I meant to post this earlier but I fell asleep. I think my brain is telling me that insomnia is over since this story is about done. I'm still writing the epilogue. It is turning into a very long chapter. Takes me back to the old Fighting Back days ;) But hopefully it will be worth it. The next few chapters are just settle down chapters. A few key things happen that make the epilogue flow better. I wont call them fillers. I want to thank you for all the time you've spent on this story! It means a lot! And the reviews have been amazing and all the follows and favorites really keep me going. I hope you all have a great day! =)
Chapter Ninety Two
Sophia wasn't sleeping but she wasn't all the way awake either. She was warm now and she was comfortable despite the pain. There was a lot of that. Her wrists and her face hurt. Her head was aching painfully but the worst was her lungs. Every breath was painful. She wasn't even sure what had happened. It was bad, whatever it was because the look on their faces when she had woken up was something she would never forget. It would haunt her forever.
She could hear the steady throb of Carl's heart under her ear and almost felt embarrassed about being so close to him. Almost. The truth was, all she wanted to do was be close to him. Not just him but all of them. She had been so sure that she would never see them again and to know that he was right there with her was making her feel better. Not just physically better but better on the inside.
"How is she?" Duane whispered.
She opened her eyes and turned her head slightly so she could look at him. "I don't know how you guys can stand the smell of me." She grimaced at the pain in her throat. It felt like she was been swallowing glass and her voice wasn't even her own. It was rough and scratchy.
She pulled her knees up so Dunane could set down next to Carl. When he sat down she draped her legs across his lap. He smiled and patted her knee and then looked her in the eye. He tried to smile but it dropped and he frowned. His eyes grew moist and he looked away.
"Do you have any idea how scared we were?" He whispered, still looking down.
"Probably about as scared as I was." She whispered. Whispering was much easier. It hurt less.
He nodded, the corners of his mouth pulling up slightly. "I'm sorry. We shoulda got here sooner." He ran a hand over his face and then finally looked at her once more. "You were dead." He looked away again. "If we'd have gotten here sooner..." He shook his head.
"What?" She asked, lifting her head from Carl's chest and looking at them both. Her head felt heavy so she laid it back down. Dead? What the hell were they talking about?
"You weren't breathing. No heartbeat. Dead." His voice caught and he grabbed her hand. She gave his a squeeze.
What the hell? He wasn't making any sense. She wasn't dead. She was right here. He had her hand, he was talking to her, why was he saying she had died. "I wasn't dead, Duane. I'm right here. I'm banged up is all." she whispered.
He looked up at Carl and then his eyes met hers. "Ask him. You were dead. Me, Merle, Daryl... we just sat there like a bunch of idiots while you were laying there dead."
She frowned. "You aren't making any sense, Duane."
"Carl brought you back." he shook his head. "He was tryin' to bring you back and all the rest of could do was sit there."
Sophia felt her heart start to race. What was he saying? She had died? The last thing she remembered was Philip shoving her head into that tank. She remembered pain in her chest as the water filled her lungs but then she didn't remember anything else until she woke up, choking all that water out of her body. "I don't understand." She whispered.
"By the time we got here it was too late. He had your head shoved in that tank and when he pulled you out you were gone. All the way gone. By the time Merle and Daryl and my dad came you were just lying there. Dead on the floor."
"Duane." Carl said firmly but the other boy was completely lost in his memories of what had happened. He wasn't listening to anyone.
"Carl wouldn't stop though. The rest of us knew it was too late but he just kept going. Kept breathing for you, kept trying to get your heart to beat again." Duane's voice was barely audible.
Sophia squeezed his hand again to comfort him but she was reeling on the inside. No heartbeat. She had been dead. And the person that hadn't given up had been Carl. He had saved her? Brought her back from the dead. Jesus, she could have turned right then. Turned while he was trying to bring her back and then she could have bitten him! God, sometimes he did the dumbest stuff.
"Carl, that was dangerous. You shouldn't have done that!" She admonished him quietly.
