I really didn't expect this to be so long. I've still got a few more chapters to go, so just hang in there!

"Come on, Deidara, are you kidding me?" Naruto complained in annoyance as the flames of the gas-fire cooking his scrambled eggs suddenly reared up explosively. The long-haired blonde was sitting at the table rather moodily; toying with his food.

"Deidara; don't play with your food," Itachi scolded as he poured a fresh coffee for Shikamaru, who was struggling to stay awake, "Wake up, Shikamaru; you have to leave for school in half an hour." Shikamaru made a noncommittal kind of noise and slurped at the coffee; too lazy to even complain when he scalded his tongue. A bunch of grapes burst into flame as Deidara made sure that everyone present knew he was in a poor mood.

"Fucking chill out, blondie," Hidan snorted, stalking past and tugging on the blonde's long hair. The next step he took was right onto a flaming tile, "Fucking hell, Deidara!" One of his eyes dropped out of its socket in shock at the heat rocketing through his foot. The eyeball went soaring and landed right in Sasuke's coffee.

"God. Fucking. OW!" Hidan shrieked; clutching his empty socket in pain. Sasuke distastefully fished out the eyeball with a spoon and threw it to Naruto to run under cold water. "What's got you in a pissy mood?"

"Nothing," Deidara snapped hotly, but his words were disproven as he got up and everything in a metre radius of him caught fire. Hidan leapt back; swiftly re-obtaining his eye and managing to avoid the flames as they withered once more under Itachi's scathing scowl. Without another word, the blonde heaved his bag over his shoulder and stalked out of the kitchen; obviously off to the art studio to continue with his portfolio.

"What's wrong with your brother?" Itachi inquired of Shikamaru as Naruto hurried began stamping the remaining flames out. Shikamaru yawned.

"This happens every year," he shrugged, "It's Dei's birthday in two weeks and he's upset because dad won't be able to get off work for it."

"Oh crap, is it already his birthday?" Naruto winced; embarrassed that he'd forgotten, "Yeah; he hates his birthday; tries to pretend he doesn't care but…" He gestured at the singed floor.

"It's his twenty-first, too," Kiba piped up from where he was busy feeding Akamaru in the corner, "We all know he was hoping that dad would be able to be there."

"Fucking hell; could Deidara get any more fucking whiney?" Hidan snorted, rolling his eyes, "I'm off to work. Later." He waved casually behind him and made a quick exit.

"What exactly does Hidan do?" Itachi asked curiously, "We've been living here for two months and I still don't know."

"Anything he can," Naruto replied, chomping down on an apple, "…Short of prostitution, that is."

" –Ahh, we're not actually sure that that's out of the question," Kiba corrected with a laugh, "Yeah; he does jobs for everyone in town; drives trucks and does deliveries and the likes. He probably has more jobs than dad."

"What does he want to, you know; do with his life?" Itachi asked curiously as he opened the oven and pulled out a perfectly browned quiche that he'd been making that morning.

"Asides from put us all through college?" Kiba snorted, "We don't have a fucking clue."

" –Put you all through college?"

"We're all graduating from high school at the end of the year," Naruto reminded Itachi, "Dad couldn't even afford to send Deidara when he graduated, and we can't all have scholarships like Shikamaru and Neji; so Hidan's been helping dad out. Don't tell Deidara though; it's a surprise."

"Wow," Itachi blinked in surprise at hearing this about the loudmouth Hidan. He was working to help Kisame's kids get through college. What…what a nice guy. He was thoroughly glad he'd bought the guy a car. "Kiba; come get something to take to school for lunch; you can't just go eating that dog food all the time. Sasuke, you too; you can't live on tomatoes."

"When exactly did you become the boss of me?" Sasuke sniffed crossly, but accepted the piece of quiche in a snap-lock bag that he was offered. Sakura and Ino suddenly made an appearance; having just finished getting ready for school.

"Young lady; what did your father say about wearing miniskirts to school?" Itachi queried sternly; folding his arms as he examined what Ino was wearing.

