Chapter Sixty Nine
They had driven for most of the day. The sun was starting to set and everyone followed Daryl's lead, pulling over to the side of the road. They were surrounded by trees, which Merle didn't like at all. If they were going to be out in the open it was better to be out in the open where you see what the hell was coming at you.
Everyone started piling back out of their vehicles, stretching and grumbling about cramped legs and aching backs. He smirked. These people were in for one hell of rude awakening. None of them other than his brother really seemed like the type that had ever had to spend a real cold night outside with no shelter, no heat. They would have to burn any fires they had too low to do much good to any of them and he knew they had to be starving by now. He knew he was.
He made sure he kept his distance from Maggie. Sophia was between them the whole way so there wasn't a problem in the truck but he didn't know about now. Everyone was going to be huddled together and he figured it would be best if they toned it down and stayed the hell away from each other for a while. He hated that too because he had never even gotten the chance to return that favor.
Daryl was coming towards him and Sophia, pulling Carol along by the hand. Merle had to admit, Carol was a cute little thing in that jacket. He smirked at them. Daryl was such a pussy. At least when he held Maggie's hand he made sure no one was looking. Just then the girl came around the truck and grabbed his hand. Son of bitch.
"I'm gonna go check on Beth and daddy. You wanna come?" She asked with a small smile.
He shook his head and then motioned towards Daryl as he tried to pull his hand out of hers. Her grip tightened. Goddamn it. He glanced towards Daryl, who was scowling. Now he was gonna have to listen to his brothers bullshit. It wasn't like that old man had a farm that he could even kick them off of in the first place.
Just when he thought that the girl couldn't get any more ballsy she pulled his face down towards hers and kissed him, right there in front of God, Daryl, her daddy, and the rest of all them nosy mother fuckers that were now looking at them. But mother fuck could this girl kiss, she kissed him completely stupid because he stopped worrying about everyone else and started kissing her back.
She was the one to pull away first and then she winked. "I figure that I would either have to stay away from you for good, sneak around behind everybodies back or say to hell with it. So I say to hell with it. Now, go on and throw your fit real quick before I go and get the lecture of my life for foolin' around with a dangerous Dixon."
"Goddamn it, girl." he growled and then glanced around. Everyone was acting busy. Some looking at the ground, others looking up at the sky or off towards the trees. Everyone except for Hershel who was staring, open mouthed, at them.
"He'll get over it." She said softly.
"Why the fuck did'ya go and do that for?" He hissed.
"Because I ain't gonna stay away from you. I don't want to and so I ain't. I ain't sneakin' around with you either." She turned around and walked away then. Not giving him a chance to say another word even though he had plenty to say.
"Looks like you done fucked up, brother." Daryl muttered as he turned and looked towards Hershel, who was now openly glaring at Merle.
"That old man is gonna shoot me in my sleep. The hell's wrong with that damn girl?" He shook his head and looked at Daryl.
Daryl just scowled at him. "You think maybe you shoulda thought of that before you screwed her?"
Merle felt is face pull down into a scowl of his own. "You don't nothin' about what the fuck goes on between me and her. Don't you fuckin' stand there and act like you do."
"Then what the fucks goin' on? If it ain't that then what is it?" Daryl countered stubbornly.
Merle was pissed. He wasn't going to stand here and get berated by his brother. The boy didn't know what the hell he was talking about and Merle wasn't about to fill him in on the shit that he missed. "Just drop it."
"I ain't gotta drop shi..."
"Daryl." Carol put a hand on his arm and he stopped mid sentence.
That was something that Merle could have easily messed with him about a few days ago. But not anymore. He knew exactly why his brother had shut his mouth when he did. He shoved away from the truck and walked towards the others. He did spare a glance towards Maggie who was standing there with her arms crossed while Hershel talked to her. He was probably trying to talk some sense into her head. Hell, Merle didn't believe the old man had enough years left in him to accomplish that. She was stubborn. Wouldn't listen to a damn thing anybody had to say.
Everyone was starting to gather around as Rick started talking. Apparently the dumb ass thought that this would be a good time to let everyone know what he had decided they were going to do. That shit was getting old real quick. Who the fuck did he think he was? So the fuck what if he used to be a cop. That shit didn't matter anymore. But Merle kept his mouth shut, just like he had told Sophia he would do.
"Are you mad?"
He looked down and there Maggie was, her expression serious. He grunted and looked away, back towards the jackass in the cop suit. "I doubt I'm as pissed as your daddy over there."
"He ain't mad anymore."
He shot her a look and then sighed. He hated this. He was still standing pretty far away from everyone else so he wasn't worried about anybody listening when he finally turned to face her. His arms were crossed over his chest. "What do ya want from me, Maggie?"