This seemed to snap Duane out of his intense musings because his head turned toward her slowly and his eyebrows came up. A real smile tugged at his lips now.
She felt Carl's forehead hit the top of her head gently. "You've been alive again for less than half an hour and you're already bitching. Now I know you're really okay." He sounded amused but she was serious.
"I could have turned. I could have bitten you." She said as she lifted her head again. God her head felt heavy.
He stared at her, really stared, right into her eyes, for a long time. So long that all she wanted to do was put her head back down because holding it up was too hard. When his eyes left hers he studied her face carefully. "I wasn't gonna let you go, stupid."
Duane chuckled and she finally looked away from Carl in time to see the other boy lean the back of his head against the wall. "Oh, it's good to have you back." He sighed.
She just frowned at them both and then laid her head back down. She sighed. He had really saved her life. The others thought she was gone and he had saved her anyway. It almost made her want to cry but she had done enough of that today. Or tonight. She wasn't sure what time it could have been. She felt his arms tighten around her. "Thanks, Carl. I don't know what else to say but thanks."
"You could kiss him again." Duane suggested with a smirk. He was returning to normal faster than Sophia would have liked. He was such a smart ass. Like a Merle Junior.
"Shut up, Duane." She grumbled. "I didn't kiss him."
"Whatever you say cousin." he kept that trademark smirk on his face.
~H~
They had lost no one. None. Not one person from his group had died tonight. Daryl couldn't believe it. A bullet had grazed Rick's arm and Glen had taken a bullet in the thigh but Hershel and Milton were working on them both and they seemed to be in pretty good shape. Other than those two everyone else was fine. And Daryl just couldn't believe it.
Merle was now doing the gruesome job of making sure everyone that had been killed were actually dead. He was having way too much fun with the new toy strapped to his arm. He was off stabbing dead bodies in the head with it. Sick bastard liked it too. Maggie followed him, not seeming to be bothered in the least by what he was doing.
After sending everyone out to check the other buildings, just in case anyone else was hiding, Daryl finally was able to lead Carol off to get Sophia. She still didn't know everything that had happened to Sophia. He figured maybe he needed to tell her before she saw the girl. It would be a big shock for her to just walk in and see her daughter like that without any warning.
He grabbed her arm and stopped her before they could reach the room. "Hey." He said gently.
She turned to face him. Fear etched once again on her face. She wasn't going to believe that Sophia was alive until she saw her for herself. She was still waiting on him to drop some sort of bomb on her. "What?" She whispered.
"She's fine as far we know but she don't look too good. I just want you to be ready for that." he muttered.
"What happened to her. What did you guys see when you found her?" Carol asked as she took a steadying breath and then straightened her shoulders. He could see that she was fighting back tears.
"Duane and Carl made it to her first. They came in through a vent." He took a deep breath himself. "When they got into the room he was..."
The look of horror that came across her face had him stumbling over his words "He was drowning her. He had these tanks full of heads and he was drowning her." he wasn't sure what other horrors she could have been imagining.
She covered her mouth with her hand and then her head turned towards the way they had been heading.
"The boys stopped him." he went on. "When me and Merle got there Duane and Merle took Philip down and Carl..."
"Daryl please. Just tell me what happened." She begged, her eyes wet and afraid.
"Carl had to bring her back. She was dead and he..."
"Oh my God." She gasped and took a step away.
"He brought her back. She's okay. She's alive, okay? I saw her myself. But she looks bad. He must of beat on her. She's real banged up. But she's fine."
"He didn't..." She looked down and when she looked back up again her chin was trembling and she was doing all she could to hold herself together. "He didn't touch her, did he?"
His eyes dropped to the floor and he shook his head. "It didn't seem that way. She was dressed. I don't think he did that."
"But she wasn't breathing when you got there? You saw her? She was dead?" her voice broke and her whole body seemed to tremble on that last word.
