I have had some fun with the development of Sophia's character. She was pretty much uncharted territory since they didn't give us much to work with when it came to her in the show. So, really, anyone could go any direction with her. She could have continued on being that silent scared little kid but there would have been no fun in that! I wanted her to want to be stronger. But in the process I've turned her into quite the hellion. But I love her anyway. And she eventually calms herself down. But not in this chapter. Hope you guys at least laugh. I did while writing it =) Thanks for reading and reviewing!
Chapter Sixty Eight
Sophia was having a hard time keeping up with what all of the adults were arguing about. It didn't make any sense. They were arguing about where to go when there wasn't anywhere to go at all. She was sitting between Duane and Carl on the hood of a car. There was a dead body in the drivers seat but none of them seemed to even care about things like that anymore. As long as the body wasn't trying to eat her it really didn't bother her at all.
She stayed close to Carl. She had barely believed it when Daryl had said that Carl had saved his life. She had to look at him in a whole different light now. Other than her mom Daryl was the most important person to her. Someone that she loved more than she even loved herself. And Carl Grimes had saved his life. The same stupid boy that just a few days ago was willing to march in the middle of a camp of psychos and ask for help. The same stupid boy that was willing to let Merle lay in that bed and die in that shack in the woods. But he wasn't that same stupid boy anymore. He had even lied for Merle when they made it out of the woods. Told the exact same lie that she had just been about to tell.
But despite all of that she also felt a little resentment. She hated herself for feeling that way towards him but at the moment, she did. She was just going to swallow it down and ignore it. But the truth was, she thought that he should have let her shoot that man. She had been relieved at first to know she hadn't done it, but now it just bothered her. Why did he think he could make that decision for her? She could have done it herself.
"What are you staring at?" he asked as his face reddened.
She shook her head and looked back towards the rest of the group. "Nothing."
Duane sighed. "You know, it feels weird. Last night when we were taking down those men, I knew we were doing the right thing. We were saving our people. And then this morning when those things were everywhere and we were shooting..." His voice trailed off as he glanced towards his friends. "I don't feel much like a kid anymore. I never thought I would ever have to kill like that."
Sophia searched his face but he didn't look upset. He just looked like he was thinking about it really hard. And then she sighed when she heard Carl agree.
"I never thought I would either. But we didn't have a choice. It isn't like it was. We have to protect our own. That's what we did. But I understand what you're saying. I don't feel much like a kid anymore either. Not after last night. Not after what I had to do this morning."
She tried to hold it back but she couldn't. Listening to them talk about it just made her even more angry. More than angry, she was down right pissed the hell off. She slid off the car hood and faced both boys with her hands on her hips. "I didn't get a chance to do a damn thing. I'm just as much a kid now as I was when I woke up yesterday morning. I'm a better shot than both of you. I know the guns better than both of you. And so far everyone is still treating me like I don't know what the hell I'm doing!"
Carl and Duane shared a look and then he tried to speak, "Sophia, I only..."
"Shut up, Carl. I could have helped this morning. Merle didn't even stop, he just took me straight to the first car he could find and shoved me in like I'm some baby that can't do anything."
Carl slid off the car and stepped right up to her so he was staring her in the eye. "I'm sorry." He said firmly. "But I don't blame Merle a bit for doing what he did. You being safe is a lot more important than you protecting everybody else."
"I don't need them trying to protect me all the time. I don't need you shooting men just so I wont have too. Just because you're a boy and I'm a girl doesn't mean that I can't do the same things you can. So stop treating me like I can't. I'm older than you."
He rolled his eyes. "By twelve weeks. That doesn't even count."
"I'm pissed off, Carl. It counts for now." She didn't even realize how loud her voice was getting.
Carl blew out a frustrated breath. "What do you want me say, Sophia? That Merle was wrong? That I was wrong?"
"Oh, like you would ever admit that." She snapped. She knew she was just lashing out because she was mad but she couldn't stop. She owed Carl, big time, but she wasn't going to give in. He should have let her shoot the guy. She had just as much, if not more, to prove than him or Duane did. In her own mind she was a Dixon now. She had a point to prove and as long as everyone went out of their way to keep her safe she would never be able to prove it.
"Oh, I can admit when I'm wrong." He said as he narrowed his eyes as his own voice grew louder. "I was wrong to think that I could have a conversation with you while your in one of your crazy moods. There, you happy now? I admitted it. I, Carl Grimes, was wrong."
"Oh, that's real cute, Carl." She glared. "So every time a conversation doesn't go the way you want it's because of how I'm acting?"
"No, of course not. How could that be the case when you're never wrong and everything that happens ends up being my fault?"
"Do you ever shut up? All you do is piss me off." She crossed her arms over her chest.
"Oh, like that's news! You're always pissed off. Why don't you go kick something and get over it, Daryl!"
"Maybe I will. And maybe I'll start with your ass you jerk!"
Duane cleared his throat."Um, guys?"
"You're not hitting me again", Carl glared. "If you try it I swear I'll hold you down until you get over it. You got away with it once, I'm not going to be your punching bag."
"Oh, like you even could?" She took a step closer until she was right in his face. This was getting out of hand. He hadn't done anything to deserve her anger at first but now he was really starting to get under her skin.
