Disclaimer: I can only claim the plot.
Chapter Five
The streets were filled to the brim with shoppers, house elves struggling under the heavy weight of packages while mothers and fathers shopped for their children heading off to school in the coming weeks. Theron, Sarah, and Tina were being uncharacteristically patient with Lily as she felt compelled to chat a moment with the various people she had come in contact as her duties as the minister's personal assistant. If she hadn't been so distracted, she might have picked up on it sooner.
"Guys, I'm so sorry," Lily said for the fifth time that afternoon as they pushed their way into the bookstore to get the required books.
"It's okay, Aunt Lily," Tina said as she salivated over the nearly new and new text books. Her fingers traced the embossing on the book closest to her.
"Why don't you two head to Uncle George's," Lily suggested to the two younger kids, giving Lily and Tina the freedom to wander the store and walk among the books without the need to hurry. The two skipped out of there before Lily had finished.
Lily and Tina walked into the crowded bookstore and began gathering the books Theron and Tina would need. Sarah would have Tina's old books, though Sarah didn't mind the hand me downs, Lily thought she'd like to do something special for Sarah as well. Tina was lusting over the shiny new covers of the new text books, and Lily went off toward the bookshelf where she first spoke to Scorpius. Her breathing halted as she imagined him standing above her, that look of surprise and contempt in his eyes as he wrongly classified her as a Weasley.
"Aunt Lily?" Tina asked, her hand on the witch's arm. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," Lily said as she brushed the stray tear she knew had betrayed her. "This is the place where Scorpius talked to me the very first time." Lily smiled.
"What did he say?" Tina asked clasping her hands tightly against her heart.
"He accused me of being a Weasley," Lily laughed.
"Why?"
"My hair," Lily giggled slightly. "It used to be more auburn than it is now."
"What did you say to him?" Tina sighed.
"I told him I was a Potter," Lily explained. Tina giggled.
"Did you know then that you loved him?" Tina asked. Lily shook her head.
"Not yet. It was a slow thing, and Scorpius wasn't on board with it at first," Lily sighed softly. She smiled. "It took a lot of convincing him that I wasn't too young."
"What really happened to him, Aunt Lily?" Tina asked as they queued up to pay for the books and have them delivered to Lily's home.
"He died, when you were little," Lily explained simply.
"I know that, but how? My parents never talked about it, or Grandpa or Uncle James," Tina asked frustrated. Lily blew out her breath, almost as if it had been knocked out of her. Lily saw a few people looking at them curiously.
"How about we finish up here, and then I'll tell you what I know," Lily promised quietly. "Tonight, when Sarah and Theron are asleep."
"Ok," Tina nodded as they pushed the books across the counter for purchasing, watching as the witch behind the counter conducted with her wand. The books stacked and packed themselves, wrapped in brown paper and twine. Lily handed over the gold coins, the witch took them and sent the books off to wait for them at home.
The two joined with Theron and Sarah, who were gleefully chattering with Great ol' one eared Uncle George over some jars of powder. He smiled at Lily, a twinkle in his eye as Theron tried to convince Sarah to be a test subject to the powder. Lily placed her hand on Theron's shoulder and he jumped, causing Sarah to giggle.
"How's my favorite niece doing?" Uncle George asked. Lily grinned.
"You don't have favorites, Uncle George," Lily pointed out as the old man kissed her cheek. He chuckled.
"But if I did, you'd be her," he retorted. He leaned forward, dropping his voice. "Lily is more like me than anyone else in the family, and she gave me the best birthday present. Ever."
"You did?" Theron asked her.
"You, silly!" Tina laughed. "You and Uncle George share a birthday."
"Oh yeah!" Theron laughed.
"I'd better get them going," Lily said as she put her arm around Theron's shoulders. "You look quite busy as usual, unless these two want to skip getting their wands today."
"It was great seeing you, but we must go!" Theron said loudly. Sarah nodded emphatically.
"Always great," Sarah squeaked out with a laugh and the two headed straight for the exit. Tina followed them out the door.
"You take care, Lily," Uncle George said and the smile slipped slightly from his face. There, beneath the whiskers and sparkling eyes was that same touch of sadness that plagued Lily's heart. George had lost his twin brother during the Battle of Hogwarts, so he knew better than most what it was like to lose a brother.
"Always, Uncle George," Lily said quietly as she headed toward the door. She turned and looked at him. "Will you be at Grandma Weasley's for my birthday dinner?"
"Honey, I wouldn't miss it for the world," he said and his eyes held that sparkle again.
"Good," Lily smiled and she pushed the door open, tapping it with her wand. She stepped out onto the cobble street and headed toward Olivander's, the only place any respectful witch or wizard should go to get their wand.
Lily waited patiently as Theron and Sarah both took a healthy amount of time letting their wands choose them. Theron grinned at her the moment boy and wand were united. She remembered that awe and the hum of magic between witch and wand, or in Theron's case, wizard and wand. She reminded them both that until they were fully fledged witches and wizards, they were not allowed to do magic out of school. Reluctantly, they boxed up their wands and headed to lunch before Lily pulled out the port key she had commissioned for the trip home.