"Don't tell him, please!" Ino begged.

"Give me one good reason."

"…There's this guy who Ino likes," Sakura giggled, earning an annoyed slap and a 'traitor!' from her sister, "Oh come on, Ino; it's Itachi! There's this guy Ino likes, and she really wants him to notice her." Itachi sighed.

"Ino, you don't want to be chasing after a guy who only notices you when you wear skimpy clothes," he informed her, "What happened to that guy, Chouji? I thought you really liked him?"

"Well, I did; but he doesn't seem to be interested," Ino complained, "He doesn't come over and talk to me at all!"

"Just go and talk to him first," Itachi sniffed, "Since when do you have to sit around and wait for a guy to make the first move; he might just be shy because you're so pretty." Ino brightened immediately and beamed; wrapping her arms around his waist in a tight hug, "Now make sure you eat your lunch; you're getting too skinny. I won't tell Kisame about the miniskirt if you go and talk to Chouji today. Sakura; I'm relying on you to make sure she does it."

"Sure thing," Sakura grinned, taking her lunch. "You're the best!" She quickly stepped up and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before she and Ino hurried off towards the door with Kiba and Naruto.

"Bye mom!" Sakura hollered back as she headed through the door; only to blush as she remembered herself, "I mean; bye Itachi!"

"Have a…have a good day at school," Itachi called after them; noticing his brother packing up rather smugly, "…Say nothing," he added darkly as he began clearing up the breakfast dishes. "That's the third time I've been called 'mom' this week."

"…Well, you are currently wearing an apron," Sasuke informed him dryly, repressing the urge to laugh at his brother's unimpressed face.

"Go to school," Itachi snapped, "And take Shikamaru with you. Shikamaru –"

"Yes mom…" the lazy teenager retorted with a chuckle; seeing Itachi with his hands on his hips impatiently. Itachi rolled his eyes; knowing that he was being mocked this time. He watched his brother leave the kitchen and was relieved when he was finally alone.

He could maybe understand why the kids kept accidentally calling him 'mom'. He made them school lunches and made sure they did their homework; kept the fridge well stocked; made them dinner sometimes; that was the least he could do to help out around the house. Of course, thanks to Ino, they'd found out he was gay; and the two girls had found it in their hearts to confide in him their boy troubles and general teenage girl angst. Unfortunately, being their 'mom' made him feel as though he was also Kisame's 'wife'.

The problem with that, was that he found his didn't actually have a problem with it.

More and more recently, he'd found himself getting very distracted by the older man. It was his own fault, really; for buying him tight shirts that accentuated his very impressed muscles; and well-fitting jeans that well…kind of just made him imagine…Even the fact that he was completely blue wasn't a turn off. There was just something incredibly appealing about him, and Itachi was a little unnerved about it.

He'd be lying if he said he didn't prefer older men. He'd been eighteen when he started dating Nagato, who'd been past thirty. There was only a twelve-year different between him and Kisame…

"Stop thinking about him, Itachi," Itachi muttered crossly to himself, "Stop it! You are probably going to be leaving soon! This was meant to be a business trip. Stop thinking…" he took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He wasn't thinking about his chiselled Kisame's body was; or how kind he was to his kids; or how sexy his voice sounded; or how good he smelled.

"Goddamn it."

"Okay, now kids; you be sure to behave for Hidan," Kisame called out into the house as he adjusted the suit jacket he was wearing.

"Yes dad!" the teenagers called from the various landings as they spied down on their father waiting at the front door for Itachi.

"…Like these little shits are going to listen to a fucking word I say…" Hidan could be heard scoffing from the living room.

"Itachi; reservation's booked for seven-thirty," Kisame reminded him loudly, "Sakura; was it really necessary to tell him to book the most expensive restaurant in town?" he added with a sigh as he looked over to where his angelic daughter was reading her textbook on the floor. "It's just a business meeting."

"Well you don't get to eat out much at all," she sniffed, "And Itachi said he was paying in the hopes that it might help sway you. Besides; you finally get to wear your suit!"

