Seven
Lance had been out of the ICU for almost a week and in physical therapy for almost two weeks. Dr. Gorma had allowed him to go back to his own room but he was off duty and ordered to be resting when he wasn't with his physical therapist. Allura knew Lance felt even more stir crazy then when he first woke up. Physical therapy seemed to be helping, he'd brightened up the second it was mentioned he was cleared to start working on rebuilding the core muscles that the accident had ripped from him. Allura didn't envy him the task, his stomach had been ripped open, the bruising had faded leaving a lobster pink scar that streaked down his stomach. It looked like it throbbed with pain to her whenever she caught a glimpse of it. She knew it was still healing, that it would fade but it always be there reminding him and the rest of them of how they almost lost them. It made her feel vulnerable, she couldn't begin to wonder how it made Lance feel. He was always confident and never afraid, she didn't think he was afraid of anything. She'd seen him run into fires that made Keith hesitate, fly at top speed into explosions had the rest of the team moving back. She found herself hoping the scar might remind him he wasn't unbreakable, to be more careful. Allura knew it was hopeful wish however, because they'd been attacked twice since Lance woke up. The first time Gorma and his team had had to sedate him and strap him down to the bed to keep him in the ICU. He'd ripped out his stitches trying to get to Red Lion.
Lance had shouted at Keith that he'd do the same thing. Keith had shouted back that it didn't matter what he did, Lance wasn't going to make his recovery take longer. Allura understood but she'd been so angry at him all she could do was cry. He'd ended up hugging her and promising to behave and the second time it happened she'd been with him when the alarms went off. His expression went dark, grim and eyes flashed with impatience and he grabbed her hand before he let he run off to get to her lion. She'd thought he'd say something to her, it looked like he wanted too but instead he just shook his head, dropped her hand and grabbed hold of the bedsheets with a white knuckle grip. "I'm trying to stay put." Is what she heard as she ran out the door. He'd been in the control room when the four of them came in, in a wheel chair with a nurse, Keith took it as progress in his growth as a human. At least that is what Allura had heard him say to Lance. Sometimes she didn't understand how they spoke to each other, but Lance had laughed.
The case was she knew Lance wanted on his feet, so he could get back in the air and make them a full team again. He hated leaving them short, and he hated not being able to fly. She caught him looking out the window watching birds fly. Sometimes she catches him at a window with an expression on his face she can't read, staring up at the sky and she knows he wants to be up there. Allure felt like Lance missed the sky, as if he was piece of it and he needed to be up there flying fast.
As she turned the corner to go to his room like she'd been since he started his PT, she frowned as she saw Harry his physical therapist walk out of Lance's door. Usually they were laughing together, both of them talking so much Allura never could figure out what they talked about. Harry spotted her and shook his head as he slowed to a stop before her.
"Princess, I would tread carefully today. He stopped talking to me halfway through our a session today."
"I don't understand?" Allura said.
"He's impatient. He was in excellent shape before the crash, Princess. Now he's not. He feels like he should be further along in his progress then he is and he's mad it's still as hard as it was last week."
Allura nodded her understanding.
"Good luck. He's in quite a mood, never seen such a one-eighty in my life."
Allura paused at Lance's door before she hit the button to open it. She'd been walking right in, he'd told her too, knowing she'd be coming to see him after his PT. He'd been the one to invite her to visit him afterwards, knowing he'd be bored having to sit and rest and he'd like the company. She wanted to help him through this, and so far it'd been easy. He'd been Lance since opening his eyes, nothing at all like the damage they'd seen that Sven's accident and consequent imprisonment had created. She couldn't imagine Lance so broken but he was grounded, she'd seen him fight against it already to bad results.
She hit the chime on the door instead of walking in and waited. It felt as more than mere seconds went by but the door finally slid open and Lance stood there in front of her. Wearing nothing but a pair of sweatpants, holding a shirt in his hand. "Hey. I forgot you were coming, sorry," he mumbled and turned around, tossing the shirt into a hamper.
Allura stepped into the room, with Lance's back to her her eyes landed on his tattoo. She rolled them and told herself now was not the time. He was upset, she'd never heard him mumble before until this moment. It wasn't like him to forget they had a standing engagement either, she thought. "I saw Harry."
"Did he tell you I'm being stupid and impatient," Lance asked, turning back around to face her.
Allura tried to make eye contact only her eyes dove right to the scar. It looked brighter pink than she remembered from her glimpses of it in his hospital room. Possibly from the exertion and exercise, and it was longer than she had realized. The scar streaked down the whole left side of his abdominals, not stopping she realized until somewhere hidden behind his sweatpants. She felt her cheeks heat up at the thought and forced her eyes up but she couldn't look him in the eye now and she couldn't leave him when he was upset.
"He, he said you were impatient because you were such great shape..."
"Yeah, he gave you the same speech he gave me. He said I need to be patient and it will come. I just... I thought this be easier, I'm only twenty-five here, not like I'm old. I wasn't out of shape in the fucking first place...he says that's my problem. How the fuck is that a problem?"
"I guess it's what makes you impatient," Allura guessed, because she didn't know. "What is..what is it you think you should be able to do?"
"More than a few pounds of weights, and a hell of a lot more than fifteen minutes of cardio without feeling like I'm going to pass out. It's the second week, Allura. I gave myself a pass last week, this week I should have more stamina. Fuck, I'm known for my stamina," he sat down on his bed.
Allura felt her cheeks heat up more at his last statement and she shook her head. She wanted to say something to make him feel better. She'd never seen him sound dejected before, he always when speaking with her had on a happy face and tone. Frowning she thought about all the fighting he and Keith had been doing about Sven, how worried Lance obviously had been. Yet whenever he'd been with her there had been no sign of it. He'd hid it from her, hadn't he? She didn't like that. At least she was seeing his real feelings now, even if she didn't know what to say.
