Warning: contains lemon.
"Yo; Deidara; happy birthday," Hidan drawled; handing a card in an envelope to the bright birthday boy as he sat gleefully on the couch surrounded by presents. He was especially delighted because Itachi had pulled some strings and given him his first present of the day; his father. Hearing that Deidara wanted Kisame to be there for his twenty-first birthday had damn near broken the stoic Uchiha's heart, and he'd just had to get the man some time off work.
It was lunch time and Deidara was finally allowed to open his presents after a birthday lunch that Itachi had planned under Sasuke's advice –not that Sasuke would admit doing something nice like that. He'd finished the ones from his siblings and the envelope he was holding was the final one. Deidara frowned, opening the envelope rather suspiciously.
"…What's this, yeah? A bank statement?" he finally inquired after staring at the piece of paper in bewilderment. Hidan chuckled to himself; leaning on the back of the couch from behind him.
"It's a fucking college fund," he corrected with a smirk.
"A college fund?"
" –For you," the platinum-haired man explained.
"For…" Deidara blinked several times before his eyes widened in astonishment, "What the fuck, Hidan?"
"From me," Hidan added simply, "Happy birthday, Dei. I hope you have a fucking good time at college."
"You can't give this to me," Deidara snapped irritably, "This is a joke, right? You don't just give someone this much money, yeah!"
"I can," Hidan snorted, "I fucking wanted to, and I fucking know how much you fucking wanted to go to college; so happy goddamn twenty-first birthday." Deidara's mouth fell open in shock. "Oh…and by the way…"
Suddenly, Hidan leaned in to Deidara's bewildered face and pressed a harsh; open-mouthed kiss against his lips; gripping the back of the blonde's neck tightly. His tongue slid into Deidara's mouth for a moment before Hidan retreated once more.
"Hidan! What the hell?" Deidara shrieked; reeling backwards and toppling off the couch on top of Suigetsu. Hidan just smirked to himself; wiping his lips smugly as he straightened up.
"…There's a fucking reason I don't call Kisame 'dad'," he chuckled; tucking his hands into his pockets and sauntering casually over to the door, "I'm off to work. See you guys tonight!" The door slammed shut behind him.
"Hidan, you can't just fucking drop bombshells like that and fucking leave!" Deidara shouted angrily; with no response except for the sniggers of his siblings, "What the fuck guys; can you believe what he just did? That asshole just kissed me, yeah!"
"Uh, that's coz he likes you," Ino giggled.
"What? And how the fuck would you know?"
"…Mind reader. Duh," she rolled her eyes. Deidara's mouth dropped open once more when he saw that everyone was looking just a little guilty.
"You knew?" he snapped, "You all fucking knew; and none of you told me?"
"I thought he didn't call me 'dad' because there was a small age gap," Kisame admitted with a shrug; looking over at Itachi to find that the raven was pointedly not looking at him, "…Turns out he just didn't want you to see him as a brother…."
"You guys are fucking assholes!"
Sasuke was feeling a little uncomfortable with how little convincing it took for the supernaturals to drag him out for Deidara's birthday celebration. They'd spent the afternoon watching movies and eating junk food and making not-so-subtle references to how Itachi currently seemed to be avoiding their father; and now here they were…at a strip club.
"Okay; someone please remind me why Neji is up on stage dressed in drag, doing burlesque to Lady Marmalade?" Sasuke asked weakly as he took a scull of whatever cocktail they were all being served. Everyone burst out laughing as they looked up to the stage to see Neji there in the centre; dressed in full corset outfit; high heels and garter; hair and makeup completing the look.
"I think the real question you should be asking is, 'why is he so good?'" Sakura snorted as there was a loud whistle from one of their school mates from one of the other tables. Sasuke couldn't help but laugh as he watched Neji; the other boy was way too good at the dance routine; although his eyes said 'kill me now'.
"Gaara's got a bit of a thing for Neji," Naruto chuckled; elbowing Sasuke and nodding over to where a redhead with a kanji tattoo on his forehead was rather obviously checking out the dancing brunette.
"God, I would kill to have legs as good as Neji's," Ino remarked; completely jealous, "Oh and by the way; he's dancing because he was dared. We always make him do a dare like this so the strippers give him dance lessons."
