The morning of the 24th of December began quietly and nice. The winter weather outside was just wonderful. The sky was bright blue and the sun shone. Everything was covered by a thick, white sow layer. It could be such a beautiful day but Thomas wasn't interested in the sight of the Christmassy world outside. He was still alienated by the…incident of the previous day.
How shall I interpret this?
Could it be that Thomas was right with his assumption and Jimmy really did begin to feel something more for him? He immediately felt the hope rise inside of him. For a short moment he allowed it to stay but then he chased it away. No, this was absurd. This couldn't be.
But why else should he have reacted this way? Why else did he hug me?
There are millions of possible reasons! He could have cried for various matters and just needed a bit of comfort.
Nevertheless…
The thought was just too wonderful.
Too good to be true.
Thomas sighed while he was dressing up.
You just think too much. There's a simple and obvious solution for this all. It lies right before you and you're just not seeing it because you're thinking much too complicated.
He looked at his reflection in the mirror.
You look like a wreck.
He washed his face but it didn't really help to dislodge the tiredness from his eyes. He tried to put on a cheerful smile. It felt forced and fake but he wasn't in the condition for more.
Merry Christmas, Thomas!
The smile faded. Thomas turned away from his reflection and went up to the door.
Well, then. Try to pretend as if everything's alright. Today's Christmas!
#
Thomas descended the staircase and went down to the servant's hall. The others were bustling about to prepare breakfast. But Jimmy was nowhere to be seen.
It's strange. Every time you're looking for him he seems to be untraceable.
"Merry Christmas, Thomas!"
Thomas raised his head. "Merry Christmas, Anna! Err…you're here that early?"
Anna gave him a wide smile. "Yes, Mr Carson ordered for us to come here earlier. He needs every one of us today."
"And I thought you and Bates would have a little bit of time just for you two today."
"Chance would be a fine thing!" Anna left for the kitchen.
Thomas followed her. He got along with her well now. Also his relationship to Daisy had grown friendlier and closer. Even with Mr Bates he could manage now.
Times have changed.
Chaos controlled the kitchen. The table was crowded with various very delicious looking dishes for the Christmas dinner.
"One always wonders who should eat that all" Thomas muttered more to himself than to anyone else.
"I can tell you" Daisy agreed.
"What can you tell him?" O'Brien entered the kitchen.
Thomas rolled his eyes at Daisy. She returned his shirty look with a smirk.
"Just that you could make yourself useful" Thomas said to O'Brien.
"Watch out what you're saying, Thomas" she replied sharply. The expression in her eyes was hostile. But in some strange way it cheered Thomas up.
"Leave him alone, Miss O'Brien. And take this over to the servant's hall." Mrs Patmore pressed a tray in the lady's maid's hands.
O'Brien shot her a vicious gaze. "Am I degraded to a footman now?"
"That was enough of disparaging comments for today, thank you, Miss O'Brien" Carson's voice rumbled behind them. "I suppose we all know how to do our work."
"Of course, Mr Carson." The expression on O'Brien's face grew even more sinister. To Thomas she hissed, "You'll be sorry!"
As for response Thomas gave her a smug smile.
As soon as she had left the room, Daisy, Thomas and Ivy began to chuckle. It was just too funny watching Carson cutting O'Brien down to size. Thomas threw an amused glance at Daisy. She returned the grin.
"What is there to laugh about?" the butler wanted to know.
"Nothing, Mr Carson. There's absolutely nothing" Thomas answered with feigned seriousness and a suppressed laugh.
"Good. Then I suppose that you all get back to your work. Immediately." The butler left the kitchen.
They all had to control themselves not to burst into laughter.
I didn't expect this day to be that funny.
With a content smile on his lips Thomas returned to his work.
#
The whole day things were put from here to there; trays were carried up and down. Thomas spent most of his time in the hall supervising the others decorating the room. He didn't cross Jimmy's way often.
Fortunately.
He didn't want to let this day be spoiled for him, even if he still worried much about his friend.