He pulled her to him and crushed her to his chest. She seemed smaller than she was as she sobbed into his shirt. "She's fine. She's here and she's fine." He said quietly in her ear. He was starting to think that maybe he shouldn't have told her about that. But she would have found out eventually. May as well get it all out there now so there wouldn't be any nasty surprises later.
She pulled her face back and searched his eyes. "Carl? Carl Grimes?" She choked. "How?"
"CPR. He just wouldn't stop. Even after I thought that it was too late. He just kept goin'." He shook his head. "Then she just... came back. Scariest fuckin' thing I ever had to see in my life. Seemed like everybody in the room was out of their mind. I was. Merle, Merle was a mess, Duane was breakin' down, but Carl." He blew out a breath. "That boy wasn't gonna let her go."
"Let's go." She whispered as she wiped her tears away and took his hand.
Morgan was standing in the hall, outside the door. He nodded to them as they approached.
"How's she doin'?" Daryl asked.
Morgan smiled. "She was givin' Carl hell about somethin' just a bit ago. I think she'll be just fine."
Daryl almost smiled. She should give that poor boy a break. They had all had a rough night. When they entered the room Carol gasped and backed into him. He had forgotten how bad it really was in the room. There was a severed head sitting a few feet away from Philip's mutilated body. The heads in the tank stared on blindly. The smell was bad. Philips blood hadmixed up with the stinking water on the floor and made for a grizzly site.
Duane was just lowering his gun when Daryl spotted him. They were all three there. Sophia was still halfway on Carl's lap, the jacket and the boys arms were still wrapped around her. She must not have given him too much hell if she was still there. Her head was on his chest, her eyes closed.
Once Carol spotted her she didn't hesitate anymore. She hurried over to them and knelt down in front of them.
"Sophia?" She said quietly as she touched the side of the girl's face gently.
Sophia opened her eyes and lifted her head. When she looked at Carol full on the woman's head dropped and a sob escaped her throat. The girl's face was bruised pretty badly, the corner of her lip was split, one eye swollen slightly.
"Mom." Sophia frowned. "I'm okay." She reached up with a shaky hand and touched Carol's face.
Carol wasn't sure what to do. It looked like she was too afraid to touch her, like she would break. She covered Sophia's hand with her own. "We need to get you home. Get you cleaned up and then Hershel and Milton can take a look at you." She said in a voice that cracked with emotion.
She stood up and Duane followed suit. Carl unwound his arms from around her and Duane was pulling her up before Daryl could even reach her. She stood there on unsteady legs for a second. She looked like she would have fallen over had Duane not been holding her up. Carl stood up too, arm going around her once more.
Carol knelt down and hugged her then. Sophia was smiling weakly when she finally pulled away. "I want a shower. Now." She said in that gravely voice. "You wouldn't believe how disgusting I feel."
"We've been the one's smelling you. We believe it." Carl smirked as she glared at him.
"This whole saving my life thing is only going to go so far, Carl." She muttered dryly.
Daryl was getting impatient. She was clutching her middle tightly and he wanted to get her to Hershel and Milton as soon as he could. She wasn't very steady on her feet either, although both boys were helping her stand. He stepped forward and scooped her up. "Alright, let's get the fuck outta this place." He grumbled.
"Daryl, I'm not a baby. Put me down. I can walk." She mumbled.
"Shut up." He smirked. "Always gotta be givin' a man a hard way to go, girl."
Her lips turned up as her eyes slipped shut. It felt good to have her close. He still was having a hard time pushing the image of her lying on that floor out of his head. That was something that would be seared into his mind forever. He didn't think he would ever forget her face. Eyes half open. Unseeing and cold. He shook off the chill that ran up his back.
Carl and Duane followed after them as Carol and Morgan lead the way. When they made it outside Merle and Maggie were there along with Rick and Lori. They hadn't known about the boys role in all this until later. Daryl had been surprised that neither of them had had much to say about it. They were mostly concerned about Sophia.
Merle was having a hard time looking at the girl. He studied her sleeping face for a few long seconds and then he looked away. Maggie smiled as they made their way by.
"I'll go get daddy and Milton." She said as she pulled Merle along with her.
"I'll get her washed up. Tell them to meet us up there in about twenty minutes. She seems to be fine. I just want them to look her over just to make sure." Carol said. She hurried to catch up with Daryl.
~H~
Carol sat on the edge of the tub in Sophia and Beth's bathroom. She scrubbed the girls hair, careful with the large bump on the back of her head. She hadn't done this in years but she couldn't stand to be away from her at the moment. She tried not to think about it but she couldn't help it. She had lost her. Her daughter had died and had it not been for Carl then right now she would be in mourning instead of sitting there with her hands in her daughters hair.
She had more bruises that no one else had been aware of. Her stomach was bruised pretty badly. Sophia had told them that the man had thrown a chair at her. Daryl had barely been able to contain his anger and as soon as they had shut the door to their room, leaving him in there alone while Carol helped Sophia wash up in her own room, they heard a loud crash and then another. That bit of news had been the straw that broke the camels back. Carol was pretty sure that they would probably be looking for another room after this. But she didn't blame him. Every time something bad happened to her or Sophia he blamed himself. He hadn't been able to protect Sophia and a part of him wouldn't forgive himself for it. In a way she hated that about him but deep down, knowing that her and Sophia's safety was his main priority made her feel more safe than she had ever felt in her life. More secure than she ever thought she would be.
"You feel any better?" Carol asked as she rinsed the shampoo out of her daughters hair.
Sophia wiped water out of her eyes and nodded. "I don't think I've every felt so gross."
Her face looked much better after she was cleaned up. Carol had questions for her but wasn't sure how to ask. Daryl said that he didn't think that the man had touched her but she had to know. "Sophia?" She asked.
The girl rested the side of her face on her knees and looked at her questioningly.
"I know that you've been through a lot tonight and you probably don't want to answer any questions but I need to know something."
"Okay." Sophia muttered as she watched Carol struggle with her words.
"We know that that man did a lot. He hit you and he..." She cleared her throat, "Well, he basically drowned you. But did he do anything else? Did he..."
Understanding dawned on the girls face. "No mom. Nothing like that." She muttered. "The only reason he hit me was because I didn't have the good sense to keep from pissing him off. He never would have done... that."
"Then why did he do this? Why did he take you to begin with?" Carol asked, tears of relief flooding her eyes.
"His daughter was locked up in that room. She was a Walker and he thought he could bring her back. He tried to make her remember who she was. He didn't understand that she was gone. Or he didn't want to understand. He wanted me to try to get her to remember."
Carol couldn't help but shudder. The man had been out of his mind. How had they not seen how unhinged he was?
"And I think he chose me because of how much he didn't like Daryl." She said in a tired voice. "Bein' a Dixon is hard, mom." She smiled.
Carol felt her lips start to turn up. "Well, it is a lot of work. But I think you've done them both proud."
Sophia rolled her eyes. "Let's hope. But you have too, ya know? I still can't believe you kicked Martinez in the nuts. That was impressive, mom. You've come a long way yourself."
There was a soft knock on the door and then Beth stuck her head in. "You got company, Sophia."
"Hershel?" Carol asked.
Beth shook her head. "The boys."
"Tell'em she'll be out soon." Carol said with a soft smile.
When Beth shut the door Sophia rolled her eyes again. "They wont ever leave me alone after this."
"I think you're right. And you should consider yourself lucky you have them. I've never seen a group of kids so close in all my life. You put them through a big scare tonight."
Sophia nodded and laid her face back down on her knees. She looked thoughtful for a few seconds and then her eyes met Carol's. "Carl saved my life tonight." She whispered.
Carol felt her heart lurch at the thought but she kept her face calm. "I know he did. And I wont ever be able to repay that boy."
"Me neither." She whispered.
The girl looked troubled now. Carol figured that she had every right to look that way but she couldn't help but ask. "You sure you're okay?" She asked.
Sophia nodded and then raised her head up and sighed. "I kissed him once." She said suddenly.
