Mininotes for consistency: The Cyberman Incident down below is really just a random one and does coincide with DW's season 2 finale. On another note, errr, let's just assume the events of Torchwood Season 1 happen throughout a longer time span.

Neither with nor without you

Chapter 2

So much blood...

All around him, people were hurt, dead or dying, yet as Jack sunk onto his knees on the familiar pavement atop of Torchwood, only one person was on his mind. "John," he all but pleaded as he lifted the broken form of his friend and lover into his arms, "talk to me!"

Blood and bruises had scarred the brunet's handsome features. And yet, in spite of those horrible injuries, he managed sending Jack one of those heartwarming smiles of his. "I guess it's time, then, is it?" John mused forlornly as he weakly reached up to caress the Captain's cheek.

"Thank you, Jack," he whispered and closed his eyes, "for everything."

Only when some of the blood on John's face was washed away by tears did Jack realize that he was crying. "You can't do that to me, you idiot," he whispered in a broken voice, pulling his lover close in a desperate attempt to squeeze the life back into him, "You promised to stay with me."

"I'm not going anywhere."

His heart skipped a beat as his treacherous mind dared hoping for the impossible. Ever so carefully, afraid to break even more of this painfully fragile human body, Jack finally released his lover from his death grip.

Only to find John scrutinizing him from amidst the bedsheets with a curious expression.

Blinking, Jack could barely believe it.

No wound, no blood, only the wonderful view that had been greeting him every morning for a while. Just as the Captain allowed himself to grin in sheer relief at the fact that none of it had been real, John's expression softened.

"A nightmare, huh?" the brunet mused and reached out to stroke Jack's hair as he was pulled into another hug.

"It doesn't matter," Jack insisted, trying to reassure himself, too, as he rested his chin on his lover's shoulder, taking immense pleasure in every breath, every heartbeat, every everything that indicated that, yes, John was still safe and sound and so very alive, "Because I won't allow you to go anywhere, either."

John sighed at his lover's neediness, but as ever so often, he chose to go along with it and simply kept comforting him.

And Jack was so very grateful for that.

He had been disappointed the brunet had not joined his team, per say, but that had not stopped him from falling for the man. On the contrary; due to John not being involved with Jack's everyday business, at least most of the time, their time together had a wonderfully comforting effect on Jack.

Much like Gwen had Rhys, the Captain had found a safe haven in John, and for once...he could barely even believe how lucky he had gotten.

Back in the old days, Jack had called the Hub his home. But before he knew it, he found himself carrying a wardrobe into John's apartment that was meant to harbor his own clothes.

For whatever reason, Jack had decided to move in with his lover.

No, strike that, he had chosen to for any reason imaginable.

What they had was great, and lifting a heavy wardrobe up some storeys was just another step on the stairway to heaven.

"Jack, you can put it down now," John informed him from the other side of the cardboard box, and the Captain was more than happy to comply. Unfortunately, though, he failed to mind the position of his feet and released a loud howl as a hundred pounds of wood landed on his toes.

"Jack!"

John was at his side in an instant, lifting the package enough for Jack to free his throbbing right foot. "This'll hurt for a while," the Captain grumbled unhappily, shaking his foot with a pained yelp as if that would help.

The doctor, meanwhile, looked more concerned. "This will take more than a while," he informed Jack as he steadied him whilst ushering him towards the couch in the living room, "I'm pretty sure I heard a bone breaking."

Jack's breath caught for a moment as realization struck.

That short observation was all it took, huh?

They had been happy together, but this single mistake of his reminded him of the painful truth.

They could be happy for the moment, but in the end...it would not last.

They might spend decades together, but John would age. Eventually, he would die, leaving Jack all alone again.

A heavy lump formed in the Captain's throat, and the inquisitive glance he was receiving did not help at all. As Jack had allowed himself to drown in his impeding misery, he had not even bothered trying to keep John from examining his foot – which had, of course, completely healed in the meantime.

"You know," John began thoughtfully as he placed Jack's foot on the couch and sat down next to him with a strange expression on his face, "ever since I met you, I've been wondering what makes you so different. At first I thought I was just imagining things. After all, you've always felt familiar somehow even though I'd never seen you before."

Hesitantly, fearfully, Jack arched an eyebrow as John heaved a sigh. "But it's not just that," the latter went on and leant against his lover's shoulder, "There's always been something intriguingly off about you." He paused briefly and continued with another sigh, "but I guess I still didn't expect you to recover from such damage almost instantly."

The tension in his shoulders was far from gone, but Jack felt strangely grateful. "You're taking this better than I expected," he admitted.

John met his eyes. "How long do you already have this ability?" he inquired in polite curiosity, "Did you acquire it through Torchwood, or have you been born with it?"