"You're impossible, you know that?" Kisame sighed heavily; spying Itachi appearing at the top of the stairs and descending it with all the elegance and class expected of an Uchiha. He looked particularly mysterious tonight; black suit with a blue dress shirt and a black tie; looking completely the part of a representative of his father's corporation.

"And here I was getting used to seeing you in a casual wear," Kisame teased with a smirk.

"You scrub up well enough," Itachi replied haughtily, "Hopefully tonight we can finally sort out some business proposals; my father's really looking forward to working with you. And my mother won't stop talking about your children." Kisame just chuckled and gestured for the door; giving his visible children a warning glare to behave themselves. Several pairs of innocent eyes looked back at him and the door shut as the pair of them departed.

"Okay; so how long do we give them until we follow them?" Sakura immediately inquired curiously as Kiba and Ino slid down the banister and Shikamaru and Suigetsu melted down into the living room from the floor above.

"You're really going to do this?" Sasuke commented flatly.

"Of course!" Ino exclaimed, "This has totally got to be some kind of secret date!"

"…That doesn't seem like Itachi," he frowned, "…At least not openly."

"Oh come on; you can't say you don't want to spy on your brother, yeah," Deidara sniggered.

"Good point," Sasuke shrugged with a smirk, "So what's the plan?"

"I say we give them like…twenty minutes to get there and get settled," Sakura plotted, "Then Naruto's going to teleport Shikamaru in and he's going to spy on them as a shadow; and he can communicate everything that happens to Ino!"

"Should we really be prying into dad's private life?" Neji frowned, folding his arms sensibly, "I mean, this could just be a simple business meeting."

" –Well yeah," Suigetsu protested, "But on the off-chance it's a secret date; are you really prepared to not be in the know?"

"…Good point," Neji admitted, "Proceed."

"I'm going," Sasuke informed them; surprising them all, "What?" he added defensively when he saw their incredulous looks, "He's my brother; I should get to see first-hand what I'm later going to blackmail him with."

"I like the way you think, Uchiha," Naruto chuckled, "Hidan, you cannot tell dad what we're doing!"

"My lips are fucking sealed," Hidan cackled, "I'll be the first one to congratulate him if he ends up nailing 'Tachi."

"You're a fucking Neanderthal, yeah," Deidara snapped crossly.

"We don't want him to just nail him!" Ino sniffed, "We want Itachi to stay!"

"What?" Sasuke frowned; raising an eyebrow and she blushed and struggled for words for a moment; finally deciding to stick to her statement.

"He's good for dad," she explained defensively, "Daddy laughs more when he's around; and he's nice; and thanks to him, I have a date with Chouji next Wednesday!" She folded her arms huffily and her siblings laughed. Sasuke just sighed in resignation; rolling his eyes.

Twenty-five minutes later, he found himself standing outside what was apparently the fanciest restaurant in town. He stumbled forwards; feeling a little bit motion sick. Naruto just chuckled; laying a hand on his shoulder to help steady him.

"Feel like throwing up?" Shikamaru inquired dryly. Sasuke nodded shortly. "Yeah; I don't get how Naruto can do it so much. Disintegrating into atoms and then reforming gives me indigestion." Without another word, he sank into the ground; becoming nothing more than a black pool of shadow that slowly began to creep towards the door; latching onto the shadow of another customer just entering the premises.

"…That's creepy," Sasuke commented flatly.

"Glad you're not the only one who thinks that," Naruto smirked, "Come on; let's go find somewhere to hide!" It didn't take the pair of them very long to locate Kisame; after all, his blue skin stood out against the crowd. They crouched in the garden; concealed by a hedge; able to spy on the pair quite clearly from their vantage point. Itachi was leaning on one of his hands; scanning through the menu whilst intently listening to what Kisame was saying.

"God, Itachi; you're so transparent," Sasuke muttered, rolling his eyes.

"I don't know if dad has noticed," Naruto commented with a frown.