"I don't know what to say," she said into the silence, forcing herself to finally find Lance's eyes.
When their gazes locked she felt pinned in place by the way he was looking at her from his perch on his bed. He looked vulnerable, angry and something else she couldn't read at all. She reached for it with her intuition but either she couldn't grasp it or it couldn't be grasped.
Making a decision she walked over and sat down next to him on the bed. It was still summer and she was wearing a sundress and she sat close her enough her bare arm grazed against his. His skin was hot, she felt it hot against the skin of her arm and slide into her and reach her cheeks and neck. She refused to let down Lance because a part of her wanted to runaway from him when he got to her like this. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked, figuring that was a logical first step.
"No," Lance said. "No, I just want back on the team."
"You aren't off the team," Allura argued with his choice of words. "You're off duty due to medical needs not off the team."
Lance shook his head, then lowered it into his hands, pressing his arm more firmly against hers. She shivered at the touch, his skin was like fire and she started to wonder if he had a temperature. She didn't need a gut feeling to tell not to bring up the concern however because he'd begged Gorma to let him out of the medical wing.
"Um," Allura said instead feeling out of her depth but she couldn't walk away.
"Allura, you don't have to make me feel better, it's not like it's possible."
"I refuse to believe that," Allura countered and she stood up again. She positioned herself right in front of him. His legs were apart enough that she could place herself between them and she put her hands on his shoulders, which forced him to look back up at her. His hands falling onto his thighs. "Lance, come on there has to be something I can do make you feel better. Name it," she said, giving him her brightest most encouraging smile.
"Allura," Lance said as his eyes darkened and his voice had a sudden odd low strangled tone to it.
"Yes?" she asked hoping he'd decided they should take a slow walk, or watch a movie, or something like they usually did after his physical therapy. Act normal, that was a great idea, if he didn't mention something like that she would - why had it taken her so long to think of it?
"Allura," Lance repeated her name, taking hold of her hands and taking them off his shoulders. Get out of here," he barked, dropping her hands abruptly.
"What?" Allura started, not expecting that at all. "But, we could.."
"No, we can't...we... no... out," Lance moved quickly across the room. Allura saw the pain create lines on his face she'd never seen before and she winced in sympathy and followed him to the door.
"But," she said, trying to get out they could watch a movie but he shook his head and gave her a hard look that seemed like anger but why would he be anrgy with her. His actions were starting to hurt her feelings. It was the hurt that made her step outside of his room when he opened the door. Lance gave her one last look and his eyes softened. Allura started to reach out to him., wanting to take his hand and ask him what was wrong but he shook his head.
"Maybe tomorrow we'll hang out again, okay, bye," he said so swiftly the words bleed together and Allura barely understood. She stood there trying to process what had happened for minutes afterward.
"Allura?" Keith's voice started her and she turned toward him, looking up into his warm dark eyes.
"Hi," she smiled because it was always good to see Keith.
"Why you standing outside Lance's door."
"I think, I think he threw me out," Allura said with a frown. "I'm not really sure what happened. He had a bad day in PT."
"Did he hurt himself?" Keith asked, sounding immediately concerned.
"No. Harry told me it was that he's impatient he isn't further along in his progress."
Keith sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Oh. That. Yeah, I was afraid of that."
"You were expecting it to happened?" Allura asked.
"Yeah, it happened to me after Lotor nearly cut me in half. I had to rebuild my core too. I thought since I had had such a great work out before hand, with my Tai Chi and martial arts background PT would be a piece of cake. I was wrong and I was impatient. When I was working out like someone who never worked out before in the second week, I felt like a failure."
Allura shook her head at her Commander. "I think you are always too hard on yourself. You've never failed us, Keith. You never could," she went up on her tiptoes and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Please talk to him, he's very mercurial. One minute we were talking then he threw me out."
Keith frowned his expression growing serious. "Wait, he really threw you out, I thought you were joking because he was so grouchy you left him alone."
Allura shook her head, ending with a concerned glance at the door. "No, no joke."
Keith ran his hand through his hair again and sighed. "I'll check on him."
"I should go work on my Arusian History. I'll see you at dinner, Keith," Allura said and she walked off. Leaving Keith where she had been staring at Lance's door. She hoped Keith could help Lance where she hadn't been able to reach through his bad mood.
~~.~~
Keith opened Lance's door. His jaw dropped open. He tripped rather than walked into the room, and quickly shut the door and behind him. "Lance, what the fuck?"
Lance opened his eyes from where he lay on his bed, naked, sliding his right hand up and down his cock and huffed. "Uh, you walked into my room, Keith."
"Allura was out there, she could've walked back in," Keith yelled.
"You really think I didn't know that part," Lance said his voice breaking on a moan as he twisted his wrist at the tip of his cock.
"You were..." Keith stuttered to a stop, his brain processing the fact that Lance was purposely jerking off knowing Allura could've walked back into his room at any second. "What the fuck were you thinking?"
"I thought enough to get her away from me," Lance yelled back. He sighed and let go of his what Keith his erection. "Are you going to stand there, lecture and watch, leave or help me out?" Lance asked, eyes locked on Keith.
Keith felt strange suddenly. He'd helped Lance out in similar situations about Allura before, Lance had done the same for him because he was human and Allura was beautiful and they were men. They'd done it at the Academy for each other over a million other girls and for Keith he'd run to Lance hard and horny about Sven how many times? This wasn't new, this was the arrangement. