Dis.: My plot, still.

Chapter Eighteen

Five months had passed behind the bars and stone walls. She had a tiny window, barely big enough to look out of with both her eyes at the same time. There was nothing more than a small drain in the floor to use for calls of nature, no privacy. She paced the ten by ten room, kicking up dust and straw that was too measly to even form into a pillow. She shivered at night now, pulling her arms into her tee shirt to try and stay warm. The summer had been quite the opposite with her nearly removing her shirt to cool off. The food was served once a day, a grayish lumpy sludge served in dirty bowls, attached to a chain. Five minutes a day, the bowl were slid between the bars, the inhabitants would all dive to the bowls, scooping at the food with their hands into their mouths. The lucky could choke it all down before the chains retracted and took away the sustenance until the next day. The only thing that seemed plentiful was water, that leaked from pipes over head or pooled in the stones by the windows. It seemed to always rain, always be dark and dirty.

The screaming used to put her on edge. She had been tempted to join in their howling after a while, when it looked as if the ministry had no plan of actually bringing her to trial. She had held off going completely off the deep end, using a bit of sharp edge on one of the bars to knick her finger and keep track of the days as they came and went. She walked the cell several times an hour, determined to not lay down and wither away like some of the other prisoners. She tried chatting with the neighbors she could see across the hall from her, but they had been in for too long and there was nothing left behind their flat, expressionless eyes. Lily felt sorry for them, determined to fight until her last breath, but sorry for them.

She used that sorrow and hopelessness when the dementors would come by, letting that bit of panic go unchecked as they floated down the walkways. It kept them from hesitating too long at her door, the only thing that seemed to be shimmery, silvery white in this dreadful place. She remembered a little bit of why, a patronus charm interwoven with the bars to keep them out, unless of course the minister passed down the order for a kiss. The very possibility that he could do such with her had her heart pounding every time she saw them, and she saw them several times a day.

She'd hear the prisoners at the far end start their horror-filled screams and she'd stop pacing her cell like a caged animal. She'd lay down against the crack between the floor and back wall, curling up as small as she could, allowing the panic of what could happen well up in her. In her mind, she used it as a weapon against the dementors, pushing that fear and panic out in a shield between her and them. They'd pass after only a pause and continue on, the prisoners would quiet to just sobs or cries and Lily would stand back up and begin pacing again. She wouldn't let inactivity lead to atrophy.

The too few calories had her losing weight until she looked almost sick, but it wasn't her only body needs that seemed to have her hips sharpen and her shoulders start to show. She stretched her body as much as she could, running her hand down the now baggy tee shirt, frowning. Oh, there was more to her body starving itself. The flat plane of her stomach bulged slightly. Lily frowned as she cradled her body in her hands, unwilling to cry over it. What should have never been was, and from the movement inside her, the baby was thriving.

When Lily first suspected, she was angry. Angry that a higher being would allow this knowing that the last time had nearly killed her and that she wouldn't be able to do it again, to get pregnant and carry. The healers had all shared with her their sorrow for her, a mother whose body wouldn't work. She thought of the baby that she and Scorpius would have had, if things had been different. That child would be ten now, maybe, and getting ready for school soon. She would think of what this would do to Theron, who had begged for a sibling to play with until Lily sat down and explained exactly where her body failed in that very thing.

At night, she curled around her stomach, first when it was just a suspicion. She'd known that stress could stop normal functions, and if anyone was stressed, it was she. She stayed in denial at first, thinking back to when a healer had told her that they had tried to save her fertility, but the baby had ruptured the tube and it was gone. She assumed that was the end of it, they sure seemed to think it was the end of it. The other one had been severed during her c-section with Theron when he twisted during their incision. They'd realized it only after a while, when they'd started to sew her back up.

She refused to think of what anyone would say, or how it would affect anyone else. She debated telling them to see if they'd bring her more food or bring her to trial sooner, but no one even came to check on her. Even if she had wanted to use it in a bargaining chip, she couldn't. She just watched as her body shrank and he belly bloated. Even with as gross as the gray mush was, she made sure that she got every single morsel choked down. She would give it a fighting chance. She paced. She stayed hydrated by the dripping water. She protected herself from the dementors. She counted down the days and weeks and months.

'November,' she thought as she curled up for the night, tucking her arms in her shirt and wrapping them around her rounding stomach. She made a point of pulling her knees up as high as she could, determined to keep the baby warm even as she shivered. 'Theron is in his second year. He is a good boy. He loves me. He has a father. His name is Scorpius. He is a good man. He loves me. You are my baby. Your father loves me. If we ever get out of this, if we both make it, it's going to be really interesting living in the same building.'