He had to just come right out and ask her. It was one thing to mess around. Sneaking off to cop a feel like a damn middle school kid. But this was turning into something a lot different and he didn't know what to do with it. He wasn't what she needed. He studied her face as her expression went from cautious to hurt. He was tired of trying to fight it, but he was terrified to embrace it. None of it made any sense to him.
She was quiet for a long time. Studying him just as intently as he had been studying her. Then she raised her chin and her eyes hardened a bit. "You. All I want from you is you, Merle."
Now what the fuck was he suppose to make of that?
"Merle!" Daryl called from somewhere in the throng of people that were gathered around Rick.
His eyes held hers for a few more seconds before he just turned and walked away. He didn't have anything else to say to her. Not right now. Maybe not ever.
~H~
Daryl squinted as he watched Merle walk away from the girl. Maggie was watching him walk away with a sad look on her face and Daryl couldn't help but wonder what the hell Merle had said to her. That move she had made was pretty brave. Stupid, but brave. Merle wasn't the type of guy that a girl needed to fall for. He was just... Merle. There really wasn't any other way to describe him.
Daryl met him half way and glanced back at Maggie once more. She was still watching Merle.
"What the hell was that all about?" Daryl asked as he gestured to where he had been standing with her.
"You're a nosy fucker, ain'tcha?" Merle snapped.
"Fuck you, Merle. You're the one messin' with her head, don't get pissed off and take it out on me."
Merle's eyes narrowed. Daryl knew that look well but he didn't avoid it like he would have before. He met it with a steely look of his own. If Merle was looking for a fight he would give him one. He didn't want too but he wasn't going to stand around and take Merle's shit either and to Daryl's surprise it was Merle who finally looked away. Glancing behind him and then facing him once more.
"I ain't fuckin' with her head you dumb dick. She's fuckin' with mine. Now what the hell ya want? I was busy."
Daryl snorted. "I gotta go on a hunt. We ain't got shit to eat and everybody's hungry."
Merle nodded. "Ya need me to go to?"
Daryl shifted from one foot to the other. And looked away. "No."
Merle frowned. "What the fuck ya call me over here for then?"
Daryl blew out a breath and looked back at him. "Can you look after'em while I'm gone?"
Merle's frown deepened. He could tell Daryl hadn't even wanted to ask him to do that but the truth was Merle was the only person that he knew wouldn't let anything happen to them and if he said no then there was no way in hell Daryl was going anywhere. But they needed to eat and he was the only one here that knew what the hell he was doing in the woods other than Merle himself. He looked like he was half expecting Merle to tell him to go to hell so when Merle just smiled slightly Daryl's eyes widened a bit.
"Sure thing, little brother." He shrugged. "Thought you were dead and I was gonna be stuck with'em for the rest of my goddamn life. I can handle it for a few hours." Daryl couldn't keep the shock off his face and then Merle was smirking at him. "What? Have I really been that bad? That you didn't even think you could ask me somethin' like that without givin' ya shit over it?"
~H~
Daryl was about to lie and tell him no but then decided against it because that was exactly what he thought Merle would do. "Yeah, you have."
Merle actually winced and was silent for a few long seconds before he regained himself. "I guess I earned that. A few times over probably." He sighed. "But I don't guess I did to bad a job on ya. Turned out to be a better man than I'll ever be." He clapped him on the shoulder and then walked towards the others.
Daryl was too stunned to move for a few seconds. What the fuck had just happened? Where the hell had that shit come from? Did it bother Merle that bad? Thinking he was dead? He shook his head, adjusted his bow and started walking away.
"Daryl!" He heard Rick yell behind him.
He turned around and walked back over to the group.
Rick pointed towards his left and T-dog waved. "Take T with you. No one goes anywhere alone." Rick said, his voice ringing with the finality of the statement.
"Are you fuckin' high? He can't hunt, he's scared of animals for Christs sake." Daryl didn't miss the look T-dog was giving him but he didn't give a shit a the moment. It wasn't like he was going hunting for fun. He had people to feed. He couldn't have T-dogs clumsy ass scaring away all the game.
"No one goes alone." Rick said again.
Daryl felt like kicking something. Starting with Ricks ass. He hushed that thought when he remembered that it was the same exact thing Sophia had said to Carl before they had all headed out. That fucking kid really was just like him. But he was too damn pissed to even enjoy that thought.
"I can do it, Daryl. You just have to show me what to do." T-dog said, giving him an annoyed look.
"We can't be shootin' guns out there. You got a bow on you? You gonna take down an animal with a knife?" Daryl growled.
Rick sighed. "I just want him to go as back up in case something happens Daryl."
"Is 'at right? Fuck you, Rick. If we starve this is on your head." Daryl spun around and stormed off towards the trees. He could hear T-dog hurrying to catch up with him.