Carol stared at her face for a long time, unable to think of anything to say. This wasn't good news. She figured she would have at least a few years before she had to worry about this. She knew it was inevitable but it caught her off guard. Sophia took in her face. She probably looked as stunned as she felt.
"It wasn't on purpose or anything and it wasn't anything like the way you and Daryl kiss each other sometimes. It was an accident."
Carol felt her face flush. "Oh? And how do you go about managing to kiss your best friend on accident?" She asked, trying to hide her embarrassment she felt from the barb about her and Daryl and how they kissed.
Sophia shrugged her slender shoulders. "It just happened."
Carol nodded. "It isn't something that you two do... a lot, is it?" She asked, making sure she kept her eyes on the wash cloth that she was ringing out.
"No, it isn't like that." Sophia whispered.
When Carol looked up she could see the girl blushing even through the darkening bruises on the side of her face.
They were quiet for a while. She hadn't said anything else even as she dried off and got herself dressed. Sophia looked like she was deep in thought, even as she scrubbed her teeth and gazed at her reflection. Carol was so glad to see her looking so much better already. She was clean, warm, alive. She spit into the sink and then met Carol's gaze in the mirror.
"How did you know you loved Daryl?" Se blurted out. It looked like the question surprised her as much as it did her mother. She looked away, busying herself with rinsing her mouth out.
Carol wasn't sure how to answer that. She couldn't pinpoint the exact moment it had happened. It happened quickly, she knew that much. Probably even before she had killed Ed. But she just wasn't sure. What she felt for him was such an intense thing that it seemed like something that had been born into her. Something huge and all consuming and always there. But she couldn't explain these things to a little girl.
She looked away when Sophia met her eyes again. "I just don't know." She said honestly. Did Sophia think that she loved that boy? Did she? There were new rules to this new world. Everything seemed fast and amplified compared to the way things always had been. When you felt something you felt it on a grander scale because time wasn't something anyone thought they had much of. But these were just children. Not old enough to even grasp something as confusing as that. Right?
"Sophia, what are you trying to ask?"
The girl just shrugged and shook her head. "I was just wandering."
"Do we need to... talk? About... stuff?" Carol asked hesitantly.
Sophia's head shot up and she looked pretty mortified. "Jesus, mom! No! I'm almost thirteen. I know about... things. That is not what I was talking about."
Carol couldn't help it. She laughed. She laughed until her stomach hurt while Sophia scowled at her, refusing to join her in her momentary fit of hysteria.
"Can I go now?" She asked while Carol dabbed at her eyes.
"I'm sorry, honey. I really am." Carol said as she kissed the top of her head. "You just scared me for minute is all."
Sophia made a face and headed for the door but before she could even put her hand on the knob Carol caught her hand, stopping her. She looked up questioningly.
"Honey, if you really care about that boy, and we both know you do." She smiled. "Never tell Daryl about that kiss, okay. Accident or not, there's only so much he can take, alright."
Sophia nodded her head. "That's one thing we can agree on. I wont tell if you wont."
~H~
Merle sat on the steps to the Town Hall building. Maggie was with her dad and Milton. It was a little strange not having her by his side. He grunted. There he goes again, thinking like a pussy. He rolled his eyes.
He glanced down at the blood that was splattered across the metal on his arm. He'd need to clean that up soon. Five of the Governors men had turned traitor and had fought alongside the group. Amazingly enough they hadn't lost anyone.
The thought of losing people had the vision of Sophia's dead body searing his brain once more. He flinched, closing his eyes and shaking his head. He'd been trying to block that image for a while now. It almost pissed him off. This was something he had never asked for. He never wanted to care. But he could do nothing about it now. Not a thing. When you cared about people it gave people a certain power over you. He was pretty much crushed under the power these people held over him now. Sophia, Maggie, Duane, Carol. It was a lot for a man to take.
He longed to go back to a time when the only thing he gave a shit about was his brother. He never had to worry about him. Never had to constantly watch him to make sure he was safe. But those easy days were behind him.