Jack gulped. Just as he had feared, they were getting to the hard part. Carrying an eternity on your shoulders was one thing, yet he was not sure whether he had the heart to burden John with something as horrifying as that.

For a brief moment, he considered prolonging their delusion with some Redcon, but dismissed that thought at once. By the rules, he should have erased John's memories after any of their meetings. But even if he wasn't madly in love with him, the doctor had proven too valuable an ally for them to even dare abusing his trust like that.

But because he was madly in love with the man, Jack could not just lie, either. "I was born a normal human," he explained at last and pulled his lover closer to continue in a mere whisper, "but I've been like this for two hundred years already."

As John gasped softly, Jack closed his eyes.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you before," the immortal whispered, "I didn't mean to hide my condition from you," His voice lowered even further, "I've been trying to forget it myself. I don't want us to ever end."

Hugging back, John replied softly, "Neither do I."

He never got how John could be so understanding. Whenever something new came up, sometimes even before the actual Torchwood members had finished stomaching those new strange phenomena, the doctor would accept facts and act upon them.

Jack's immortality was no exception – John had simply nodded and accepted it as if he had been suspecting it in the first place, returning to his daily routine as if his lover had not just turned out to be a freak of nature.

As a matter of fact, Jack was grateful that nothing had changed. They could keep up their wonderful lives for a while longer.

Yet when he walked into the living room to find John staring off into the distance, he realized that not everything had stayed the same. The brunet had been doing that before – every once in a while, he would drift off, thinking deeply without even noticing his surroundings anymore.

Ever since Jack's revelation, though, he did it much more frequently. Worse yet, it was growing harder and harder to gain his attention. This time, only snatching the fob watch John had been fiddling with had the desired effect.

Blinking, the brunet frowned at Jack. "In a way, the fear of losing loved ones does explain your dreams," he spoke out of the blue, continuing a conversation they had had days ago, "even though they might as well be actual visions after all." He grimaced briefly before meeting Jack's eyes with a compassionate expression, "It must be hard, seeing everybody come and go."

Jack's face softened. It wasn't so much the truth in those words that touched him, but the gesture in itself. So he really was on his lover's mind all the time, huh? "It gets easier," he whispered fondly, "And as long as you stay with me, it's definitely worth it."

Albeit hesitantly, John smiled at last, "I'll do my best."

"So now that you know about my secrets, let's talk about some of yours," Jack drawled with a predatory grin and started examining the fob watch still in his grasp, "This, for example. It's possibly the only item in this household that's older than, what, five years?"

John blinked. "What is?"

Jack frowned and lifted his hand, "The fob watch." He'd only meant to use it to lighten the mood, but now that he had gotten to the topic, he had never really asked about it even though he had seen it in John's hand rather often.

Much to his confusion, though, the brunet frowned at it as if he was seeing it for the first time. "Oh, this," he drawled, "I didn't realize I still even have it."

Now Jack was even more confused. "But you keep holding onto it like an heirloom," he commented and examined the intricate pattern, "It definitely looks valuable."

Still, John shrugged it off. "I don't know, really, it's just always been there, and it's never worked, either," he explained nonchalantly and arched an eyebrow as an idea struck him, "But since you're so interested in it, why don't you keep it?"

Confused even further, Jack opened his mouth to protest, but was caught in chaste kiss instead.

"You've entrusted me with the truth about you, but I barely have anything to offer you in exchange," John explained and cast another strange look at the pocket watch still in Jack's hand, "boringly enough, this might as well be my biggest secret, so better make sure to keep it safe."

As John was grinning, Jack was speechless.

He was sure the watch meant more to John than he let on – which was all the more reason to accept his trust. Thus he pocketed the watch and whispered with a fond smile, "I will."

Even though John had diagnosed those dreams as a projection of Jack's deepest fears, the Captain had made sure not to let any of his team members set a foot on the square above, ever.

He knew he could not see the future, and he knew he was being superstitious, but with all the strange happenings around them, even knowing something meant nothing at all.

Due to his dreams, he had expected his worst fears to happen, if ever, where he knew it would happen: up above.

Not in a manufacturing hall.

John was supposed to be a bloody mess.

Not a man walking with a bullet in his stomach.

This was not his dream, thus John could not die.

"Don't make such a face," the doctor demanded as he straightened and walked up next to him with a bit of a limp he tried to hide rather desperately, "It barely even graced me."

Jack grimaced, but he did not contradict. He had seen the wound, and he knew from experience how much it had to hurt – and yet, John was trying hard not to show it.

Because they still had a mission to accomplish. They only had a vague idea of how to get rid of the cybermen still, yet they had to do something about it, no matter what. "Just hang in there," he demanded and added a soft promise, "I'll figure something out."

He was trying to reassure both of them, but in truth... his promises were no good.

