A/N: Sorry this took so long. I was busy. 60 hours at night'll do that to you (especially when you sleep the other 60 hours, lol.).

Disc.: Borrowed world.

Chapter Fourteen

Lily felt unnaturally groggy and sore. She tried to remain still, every breath seemed to cause her some degree of discomfort. Even with her eyes closed, the lights were too bright. The gown she wore was itchy, and her feet were trapped under a blanket. She pulled her knee up slightly to find that she could only bring it so far before it stopped, cuff on her ankles holding it in place. She went to reach it but found her hands were bound to the bed. She might have struggled if it weren't for the blinding pain ripping through her body.

She couldn't remember a time she was in more pain. She couldn't even be worried about where she was or how she got there. The pain was unbearable, burning through her veins white hot. She kept her eyes close, clenching them tight to block out the lights. She could hear the beeps and sounds of somewhere familiar, but the pain removed all of her common sense and ability to think. She tilted her head back slightly, ignoring the feeling of ripping and screamed. She began to thrash about, the sensations of acid burning her insides while the fabric of her gown and sheet felt to be tearing off her flesh.

She twisted against the cuff that held her in place, a vicious circle of pain. Her screams echoed in the small room, bouncing off the walls and assaulting her senses. She was out of control, and somewhere deep in her foggy mind, she recalled a similar scene years before when her mother had been in this bed, tied down and screaming. She sobbed and choked on her screams, locked deep within her own mind.

She was oblivious to anyone, her eyes wide but unseeing at the bright flashes of light blinded her. Her body was in such intense pain she didn't register anyone's hands on her, the gentle brushes of fingers against her skin. She writhed and twisted, the movements tormenting. With each passing moment, she was in more distress than before. She pulled her head up as far as she could and slammed it back down, the pillow slipping out from under her head. She could hear the whispers of someone nearby, perhaps talking to her, but to her ears it sounded like a swarm of angry hornets in her head.

She screamed wordlessly until her voice was hoarse, never once stopping. She kept her eyes clenched shut, trying to block out the too bright light. She seemed to be of two minds, the rational side that knew if she could just get a hold of herself, she could find relief and the primitive side that was in a constant state of agitated reaction. Panic rolled in her stomach. Is this what her mother had suffered through for two years before she died? Had her mother been of two minds, the primitive one reaction to every piece of stimulus in ever increasing increments while her rational mind was locked away behind the closed doors, tortured and lost, until it was easier to surrender to the long sleep.

With each moment, the pain grew and she tried to close her eyes, to shut it out. Her hurting muscles refused to tire out, even with the ache of too much use. The door to the room opened, a man with brown hair followed by a female, both dressed in the lab gowns. She recognized the man, from somewhere, but her thoughts were too fuzzy and loud with all the screaming going on to think. He walked up to the side of the bed, looking down at Lily as she thrashed about.

Lily tried to make eye contact, but found her eyes wouldn't comply, which frustrated her and caused her to thrash about more. The female remained near the door and Lily wondered if she was supposed to know her, too. The man reach down and gently cupped her cheek, the tender caress felt like a sledgehammer to the side of her head and she immediately cried out. She locked eyes with him for all of five seconds, but in that briefest contact she knew he heard her. He immediately removed her hand and pulled his wand out, flicking at the lights. The lights dimmed to barely glowing and almost instantaneously the room grew quiet.

"Lily, I've paralyzed you for the time being," he told her leaning over her slightly. Lily knew that whatever he'd done, it must have worked. She was no longer thrashing about and the pain was ebbing away slowly. She could almost formulate thoughts of her own. He waved the other person off, taking the small rolling chair and rolling it up to the bedside. "Honey, I know you're in there. I don't know what happened to you, but I will heal you. Somehow, I will heal you."

Lily sighed softy at his whispered words and felt the edge of tension work its way out of her shoulders, her body unfurling from the pain and capture of her own mind. Lily rested, stretching out until she felt her fingers and toes and held on tightly to them. She flexed them, pausing for the flash of pain that was sure to come. She felt the dull ache of old sounds healed, and found herself surprised that the pain that had her screaming out was all but gone. She flexed her fingers, the skin feeling a touch tight and new against her new-found ability. A tickle on her nose had her reaching up to scratch it before she realized that she was no longer bound to the bed.