" –It's his fault for looking so girly," Kiba chortled.
"Dares?" Sasuke frowned.
"Oh yeah; it's kind of a birthday tradition," Suigetsu informed him, "I already did one; had to sneak into houses and steal women's underwear."
" –And later tonight, Ino has to sneak into someone's mind and give them real perverted dreams," Sakura chuckled, "There have been some hilarious ones; Ino's got a healthy imagination!"
"Well that's coz Shikamaru gives me ideas from what you lot have all been dreaming about," Ino sniffed crossly and Naruto found himself blushing rather fiercely as he accepted another drink. He was starting to feel a bit intoxicated, and was glad he'd gotten a dare over before they arrived at the club. He'd had to sneak into the circuits running at the movies and flash the entire cinema.
Finally, the song finished, and a rather grim-looking Neji stalked off the stage to remove all traces of this event from his memory. Hidan suddenly leapt up on stage in a suit and tie. " –Hey you fuckers!" he crowed, "I'm Hidan; your MC! Tonight the drinks are being paid for by Sasuke Uchiha; big ups to you man! Oh…and it's a good night to be gay; guys! Happy fucking birthday Dei –" He immediately tossed aside the microphone and leapt onto the stage as four other men appeared from behind the curtain clad in the same apparel.
"Oh hell no," Deidara growled flatly; recognising the song that had just started up.
It's raining men!
Hidan tore off first his shirt, and then his pants; leaving him clad in only black hot-pants; joining in with the routine that the other male strippers were busy dancing along to. Deidara's cheeks instantly turned bright red as Hidan winked over at him; pelvic thrusting the air dramatically. Sakura chuckled to herself; suddenly getting up and flinging her brother over her shoulder with ease. Calmly, she stalked up to the stage and flung him onto it.
The blonde was caught by three of the hunky men; Hidan grabbing his lithe hips from behind and running his hands harshly down them and dipping towards his inner thighs. Deidara looked both mortified and aroused by this turn of events as Hidan brushed his lips down his tanned neck.
"You guys are awful," Sasuke remarked flatly to Sakura as she returned to her seat rather smugly.
"…You just wait," she smirked slyly, and the raven suddenly noticed that Naruto was missing.
"Oi; Shikamaru; it's your turn," Kiba sniggered. Shikamaru sighed heavily; sculling his drink to finish and then focusing on someone across the room. Sasuke followed the lazy teen's gaze to find that it was settled on a pretty blonde; a girl from school named Temari who he'd noticed appeared to have some kind of attraction to Shikamaru.
He also saw the shadow sneaking across the room and under the table. A few moments later, he watched her fidget; her face starting to flush in embarrassment. Her breathing appeared to be a little choked, and she was clenching her legs tightly together. Temari's eyes closed a little; her mouth falling open slightly and her hands gripping the edge of the table.
"…What's he doing to her?" Sasuke frowned.
"...You sure you want to know?" Suigetsu sniggered with a short laugh. Sasuke immediately averted his eyes as a flustered Temari apparently excused herself to the bathroom. "We don't play nice with dares!"
"…Excuse me…" Shikamaru remarked with a self-conscious cough as he began heading in the direction of the bathroom.
"Go get her, Shika," Sakura encouraged slyly. He flicked his middle finger at her lazily.
An hour or so passed. Naruto didn't come back and Sasuke was frowning to himself about it. Hidan was now sitting in one of the booths nearby with Deidara perched in his lap and they were making out like there was no tomorrow. Hidan was still in his hot-pants and the blonde was apparently not minding in the slightest; grinding up against him without a care that he was in public.
"…Well that was a complete turnaround," Sasuke muttered as he averted his eyes.
"Oh, we all knew Deidara's temper was due to sexual frustration," Neji remarked flatly, "Not that we'd say that of course."
" –Oi, Neji; there's a cute redhead that's been eyeing you up," Sakura chuckled, jerking her thumb over to where Gaara was apparently still rather interested.
"Well then he can come over here and buy me a drink," Neji snapped, "I refuse to be as indecent as Deidara!"
"Well see if you're still saying that after a few more shots," Suigetsu chuckled and the brunette glared at him crossly.
