I really liked writing this chapter for some reason. I guess that's how it is though. Some chapters just stick with a person. Anyway, I was happy to see that so many people enjoyed the last one. Any time anyone gets punched in the dick I guess it makes for a good read ;) That was my favorite part of the whole chapter. Haha. I really appreciate all your input! I hope you like this one as much as I did! It's a little smutty, so you've been properly warned! Have a good morning! =)

Chapter Eighty Two

Carol watched Maggie pace nervously around the small room. The girl had came to her room a little while ago, full of nervous energy.

"They shoulda been back by now." Maggie muttered as she glanced towards the darkened windows.

"They're Dixons, Maggie. They'll be fine." Carol said even though her own nerves were stretched thin. If Maggie knew how scared she was herself it would only make it worse for the girl. Instead she sat cross legged on the couch and flipped through a magazine as she kept her face as calm as she could.

She was listening, knowing she probably wouldn't hear them coming down the hall. She was wrong. She heard footsteps. A lot of them, which caused her to spring from the couch in a panic. She instinctively put herself between Maggie and the door and when it flew open she braced herself, thinking that Philip's men were there to take them and this whole thing was a set up.

Daryl and Merle were the first two in the room but they were followed by Rick, T-dog, Glen and Randal. Her eyes went straight to his face. There was blood running down from a cut up high on his cheekbone.

Her first instinct was to be angry at him. He had promised her, she had made him promise more than once, that he would not get in a fight. He promised he would keep his mouth shut and do nothing unless someone hit him first.

Anger was her first instinct. Once she got a look at the their grim faces, however, that anger quickly transformed into fear.

Maggie couldn't get to Merle fast enough. "You scared the hell outta me." She said as she pressed her forehead into his chest. One arm came around her but the other was held down to his side. Carol's eyes widened. There was a wicked looking metal contraption strapped to his arm. And it was bloody.

She was about to ask what happened but Rick spoke before she had a chance too.

"We can leave tonight. We can just sneak out without them knowing." He said as he paced.

Daryl glared at him. "Yeah, sounds real fuckin' easy, Rick. Why don't you go ahead and try that? Let the rest of us know how it works out for ya."

"Why don't you get off my back, Daryl? I didn't see this comin'. I wasn't the only one that was for this."

Daryl took a step closer, fists clenched. "But you're the one that named yourself our fearless leader. The one that tells everybody else how shit is gonna go."

Rick narrowed his eyes.

Carol watched them for as long as she could and then finally she couldn't keep her mouth shut anymore. "Can you two just stop and tell us what's going on. Please?" She crossed her arms over her chest and took a deep breath, preparing herself for the worst. "And why are you bleeding?" She looked back at Merle's new accessory.

"The good Governor had some of his men jump Merle and me. Four of'em." Daryl said in a matter of fact tone. As if that was not a very big deal at all.

"Why would he do that?" She felt an unfamiliar surge of rage rise up in her that she tried to swallow down.

Daryl just shrugged. "Wanted to see if we was all talk I suppose. Me and Martinez went at it and then he had more comin' as soon as it was over. Merle stepped in."

"The two of you had to fight off five men tonight? Under that mans orders?" Now Carol was glaring at Rick and the others.

Rick put his hands up. "The other men held the rest of us back. We tried to get into it but they weren't having it."

Sophia and Duane barged in then, assessed the scene with quick darting eyes and then looked towards the Dixon's.

"What the hell was that?" Duane asked as he stormed over to Merle.

Sophia crossed her arms. "We saw the last of it from the window. Daryl, you have to teach me how to do that."

"Sophia, not now." Carol said sternly and then her eyes landed on Daryl. "What are we going to do?"

She watched his eyes as carefully as she could. She didn't like what she saw in those blue depths. He shook his head. How could she have been so stupid? She had been the one to talk him into coming here.

She let him take her hand and pull her closer. "We'll figure somethin' out." He said quietly. "We can't leave. There ain't no way that crazy fucker is just gonna let us leave this place."

Rick took a deep breath. "We can get some rest tonight, meet him in the morning like we were told to do and then figure something out. I don't know what else to do."

"We need to talk, Merle." Duane said suddenly.

Merle glanced down at the boy and nodded. He led Maggie out of the room with Duane on their heels.

Carol let go of Daryl's hand as the rest of them filed out of their room. She felt sick. Not just sick to her stomach either but sick all the way through to her bones. She had pressured him into this. He hadn't wanted this and neither had her daughter and now they were trapped like animals in this place. Daryl and Merle could have gotten hurt.

Sophia sat down next to her. "This is pretty bad." She said quietly. "I should have shot him when I had the chance."