She slowly opened her eyes, the light still painfully bright as she blinked away what seemed like years of sleep. She wondered how long she'd been asleep. She closed her eyes again, trying to think back to when she'd fallen asleep. Her eyes snapped open and she winced against the bright light.

"You're awake?" a voice exclaimed and Lily clamped her hands over her ears, glaring at the too pretty girl in the red and white striped jumper. "Sorry. I've just never had one wake up."

"One what?" Lily croaked. Her mouth was sticky. "Water."

"Oh, yes, of course," the girl whispered rushing to the sink. The clink of her bracelet against the basin rang like the Tower Bell, and Lily kept her hands over her ears. The rush of water from the faucet sounded like rapids, and Lily sighed a breath of relief when the sounds finally ceased.

"Thank you," Lily said quietly as she drained the cup. The water was slightly metallic but her thirst didn't care at the off-tasting water. She handed the cup back to the girl who refilled it two more times before Lily had the edge of thirst seemed to wane.

"You've been asleep for a very long time," the girl whispered. The sensitivity seemed to be dropping in twain as she became more aware of her surroundings. Lily stretched and her body had that stiff feel from lack of use. She moved to stand and the girl pushed her back against the bed as if she were nothing.

"Hey," Lily protested.

"Miss Potter, you need to gather your strength," the girl told her. "Stay here and I'll go see if the healer is about."

Lily debated protesting but she was just too tired to care. She felt like she'd just completed a marathon and all she'd done is sit up and have a bit of a drink. She closed her eyes for a second only to be startled awake by the touch of a very masculine hand on her cheek. She looked into a pair of the most compassionate eyes she'd ever set sights on, and he smiled, melting her slightly.

"Hey there, sleepy head," he said quietly. "Dana says you woke up, and I see that you have."

"I was thirsty," Lily explained. He chuckled and Lily could feel it tingling in her feet.

"You've been asleep for a very long time, Lily," he explained. "The other healers thought that you'd never wake up, and that we'd have to put you on the floor where you and I took care of Frank for so long."

"Frank?" Lily frowned.

"Frank Longbottom," he explained. He seemed to search her face for something and frowned slightly. "Lily, do you remember Frank Longbottom? He was one of your favorite patients."

"Should I?" Lily asked as her brow puckered slightly.

"Lily do you know who I am?" he asked her hesitantly, and Lily was sure she saw something in his face that was more than a healer checking on a patient. That was there, too, but Lily could swear that under it was a bit of fear and heartbreak.

"You're the healer," she replied simply. His frown became more prominent. "Did I answer that wrong?"

"No, no, of course not," he smiled at her but something in his face atoned to the fact that she had answered the question very wrong. "Lily, you do remember that's your name right?"

"Yes," Lily nodded once. He smiled again, this time it was more genuine.

"Good, Lily," he patted her hand slightly "I'm your healer, Marshall Clocks." He paused as if expecting the light of recognition to light her face. Instead he was met with mild curiosity. He continued, "You came to St. Mungo's a while back. You were in rough shape and honestly, very few believed you'd pull through."

"How long have I been here?" Lily asked curiously.

"Four months," he told her after a brief pause. Confusion swept over her face and he continued. "You arrived through the emergency department, riding on a portkey. You were barely alive physically, and mentally... mentally we thought you might have already gone from this world. We've seen it before."

"What happened to me?" Lily asked as she wrapped her arms around her body.

"We don't know," Marshal admitted. "A curse, a jinx, a spell gone wrong? It really could have been any of a number of things. You came in without identification, shrieking like a banshee and half dead. The security force had to stun you several times before we could restrain you."

"Glad I don't remember that," Lily muttered to herself and he laughed. Something faraway sparked but dissipated when she to latch on to it.

"I happened to be on that night. You were really bad off," he explained to her. He hesitated. "I had to identify you, and even then there was a niggling of doubt in the back of my head. Do you remember any of this?"

"No," she told.

"After a few weeks of near-non-stop screaming, they were ready to throw in the towel and transfer you to the untreatable ward, but I convinced your family to allow me to paralyze you. I saw how broken you were when you came in, and what they'd done to you," he turned his head away for a second and Lily touched his hand. He turned and looked at her, concern easily read on his face.

