Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious

"Fuck." Jade cursed as she put her finger to her lips, she'd been trying to write a song when her hand had slipped, an unusually clumsy move from a careful girl. Subsequently, Jade had received a paper cut The sound of Jade swearing at the sheet of paper was interrupted by a soft ringing, Jade's head snapped up.
"Where'd I put my damn phone?" She questioned herself as she rose from her desk and began searching the messy, dark abyss. As she rounded the bed, the ringing got clearer.
"Gotcha." Jade smirked as she looked at her phone screen,

incoming call from Cat Valentine

Jade considered not answering, but she couldn't do that. Cat was just as messed up as Jade, just in a different way.
"What?" Jade asked snappily after answering.
"Hey." Cat said softly. "What are you doing? Do you wanna hang out?" Jade mentally groaned to herself, after her meltdown earlier, she really didn't want to talk to anyone. Not even Cat.
"I'm actually just about to head to Beck's." Jade lied smoothly.
"Oh, right... Have fun."
"You can come over later. Um, if you want to, anyway..." Jade stumbled, she wasn't sure why she felt almost nervous.
"Yeah!" Cat's voice became cheery again, and Jade allowed a sigh of relief to escape her lips.
"Well, bye." Jade hung up before Cat had the chance to say her own farewell.

The more Jade thought about her conversation with Cat only twenty minutes ago, the more she thought she SHOULD see Beck. Jade actually felt sort of bad for just leaving, Beck hadn't done anything wrong. It was Tori. Before Jade could allow herself to dwell even more on the 'perfect' Latina, she pulled her bag on and jogged down the stairs.
"I'm going out." She called as she reached the front door, Jade looked expectantly towards her father's study, no reply came. "Well, bye."

As Jade pulled up to Beck's RV, she began noticing little things. Something wasn't right. For once, both the family cars were gone, instead of just one. In fact, there was a stranger's car in the driveway. Maybe they just got a new one, Jade tried to convince herself. But this was one thing Jade couldn't act, there was a pit in the bottom of her stomach and she wasn't sure why. One of the lights was on in Beck's RV, great, at least he's here. Jade took a deep breath to calm herself, but as she tried to softly open the door, Jade realised it was locked. What the fuck is going on? The goth swung her bag around and began rifling through it, she continued the search until she pulled out a small, silver key. Jade took another deep breath before allowing herself to shakily unlock the door. She peered her head into the doorway, and gasped.
"What the fuck is going on here?" Jade asked, she couldn't let her tone betray her. That would mean Tori won.
"J-Jade! I, it's not what it looks like?" Jade scoffed at her boyfriend's response.
"Of course it's not, obviously Tori's just here to borrow your 'milk', that's why she's naked and riding you like your a fucking rocket. Right?" Jade stared between the two, both were naked, Beck was now sat straight up, a shocked expression lay on his beautiful face. Then there was Tori, Jade began spluttering hysterically, Tori had the same expression, yet she was still sat upon Beck.
"We're over." Jade's part was deceived by the crack in her voice, before the tears could trickle down, she ran out of the RV to her own car; leaving the door to Beck's RV wide open.
"Fucking perfect." Jade snarled as she slammed her own car door, it was heavily raining. Before she had time to start the car, tears began flowing freely down Jade's face. She let herself sob loudly, and for the first time in years, Jade felt somewhat free. There was still a few dark thoughts clawing at her mind, but she'd found a way to release them.

Jade sniffed as she opened her front door, she was soaking wet from the rain and tears.
"I'm back." She called, a crack entering a voice. There was no reply, Jade knocked on her father's study door after taking off her boots and bag.
"Dad?" She asked softly, carefully twisting the handle. There was no one there. Jade furrowed her brow, she knew her dad took impromptu 'business trips', but he'd normally tell her in advance. Granted, it was just when he was leaving the door, but it was still some kind of communication. "I need coffee." Jade muttered to herself, she turned the machine on and began wringing her hair out with her cold hands. That was when she noticed the note on the refrigerator:

Gone to France for business, be back in two weeks. There's money on the counter.
Michael.

Typical, no 'love you', he doesn't even call himself dad. Jade rubbed her forehead, today had officially been the worst day of her life. Jade grabbed her hot coffee and slunk upstairs, she didn't bother waiting for the liquid to cool before drinking it.

Jade sat aimlessly on her bed, swiveling the last of the liquid in the cup. She was deep in thought, she'd lost everything. The lead in the play, sure, she was the understudy for Hermia, but that wasn't enough to quench Jade's thirst for success and approval. She'd definitely lost Beck, not that she'd really wanted him in the first place. She'd seen Beck as a challenge, and Jade likes challenges; Beck was the boy every girl wanted, which meant Jade had to have him. She'd lose Cat to Tori eventually, and that hurt Jade the most. She loved Cat, the bubbly red-head was Jade's light in the dark. The only person that ever listened. Even though Jade could appreciate Cat, that didn't mean she didn't snap at her. She'll get sick of me, she'll leave me for Tori. Tori will treat Cat like she deserves to be treated.

Jade began going through her family's medicine cabinet until she finally came across what she was looking for. Jade took the tiny orange pill bottle and turned the bath water on, setting it to boiling temperature. A glint of silver from the side of the sink caught Jade's eye, she chuckled humorlessly and picked it up. "I forgot about you." She murmured to the razor. Jade held the razor on the pale skin of her wrist, it had been a year since she'd last done it. Ignoring the pleas of her own mind, Jade slid the blade across her skin. It stung at first, but then the pain felt good. A different release. Jade sighed shakily and hid the blade under a towel, she decided the bath was full enough and turned the tap off. Jade climbed into the tub, she didn't feel scared at all, in fact, Jade almost felt at peace. The water burnt her body, both her skin and the water were turning red. Jade reached to the side and grabbed the bottle. "See you soon, mom." She whispered before tipping the contents into her hand. Closing her eyes, Jade stuffed the small capsules in her mouth, she used a small glass of water to wash them down. She immediately began feeling drowsy, her eyes felt heavy and her stomach was churning viciously.

You win, Tori.

A/N: I'm sick today, so I was able to update quicker than I thought! There should be another chapter uploaded tonight, tomorrow at the latest. Keep reviewing, thanks for the lovely ones I received on the last chapter!

Also, italics are thoughts :)