A/N: Happy New Year to all. Don't kill me for the ending here, but it's as far as I got on a day with plenty else in it, and subsequent scenes would have taken time I didn't have. More coming when I can, but the work server, which had been on its own holiday for hours, just came back up, so duty calls.
(H/C)
Sunday morning, Cuddy woke up half an hour ahead of the alarm clock, almost as if a mental bugler had sounded reveille. Her dreams had been of to-do lists, and she woke up with them right in the front of her mind and was already sorting items even as she opened her eyes, looking for that dreaded forgotten detail.
Packing and arrangements had been a hassle, to put it mildly. They had never before taken anything beyond a day trip with the girls, which she had thought could be bad enough, but jumping from that into the intricacies of a 5-day trip including quite a bit of travel with two toddlers was like leaping from simple addition straight into calculus. Marina had been invaluable, helping her prioritize, pointing out things she hadn't thought of, deleting things she thought mattered that the nanny assured her weren't such a big deal after all. Marina's brisk competence in these uncharted waters was reassuring, and already, even before they had left the house, she had saved Cuddy a lot of stress. House hadn't even blinked when Cuddy suggested to him last night that they give the nanny a $5,000 bonus for her assistance on this trip.
Cuddy had changed the hotel reservations to get a suite for herself, House, Marina, and the girls, two bedrooms with a common room. She had also told House Saturday afternoon that Thornton was in the same hotel, not wanting to blindside him at the first encounter once they got there. Thomas would probably be in the hotel lobby waiting for them to check in, and while it wouldn't be the best timing, she couldn't blame him. He had been so patient. Actually seeing his son again would be a reward long overdue. As predicted, House had protested, but when she eventually offered to change the group to a different hotel if he wanted, he had grumbled that it wasn't worth forfeiting the deposit and that Thornton wasn't that big a deal anyway.
The girls had continued to improve steadily in terms of their fear. Friday night, they had slept about half of the night in their own beds before coming in to join their parents, and last night, they had stayed in their beds the whole night. Cuddy checked the monitor now to make sure it was turned on, as if she hadn't checked it many times already in the night, but all was quiet. House and Cuddy had continued leaving them with Marina briefly but without the frantic push of before, and each time, it got better. The trip itself was helping, as the girls obviously considered this a grand adventure and couldn't wait to ride a plane and go somewhere a long way away. As long as the family would be together, they were excited about it.
Decreasing worry about them just left Cuddy more room to worry about House. She turned on the bedside lamp and looked over at him now. He was sound asleep still, artificially sound asleep. She wasn't sure what had happened Friday morning when he took off on his own, but it was more than just coming to a conclusion to take his daughters to Lexington after all. From that point, it had been House who seemed to be desperately avoiding being alone. Even when she tried to give him a little space, he didn't want it. He also had completely given up resisting the sleeping pills, regardless of where the girls were spending the night. She was glad of that, but the abrupt switch from stubbornness into a sort of numb acceptance also worried her.
She had tried talking with him about Blythe a few times, and he always shut down instantly. He didn't want to talk; he just wanted to never be alone. He also had stopped pestering Wilson for details on treating Blythe's cancer posthumously, and any medical conversation he simply put off until more information at Wednesday's appointments. Even his reaction to the news of their hotel was more subdued than she would have liked. The most spark she had seen out of him in the last two days had been when he told her Friday not to tell Thornton the girls were coming, too. He wanted to watch Thornton's unscripted reaction when taken totally by surprise at the hotel. Outside of that moment, though, he seemed both more withdrawn and more desperate than before. It worried her. She was glad Jensen would be along with them.
Jensen. House had talked to him a while again last night but not very long, not as long as Cuddy wished he would talk to him, and he had still seemed detached when he came out of the bedroom. He had told Cuddy and Wilson both that as far as Marina and the girls were concerned, Thornton was to be just a family friend, nothing more. Cuddy wondered exactly how long that charade would last, at least with Marina. The nanny wasn't unobservant, and seeing those two side by side for several days for live comparison would write its own story no matter what words had been used.