"Hey, Healer Clocks, it's okay," Lily promised. He smiled slightly.

"Do you know how good it feels to be able to sit here with you, Lily?" he asked. She smiled uncertainly. He sighed. "The pain, a body can only handle so much pain, your body and your mind fractured. It took four months for it to repair itself."

"I feel fine," Lily offered with a smile.

"Your wounds have healed, but I think the scars remain," he explained. She looked down at her arms.

"It's okay," she shrugged.

"I didn't mean the scars on your outside, Lily," he explained. "Whatever was done to you, someone went to a lot of trouble to erase a big portion of your life from your memory. What's the last thing you remember?" Lily glanced down at her fingers as she thought back.

"I think I remember school," she told him with a small frown. "But even that is Swiss cheese."

"Do you remember... do you remember Theron Malfoy?" he asked her hesitantly. Lily could feel that tiny spark but if it were meant to flame to life, it was very disappointing as it winked out.

"I... I don't know," she started to get upset slightly. "No, I think I should but I don't. Who is he?"

"He's your son," Marshall explained to her. Lily grew angry.

"I don't have a baby! Why would you lie about something like that? This isn't a very nice joke, Healer," she cried at him. She clenched the edge of the sheets, twisting them angrily.

"Oh, I wish it were just a lie," he sighed. He stood and walked to the door poking his head out into the hallway for a second. He turned back to Lily, still angrily clenching the sheet. "Your son has spent his every free moment waiting for you to awaken."

"I don't have a son," she growled slightly. She glared at him as he held the door open and a little boy walked in, holding a bunch of flowers that looked to have been gripped too tightly at the stems. He hesitated slightly, his eyes on Lily. Lily stared back, trying to see the truth in the healer's words. The boy was young, but not so young that he shouldn't be in school yet. He had tussled blond hair, as if he'd been running his hand through it all day, and steely gray eyes, that were wide and pooling with tears.

"Mum?" He breathed, and though Lily knew she couldn't possibly be this beautiful boy's mother, her heart broke at the tone of his young voice. He tossed the flowers aside and launched himself at her, her stiffening slightly as he wrapped his arms around her neck, burying his face in her hair. She hesitantly patted his back as his little frame shook with tears. "Mummy!"

Her heart broke. For the moment, she wanted nothing more than to be this child's mother. She knew it was wrong to want to gather him up in her arms and cradle him, he wasn't hers to keep. Tears slipped down her face, dripping into his too blond hair. She shook her head with a sob.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she wept. "I'm sorry I don't know you."

"Mummy? It's me, Theron. T.C., mummy, please," the boy cried loudly as Lily began to pry his fingers free. She was sobbing along with him.

"I'm not your mum, I'm sorry," she cried and he sobbed harder.

"Mummy, why? Why? I've been so good, and I made Slytherin house, like you and Dad, and I'm making good marks," he wept. Lily clenched her eyes, trying to block out the boy fighting the healer from removing him. "No, Mum! Mum, please don't leave me. Don't send me away mum! Muuuuuum!"

"Why did you torture that poor little boy?" Lily demanded when Healer Clocks return. She was seething, anger rolling off her in waves.

"Merlin, Lily, that's the last thing I wanted to do to T.C., I swear. I loved that little boy as if he had been my own when we were together," Healer Clocks confessed. Lily leaned back slowly.

"We... we were together?" she asked. He nodded and opened his mouth to say something. "No, you said we were together, and you loved that boy, yet you let him come in here to face this shell of a person I am? How could you do that to him? Better to have let me die than this!"

"You don't mean that, Lily," he denied.

"Did you see his face? If I really am his mother, I've probably just damaged him for life," Lily sobbed. He reached for her and she slapped his hand away. "No, Healer. Leave me be!"

"I'll... I'll come back in a bit to check on you," he murmured but she didn't look up at him, just hugged her arms around herself, letting the tears flow down her face.

Lily didn't look up when he came back in again, followed by two men. She could hear them shuffling in, either trying to get her attention to look up or just busy for the moment. She frowned and laid her head on her arms, staring at the blank wall next to her.