Carol was feeling even more sick now. God, how had things gotten so bad? Oh yeah, she'd convinced the man she loved that this would be a good thing for Sophia. The girl that was now pouting because she hadn't killed a man when she had a chance. Her stomach twisted and she put her hand over her mouth and hurried to the bathroom.

~H~

Sophia watched her mom closely. She had grown from pale to nearly green and now she was getting sick. Daryl looked pained as he stood there looking towards the bathroom door.

"What do we do?" She asked him while they had a few minutes alone.

He kept his eyes on the bathroom door but he reached behind him and pulled out her gun. She stood up quickly and took it. She had felt so exposed without the familiar feel of it pressed into the small of her back.

She guessed now would be the best time to tell him some more bad news. "Daryl, we need to talk."

He finally looked at her. "About what?" He asked, sounding very drained.

She reached up and smoothed her thumb across the blood that had ran down his cheek from where that asshole had hit him. "We can't get to the truck. Me and Duane checked out the back and they have patrols everywhere."

"Keep that gun on you, you hear me?" He leaned into her face. "If any of them mother fuckers get near you you blow there fuckin' head off, you understand?"

She nodded, eyes going wide.

The door crashed open with a loud bang. T-dog charged into the room, looking like a raging bull. It was strange to see fury on this usually gentle mans face. "They're gone." He growled between clenched teeth.

"What?" Daryl frowned. "Who?"

Sophia already knew what T-dog was talking about.

"Not who. What. All our guns, all our ammo. It was in my room and now every bit of it is gone."

Sophia glanced at the bathroom door where her mom had just emerged. Carol groaned. "What now?"

Daryl shook his head. "Nothin' that can't wait till tomorrow." He muttered.

T-dog nodded and left the room. The three of them stood there for a long time, not saying anything. When the silence was broken it was Sophia who broke it.

"I'm gonna head back to my room. I'll come back first thing in the morning." She said as she watched her mom worriedly. She looked really scared. She silently hoped that she didn't look that way. She would do whatever she had to do. Her and Duane would get those guns. They were about the only ones that could. Everyone would be watching the adults but really wouldn't expect them to do anything crazy. She needed to make sure she kept it to herself for now too. Even Merle wouldn't agree to this.

"You watch your ass and remember what I said." He said as she reached for the door.

"I will." She gave him a half smile that he tried to return but it didn't reach his eyes.

She slipped silently down the hall and before she could knock on Merle's door Duane stepped out.

"We have to get those guns." She hissed as they made their way to her room.

"Merle just told me that from what he can tell, my dad isn't much happy about being here. He said my dad was probably just telling me I was okay because parents do that to keep kids from worrying. He said my dad looked scared tonight while they had their meeting."

"So if we find a way out of here then we have to talk your dad into coming with us." She said as they slipped into her room. Beth wasn't there. She was probably with Hershel.

"Exactly. Now, how do you think we'll be able to get out of here to get those guns?" He asked as he turned on a lamp.

They both nearly cried out when they noticed someone that had been sitting on the couch in the dark.

"You guys plotting without me?" Carl asked with a smirk.

"How did you escape?" Sophia asked.

He shrugged. "She went to sleep. My dad let me out but he damn near walked me to your door. It's so stupid." He rolled his eyes.

"Did your dad tell you about anything that's been going on?" Sophia asked.

He glared at the floor. "He doesn't tell me anything."

Sophia and Duane sat down on the couch, flanking him. "It's bad."

Duane nodded. "It's really bad. And we're the only ones that can really do anything about it."

"Time for a master plan boys." Sophia sighed and shook her head.

~H~

"You have to kill'em." Maggie deadpanned.

Merle looked up from cleaning the blood from the metal covering his arm. "Gettin' as bad as the kid's, girl." He smirked.

"This ain't a joke, Merle. Somethin' has to be done before they hurt one of us. Before they hurt you."

He kept his head down but his eyes looked up and met hers. "That ain't gonna happen. Not as long as they think we're gonna do what they want. They'll underestimate us. We just need to make ourselves useful for now. Plot while they ain't lookin'. I'm thinkin' they got a nice thing goin' with this little set up. I might not wanna go anyplace else." He looked back down and kept on cleaning off the blood.

"What do you mean?" She hissed. "You think we should just stay here?"

Merle felt the corners of his mouth turn up. "Safe enough place if you ask me."

"Merle, are you insane? I ain't gonna live under that mans thumb the rest of my life. I'd rather be back out there on the road."

He tossed the washcloth onto the table and made a grab for the long t-shirt she had changed into for bed. He yanked her until she stood right in front of him, hands on his shoulders and frown still in place. "I never said anythin' about lettin' the son of a bitch live, did I? I want this town. And I'm gonna take it."

"You could do that?" She whispered.