Today's Christmas! Cheer up a little!
The preparations for the feast were running at full steam. Everything had to be done until the evening and such as perfect as possible.
Carson seemed to be everywhere all the time and controlled every tiniest step they made. Thomas tried to ignore that decently but that wasn't an easy task when he had Carson looking over his shoulder all the time, inspecting his work.
He can make us drudge but he can't forbid us to have a little bit of fun.
#
The evening looked set to become quite funny. They were all together in the servant's hall; each of them with a glass of wine in one hand, chattering, laughing. Jimmy sat at the piano and played a light-hearted melody. Christmas seemed to have washed away all his dark thoughts, worries and bad mood. Thomas was glad about that. He was immensely relieved to see his friend so happy and hilarious again. While the family was celebrating upstairs they were having a whale of a time downstairs. Thomas hadn't been in such a good mood for ages. At least not for the last few weeks.
In the course of the evening they all had a couple of drinks. Molesley was the first to be drunk. Not before long he was slouched on a chair and snored loudly.
Molesley at his best.
Daisy, Ivy and Alfred danced and Thomas stood next to Jimmy at the piano, watching his fingers fly over the keys.
He plays marvellous.
Thomas could barely tear himself from his sight. The smile that had seemed so forced this morning now wouldn't leave his lips. He just felt good. All his worries were gone for the evening.
It got later and later. Carson and Mrs Hughes had already retired to bed and Anna and Bates were about to leave for their little cottage.
Thomas recognized how the rest of them got more drunk the later it got. He wanted to keep Jimmy from drinking too much but he didn't really succeed. Finally his friend was so boozed that he couldn't even walk straight. Thomas didn't let him out of his sight for even one moment. But when he was talking to Daisy his attention was diverted. When he looked up again, Jimmy was nowhere to be seen.
"Bugger!" he cursed under his breath. "You don't pay attention for one second and he's already…"
"What's the matter?" Daisy asked him with a wondering glare in her eyes, but Thomas had already left the room. He went down the corridor. Then he suddenly heard a noise which came from the kitchen.
A restrained giggle, a chuckle. Slowly Thomas approached the door. His hand grabbed the door knob and cautiously turned it. He cracked the door open and immediately froze totally thunderstruck. He couldn't believe his eyes! Jimmy was in the kitchen together with Ivy. They were obviously drunk. Ivy's hands were on Jimmy's neck and she was giggling non-stop. He was about to kiss her.
"What the…?!" Thomas spluttered. He had pushed the door open further in the meantime.
Ivy seemed to notice him. "Oops!" she said.
Jimmy turned around. The upper part of his shirt was unbuttoned. He stared at Thomas. Thomas wasn't sure if Jimmy even realized that he had caught him just now.
Thomas stood there rooted to the spot. Then he suddenly spun around and stormed up the stairs.
He ran to his room and slammed the door behind him. What did he think? Why did he let himself believe Jimmy had feelings for him for just one moment?
He's just like the others, Thomas thought bitterly.
Not a bit different.
And I thought he can't stand Ivy! I thought she annoys him!
Another voice raised in his head.
He's drunk.
But Thomas made it shut up.
What's the difference?
Suddenly all his words had lost their meaning. Everything Jimmy had said, what he possibly had meant. Thomas buried his face in the pillow. He tried to fight the tears which were coming up.
Bloody hell! How could he?!
He was finished with Christmas. The joy he had felt just moments ago had vanished. Thomas raised his head. He stared at the wall, a grim expression on his face. He could just as well get to sleep. He wasn't in a festive mood anymore. He took off the uniform, ripped off the shirt and threw it into the corner of the room. Finally he sank on his bed, eyes down. His mind was empty, there were no more thoughts.
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
He felt just like that. All of a sudden the tiredness overwhelmed him and the sadness and anger dissipated. He let himself fall. A tear rolled down his cheek. With an expressionless face he stared at the ceiling until he finally passed into a restless sleep.