Cuddy leaned over her husband now, lightly brushing her lips against his temple, then stood up and grabbed her robe. Yoga could yield to luggage this morning. Leaving House with Belle, she turned off the light, left the room quickly, and shut the bedroom door. Her first stop was the girls, and they were both still asleep. She wasted a good two minutes just standing there watching them. Then, scolding herself for the lost time, she hurried to the living room where the suitcases and carry-ons were all waiting in a line. One more inventory wouldn't hurt.
Marina was the first to arrive while Cuddy was feeding the girls breakfast, and she marched into the kitchen after putting down her own suitcase in the living room. "You need to stop fussing and sit down and eat yourself. A good breakfast is important before a trip."
"I'll eat with him in a little bit. I hadn't woken him up yet."
"Good morning," Rachel said. "We're going on a plane!"
"That's right." Marina swooped in and gave her a kiss, then Abby. "We're all taking a trip on a plane, and after we get there, we're going to say goodbye to your grandmother."
Cuddy winced. Marina, having won the larger point, had been working on House in the remaining two days to try to convince him to take the girls to the funeral. She had also been talking to the girls about death, which really seemed to be helping them, but Cuddy was starting to wonder if she was laying it on a little thick. Poor House took her new mission without response, not disagreeing, just sitting there mute. "Marina," she said softly. Marina looked up from her position next to Abby's high chair. "Lay off a little on the f-u-n-e-r-a-l." Thanks to the nanny, Rachel and Abby now both knew that word, and Cuddy didn't want their input right now.
Marina shook her head. "It's a good thing. You all need this."
"I agree with you, but there's . . . more going on than you know. Just let him decide, okay? Or at least, be gentle."
Marina considered this. "Is this more of what that b-a-s-t-a-r-d did to him?"
"Yes."
"Then he needs to learn what they really are."
"I know that, but don't push him too hard on this. I think we'll wind up all going to the f-u-n-e-r-a-l anyway, but ease up a little."
Rachel and Abby had been trying to follow this conversation, and now Rachel smacked one hand down in frustration. "Don't spell!" she protested.
That broke the mood, both Marina and Cuddy laughing. Spelling wasn't going to be an option for too much longer, Cuddy knew. Rachel knew a couple of letters from following fingers while reading books, and frighteningly, Abby at two already knew some herself.
Cuddy looked at her watch. "I'll go wake him up. Be back in a minute, girls." They watched her leave, but the urgency of following her to the last glimpse was wearing off. They were going to be all right. Cuddy gave a sigh of relief as she returned to the bedroom. At least her error had been a minor one. Patterson had been reassuring her again on that subject, but it was nice to see results.
Now down to the more difficult subject of House, and Patterson hadn't had as much definite to say about him, simply advising her to be there and not push. He was going to have to go through this his own way. Cuddy closed the bedroom door behind her and walked across to the bed, and her kiss that time wasn't just across his temple. Slowly, he climbed up from dreamless sleep and started to respond. She could feel the exact moment when he remembered they were leaving for the funeral today, and he retreated, physically and even more mentally.
She didn't insist on saying good morning to him, not this morning. "Marina's here, and the girls are just finishing breakfast in the kitchen."
"Did they stay in their room last night?" He sat up gingerly and started working his leg.
"Yes, they did. Got through the whole night without any problems, even when they woke up once. They just wanted to know we were here. It's getting better all the time." She thought of massaging his leg, helping get the morning kinks out, but she changed course partway, simply sitting on the bed beside him and pulling him over against her, careful not to hurt his leg but letting him feel her solid presence. He leaned into her chest, closing his eyes again, and she could feel the crackling tension in him. He still didn't say anything, and he still didn't cry. She was glad he wasn't pushing her away, but she wished he would allow himself to feel this instead of trying so hard to stuff it down. She knew the breakdown would come, sooner or later, but no harm in her wishing for sooner.