This was never the way I planned
Not my intention…
"Hey Sasuke," Shikamaru remarked; suddenly arriving back from the bathroom and tucking his shirt in as he did so, "…You might want to watch this one." Sasuke; feeling a huge amount of apprehension, looked up towards the stage.
Oh god, that was Naruto.
Apparently Naruto had been dares to strip to Katy Perry's 'I Kissed a Girl'. And apparently, he was quite the talented stripper.
"Naruto loses a lot of bets," Kiba offered as explanation when Sasuke glanced over at him; eyes wide in bewilderment. The raven turned his gaze back to the stage where Naruto had just dragged off his stripper pants; yes those were hot pants, and why the hell did they have the Uchiha family crest on them?
The supernaturals all roared with laughter as Naruto playfully slapped his ass and winked over his shoulder at Sasuke, who was practically seeing red.
" –Naruto may have been dared to give you a lap dance," Shikamaru smirked, pushing Sasuke back into his seat, "Your dare is to sit through it."
"…You said you wouldn't say anything!" Sasuke snapped irritably.
"I didn't say anything," the lazy evil genius chuckled smugly, "Everyone else agreed with the dare. And Naruto takes these dares very seriously." Naruto had suddenly descended from the stairs and was making his was over to where Sasuke was sitting. Everyone within a metre radius quickly moved their chairs away; giggling gleefully.
Sasuke felt tanned fingers trail across his chest as Naruto circled predatorily; slyly undoing the first three buttons of his shirt. And then suddenly, there was a weight in his lap and hands draped over his shoulders as the blonde lightly began to grind down on his crotch. A hand trailed down his chest, catching one of his pale hands and guiding it to rest in the small of Naruto's back.
"Shikamaru is so dead," Sasuke muttered; his words slurring slightly as Naruto swivelled so that his back was against the raven's chest. This also meant that Sasuke's hand was now trailing down that tanned, bare chest; ghosting over a hard nipple and down towards a toned abdomen. Naruto leaned back so that their faces were nearly touching and turned the raven's chin so that they were facing each other. Still, he continued to grind.
Naruto could feel his heart racing as Sasuke's hand slid down his side. He could feel the raven's clothed cock against his ass and it was just bringing back dream after dream that he'd had of Sasuke. Now, here he was; grinding in his lap; so close that he only had to…
Sasuke felt his own skin growing hot and his eyes beginning to glaze over in lust as he felt Naruto move against him; his legs spread wide to either side of the raven's knees. And now; they were gazing at each other –blue against black –Naruto's breath beginning to hitch with each subtle brush of his ass against Sasuke's pelvis.
It felt so wrong; it felt so right. Don't mean I'm in love tonight…
Their lips met in a searing kiss; tongues diving into each other's mouths viciously. Sasuke's hands gripped Naruto tightly; one hand sliding up to tweak one of his pert nipples, and the other sliding south to his upper inner thigh. Naruto moaned; deepening the kiss and feeling Sasuke gaining dominance over him. One of his hands reached up to grip raven locks tightly as the movement of their hungry lips became needier and more passionate. He couldn't help but continue to grind his ass back against Sasuke's lap; harder this time; more wantonly.
He could feel the tips of Sasuke's fingers beginning to ghost teasingly against the fabric of his hot pants. He was surprised at how not bothered he was about being in a public area; surrounded by people they knew. Then again; he and Sasuke had both had a considerable amount to drink…He pulled back with a low moan as Sasuke latched onto his neck and sucked at his racing pulse; kissing hard enough to bruise.
All of sudden, the pair was completely doused in freezing water. Naruto leapt up; shivering dramatically as Sasuke spat out a mouthful of water. Suigetsu reformed from the puddle with a howl of laughter at how drenched the pair of them was.
"…Thought maybe the two of you needed a bit of cooling off!" he cackled, shoving another drink in each of their hands amid the sound of the music changing to the next song. "Fucking hell; we were about two minutes away from gay porn right there…"
"I…I might go get changed…" Naruto remarked; staggering slightly as he realised that he was actually relatively intoxicated. Sasuke just looked over at Naruto's siblings, who all looked thoroughly amused; though Sakura did look a little sorry that he was now currently soaking wet.