The two of them sat there for nearly two hours; watching the progression of the meal. The atmosphere appeared to grow more casual; Itachi ordering several glasses of wine and even laughing a little bit. Mostly, though, his smiles were kept small; a trait that Sasuke had come to associate with his brother enjoying himself. Kisame didn't seem to have quite the same reservations, talking amiably and quite freely. Sasuke didn't know if Naruto had noticed, but over the course of the time they had been sitting there, their legs had grown closer under the table, and as they talked post-dessert, their hands on the table were almost touching.

"Oh shit, there's someone coming!" Naruto hissed, tugging on Sasuke's shirt as he spied a waiter coming out into the area near where they were concealed.

"Then don't just sit there, get down!" Sasuke snapped and the two of them immediately ducked down into the garden as footsteps grew closer. The raven was pretty certain that the shrub above them was concealing them from sight from above…and he was also pretty certain that he was currently lying on top of Naruto.

"I hope this table suits you," the waiter was saying; apparently to a couple who were being seated just on the opposite side of the hedge. Naruto shifted beneath him; parting his legs a little to make himself more comfortable. Unfortunately, it meant that Sasuke was now lying quite firmly between the blonde's legs; with said blonde breathing rather heavily in his ear.

"…Quit breathing so loud!" he hissed darkly; the breathing and the proximity a little bit, well…close. He could feel Naruto's stomach pressed against his; could feel each breath he was taking.

"Sorry…" Naruto whispered against the raven's pale neck; sending a shiver down Sasuke's spine. He could hear the waiter inquiring whether the couple would care for a drink. Sasuke turned his head to look at the blonde; and suddenly found that their faces were just a little bit too close for comfort; Naruto's bright blue eyes twinkling in the dim lighting.

Apparently the waiter was new to the job or something, because as he was leaving the table, he stumbled, and his weight fell against the hedge for a moment; jolting the back of Sasuke's head and propelling it directly into Naruto's.

Their lips met for the briefest of moments; nothing more than a light touch; a gentle kiss. Sasuke's eyes widened as Naruto's eyes bulged and they both drew an awkward, shaky breath; even more aware now of the compromising situation they were currently in. Naruto squirmed awkwardly; squirming that Sasuke discovered he didn't altogether hate.

"…Am I interrupting something?" Shikamaru's amused voice remarked from the shadows nearby and both their faces turned in horror in the direction of the sound, "They're paying now. Are we going home?"

"Good plan," Naruto decided weakly.

"I can't believe it was just about business," Ino sulked as the teenagers all sat on the landings of the second and third floors in the dark; out of sight of the front door.

" –Not true," Shikamaru reminded her with a roll of his eyes, "They were talking about their childhoods; and what Itachi hoped to accomplish with the Uchiha Corporation; dad's also glad that we all like Itachi, by the way –"

"…And there was nothing?" Sakura pressed, "No hand holding? No winking?"

"No," Shikamaru replied for what felt like the thousandth time. There were heavy sighs from the four wings that were currently being occupied by the teenagers. "What's your take, Sasuke?" he added, turning to the raven who was sitting next to him.

"Itachi likes him," Sasuke snorted.

"Well obviously," Sakura snorted from downstairs.

"Ssh! They're back!" Kiba hissed, and they descended into silence as the front door opened.

"…Kids?" Kisame called out into the house; receiving no response, "Well, I hope they're doing their homework. Hidan's probably gone to sleep; lazy asshole." He chuckled to himself, "You didn't need to pay for dinner, Itachi."

"It was only polite; I arranged this," Itachi sniffed as though it was no trouble, "I'm glad we got the chance to talk things over. It was nice." Sasuke's eyes widened suddenly as he noticed the way that Itachi brushed his bangs back off his face; almost nervously; only for them to fall back into place. He averted his eyes and licked his lips slightly.

"Shikamaru; Itachi wants Kisame to kiss him!" he hissed hurriedly.

"What?" Shikamaru growled back, "Are you sure?"