He chuckled low in his throat. "Oh, girly, you don't know half of what I'm capable of doin'. 'Specially if it means keepin' my people alive."

"You've killed men before? Before all this?" She asked quietly.

"Mmm hmm."

"Did ya kill just for killin sake or did you do it for a reason?" Her voice was quiet and when he looked up once more her eyes were drilling holes into his face.

"I did it once to save my brother. Did it a few more times to save my own ass. Killed two men in prison while I was servin' time for killin' the first man. But the other two were gonna kill me if I didn't do somethin'. Didn't have much choice."

"You killed someone to save your brother?" She breathed.

He nodded with a frown. Maybe he shouldn't be so quick to tell her this shit. What the hell got him started talking about this anyway? He had a sudden fear that she would bolt then. Just walk right out the door. He'd been waiting for her to do that for a while now but she always stuck right there with him. He was finding it difficult to raise his eyes to meet hers. What was he going to see there? Anger? Fear? The last thing he wanted was for her to be afraid of him.

He flinched when he felt her hand touch his jaw gently. He finally raised his eyes. The corner of her mouth turned up. "Is that how come you think you're a bad man that girl like me couldn't love?" She dropped onto his lap then, trapping him between her legs before he could move away from her.

He didn't look at her. What the fuck was this crazy girl thinking? Love? He scoffed inwardly.

"Well, is it?" She pressed as her other hand came up and trapped his face so he was finding it more difficult to avert his gaze.

"Ain't no such thing as shit like that, darlin'." His voice was a low rasp.

He felt her lips graze his. Usually it felt good when she did stuff like that. Right now, though he just felt trapped.

"You don't love your brother?" She asked softly.

He scowled. "Course I love my brother. He's my blood. That's different. You love your daddy and you love your sister for the same reason. They're blood."

"You ain't never loved anybody else?"

It was an innocent question. "No." he answered honestly.

"Anybody ever tell ya they loved you?" She asked.

His Scowl deepened. "What the fuck, Maggie? Get off this shit, would ya?" He tried to move her off of him but her legs locked around his waist.

"No."

He growled and then stood up, thinking she'd give up and leave him be. But those long legs of hers stayed clamped around his waist and when he finally looked her in the eye she was grinning and sliding her arms around his neck. Her lips grazed his lightly.

His jaw was clenched, muscles tense and body rigid. Her eyes were wide, innocent, and she was giving him that look. The one he had seen before. That look that made him feel like she was staring right into his head. Wasn't they just talking about him killing people? Why couldn't they get back on that subject. It didn't bother him. This shit bothered him. He was about to throw her ass down and go sleep in Sophia's room.

"What are you so afraid of?" She whispered.

His jaw was clenched so tightly that he wouldn't have been able to say a word, even if he had anything to say. Which he didn't.

"Is it that hard to believe? That I lo..."

He crushed her mouth with his, he didn't want to hear anything she had to say. His world was upside down enough. He already didn't feel like he was himself. He thought he had done okay and now she was tossing more bullshit on his plate and this time he wasn't going to swallow it. He needed her, for some fucked up reason. He could deal with that. He wanted her. That was obvious. But he didn't love this girl. He didn't know how and she didn't love him either.

He forced her lips apart, and then her tongue was fighting his for control. Her head jerked away from his but only for a second. Only long enough for her to yank the t-shirt over her head while he supported her weight with one arm and then her mouth came right back, just as forceful as his had been.

He took a step back, bumping into the nightstand that held the lamp. It crashed to the floor, plunging the room into darkness. His hand came up and jerked her head back roughly by the hair. She cried out but it didn't sound like a pained cry. His lips found the base of her throat and he dragged his teeth across the sensitive skin there. She whimpered, the sound causing all logical thought to fly right out the window.

She unwound her legs from around him and landed lightly on the floor. Without breaking stride she ripped his shirt open, buttons popping off, he barely even registered that as he felt her hands working the button of his jeans as the shirt slid off his shoulders, he was kicking his boots off. Before he even had his pants kicked all the way off she had her hands on his shoulders and her legs wrapped around him once again.

The feel of her skin against his felt like an electrical charge that sent a jolt through him. This was where the fun started. No worries, no reason to wait. No more anxiety about how he was going to hurt her. He could have taken her right there, she was climbing him like a tree. But he didn't want that. He lowered her to the bed and was actually able to brace himself above her since he had that thing strapped to his arm. The knife was tucked away, he hadn't had a reason to use it yet.

She was squirming under him now, hips coming up and sliding herself along the hard length of him, leaving a wet trail.

"Jesus," He breathed as she continued moving on him in a slow up and down motion. Her breathing was getting heavier, small sounds of pleasure escaping her throat every now and then as she pressed against him even harder and moved a little faster. Oh God. She was actually going to get herself off, sliding up and down like that, she moaned low in her throat and he stayed as still as he could while she road the underside of him. And it felt fucking amazing, even to him, like wet hot silk being dragged across his aching flesh.

She surprised him when she suddenly called out his name, moved her hips further up and then brought them down so he was almost inside her. He had only moved a fraction of an inch before she adjusted herself once more and then with one powerful thrust from her she took him all in, faster than he would have done considering how she still felt like this was her first time, wrapping around him and squeezing. He was almost sure he was hurting her, stretching her to the limits.

"Please, Merle." She gasped.

Then he knew that there was no pain, she moaned when he started moving, slowly at first, just to make sure she wasn't in any pain. When he felt her muscles tensing he moved faster, and when her breath suddenly caught in her throat he thought he was going to die right then, but he kept going bringing over the edge as she clung to him. There was something nagging at him in the back of his mind but nothing at all was able to really penetrate the unbelievable feel of being inside of her.

He raised up slightly, causing her to protest until he had both her legs draped over his shoulders and he moved up, sinking in deeper than he had before, driving into her until he had her writhing and moaning. This new positioning had him straining to hold off until she came again, but thankfully he didn't have to wait very long before he felt that rush of heat inside her and the now familiar trembling. As soon as his name left her lips he stopped holding back, thrusting faster as her head moved up those few inches and she was kissing him. He groaned into her mouth as he came, and somehow it was even more intense than it had been the night before. She was shuddering under him when he was finally finished. They were both panting like animals as her thighs slid down his arms, landing lifelessly at his sides.

There was still a nagging in his brain that he ignored as he laid the side of his rough face against the soft skin between her breasts. He slid his body down a little so he was no longer inside her. Feeling the wetness from the both of them on his stomach.

Her fingernails lightly grazed the skin on the back of his neck and then his shoulders and he almost sighed contentedly when suddenly he realized what he had done.

The bag was on the floor. By the bed. Oh fuck. His head snapped up and he jerked away from her.

"Merle?" She sounded almost hurt.

"Oh, fuck." He rasped, his voice filling with panic as he thought about that bag. So close to the bed. He had put it there for a reason. Easy access to all those damn condoms he'd snagged from the store. "Oh fuck." He said again.

She sat up as he flipped himself over onto his back. "Merle!" She snapped. "What it is?"

"The bag. I didn't use anything. I didn't think about it."

"Oh. Oh!" She sat up straighter.

He was panicking. Silently berating himself for being so stupid. So fucking stupid. But surely he didn't have anything to worry about. Fuck, it was only once, right? What were the chances of a girl getting knocked up just cause you came in her once? Surely the odds were slim. Some people tried for years to get knocked up. He was fine. She was fine. Everything was fine.

"It's probably fine." She whispered. "It was just once. One time, okay. Calm down."

He blew out a heavy breath. "Yeah, one time. Nothin' to freak out about." he laid his head back on the pillow and pulled the blankets up to his chest.

She slid in under the blanket herself and then burrowed into his side like she had done the night before. His arm came around her right as she craned her neck so she could kiss him on the jaw. He was starting to feel better. Less panicked than he had at first. That was until the damn girl had to go and open her mouth again.

"I really do love you, Merle. Whether you want me to or not. I'm gonna love you anyway.

He didn't say anything to that but she had to have felt the way his body had tensed up. Felt the way his heart started hammering too hard in his chest. Other things, though, she couldn't have noticed. Like the reason his heart was hammering so hard was because those words seemed to have broken something very fragile there. Or the way it wasn't very easy to breath anymore with a lump the size of his fucking fist stuck in his throat. And she probably wouldn't in a million years guess how much it fucking hurt to hear someone like her say those words to an unworthy man like him. She could never know that it was like a painful blow to the stomach. And never would she guess how much he longed to say them back. He'd tell her he loved her a million times over if he thought for a second that it would change the outcome of this. But he knew how this would end. She had to realize that he wasn't someone that people could love. And once she finally understood that she didn't love him at all he would be left with her words, empty and untrue, ringing painfully in his head. And she would realize it eventually and she would crush him.

He squeezed his eyes shut and willed sleep to come. But it didn't. Not for a long time.

Poor Merle =( But this is how I figure it would have been with him. Both of the Dixon's really. Being conflicted and unsure about ones self worth is a really rough thing for some people. And usually, regardless of what other people say, it takes a really long time for any show of real kindness from another person to stick. In this story I think I have made Merle a lot more damaged than Daryl. I hope you are all okay with that! I hope you liked it. Silly Merle forgetting the condoms. Haha! Thanks for reading!