him. "Watch it." She growled.

Carl ignored her. "You know. You should have met Sophia a month ago. She was always quiet and nice. Then here comes the Dixons and all of a sudden she turns into of them." He shook his head.

"Shut up, Carl." She hid the smile that threated. She would let him get away with it but only because she felt sorry for him at the moment.

They all three jumped as a loud crack of thunder broke the silence. Duane looked at Carl and Sophia with wide eyes. They both had their guns drawn. They caught each others eyes and nodded with a grin.

"Gettin' good, huh?" Sophia beamed.

"You know it." Carl said as he tucked his gun away, Sophia following his lead.

"Least I don't have to worry about much as long as you two are around." Duane said with shake of his head.

Sophia slung her arm over the boys shoulder and grinned as they made their way back. "Sure don't."

~H~

Merle had been awake for a long time. He heard the door open early and Carol had poked her head in to check on him. That had been a while now. Daryl had came too but he wasn't quiet and polite like Carol had been. He just barged right in with his hands on his hips and kicked the shit out of the side of Merle's bed and demanded he get up. But Merle refused, pretending to be feeling sick. He had studied Merle more carefully then and nodded, making the comment that he did look like shit. Merle could only imagine.

Daryl had left then but it hadn't been a few minutes later Hershel came in, changed the bandages and then wordlessly cleaned and applied ointment to his busted knuckles. The bandage changing was pretty basic. That was an every morning thing that he was used too but then the old bastard shoved a thermometer under his tongue. His brother must have told him that he was sick.

Hershel had told him that he wasn't running a fever. He could have told the old man that to begin with but he didn't feel like talking. He didn't feel like doing much of anything at all. Every time the door had opened he had been scared to death that it would be her. He didn't want to see her. Didn't want to talk to her. He wanted the fucking world to open up and swallow him whole so he wouldn't have to look that girl in the eye again.

He glanced towards the window when he heard a fierce crack of thunder. It reminded him of gunshots. And then that reminded him of Shane.

He wished that Shane would have shot him. Wished that Maggie hadn't made it in time. He wasn't afraid to die. He had never been afraid of that but he was afraid of her. Not her so much but he was afraid to have to look at her and know that she knew. She had to have came to her senses by now and decided that he was too big of a mess for her to deal with. He thought she would have last night but she had felt sorry for him so she did what she had to do to try to help him. And he would rather be dead than face her now.

He heard the door open then but he wasn't quick enough to pretend to be asleep again. He glanced over and there she was. Smirking at him like nothing had ever happened. He wasn't sure if that made him feel worse or not.

"I hear you're sick today." She shut the door and he turned his head so he was once more looking at the ceiling. "Need a nurse?"

He kept his eyes on the ceiling and shook his head.

"I ain't gonna let you do this." She said stubbornly.

He continued to ignore her. It didn't last long. She slid into the bed and then crawled her crazy ass right on top of him. She glared down menacingly. "The fuck do ya think your doin', girl?" He growled.

"Gettin' your attention the only way I know how too." She said as she leaned down into his face. "You need to get up."

"I'm gittin' there." He growled, falling easily into their old banter regardless of how much he wished she would go away.

She rewarded him with a smile. "That's a little better. But really, you need to get your ass out of bed. I ain't lettin' you lay here and wallow."

"Ain't nobody wallowin', darlin. And I ain't gonna be your little project either. What's done is done. Ain't much I can do bout that now, but I ain't one to tolerate pity. I'll put you on your ass before I have any of that."

"I don't pity you, stupid. Why is it so hard for you to believe that I might actually care? That maybe I like you. That ever cross your mind."

"Nope." He rasped as she readjusted herself so she was straddling his hips. "And you best climb right back off me 'for your 'ol man comes in here and catches you."

"Nope." She smiled. "Besides, he's asleep."

"Go away, Maggie." he said gruffly.

"Go to hell, Merle." She grinned, not buying his act at all.

He sat up quicker than she had expected and she grabbed his shoulders on instinct and stared at him. "Why's it so hard for you to take a hint?" He asked.

"Because I don't really believe that you want me to go." She said, finally sounding unsure.

"You ain't been turned down much have you?" he asked, trying to make her mad. He knew she would leave if he could just make her mad enough.

"I just wanna be your friend, Merle. I don't see any reason you would turn me down if that's all I'm askin' from you." her fingers played lightly over the tense muscles between his shoulders and his neck causing a pleasant chill to run down his spine and goosebumps to rise on his skin.

He shrugged. "I ain't never needed friends, girly. I got my brother. That's all I need."

"Your brother's busy. All you got is me." She whispered.

It was growing dark out with the gathering storm and both their faces were shadowed.