"…You really think this is the first time I've spied on Itachi?" Sasuke snorted; having seen Itachi on numerous first dates –always acting in the exact same way, "This is Itachi being a girl from a romantic comedy! He wants him to kiss him!"

"If I didn't know better, Itachi Uchiha; I'd say that that was a date," Kisame joked with a light smirk. Itachi just met his gaze coolly.

"Well, it's a good thing you know better," he remarked in an aloof tone, " –Seeing as this was purely business, after all."

"Indeed," the elder man commented, "I mean…it's a shame, really; because if this hypothetically was a date…" he mused; almost to himself, "Then this would be when I kiss you, right?"

"Goddamn it, Shikamaru," Sasuke hissed as he watched Itachi's cheeks dust slightly pink. Itachi didn't get the chance to offer a retort for this, because apparently Kisame had managed to pick up the subtle signs without the intervention of his psychic son.

Before Itachi could say anything, Kisame grasped his neck with one hand and drew him in; firmly pressing their mouths together. Lips languidly massaged the raven's; slowly coaxing a response from him. Black eyes fluttered closed for a moment; drinking in Kisame's scent and revelling in the warmth of the lips pressed against his. Just as he felt a tongue trail sensually across his lips, he pulled back with a gasp; remembering himself.

"I…I um…." He stammered; for once at a loss as to what to say to save the situation, "Goodnight…" Without another word, he stalked off haughtily towards the stairs; just knowing that he was blushing furiously. Why did he have to be such a good kisser? Why did he have to be so handsome? What was it about Kisame that made him want to just be ravished by him? He blushed even deeper at the mere thought of such ravishing...but that didn't stop him from still being rather curious...

Kisame just sighed heavily to himself, running a hand through his hair and heading to the kitchen to make some tea; finding this flustered Itachi just a little cute. Well…at least that was out in the open now. In all honesty, he hadn't thought he'd stood a chance until he'd found out about Itachi's ex-boyfriend and the age gap. He hadn't wanted to make a move and seemed like some kind of creeper…but if Itachi was into older men…and after all…He touched his lips and chuckled to himself.

"…Itachi totally kissed back!" Sakura squealed in delight as soon as both of them were out of earshot.

"Definitely," Neji agreed.

"Oh my god, Itachi, could you be any lamer?" Sasuke snorted condescendingly; facepalming.

"He has to like dad," Suigetsu smirked.

"Kids! Go to your rooms!" Kisame's voice called from the kitchen and they all cringed; now aware that Kisame knew that they were at the very least speculating about what had conspired. As they giggled and split off to their respective rooms; Sasuke was suddenly forced to remember the fact that he and Naruto had kissed.

It had been slight; but it had been a kiss, nonetheless. And while the blonde had been wriggling underneath him! It hadn't been unpleasant. Well; there hadn't really been enough of a kiss for him to know if it was pleasant or unpleasant.

Damn. Now he was curious. Curious was bad. Curious meant that he was intrigued to know whether he'd actually like kissing Naruto. Naruto. Now that he thought about it, though, the blonde was attractive enough; tanned and athletic. His personality was a bit…too much sometimes…but he had to admit that he'd grown…accustomed to it. He ran a hand through his hair in annoyance and glared at nothing in particular. He had to get rid of any kind of those thoughts.

Especially since while he had been on top of Naruto; he'd found himself imagining the same erotic expression on his face that the blonde had been wearing the night he'd teleported into his room.

"Tch…and you judge Itachi for being in denial," Shikamaru smirked as he passed by him; Sasuke's scowl immediately deepening, "Don't worry; my lips are sealed."

"Stay the fuck out of my head, Shikamaru!"

Teehee, Itachi, Itachi; why do you run away from the man you want! And Sasuke...stop being dumb. Don't worry...they'll see the light soon!
There's still a few more chapters in the works; hope you're still enjoying; hope you're still keeping up; hope you having been kept waiting for too long! Review to pass the time til the next update? :D

xx K