"I'm sure Neji has some spare clothes you can borrow," she assured him as he squelched over; thoroughly unimpressed.
" –Oh hell no; I am not wearing drag!" Sasuke snapped; the cold water having made him snap back to reality to realise that he had, like Suigetsu said; been only minutes away from doing unspeakable things to Naruto, in a public place. And he didn't even think he'd regret it (well, maybe the public part). It was fairly safe to say that he really quite enjoyed kissing Naruto. And if the way the blonde had been needily grinding his ass into his lap was any indication; Naruto had quite enjoyed kissing him back.
Itachi sighed in exhaustion as he put away the last plate in the kitchen. Those kids had made an absolute mess! And no doubt they were going to come trudging home as drunk as all hell in the early hours of the morning.
"Finally done are you?" Kisame inquired curiously as he entered the kitchen in just his pyjama pants; probably heading to make himself some tea. Itachi averted his eyes guiltily and headed over to the overhead cupboard where the mugs were kept.
"They sure made a mess," he commented casually, "I just finished vacuuming; did you want some tea?"
"No, I can get it," Kisame assured him; coming up behind him and reaching up past him to easily reach a mug. Itachi felt rock-solid muscle against his back and felt callused hands graze against his own. He swallowed nervously and spun around; coming face-to-face with Kisame, who was peering down at him quizzically. With a very un-Uchiha-like 'eep' he slid away and headed over to the sink; pretending to continue to clean while the other man put the jug on.
"Something bothering you, Itachi?' Kisame asked innocently. He knew for a fact that Itachi had been desperately trying to avoid him since he'd kissed him, and it was puzzling him to no end. He seemed to just get a little flustered whenever he was close; and right now he was definitely blushing.
"Not –not at all; why would anything be bothering me?" Itachi replied stiffly. Chuckling to himself and deciding it was worth a shot, Kisame headed over to the sink and hovered behind the Uchiha; placing his hands firmly over top of Itachi's pale ones. Itachi could've protested, but black eyes just turned to glare at him sharply and he smirked; slowly letting his fingers slot between Itachi's and lowering his head to kiss the crook of a pale neck.
A short puff of hot air escaped the raven's lips as he felt a warm mouth descend to his sensitive skin. Kisses trailed up his throat and he found himself pressing into them. Heat began to pool in his gut as Kisame initiated a slow; deep kiss that had him feeling weak at the knees.
Itachi moaned slightly; his lips parting eagerly to allow a tongue to delve in. The hot muscle mapped out his mouth and he was roughly spun and pressed up against the bench; one of Kisame's huge hands supporting his back, and the other sliding steadily lower. Itachi unwittingly allowed one of Kisame's knees to slip between his thighs and he ground down slightly; desperately denying that it felt good. His hands trailed up Kisame's warm, bare chest, and were about to loop lustfully around his neck –but then Itachi remembered himself and pulled back.
"…What is it?" Kisame inquired softly; kissing his neck again and his pointed teeth nipping playfully at his sensitive skin.
"I –Kisame…we can't do this," Itachi breathed.
"Why not?" the other man inquired, giving on of his ass cheeks a firm grope, "If you dare say because it's mixing work and pleasure; I will be forced to remind you about your ex-boyfriend." When Itachi apparently couldn't come up with a reason, he sighed, and pulled back; running a hand through his hair and rolling his eyes.
"…I like you, Itachi," he commented casually, "I'm also very attracted to you; and I know you're attracted to me." He paused and turned with a small smirk, "…So if you want to continue this…I'll be in my room."
Itachi was left alone in the kitchen; leaning against the bench and trying desperately to get his breathing to return to normal. He could still feel Kisame's lips and hands on him and he wanted more. He had stopped because well…they were leaving soon, and there was business…and who was he kidding? He wanted Kisame naked and moaning his name; and had he not stopped, he probably would've ended up begging to be fucked on the kitchen bench. He groaned; rubbing his forehead and shivering at the feeling of Kisame's muscles underneath his hands.
"…Hmm…Kisame forgot his tea."
Taking up the tea led to Kisame offering him a cup; which Itachi found himself accepting and then never getting to drink.