"I'll keep quiet." T-dog said when he caught up with him just past the treeline. "You wont even know I'm here."
Daryl snorted and glared at him.
"I mean it. I'll keep my mouth closed."
"Shut it, Tonto. I got a kid to feed. You scare away anything I can catch and I'll feed her your leg."
"That's just nasty." T-dog shook his head.
Daryl grinned when he knew the other man wasn't looking.
~H~
Merle sat with his back against the trunk of a tree, Sophia keeping close but far enough away that she wasn't bothering him. She was smart like that. He kept an eye on her and Carol, just like he told his brother he would. He felt like a grade A prick. He was a prick for the way he was treating Maggie when in all honesty the girl didn't ask him for a thing, and probably expected him to deliver less than that. And then earlier, his own brother, the one person in the world that mattered the most to him, wasn't even sure if he would keep an eye on his woman and Sophia. It was then he finally understood how big of an asshole he really was.
He didn't know what he planned on doing about Maggie, maybe try to cut her loose for good since that would be the best thing for her in the long run, but he was going to make it up to his brother. His whole life Daryl was the one thing he gave a shit about and it was high time he showed it. He didn't know how but he would. As long as Daryl would give him a chance.
He looked up when he saw someone coming towards him. He was half hoping Maggie was coming over so he could finally tell her he was done with all of it. The thought made his chest ache. What a fucking pussy. But, to his sudden relief, that wasn't who was making their slow way towards him. Instead it was Hershel. He probably had a gun in that bag he was carrying. Coming to blow Merle's fool brains out for fooling around with his little girl.
When Hershel finally sat down in front of him the two of them looked at each other for a few long moments before Hershel started rummaging through the bag.
"You gonna shoot me now?" Merle asked, deadpan.
Hershel paused and met his eyes once more and then shook his head. "I'd like too."
Merle nodded. He already knew that much anyway. This wasn't news to him. "What'cha got in that bag if it ain't a gun?"
Hershel finally started sitting out the supplies that were now familiar to Merle. The old man was still gonna take care of the mess at the end of his arm. It was actually healing up pretty well and didn't look half as bad as Merle feared it would. He unwound the bandages without a word, but that was his usual way. Unfortunately his silence didn't last.
"Do you plan on hurtin' her?" Hershel asked after a while.
Merle leaned his head back against the tree and looked past the old man to the spot where his brother had disappeared. "No." He said, and he meant it.
Hershel glanced up as soon as Merle looked at him again. "I guess that's about all I can ask from a man like you."
"The fuck ya mean, a man like me?" Merle growled. He knew the old man had every right to be pissed off but he wasn't going to sit here and listen to any bullshit.
Hershel continued on with his work without glancing up again. "A man that, from what I hear, is about as dangerous as they come. You don't think I have a right to worry about my girl when she tells me she cares for someone that everybody in this group is afraid of?"
"You don't know me. Other than what you heard from somebody else. I suppose you heard that shit from Rick? Cause we know that mother fucker is a great judge of character. It was your daughter that had to put a bullet through his best friends brain."
Hershel just looked at him for a long moment and then went back to his work. "What are your plans, Merle? For Maggie."
Merle let out a bitter laugh. "Ahh, you know. Figure I'd get me a decent payin' job. Get hitched real proper like. Buy ourselves one of them fancy double wides, have about five kids."
Hershel glared at him.
Merle blew out a breath and looked away again. "I ain't got no plans, Hershel. Maybe I'll give stayin' away from her a shot. But she don't make that too easy. And just so you know, I ain't laid a damn hand on her. I never would hurt her. I'm a lot of things. I was a drug addict. I was a drunk. I'm a murderer. But I ain't never put my hands on a woman."
Hershel shook his head. "I never really believed you would. Maggie is stubborn, impulsive and as strong willed as any woman I've ever known. But she's smart. I have to give her that. If she trusts you then I have no choice but to trust you too."
Well, this was going in a whole different direction. He'd just told the old man that he has killed and it rolled right off his damn back. Merle didn't know what to make of the man giving up that easy. "Ain't no reason for you to trust me. And ain't no reason for ya to get yourself worked up either cause I meant what I said. I ain't got no plan in mind. Maybe keepin' her at a distance would be the best thing for now."
Hershel's eyes shot up from the gauze he was gently wrapping around the stump. "You know, for all you're flaws, I never took you for a liar, Merle." The old man said quietly.
"I ain't lyin'."
"You just told me you didn't plan on hurting my daughter. I think that's the very thing you could do to hurt her the most."
Merle had a sinking feeling in his stomach as the old man took his things and left him there alone once more.
Poor Merle. He's so conflicted. Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter because, for some reason, I really enjoyed writing it. I guess because I like writing Merle. Makes sense to me. Have a great morning! Thanks for the reviews!