Sending Duane out to find Sophia had scared him to death. He almost called it off and came up with a different plan. But he knew Duane and Carl were Sophia's only chance of getting out. He felt as though he was sacrificing one for the other. He never wanted to feel like that again.
He also had to worry about the rest of the people in the town. Not that he really gave a shit about them, but they were all a bunch of sheep that listened to everything that idiot Governor had told them. Now he wasn't sure what the hell to do about them. He wasn't the man for this job. Rick would have done a lot better. That wasn't going to happen though. This was his town. His brothers town. But deep down he knew that that wasn't really true. This was their groups town. He hated thinking in those terms. He sighed.
The whole fucking town came out after the streets grew quiet once more. Thankfully Martinez and Red had ushered them back into their houses and insured them that everything was fine. Shit would most likely hit the fan tomorrow though once they learned what happened to Philip. He was a little jealous of that damn kid. He had wanted to be the one to finish the asshole off. But at least Carl had done a pretty thorough job.
"You wanna talk about it?"
Merle glanced up and just noticed Maggie standing in front of him. It was rare for someone to sneak up on a Dixon but every now and then he was caught off guard.
"Nope." He shook his head and looked away.
She sighed. When he looked back up she smiled at him. "Okay."
He frowned. "Okay?" He snorted. "You're always houndin' me about somethin', girl. You never just say okay. Are ya sick or somethin'?" He asked.
She climbed the steps and sat down behind him. Her hands went to his rigid shoulders, trying to rub the tension out of them. He damn near groaned. He hadn't realized how tense he actually was until she started working out the kinks.
"I ain't sick. I'm worried." She said quietly as her hands did their magic.
"Bout what?" He asked, his tone guarded.
"Us." She murmured.
His stomach instantly went into knots and his heart started beating hard in his chest. What did she mean by that? He must have been doing something wrong. But he was trying, which was why he was feeling sick now. He wasn't the easiest man to get along with but he did make an effort to make her happy. So why was she worrying? He sighed. "What'd I do?" He asked as he tensed once more like her words very well could be a blow to his flesh.
"Well, we have all these people to worry about now. That bastard was the one that ran this town, he knew what he was doin' around here, I give him that. But now what?"
He instantly relaxed. She wasn't talking about the two of them. She was talking about all of them. He didn't want her to have to worry about anything at all but her worrying herself over everyone was better than her worrying herself over the two of them. He didn't care if that made him selfish. He leaned back until he was pressed against her. Her arms wrapped around his neck.
"We'll figure somethin' out." He patted her arm.
"Well, the first thing I want you to do is fire that bitch at the school. Me and Carol can teach these kids. Teach about things that matter now. Like survivin'."
He grinned. "You want me to go ahead let you have the honors of tellin' her where to go?"
She laughed and then kissed his neck. "See, you do love me Merle Dixon."
He sighed. "I do."
She went still behind him for a few long seconds and then she pulled back, keeping her hands on his shoulders. "Well when did this happen?" She whispered.
He shrugged. He thought he would feel like an idiot, admitting something like that to her but he didn't. It felt kind of good. What had got him really thinking about it was when they had finally found Sophia, and then thinking she was dead, that cracked him right there. There wasn't enough time anymore for bullshit. There wasn't enough time anymore to keep your mouth shut. You had to just put things out there. If people accepted it then that was good and if they didn't then oh fucking well. At least they knew how you felt.
He'd come outside tonight after Sophia had been yanked back from the brink of death by that lovesick boy, just to realize that some crazy bastard had Maggie. He had thought right then that she was gone. The man would surely kill her. And she'd die never knowing how much she meant to him. That thought had damn near brought him to his knees. So he was going to stop. Stop acting like he had enough time to say things he needed to say and do things he needed to do. Shit needed said right now and things needed done as quick as you could get them done. No one was ever promised a certain amount of time but before all of this no one really considered death much. In this world you stared death right in it's ugly face every single day and you just hoped like a mother fucker that it didn't get a hold of you.