Chapter Eighteen: iMake A Choice

From: MissMissy

To: SamluvzHam

Subject: Love Ain't Reality

I'm not sure if you still remember me, but it's Missy. You know, the producer for America's highest rated reality TV show Love Ain't Reality? Ringing any bells?

I'm sorry I didn't contact you sooner, but I was busy dealing with damage control after your departure from the show. It's not your fault of course. Everyone here in LA understands why you left. Out of respect for your privacy we only told the viewers that you were dealing with personal family matters.

Okay. So here's the real reason I bothered to email you. The producers want you back on the show. You and Freddie made for great TV and amazing ratings! You were a fan favorite, and the audience is wondering when you'll return.

You didn't hear this from me. This is classified information, and if anyone finds out that I told you, I'll be fired.

I hope you will consider our offer. We have never done this sort of thing before. You won't get this opportunity again, so choose wisely.

If I get fired, I'll have a lot of free time on my hands to plot your death. It will involve glitter. Lots of glitter.

-Missy

X

I shut my laptop and sighed. Was she serious? They wanted me to come back to that Hollywood mansion and share a room with a bunch of hell minions with big hair and short skirts? Compete for a stupid necklace every week? What, did they think I liked all my hair falling out because of all the stress? Watch Freddie kiss girls who aren't me?

Freddie.

Wasn't he a reason to consider going back? Sure, we hadn't left things on the best terms, but I hadn't forgotten he existed. Not even close. I closed my eyes and flashed back to our last moments together.

"Sam, I can't just forget what we had together. I know you still remember too. Those girls meant nothing to me, Sam. Nothing. I only want you."

"But that was a different world! This is the real world now, Freddie, and we don't always get what we want. Whatever we had in LA…it's over. You belong on the show and I need to stay here in Seattle."

We argued more after that, I think. Then I kissed him one last time. Right on the lips. He was surprised at first, and then his hesitation melted into desire. He kissed me back right there in the hallway of a hospital where Spencer was dying.

It reminded me of our very first kiss. I wish I could go back to that night and relive it over and over again. The way his lips had felt against mine, the way he made my skin wherever he touched me, his warm brown eyes blazing like melted chocolate.

He had made me feel safe that night. Somehow vulnerable and safe at the same time. Like his eyes could melt the cold blue ice inside my eyes…and for once I wanted him to.

But that night was long over. The kiss was so different the last time. It was still unbelievably good but this time I knew it had to end. I knew we weren't going to stay like that forever, locked in our world where the real world didn't exist.

"What am I gonna do?" I moaned, putting my head in my hands and groaning.

"Accept the sandwich, first of all," Carly laughed, walking into my room. She was carrying a plate with a ham sandwich on it. My favorite. But she knew that.

"Thanks, Carls," I said, taking the plate. But I couldn't force myself to eat it. My stomach was twisted in knots like pretzels. God, was this what missing a boy did to you? How was I ever going to eat again?

Love is just not worth giving up my appetite.

"I ruined everything," I whispered, sinking into a chair. "Freddie hates me now."

Carly frowns. "Isn't that what you wanted? You made it pretty clear you were over him before he went back to LA."

"You heard that, huh?"

"You weren't exactly quite, Sam. And I might have been eavesdropping just a little."

"A little?" I raised my eyebrows at her. "Come on. I know you better than that, Carly."

Carly smiled guiltily. "Okay, so we were listening to every word."

"We?"

"Yep!" Melanie popped her head into my room. "What? Did you think I was gonna miss that confrontation between you and Freddie Benson? I was tired of watching all the action on a TV screen." She flops down on my bed and grins at me. "So are you going back or what?"

My jaw dropped. "How do you know about that? It was top secret!"

Melanie and Carly snickered. "Well, James Bond, maybe you should get a better password than Meatballs."

"Or maybe I should get a better sister who won't read my emails!" I snapped. "You weren't supposed to read that, Mel. I don't want anyone to influence my decision.

Melanie hopped up and put her hands on her hips. "See? This is why I read that email! If it weren't for us you would never have gone on the show in the first place. You need us controlling your life every now and then."

I rolled my eyes at her and threw a pillow at her head, but she ducked just in time. "Gosh, I should be so grateful," I said sarcastically. "Do I need to remind you that you are also the only reason I have to make this decision now? I don't know what I'm gonna do!"

Carly, who had been quietly eating my sandwich, swallows and said, "You broke up with Freddie because he was still under contract with the show and you weren't anymore. But now you can go back!"

"And do what?" I asked. "Throw myself at him until he decides I'm not good enough and I get sent home on live television? Yeah, that really sounds like fun. Maybe I'll become a vegetarian too."

"Oh, don't be so dramatic," Melanie sighed. "We just want you to make sure this is what you want before you ruin this. You might actually be happy with him. You could have a future with him, Sam. Just give him a chance."

"I gave him a chance," I argued. "And he wasted it on some other girls! Girls who are way more sexy than I will ever be. What guy wouldn't want that? It was a fantasy to think for one second he would want me! He was never going to choose me. I know that now."

Reality is a bitch sometimes.

X

"She declined the offer," Missy told Freddie. They were standing in her office reading the email Sam had just sent. "I'm sorry, Freddie."

"She's really not coming back?" Freddie said the words slowly. He didn't like how they sounded. Depressing. Hopeless. Over. "I thought she would."

"Me too," Missy admitted. "It's a shame. She really boosted our ratings."

Freddie glared at her angrily. "Is that all you care about? Ratings? This is supposed to be about love!"

Missy laughed and shook her head. "No, Freddie, it's a reality show. Hardly anything about it is real. But if you manage to actually fall in love…that's just a bonus."

"So it doesn't matter who I choose to spend the rest of my life with?" Freddie couldn't believe what he was hearing. Was he the only one who believed in finding true love?

"Don't worry," Missy assured him. "If it doesn't work out, you can get a divorce and return next season. There are plenty of single girls out there dying to be Mrs. Benson."

"And one girl who isn't," Freddie muttered, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans. Sam's face kept popping up in his mind.

Missy frowned. "Freddie…"

"No, forget it," Freddie snapped. "Let's just go get this elimination over with. I can't wait for this whole contest to end." He turned and stormed out of Missy's office.

X

From: FredwardBenson

To: SamluvzHam

Subject: READ THIS!

You'll probably delete this before you read it, but just in case you don't…

It's not the same without you. This show was a terrible idea. I honestly can't blame you for wanting to stay as far away as possible. Or maybe it was me you are avoiding. I still can't blame you. I deserve it.

We're down to the last five girls. I'm going to send two home tomorrow night. I'm not sure who I want to stay anymore. It was so much easier when you were here. You were always my first choice even if you were always called last.

You were right about this show being fake. Reality TV? What a joke. The only real thing was you. I'm sure of that.

I love you, Sam. I haven't said that enough. You don't let people in to see the real you. I have to scratch and claw my way to every layer of you. It's hard work. But I realized I don't want the easy way. I want you to challenge me every day. That's how I know this is all real. And it is right, Sam.

I love you. You don't want to believe that, but it's true. I love you. Come back to me.

-Freddie.

A/N: I'm BAAAAAACCCKKK! Does anyone still remember this story? ;)

I lost inspiration for this story, but I've decided to finish it. This is not the last chapter. I'll update soon!

Since you waited so long for me to update, the next chapter will reveal what you have all been waiting for: *Drumroll* Freddie's choice! Yes, we will discover who Freddie chooses to be his wife. Do you still have hope Sam will change her mind? Do you think she'll come back? I wanna know!

Reviews are always appreciated :)