"Lily?" her brother asked hesitantly, though his voice sounded older than it should have. She slowly pulled her head up off her arms and looked at him. Her mouth dropped slightly at the aged wizard standing there. Sure, he looked like Albus, albeit a much older, worn and weary Albus. He stood still, not moving forward until she opened her arms and welcomed him into them.

Albus embraced her, letting her cry in frustration. He couldn't make out anything she said, but for the moment that was okay. He just rubbed small circles on her shoulder while she sobbed. After a minute or two, the sobbing subsided and she took the offered hanky to mop the tears off her face. She kept one arm across her midsection while she looked at him.

"I don't understand what happened," she confessed with a slight shiver. Albus looked to the other man in the room, Healer Clocks fiddling with the chart.

"Healer, can we have a moment?" Albus asked him. He looked to Lily.

"I don't know," he said slowly.

"He's my big brother," Lily protested to him. "I never have anything to fear with him." Albus shot a guilty looked to the healer and looked away.

"Alright, but I'll be just outside," Healer Clocks warned. "I'll go check on your son."

"Fine," Lily sighed, not ready to deal with anymore of that at the moment. She looked to her brother, expecting him to launch into explanation or to assure her that he'd knew how to fix her head, but Albus wasn't looking at her. Instead, he was staring at the taller man who looked like a much older, aged version of that little boy. "Oh, Merlin. Please tell me that you and I didn't have that little boy together."

"What? No! Theron is not my son!" the man insisted in shock. "You don't remember me, then? I'm Theron's grandfather, Scorpius' father, Draco?"

"Scorpius?" Lily pondered that, again a flicker of something just beyond the edge of her mind. She shook her head when the wisps of memory were gone. All that remained is something about cake, a distant and faded gray memory from a life time ago. "I was married and had a child with this Scorpius fella? Where is he, then? Why hasn't he come to find out why I can't remember our life togther?"

"No, Lily, you two were never married," Albus explained. Lily gasped.

"I'm a tart?!" Lily gasped.

"Merlin, I hope not!" Albus exclaimed.

"No, you're not a 'tart', Lily," Draco assured her. "I've known you since you were a kid, and you've never once been a 'tart'."

"Oh, thank goodness," Lily sighed, her and to her heart. She looked at him carefully. "You're an Auror, right?"

"We both are," Draco explained gesturing to Albus and himself.

"Oh, you're an Auror too?" Lily surprise had her brother scowling. She wiped the look off her face and directed her attention back to Draco. "Mr. Malfoy, what happened to me? Why can't I remember, well, most of my life?"

"I have a theory," he explained quietly. He stepped forwards sitting on the very edge of her bed. She drew her knees up, circling her arms around them as she had as a child, intent on listening to him. "Lily who did you meet up with in Argentina?"

"Argentina? I've..." she thought hard, frowning. "I don't think I've ever been to Argentina."

"The portkey you traveled in on, it originated in Argentina," Draco explained.

"I... I don't know. I don't know what the answer to that is," Lily admitted with a shrug. Her face was full of honesty.

"If you'd agree, I'd like to try to use some legilimancy to see if there's anything that could be helpful," Draco explained to her. She looked surprised and glanced to Albus, who wouldn't meet her eyes.

"Is it dangerous?" she asked Draco. He glanced away for a second.

"It does not come without risks," he admitted.

"Albus?" Lily asked, drawing her brother's eye to her. "Would James agree to it?"

"Lily, James is dead," he choked out. "He died on your wedding day. Same as Dad."

Lily cradled her face in her hands sobbing outwardly, her whole aching body racked with each and every sob. Fresh waves of tears slipped between her slender fingers, causing drop marks on the too white sheets of her hospital bed. Albus moved to comfort her, but Draco was there, first, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close. She pulled back, screaming angrily at him.

"Someone's done this to me. Someone's has stolen in here," she screamed slamming the palms of her hands to the sides of her head, over and over. "Someone's stolen into my head and erased every man I ever loved, except you Albus. Except you? Why not you? Why? Why? Why Albus? Why?"

"You two are going to have to leave," Marshall demanded as he pushed them out of the room quickly. He went to Lily's side, but it was too late. She was spiral down, out of control, and all he could do was to wrap his arms around her and ride out the ride.