Instead, he ended up in Kisame's lap; straddling the bigger man while simultaneously receiving a tongue down his throat. He felt his hair being torn from its ponytail and thick hands running through it as his lips were ravaged hungrily. His shirt was dragged from him and thrown to the floor; Kisame wasting no time in sliding a hand down the raven's bare back and delving below his waistband.
He was a mess of quivering moans by the time Kisame was stretching his entrance with three slicked fingers. On his hands and knees, he needily pushed back against the digits penetrating him and let out a low moan when they slammed into his prostate.
"H-How did...how did you know I wanted this?" Itachi whispered in a voice quivering with anticipation.
"Psychic children, Itachi," Kisame whispered in his ear; kissing his neck hungrily and sliding his huge erection up the seam of Itachi's ass; grazing his entrance teasingly. The raven let out a whimper when he felt the hot flesh trailing against his sensitive entrance. Chuckling to himself; Kisame repeated the action; only to receive a filthy (though lust-filled) look from Itachi.
"S-Stop your teasing and get on with it," he hissed; his hair running freely across his face, which was tinged pink. Already, hickeys were beginning to become visible on the raven's throat. Kisame smirked and leaned down to kiss him again as he slowly began to push his thick cock against Itachi's loosened entrance. Itachi moaned as he was entered; having missed the feeling of something so hot inside him. Without warning, Kisame gave a sharp thrust and entered him completely; slamming in deep and sending a wave of pleasure through the raven's body. Itachi gave a loud moan and gripped the sheets tightly; grinding back against the body behind him as an indication for more.
"…You like it deep, do you?" Kisame whispered predatorily as he pulled back to the tip and then slammed in once more before striking up a pattern of fast, deep thrusts that had Itachi throwing back his head and crying Kisame's name. Huge hands dug into pale hips as the bigger man pounded hard into the lithe body beneath him; feeling every clench of Itachi's inner walls and grunting in pleasure with how good it felt to be inside him. All Itachi could do was grip the bedsheets tightly and spread his legs wider to allow Kisame more room to slam deeper inside him. He was being gripped so tightly and fucked so forcefully he felt like he was being torn apart. But he was being filled with far too much pleasure to care.
As Itachi found himself racing towards orgasm, Kisame suddenly pulled out and bodily grabbed him. He was about to protest, when he was roughly dragged back into the bigger man's lap and roughly impaled him back onto his cock.
"Kisame!" Itachi moaned; throwing back his head and beginning to roughly ride the bigger man; feeling him moving deep inside him and sending him into fits of pleasure. He could feel his entrance stretching; muscles loosening to allow Kisame access; and revelled in the way that the elder man filled him. The raven clawed at his back; raking down his muscles and kissing him passionately as he slammed himself down on the cock beneath him; until he finally reached orgasm; cumming in white ribbons across their chests. Kisame, unable to hold back any longer with Itachi clenching tightly around him, gave several sharp thrusts up before reaching his own release deep inside the raven. He bit down on his shoulder and Itachi moaned his name; feeling the sharp bite and the sensation of something warm coating his insides.
Kisame relaxed back against the headboard; his body coated with sex-sweat. Itachi collapsed against his chest in exhaustion; feeling a hand run tenderly through his messy hair and the other resting gently at his lower back. Itachi kissed Kisame's chest.
"…We should've used a condom," Kisame remarked apologetically; but this was the least of Itachi's worries. He was scowling. "Oh can you stay lightened up for like five more minutes? I quite liked the Itachi that was screaming my name."
"I was not screaming," Itachi sniffed defensively; his limbs feeling weak with euphoria.
"If you say so," Kisame shrugged with a smirk, "…You want another round?"
"…Your kids are going to know anyway, aren't they?" Itachi muttered moodily at the elder man's chest.
"What? That we had sex?" Kisame raised an eyebrow, "Yeah." Itachi just sighed and then chuckled to himself; perching a little higher on the elder man's lap and melding their mouths together.
"…In that case…"
Yay for KisaIta!
And where do they go from here?
And how are Sasuke and Naruto going to feel when they wake up in the morning?
Stay tuned (and review) to find out!
Also, I couldn't resist throwing in a little splash of HidaDei; I f***ing love them.
xx K