While Sarah and Theron went to unpack their waiting school things, to play with the scales and knock on the cauldrons, Lily sunk into the chair at the table and Tina went to work making sandwiches. She kept tossing looks at Lily, and Lily was aware that Tina was chomping at the bit to continue the conversation started earlier. Lily rolled her wand between her fingers, thinking deeply. Hidden behind the wall in her room, a secret safe she had conjured to hide away the broken pieces of Scorpius' wand, still stained with blood.
"This is really good, Tina," Lily said with a smile as she tucked into the sandwich.
"Yeah, Tina," Theron replied with his mouth full of meat, cheese, and bread.
"Theron, don't talk with your mouth full," chastised Sarah. Theron swallowed, guilt written on his face. Lily grinned. Sarah would definitely keep Theron out of trouble at Hogwarts. Lily could only hope that Sarah and Theron were in the same house together, whatever it might be.
Dinner was filled with a lot of laughs, and Lily was struck with the thought that this would have possibly have been their every day meal had Scorpius lived. The house would have been filled to the rafters with children, the sound would have been deafening and the house never clean, but Lily couldn't imagine a happier way to live. She took a sip of water to clear the forming lump in her throat.
Once Sarah and Theron were tucked into their beds, Tina and Lily curled up in Lily's bed to talk. Tina wrapped her arms around her raised knees watching Lily raptly as she spoke of her love for Scorpius. Tina sighed and giggled appropriately as Lily went through the story, the push and pull of her relationship, hesitating only when her behaviors were less than model.
"Oh, Aunt Lily," Tina sighed, hand to her heart. "He sounds like he was the perfect boy!"
"Scorpius certainly had his moments," Lily promised. "But for every push, there was a pull, and every stupid thing he did, I forgave him."
"How did he die?" the whispered question gave Lily pause for a moment, despite knowing it was coming.
"Scorpius was an Auror, like your dad and Uncle James," Lily started quietly. She fiddled with a loose string on the afghan across her lap. "I don't really know all the details, being that Aurors are incredibly tight lipped about their careers. Our wedding had been postponed a few times already, and I was losing patience with the whole thing. Last minute, Scorpius was called away."
"Where did he go?" Tina gasped.
"I... I'm not really sure, to be honest. I have my suspicions, but I don't know for sure," Lily admitted. "I made him promise to be back for our wedding. I in so much threatened him to be back in time to meet me at the altar."
"But he didn't make it," Tina murmured. Lily shook her head.
"I was standing there, Damon had just presented me with my locket, and Uncle James aparated into my bridal suite," Lily explained. "He died in my arms, or basically so. I have never felt so lost, so in shock. I was in physical pain from the loss of my pregnancy, covered in his blood and bleeding from the pregnancy."
"Oh, Aunt Lily," Tina crawled toward her and wrapped her arm around Lily. Lily smiled through her tears and hugged her niece back.
"Before he died," Lily continued wiping the tears from her face quickly. "James presented me with the broken halves of Scorpius' wand. I knew between the blood and the wand, Scorpius couldn't have survived that. I could feel the snap of my heartstrings to this man I had fancied one way or the other since I was eleven."
"You still have it, don't you?" Tina inquired curiously. Lily nodded, climbing out of bed and heading to the wall. She touched her wand to it, drawing a square with a circle in the middle. The wall melted away to show a strong box. Lily held her hand up to it, hovering just above the metal panel. It opened with a long, complaining creak. Lily pulled out a box and returned to sitting on the bed, setting the box between them. Flipping the box open to show the wooden halves, still glistening as if the blood was fresh rather than stained and dried.
"I couldn't get rid of it," Lily confessed with an apologetic smile.
"We should have a séance!" Tina exclaimed looking over the edge of the case. Lily pulled back sharply.
"Tina, no," Lily shook her head. "I've mourned him, I've let him go. I don't want to drag up old feelings again and again, and I don't want to disturb him if he's resting peacefully."
"But Aunt Lily, don't you want to say good bye to him? I know they didn't recover his body from Argentina," Tina retorted. Her eyes went wide and she clamped her hand over her mouth.
"Tina?!" Lily cried out.
"Aunt Lily, I'm sorry! I shouldn't have-"
"How do you know about Argentina?" Lily demanded.
"I... I overheard my dad talking to someone, I don't know who," Tina rambled, twisted her hair around her finger. "I'm sorry, Aunt Lily. I didn't mean to say anything."
"Do... do you know anything else?" Lily asked hesitantly. Tina shook her head.
"I just know he and Uncle James were in Argentina, nothing else," Tina promised with tears streaming down her face. Lily hugged her tightly.
"I'm sorry I snapped, Tina, sorry," Lily cried. "Sometimes, though, I just think if I could talk to him. Maybe if I could find out why he died, I would feel less hurt and misery over it."
"I wish I knew more to tell you," Tina confessed as she hugged her aunt tightly.
"It's okay, Tina, really," Lily composed herself. "I'll finish the story, if you'd like."