He pulled away after a moment, and his voice was as distant as it had been for the last two days, as distant as his grip around her had been desperate. "You'd better get back in there before they start to wonder."
"All right." She knew he hated an audience when he got out of bed. "See you in a few minutes." One more brief kiss, a squeeze of his arm, and she left him, resolving to come back in five minutes even if just on some made-up question through the door, just to let him feel that she was there. She didn't have to; he made it to the kitchen in four minutes, obviously having pushed the process and with his leg offended at his hurry. He and Cuddy started eating breakfast, and Marina at least didn't bring up the funeral.
(H/C)
Everyone but Marina was somewhat ruffled by the time they finally made it to the airport. Jensen had arrived at their house on time only because his original target departure time from Middletown had had leeway worked in. Cathy had apparently chosen that morning to make her last stand arguing for skipping school and going along to the funeral herself to support House. Wilson was a little late, having had an unexpectedly hard time leaving Sandra and Daniel, and while he had been looking forward to meeting and interrogating Thornton, his thoughts were stuck back at home as the convoy pulled out.
Rachel had made her own last stand arguing for taking Belle and took a lot of reassurance that Sandra would tend to the cat adequately. The girls had then insisted that they wanted Thornton's presents as trip toys on the plane, and both threw a fit when told this would only be allowed after removing the batteries to silence them. Cuddy dug in on that one for the sake of the sanity of the other passengers, remembering countless flights herself over the years where as much as she had always wanted a child, she could have cheerfully throttled one. When the dust settled, Thornton's toys remained packed for Lexington, leaving some quieter options in the carry-ons, including Jensen's Siamese kitten which only purred as Rachel's choice and the stuffed music notes for Abby.
Through all the final preparations, House was progressively dragging his feet, leaving Cuddy struggling between sympathy and schedule impatience. Two cars were required to haul everybody, and the accumulated luggage was enough to make Cuddy wonder if they should have hired sherpas.
Arriving at the airport early, though not nearly as early as she had intended, they unloaded luggage and all passengers except Wilson and Jensen at the loading zone. Those two then went off to stash the two cars in long-term parking, and House was obviously thinking of their whole, uncrippled legs on this task as they pulled away.
Right then, a helpful airline employee appeared to volunteer assistance with the luggage, and House took it as a cripple statement and snapped at him. Cuddy touched her husband's arm gently, trying to soothe him, and he finally realized that she had to struggle to free a hand to do even that, what with juggling girls, car seats for the flight and the rental car once they got there, and carry-ons. Which, of course, only reminded him that he couldn't carry a full share of things himself. Cuddy passed Abby off to him to lighten her load while Marina sweetly thanked the employee, and the suitcases were finally loaded on a cart.
On to check-in, after which they grabbed lunch at an airport restaurant (Cuddy had refused to stop earlier, with images of their luggage not making it on in time dancing in her head). Then through security, where at least the workers let House keep his cane this time after inspecting it. Cuddy thought he might have snapped at the humiliation of a wheelchair on top of everything else so far today, and while she wanted him to lose control, in the middle of the airport wasn't quite what she had in mind. Finally, they were in the waiting area, taking up an entire row of seats. They drew everyone's attention, of course; they had to look like a traveling three-ring circus. Several other passengers had comments on Rachel and Abby. House sat silently next to Cuddy and was so painfully aware of his cane that that fact itself drew attention to it. The girls, of course, were thrilled, on a great adventure, and chattered about the promised plane. Wilson sat thinking of Sandra and Daniel, and Jensen subtly watched House.
An older couple entered the waiting area, and House snapped to attention. It was the two octogenarians who had been talking to Blythe just over a week ago as they got off the plane in this same airport. The woman still had all the extremity swelling of congestive heart failure, and the man's breathing still sounded like an advertisement for the bad consequences of long-term smoking. They slowly creaked and wheezed their way into the seating area, aged, visibly unhealthy, and still alive. Blythe had looked in far better shape than either of these just a week ago, yet here they were returning home while she had made her flight back in a box down in cargo.