And John's condition was deteriorating more quickly than he had anticipated. Just as another robot patrol rounded the corner, a sudden fit of coughs sent the brunet cowering on the ground with Jack kneeling next to him.

Had they crouched down a moment later, the bullets would have hit them directly. Had John not stumbled behind a crate, they would have been toast in an instant. Jack's eyes widened. Had they been lucky enough or...

"Accept your upgrade," the squad's leader droned, "or you will be deleted."

Even with the heavy footsteps approaching them steadily, Jack barely even heard them. Something did not fit, but more importantly...John was watching him in a pained grimace as he was holding his stomach with a hand that was already fully covered in blood. "We're vastly outnumbered, Jack, and I can barely even walk," he pointed out numbly, "We only stand a chance if you proceed without me. As much as I hate to say that, I'm more useful to you if I find a hiding place instead of holding you back."

Hearing those words, Jack's heart broke a little. Those were gentle words to put it – but he was pretty sure there was no way the human would be able to hide from these enemies. "We do this together or not at all," Jack ground out.

"Do what together?" John replied bitterly, "We haven't figured out a way to outwit them, and I..." He closed his eyes, "I don't think we will...not like this, and certainly not in time for all these people to survive this ordeal. I'm holding you back, so please listen for once."

Jack ground his teeth. Why was the man being so stubborn? "Don't worry about that now," he demanded in agitation, "Before anything else, I'll get you out of here. Even if we can't save the Earth, the Doctor will."

That actually got a chuckle out of John, if only a dry one...which quickly turned into another cough. "That mysterious friend of yours," he drawled and reached for Jack cheek, "Has he ever come for you when you needed him?"

As another painful bang registered in Jack's heart, his lover's hand lowered without ever reaching his skin. Rather, it traced the chain that was hanging around the Captain's neck to the fob watch he had taken on safekeeping close to his heart so very long ago.

"The Doctor will come," Jack insisted, positioning himself in front of John just in time to face a cyberman who was only going to ask them one last time.

He would stand up to them.

He would play along with them until he found an opening.

He would kill them all and return everyone to safety.

But first of all, he had to save his lover...even though he still had no idea how.

"Bring me to the cyber king," John suddenly announced as he struggled back to his feet, "I have important information...regarding a flaw in the upgrading process." Much to a baffled Jack's dismay, he even had the nerve to step forward.

"There is no flaw in the upgrading process," the cyberman replied tonelessly.

John inhaled deeply. "Then why has it failed with this man?" he asked, nodding towards Jack. The immortal's eyes widened. What kind of brilliant bluff was that?

Just as he started to see where this was going, though, the cyberman aimed his gun at him. "He is incompatible."

"No, he is not," John ground out just in time, "With just minimal adjustments to the upgrading routine...the target group can be enhanced tremendously. We'll need him for testing."

Thankfully, that was enough. "The cyber king will hear your words," the robot spoke, turned on his heels and led the way.

Meanwhile, Jack still could not believe what he had just witnessed. Breathing rather heavily, John was looking at him. "Can you sneak off?" he whispered as he readied himself to somehow walk, "I need you to cut the power supply."

Jack was at a loss. He had no idea how to protect his lover in this situation, even though he had sworn to, but it looked as if he had a plan, albeit not a good one. It was their best bet, though, and maybe, just maybe, it was time for Jack to trust his friend rather than patronize him all the time. He wanted to protest, he wanted details, but all he could muster was, "John, what the hell."

"I'm talking to them." As he started limping after their enemies, the brunet replied with a sad smile, "Isn't that what the Doctor would do?"

Jack's eyes widened.

It was exactly what the Doctor would do.

Either too lucky or too clever to be true, the Doctor would just keep running, laughing in the face of danger and spiting the odds, saving everyone by doing the impossible without ever revealing how he managed pulling something off that could never have worked.

That was what the Doctor would have done.

And miraculously, it was what John ended up doing.

Three weeks later, most of the damage had been repaired and the media had grown tired of the incident.

However, it still kept plaguing Jack's mind.

Leaning back in his chair, he glanced around his office, thinking. Paperwork, various questionable items...yet lastly, as ever so often, his gaze landed on a jar that held a hand.

He gulped.

In a way, the Doctor had saved them again – but in a different way. By even mentioning the time lord, Jack had triggered their success...at a price.

John had taken everything quite well, but not good enough to even mention how he had overcome the threat.

Asides from his own experience of following the initial instructions and some vague information from Gwen, Jack never found out how exactly John had found out about the hidden safety mechanism that forbade the cybermen to harm humans altogether, let alone how he activated it.

But for the first time in a relationship of nearly seven years, he did not dare questioning him.

John had bluffed their way out of a hopeless situation, because Jack had needed someone to play the part of the Doctor.

But...that was not John at all.

Chapter 2 - End