"Please," Tina encouraged as she joined Lily in wiping away her tears.
"Damon and my friend, Marshall, I don't know that you remember him, he has been out of my life for a few years now, anyways they brought me home and cleaned me up to go to the hospital to see James," Lily explained.
"But I thought he'd died," Tina interjected.
"He had, but they were still fighting for his life," Lily explained. "I stood in the living room, where that big rug is now, and nearly bled to death from the pregnancy loss. I had an old wound that the pregnancy ruptured and if they hadn't been here, I'd have died."
"They saved your life," Tina murmured. Lily nodded.
"It was touch and go for a few weeks," Lily added. "When I came to, my brother was dead, my fiancée was lost forever, and my father had collapsed from a heart attack. He never recovered, though I can't blame him for finally succumbing to the life after. "
"He lost a lot of people," Tina pointed out.
"Yes, his parents before he learned to walk, his god father, mentors, friends, my mom, and I think losing James and the threat of losing me was just too much," Lily sighed, looking away. "They said it was a heart attack, but I know better. War had been hard on him, life had been harder, and I truly believe my dad died of a full broken heart."
"Aunt Lily, that's so sad," Tina moaned softly. "Do you think you'll ever heal?" Lily smiled sadly but shook her head slightly.
"Losing them, I think it finally broke me," Lily whispered softly. "I tried to date a few times after, when I thought I had grieved long enough. It never lasted long. Even Marshall, who had been willing to help raise Theron when I wasn't sure Scorpius and I would ever work out, couldn't survive the deep grief that seemed to plant itself deeply in my heart."
"Oh, Aunt Lily," Tina wept. "I wish you'd find happiness. You deserve so much. My dad told me how you held everyone together when Granny Ginny died and how you were the glue to the family for the longest. You're such a great mom to Theron, and I know that if you found love and had another child, you'd be a great mom to them, too."
"Oh Tina," Lily gasped shaking her head. She took a deep breath and splayed her hand over her stomach. "When I lost the baby, I lost the ability to carry any more children. It was a last ditch effort to save my life."
"Is there not a potion?" Tina begged. Lily shook her head once.
"There is something about the magic of life that no potion can recreate. It's not like re-growing a bone or a spleen. The brain, the heart, and the life organs are all unique and one of a kind, which no potion brewed can re-grow," Lily said softly. "To save my life, I had to give up bringing another soul into this world."
"I'm sorry. I didn't know," Tina whispered. Lily smiled softly.
"It's okay, Tina," Lily promised. "But it is a sticking point for many. I think that's ultimately the straw that broke the dragon's back when it came to Marshall. He wanted children and I couldn't give them to him."
"Any man who really is worth your love will be fine with it," Tina promised and Lily couldn't help but laugh.
"I'll keep that in mind," Lily said as she rose, placing the box back into the safe and drew the wand to sink it back deep beneath the plaster and paint, the wall healing until it looked as if there had been nothing amiss.
"How does that spell work?" Tina asked curiously.
"Need a safe for your room?" Lily joked. Tina grinned and shrugged. "I have it set up that when I draw the safe and then hold my hand to it, only one of my blood can open it. I figure family is safe to trust. When Theron was little, he used to hide stuff in there. I don't even know how he managed to draw the safe since he didn't have a wand, but I'm going to guess that young, innocent magic is different. I found a molded sandwich in there."
"Gross," Tina scrunched her face up and fake gagged.
"You're telling me," Lily said as she reached out for her niece. "You'd better scoot on off to bed. I'm sure Sarah and Theron will be up earlier than sanity dictates, and I have to be up for work early enough to warrant going to bed soon."
"Good night, Aunt Lily," Tina hugged her aunt before heading out of the room.
Lily double checked that the front door was locked and headed to her room. Dressed in her favorite oversized tee shirt, she climbed into bed and willed sleep to come. She stared at the ceiling, conjuring the hunger of her first kisses with Scorpius. She squirmed slightly at the thought of her first coupling with Scorpius, the heat driving her to kick away her blanket.
She closed her eyes tightly, trying to force the imagery of Scorpius burning her flesh with his touch. She tried to control her breathing as she clenched her body against the mental assault. Sheets gripped in her fists, Lily willed the need that her mind conjured as if Scorpius was there with her. She groaned as she felt the ghostly wisp of breath in her ear and her eyes shot open wide and she jumped up, looking around the room wildly.
She was alone, utterly and completely alone, but her heart pounded in her chest, her need throbbed deep within as if something had reached in her to curl the twists of pleasure and want. Her eyes searched the dark corners of her room, wildly, but she was as she first assessed, alone. She looked at her alarm clock, two hours had passed in a blink of an eye. She turned from her room, propelled by carnal awareness out of her control. She barely stopped to close her apartment door behind her, her bare feet falling silently as she ran down the hall, stopping only to pound on Damon's door.
"Lily?" Damon asked sleepily, scratching his bare chest as he peered down at Lily as she gripped the door frame for support.
"Forgive me," Lily whispered to no one in particular as she stepped forward, closing Damon's door behind her. "Forgive me."