She slept when she could stop shivering long enough to sleep, would run her connections by in her head. Hazier memories were starting to sharpen slightly. She could almost remember what it was to be touched and kissed by Scorpius. She mentally kicked herself for not remembering to kiss him before they took her. She knew that he was taking care of their son, she owed him that much. She'd been away from her son for over a year now, sans that one disastrous visit when she was in the hospital.

With her being malnourished, she was smaller than she'd probably have been if she had enough to eat. She could feel the stretching and movement of the baby as it grew. She cradled the mound, tracing shapes against her skin as it covered and protected her baby. She would trace her ribs to keep track of how much weight she was really losing in the prison cell. Sometimes, she'd let a few precious tears streak down her cheek in the middle of the night when she thought about how much she had lost, and when she worried she'd never find out why.

The screaming always started up, the shrieks and indistinguishable shouts of the caged prisoners, the wails and wants deafening. Lily covered her ears in the morning to block it out, needed a few more minutes to rest. She was growing so tired, so weak. She worried about her body-mate, the baby wasn't as active anymore, the food wasn't providing enough calories for either of them, much less both of them. She pushed up off the cold hard floor and turned over, rubbing her stomach to warm the chill from her.

"Hey, you," a voice called. It was deep, resonating and it sounded too loud, much too loud. Lily didn't dare hope that they'd sent someone else here who still had their wits about them. She curled up tighter, ignoring the ankle shackles they'd failed to remove when she was placed in the cell. She glanced at the wall. It had been five months. It was almost December. She hear a key in a lock and her heart strummed in her chest. Maybe the ministry had decided to have the trial without her, and the punishment put down was a kiss. She fought the tears that were edging out of her eyes, curling up tighter.

The metal on metal of a rarely used door creaked so loudly that the other prisoners drew silent. Door rarely opened in this place, usually only to put people in, to take the dead out, or to administer the kiss. Lily clenched her eyes shut, unable to make herself any smaller. She heard the trays of food shoot into each of the cell but she didn't dare move, hunger or not. She couldn't risk it.

"I want photos taken of all this!" a man barked at someone. Lily flinched at his too close voice, clenched her teeth and twitched as the flash fired over and over. She shuddered slightly, the smell of flash powder hanging thickly in the cool, damp air. She felt someone move behind her, a hand touch her shoulder lightly.

"Mr. Green, I think you need to take a look at her," a woman's voice cut into Lily's heart, its sweet cadence almost reminding her of a mother. "Miss Potter, I'm Susan Anderson, personal assistant to Mr. Green, you're attorney."

Lily turned her tear and dirt streaked face.

"Take the picture," Mr. Green demanded and the flash made Lily cringe and jump. Mr. Green dropped down, careful not to dirty his pristine dragon skin suit to look at her. "Lily, I'm sorry that it's taken so long to get in to see you. The ministry has been rather, uncooperative, especially with so many political opponents coming up against Minister Parker."

She didn't say anything, just remained curled in a ball.

"I think the poor thing is in shock, and starved," Susan said as she glanced at the meager portion of gray slop in the bowl.

"We're going to take you to the city, to be held until your trial in two weeks. You'd have been there sooner but convieniently, the minister lost your paperwork and no one could find you," Mr. Green told her. "Can you stand? Can you walk out of here?" Lily nodded once, the two backing up as Lily struggled to her feet.

"Merlin," Susan whispered in horror, looking at Lily. Mr. Green closed his eyes in what looked like silent prayer.

"I want you take a few more pictures of Miss Potter, please," he told the camera guy. He looked truly upset. Lily flinched, focusing out the window and the small patch of blue sky as the flash fired off a few more times.

"Miss Potter," Susan offered her arm, sliding it around one side of her, Mr. Green on the other side. Gone was his concern for dirt, but instead the suffering of this woman. He nodded at the camera man who took one final picture, two robust ministry officials with an emaciated and pregnant woman limply draped between them.

Lily barely could hope that this was actually happening, tears streaming down her face. Perhaps, she'd finally died or completely been lost to her mind. She didn't try to wipe the tears away, or to hide her body away. She turned her face up to the sun just beyond the door, the warm warming her despite the breeze, causing her tears to almost sparkle in the sun. The camera guy decided to take the picture without any prompting from Mr. Green.

"Lily, we're going to stick it to them," Mr. Green promised. One of the transport guards looked startled by Lily's appearance, shackles in his hand to cuff her wrist. Mr. Green glared at him. "No, and I daresay you'd better remove the ones on her ankles too. The level of abuse in this penitentiary, especially for someone who has never even been arraigned is deplorable."