"Just you, huh?" It was easier for him to be with her now that the shadows were taking over. "That sounds real goddamn complicated."

"It ain't gotta be complicated. You make it that way, I don't."

"Yeah, you do. Puttin' all this crazy shit in my head. It's made things real fuckin' complicated from my end, darlin'." he said a low dangerous voice. He felt her stiffen as though the sound of his voice was scaring her. Good. He'd rather have her scared than have her pity him.

"I didn't put anything in your head." She was still whispering as though the gathering shadows demanded silence.

He chuckled low in his throat. "You think what happened to me last night was brought on by me? Nah, you woke somethin' up. Somethin' sleepin' that should have been left alone. I was fine. And now I ain't. And that's your fault. That complicates things."

"I ain't scared of you." Her tone defied her words and it made him feel better.

He knew it shouldn't but he wanted her to be afraid, needed her to be afraid. He was sure she would bolt then, what she did next definitely made the next thing that he was about to say stick right there in his throat. She peeled off her shirt and then grabbed him by the face and kissed him roughly. Her mouth was familiar now and he didn't hesitate before kissing her back and the taste of her mouth made his mind go blank. She shoved him back down.

"You wanna be my friend now, Merle?" She whispered in his ear when she finally tore her mouth away from his.

"I'll be whatever the fuck you want me to be." He growled as he undid the button on her jeans.

"For right now, right?" She moved her hips, causing him to groan.

Why in the hell had he wanted her to leave? He couldn't remember. "What?" He asked as he gripped her hip.

"You're gonna tell me what I want to hear and then once I let you fuck me your gonna go right back to hidin' in that shell, aint'cha?" She asked and then he realized that Maggie Green was an evil bitch. But Jesus she was hot.

"Stop fuckin' talkin', girl." He jerked when he felt her teeth nip lightly at his neck.

"Answer the question." She breathed.

He growled and with one arm he lifted her up and then rolled so she was pressed into the mattress by his weight. She gasped and to him it sounded half surprised and half scared. Good. She should be scared now. The girl should have quit while she was ahead. But she had insisted on fucking with his head. But he was done with that. She wasn't gonna get inside his head anymore. But he was going to get inside of her. At least once before he told her to hit the fucking door. He had too. He needed to take control of this situation. He had too because if he didn't he was going to lose his mind. She saw him naked. Vulnerable, broken, sobbing like a fucking child. She owed him. She should have stayed away and she didn't. Pushing pushing pushing him until he wanted to scream.

"Take'em off." He growled, maybe a little too harshly.

She stopped moving, eyes growing wide. But then she nodded and shimmied the jeans down her hips. He was on his knees now. between her legs, looking at her with eyes that he knew showed the hunger he was feeling. He couldn't remember ever seeing anyone so perfect in his life. And the only thing in the way was a flimsy wisp of black lace. Since Sophia was asleep somewhere else last night he had been able to strip down to just a pair of boxers. Just a couple more layers of cloth and he could have her. He could take back that control.

One hand or not, getting rid of their clothes wasn't hard at all and once they were out of the way he was on her again, kissing her so hard that he wouldn't have been surprised if both their lips would be bruised from it later.

"Please don't be too rough." She whispered as soon as she felt the full size of him pressing between her thighs.

He chuckled low in his throat. "What's wrong, darlin'? Been a while for ya, has it?"

"I guess you could say that."

He took in her wide eyes, her tensed muscles and the way she was pressing the heels of her hands into his chest, like she was bracing herself.

He moved slowly, just an inch and then froze. Something definitely wasn't right. "How many men you been with?" He asked, dreading the answer that he knew she was going to give him.

She shook her head.

Son of a bitch! She couldn't be serious. Her? There was no fucking way. None. She was bluffing. That was all it was. She had probably had plenty of men. Hell, he didn't think there was a such thing as a virgin after the age of fifteen. He'd never met one. Of course he had spent his time around people of a much different caliber than this one. He'd definitely never been with one. He could go ahead with it. Fuck, he'd be doing her a favor. It was the end of the world, none of them were promised much time, especially now. No sense in checking out without getting your rocks off first. She was willing. Hell, she'd started it.

But he eased himself away from her. What the hell was wrong with him?

"Merle?"

He moved all the way off of her and covered himself up with the blanket. "Get dressed, darlin'." He sighed as he stared once more at the ceiling.

"What? No. Why?" She sounded shocked and hurt at the same time. She covered herself up quickly and then rolled over onto her stomach.

Merle couldn't help but look down towards the perfect little mound that was her bare ass under the thin blanket. He groaned and then forced his eyes forward. This wasn't helping. He took in a deep breath and blew it out slowly and then looked at her. The shadows in the room continued to grow darker even though it couldn't have been noon yet. "I ain't the man for that kinda job, girl. You don't even fuckin' know me."