House lurched to his feet. "Gotta take a leak," he said and limped toward the restroom. Jensen and Wilson both stood right after him, Jensen responding slightly faster, and he motioned Wilson back. The restroom had a few other people in it, and there wasn't really much chance for talk, but Jensen didn't miss House's relieved look as he entered just behind him. House had obviously stopped wanting to be alone just a few strides after taking off from the group, and Jensen filed that fact for later. This wasn't the time, but he was wondering after watching this morning if House was actively hearing John's voice again when he didn't have his people there to help hold it at bay. House walked quietly back exactly beside the psychiatrist as they left the restroom, and the two of them stopped just before reaching the seats, the other passengers flowing around them like a river around a rock. House was once again staring at the older couple.
"Do you know them?" Jensen asked softly.
"They arrived on Mom's flight," House stated. "They were talking to her. And they're . . ." He trailed off. Jensen put a hand on his arm, and House didn't pull away.
Just then, early boarding was called, including those passengers with babies and toddlers, as well as the crippled. They boarded, and House was glad to see once the plane filled that that couple was seated well behind them. At least he wouldn't have to look at them so obviously alive throughout the flight.
The group of seven was split among a few rows directly behind each other. Rachel and Abby both got window seats, and some debate ensued about which kid got which parent next to them (both wanted both of them), but Wilson's compromise of having House and Cuddy switch off partway was accepted. Everyone was finally settled, luggage stowed, and the plane took off. The girls were enthralled, looking out the window, eyes wide as they felt the power of the great engines.
Shortly after the plane had turned and settled onto its course, the speaker crackled into life. "Hello, ladies and gentleman, this is your captain speaking. First of all, I'd like to wish everybody a happy New Year!"
House rolled his eyes. He'd totally forgotten this was New Year's Day, as he had progressed through life trying his best to ignore holidays, especially false ones about a new start and resolutions that meant nothing because nobody ever kept them. He remembered Wilson telling him once that you should do on New Year's what you wanted to do throughout the year. So here he was going to his mother's funeral. Yeah, definitely ought to write that one down for reruns. The captain was rambling on, full of good wishes and promises of a perfect flight with ideal weather to start their new year off right. "What a crock of . . . s-h-i-t," he amended at the last minute, looking at Abby next to him. A woman across the aisle heard him and gave him a reproachful look, and he glared at her until she turned away with a huff and buried her nose in her book, obviously concluding that she had that sort of person sharing her flight.
The flight did go fairly smoothly, Marina said later, but to Cuddy, it was an endless stream of wanting this toy or that toy or having another question. The two parents traded girls a few times in flight, and while Rachel and Abby were active, they were kept occupied pretty quietly and weren't disruptive to the other passengers, at least. Afternoon nap time and adrenaline wearing off kicked in simultaneously most of the way through the flight, and they were sound asleep as the plane landed in Lexington.
The group by general unspoken agreement waited for the traffic to clear this time, knowing their complicated exit would take a while. Finally, as the other passengers thinned out, House stiffly pried himself out of his seat. Someone passing had bumped into him slightly at the last switch-off, pushing on by in the aisle when he hadn't quite been fully into the row yet. At least, it would have been a slight bump to anyone with normal, unimpaired balance. For him, there really wasn't such a thing as a slight bump. It had thrown his weight onto the right side, and with that plus the trip plus general tension, his leg was now giving him hell. Cuddy had noticed; she was looking worried again and trying not to be obvious about it. The sleeping girls were extracted and handed off to able-bodied adults, Cuddy with Rachel and Marina with Abby, and Jensen and Wilson took command of the two car seats and the carry-ons. House had all he could do to carry himself as they exited the plane.
"At least there's no more travel tonight except to make it from here to the hotel," Wilson said, trying to provide a pep talk as they made their encumbered exit through the plane door. "We've survived the trip." They slowly progressed through the tunnel and out into the waiting area.
There in front of the plastic rows of seats, eagerly watching the tunnel, stood Thomas Thornton.