"Yes, of course," the guard dipped down, unlocking the metal and it fell away at her feet before disappearing for good. Lily didn't try to stop the tears. Dead or not, she was in the warm sun, and she didn't care anymore.

Lily remained quiet and jumpy on the small boat that seemed to travel very quickly through the water. She had seen boats, she reminded herself silently, in Argentina, but they had been muggle boats. The magical boats at the castle had moved much in the same way, as if the water and weather weren't a factor. No one talked to her, or to each other. Mr. Green was furiously writing notes, his quill making scratching noises on the parchment. Lily didn't watch him, instead she looked out over the water. She lowered her hand into the water, peering over the edge of the small dinghy. The salt water felt pure on her skin, she scooped it up to drink from it but Mr. Green pushed her hands away from her mouth, spilling the water.

"Don't drink that," he told her gently. He conjured a carafe of ice cold water and a glass. She ignored the glass and chugged the cold water, finishing it almost immediately and shuddering from the brief chill. "Do you want more?"

Lily shook her head and looked back out over the water, a mouthful of water still sloshing around in her mouth. It didn't have that bitter tang of sulfur that the water from the rocks and pipes had. It was the purest thing she had drank in ages. Susan touched her arm slightly, Lily flinched.

"Sorry, dear. I didn't mean to startle you. When we dock, Mr. Green and I will take you to the ministry. We'll make sure that there is plenty of clean water to drink and food, okay?" Susan promised.

"Lily, we will make this right," Mr. Green promised. He glanced down for a moment at her shirt, the stained and tattered ratty gray thing nearly thread bare. "No one should ever have to go through what you've been through."

Lily was too overwhelmed and exhausted as she was shuttled from the dock into a waiting car. The windows were dark tinted, so that with the dying day and the coming night, Lily could open her eyes more effectively without squinting or them hurting. They slowed as they approached the ministry, Lily stared aimlessly out the window unseeing.

"Those protestors are here for you," Susan whispered. Lily glanced briefly at the mass of people, holding signs where moving posters of Lily being taken out of her building five months before at wand-point were displayed. "Everyone knows you were arrested, but no one knows why and as time passed, it became apparent that the ministry was attempting to cover it up and hide you away."

The cell reminded Lily more of her first apartment she'd gotten after she left the big one. She tried to remember why she'd left, drawing a blank. She had been pregnant, and her friend had helped out with furniture, but Lily was drawing a blank on the finer details. She was too tired to care.

"Susan is going to sleep on the couch here, Lily," Mr. Green said. "I have my own personal guards stationed outside so that you don't have to worry about anything."

"Thank you," Lily whispered, her voice creaky from the lack of use. The baby stirred wildly at the sound of her voice.

"I'm going to send for a healer in the morning," Mr. Green promised. "Do you have any in mind? I'm going to guess that you didn't go in there knowing about your, er, condition?"

"No," Lily shook her head once. A healer came to mind, Marshall Clocks, but she didn't know if she could trust him, trust anyone. She glanced at Susan and Mr. Green, and wondered if she could trust either of them.

"I'll find you someone," he told her. He pulled Susan aside to talk with her and Lily wandered to the bedroom. She looked at the bed, the fluffy blankets and the thick pillows, and ached to climb in between the pristine white linens. Susan came up beside her and pulled out clothes for Lily.

"The tub is over that way, soak away and scrub away, dear," Susan shared. "I'll order a bunch of food and have it delivered, from our own cooks, and you can eat when you're done."

Lily nodded once. She discarded her clothes in a heap on the floor. She felt ashamed for their filthiness, and even more so when she actually saw her reflection in the glass. She was sallow-skinned, bony. She counted the ribs and the vertebrae in her spin, traced her now angular bones with her skeleton fingers. Her hair was caked and matted, bits of straw and chunks of dust clinging to the grease and mess. It took her an hour of scrubbing and scouring, rinsing and repeating until the water ran clear. Lily felt disgusted by the thick layer of filth left behind and she set to work scrubbing it with bleach she found under the sink.

"Lily, honey, don't worry about it," Susan begged her as she touched the bare shoulder of the frail creature before her. Lily startled, dropping the scrubber in the tub.

"I-"

"It's okay, Lily," Susan promised. "I'll have someone come clean it. Let's dress you and feed you. You'll need your rest. I can't imagine you've slept too well the last five months."

"No, not really," Lily murmured as she eased her clothes over her body. Susan grinned at her.

"Once we get some good nutrition in you, you'll be right as rain," Susan guided her toward the living space, a cart with the most imaginable foods were laid out. Lily hesitated. After months of gray gruel, she didn't know what to chose.

"I-" Lily hesitated.