"I could. And I don't even know why you're getting so mad over this. You're more grown up than me or Duane. You prove it every day when you act like a crazy woman! Which is what you're doing now, by the way."
"Guys!" Duane said again, louder this time.
"Shut up, Duane." They said in unison without looking at him.
"Maybe I wouldn't have to act like a crazy woman if you two didn't act like a couple of infants!" She growled.
"Like you're doing now?" He countered.
"That's it. This conversation is so over. From now on you wont have to deal with me being like that because I'm going to do us both a favor and stay the hell away from you." She was nearly yelling now. "Come on Duane."
"So you get all crazy for no reason and then you think you get to run off with Duane? No way."
"Oh my god! You are such a child! He can hang out with whoever he wants." She glared at him and then looked behind him towards Duane who was simply shaking his head at them.
"Me? I'm being a child?" Carl looked at her with wide eyes.
"Yes. You."
"Guys?" Duane tried one more time and now they both glared at him.
"What?" They snapped.
Duane pointed to something behind them. Sophia turned around and felt her cheeks flush. Every single person in their group was openly either gaping at them or laughing at them. They had heard everything that her and Carl had said. She had been so angry that she hadn't even noticed the silence that had fallen over everyone. Everyone except for her and Carl. Duane had been trying to get their attention. Apparently this was why.
Daryl and Merle were wearing matching grins and her own mom was hiding a small laugh behind her hand. Lori just stood there with her mouth open like the idiot she was and Rick was turning red trying to hold in his own laughter. This was awful! The whole group was staring.
~H~
Carol was shocked at the scene that had just unfolded before her. All the times that Daryl had expressed concern over those two she had just shrugged it off but this sounded exactly like a spat between two married adults. Maybe she should keep a closer eye on them. But Sophia had really given the poor boy hell and she couldn't help but feel a burst of pride for her girl. She didn't have to worry about Sophia being like her. Or the way she had been.
She leaned her back further into Daryl's chest and felt him laugh but he tried to keep it quiet.
"I told you." He whispered into ear.
"She is definitely something else." Carol muttered as she felt heat from his body seeping into her back. It was getting colder out in the open and the heat felt good.
"Yep." He said as his grip tightened around her waist. "Should we go talk to her or somethin'?
Carol shook her head. "I think they have it handled. I don't see Rick or Lori getting overly concerned."
Daryl snorted. "Course not."
"So we head west then? For as long as we can?" Rick asked after Sophia and Carl had both rejoined Duane on the hood of the car with flaming faces. Rick had wanted to head east but there was nothing east but eventually the coast. If they had to scavenge for food and shelter they would be better of heading west. Everyone was split on what to do.
Dale had apparently taken Randal under his wing, throwing a tantrum when Merle asked if they were going to leave the kid on the side of the road to fend for himself. They no longer had the R.V. No one thought it would be smart to go back to the farm. They still had a lot of supplies and guns. The rest was just lost, which was sad but going back for the rest wasn't worth any of their lives. They were lucky only to have lost three. It could have been worse. Much worse.
Daryl must have felt her body tensing because he tightened his arms around her waist and put his mouth back to her ear. "We'll be fine."
She believed him, even though she wasn't sure how that could be. Their future seemed very bleak. More bleak than it had before. When they had to abandon the quarry they had another destination in mind and when they left the CDC they found the farm almost right away. This was different. They were adrift in the madness that was now life.
Merle, Maggie and Sophia were going to take the truck and Daryl decided that he would take the bike. With her of course. She had never been on the back of a bike before and she was a little excited. The thing looked mean and dangerous, but then again, so did the Dixon's. That meant that they could ditch the car that Merle and Maggie had driven from the farm and the bike was much better as far as fuel went. Lori, Rick, Carl and Duane were going to take Ricks SUV. And so it went on until they had the minimal amount of vehicles to have to gas up while still keeping things comfortable.
After scavenging through the cars once more for clothes and anything else they could used they finally gassed up. Daryl was already on the bike and Merle was digging through some of the bags in the truck and finally pulled out a jacket. He tossed it to Carol. It was large and worn. She held it up, realizing that it was a black leather motorcycle jacket. She felt silly when she slipped it on. It would keep the wind off of her and that's what counted. She gave him a smile.
"Who'da thought it? You look like a Hells Angel, darlin'." He grinned.
"I look like a kid trying on her dads clothes." She grumbled as she held her arms up. Her hands were hidden in the huge sleeves.
"Blocks the wind. That's all that matters." He slapped her on the ass and then walked away towards the drivers side.
She gaped at him and then glanced at Daryl who was just shaking his head, like he expected no less from Merle. She couldn't help but laugh a little as she climbed on and wrapped her arms around his waist.
She pressed her face between the wings that were stitched into his vest and then just relaxed against him. It actually felt good, being able to be this close to him and she didn't have to worry about Sophia since she was with Merle. She wondered vaguely why no one had found it strange that Maggie had volunteered to ride in the truck with Sophia and Merle but no one had. Even Hershel had simply kissed her cheek and walked away. Poor clueless man.
Daryl was worried about his brother but she thought that it was pretty sweet how close him and Maggie were now. Merle needed someone like her. It would be good for him to be with a woman that would put him in his place when he needed it. And everyone knew that Merle needed that all the time. If they could find some happiness in this messed up world then so be it. They deserved one another.