Maggie's mouth dropped with an audible pop and then she really surprised him by laughing at him.

He glared at her. "What's so goddamn funny?" He growled.

"You. I would never have guessed it. You care about me Merle Dixon. You. Big bad ass Merle Dixon, too afraid to steal away little Maggie's virtue." She grinned.

He snorted. "I do not. I don't even like you. Now get your naked ass out of my bed. I got somethin' to take care of, thanks to you."

She giggled. "You care, Merle. You would've done it anyway if you didn't care." She moved over closer to him and ran a hand down his chest.

"Go away. Your the goddamn devil." He grumbled but when she leaned in and kissed him he kissed her back greedily.

She pulled away. "You're learnin'." She smiled.

"Learnin' what? That I can't stand you? I noticed that."

"You're kissin' me because it feels good even though you know nothin's gonna come of it. Feelin' things isn't bad."

His mind went back to last night and he frowned. She had it all wrong. Feeling things was worse than bad. He didn't get this girl at all. Didn't understand what she wanted from him and didn't understand why she bothered. He didn't understand why she wouldn't let him push her away or why, deep down, he always hoped she wouldn't. He wanted her around and he hated himself for it.

They were quiet for a little while but her tentative voice broke it. "After last night don't you think maybe I know you better than anyone else?" She whispered. "I think I do know you."

His whole body stiffened and his heart started to race. "You don't know a damn thing." He was remembering now why she needed to get out. She was going to hold this shit over his head for the rest of his life. Or at least for as long as he was stuck on this farm.

"You're wrong. I'm smarter than you might think. "She traced a long scar that spanned his stomach and then she traced it's twin. "I know what last night was."

He grabbed her hand in a steal grip. He didn't know if he was hurting her or not but he didn't loosen it. She needed to shut up. Why didn't she ever just shut up?

She watched him carefully until finally, as quick as he had grabbed her he let her go and looked away after glaring at her for a few more tense seconds. He expected her to be scared and bolt but of course not. Instead she threw her leg over him and was on top of him once more. Except this time she was naked and he could feel every inch of her that was pressing against him. Her chest brushing his as he tried to keep his mind off of other parts of her body that was touching him. But his concentration was faltering. Her face was only inches from his and he found himself wanting to kiss her again but he stayed still, not even touching her. "You don't have to pretend with me." She said the words slowly, like she really hoped they would finally sink in.

She could feel him tensing again. He knew he was pretending and as a new wave of anger washed over him, she kissed the side of his neck. The tension ebbed. His anger faded at the touch of her lips.

"The fuck you tryin', girl? Some kinda new sexy therapy? Every time I start to try to fight you off you cause the blood to rush from my head to my dick. Don't seem very fair. It's kinda hard to think with you all over it like that."

"I don't plan on playin' very fair with you Merle. I don't think fair would work." She mumbled against his ear right before she brought her mouth back to his.

He was trying to be a decent man. But she wasn't letting him. She had to keep pushing him. What did she want him to do? And Jesus, it was actually starting to hurt, he wanted her so bad. But he had to keep himself from touching her. He would let himself kiss her back just because he couldn't help himself, but he wasn't going to fuck this girl. No way. But God the ache was about to much to take. He ripped his mouth away from hers, he was nearly panting. "You have to get the fuck out. Now. This shit ain't workin' and you have to leave." Even he was surprised by the pleading tone in his voice.

"I ain't a complete innocent Merle. I think I can help ya out with that if ya want.

"Huh?" He barked as she rolled her hips.

"You said you had somethin' to take care of. I can help ya with that if ya want."

"I don't think ya know exactly... Oh, fuck." He swallowed when suddenly she was moving down, her lips lingering on each scar she came across during her descent, until finally she had him in her hand and he thought for sure he was going to lose it then. God he felt as inexperienced as his brother.

"Wow." She muttered, sounding a little uneasy.

He laughed and then covered his eyes with his hand, remembering what he had said to Daryl the other day when he caught him and Carol on the dock. But he ripped that hand off of his eyes and looked down at her when he felt her take him into her mouth.

"Where the fuck you learn to do this?" His voice sounded too high, not even sounding like it belonged to him at all and then he groaned low in his throat when her tongue began doing some pretty strategic tricks while her mouth worked on him greedily.

He grabbed the pillow and bit the shit out of it. Not giving her the satisfaction of knowing exactly how good this really was. Maybe she really was trying some sort of therapy on him. But fuck it, he could get used to this kind of head shrinking. This girl could try for the rest of her life to figure him out. He'd gladly let her.