"I'd start light," Susan suggested. Lily had her fill on soups and tea, fruits and little sandwiches. She barely made it to the bed before slipping into a food coma. Lily slept straight through the next day and woke up starved. She climbed out of the bed and shuffled out of the room into the living room. Mr. Green was flipping through a book.

"I know I saw it in here," he muttered, stroking his beard. "Marvolo Gaunt got six months AFTER he was tried and sentenced for assaulting an Auror."

"Here's where Mofrin Gaunt got three years, but he did attack a bunch of muggles," Susan pointed at the book she was looking. She glanced up. "Oh, Lily! You're awake. Here, come sit and eat."

"Thank you," Lily's voice was quiet, reserved.

"We're just going over your defense," Mr. Green explained, gesturing at the tall stacks of papers in front of him. "The healer will be here in a little bit."

"Is there anything we can get you?" Susan asked as Lily tucked into the plate of foods placed before her.

"I'd like to see my son, Theron," Lily replied quietly. Susan and Mr. Green shared a look.

"I don't know that the ministry will allow it. They're calling him to the stands to testify," Mr. Green explained. "An incident of magic he and his cousins performed before he even went to school. The idea is to prove that you've got a complete disregard for Wizarding Law."

"That... that was a misunderstanding," Lily protested weakly.

"We know, and they know that, too," Mr. Green nodded. "They're just not going to make it easy on you. Two weeks, Lily. Two weeks and we'll go before the Wizengamut and plead our case. The law is on our side."

"What are my charges, my official charges?" Lily asked, playing with her food.

"Treason, though I've heard rumors that the prosecuting team can't find a single entity of it, and they've even called to witness the minister of magic from Argentina," Mr. Green explained. "The worst thing, probably is going to be Assault on Ministry Officials... Aurors."

"I didn't assault anyone," Lily protested.

"You were seen pushing Damon West into the elevator and you grabbed Scorpius Malfoy by the face," Mr. Green read from the paper, adjusting his glasses. He looked at her over them. "You also stole Auror property from Mr. West, denying him use of his property. A silver Auror-issued poly juice flask. You also are charged as impersonating another person and gaining entry to Mr. West's domicile."

"Are they bringing me up on charges?" Lily asked him. Mr. Green looked through the papers, shuffling here and there.

"It looks like the ministry has filed charges on their behalf, since they're technically property of the ministry," Mr. Green explained. "I doubt that last four charges, the theft and denial of property, the impersonation, and gaining entry will hold up, but the other two were witnessed by no less than two ministry guards."

"What am I looking at for punishment?" Lily asked after she closed her eyes for a moment, thinking. She wanted to be hysterical, to throw things, but she knew that it'd be no good.

"Six months, each charge, is Azkaban," Mr. Green said carefully. "If we're lucky, maybe 3 months each, with credit for time served."

"I can't go back there," Lily gasped.

"Of course not," Mr. Green shook his head. "We're fighting to get all the charges dropped, of course, but the ministry has to save face. They'll probably plea out before they have you go before the council, drop the treason charges and all the others, since it'd be hard to prove them, and then bargain out the two assault charges."

"Mr. Green, the healer is here," a woman informed him, poking her head in the door. Mr. Green nodded and gestured for her to allow the healer enter. Lily was grateful that she didn't know this healer. The woman healer was very nice to Lily, checking her out head to toe.

"So, what's the thought, doc?" Mr. Green asked her. She glanced at Lily.

"She's severely emaciated. She's been held in deplorable conditions for a very long time," she explained. Lily watched the quick-quotes quill rapidly going to work, writing notes. The healer was pulling together different compounds. "I suggest that she drink these reviality potions. She's very deficient in calories, and that can mean a whole host of issues to both baby and mother."

"But will she recover?" Mr. Green asked.

"She's strong," the healer offered him. She looked at Lily. "I want you to remain in bed until your court date, eating and drinking."

"We'll make sure it happens," Susan promised as she placed her hands on Lily's shoulders and directed her back to bed. Lily protested but after she'd eaten and drank the potion the healer left her, she felt incredibly tired. She yawned, a tiny squeak of noise escaping as she covered herself with the too soft blanket.

"Make sure she stays in that bed," Mr. Green warned Susan as she went to close the door over. "The healer says that the baby's very life depends on her health and healing."

"Yes sir," Susan nodded, glancing back at the door as she sat down in front of her previously discarded tomes.

"Even a delayed sentence is going to be unacceptable," Mr. Green sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Does anyone know about her... condition?" Susan asked delicately. Mr. Green shook his head, replacing his glasses.

"I plan on showing the pictures during trial," he explained. "I'm going to get that rat-bastard for everything."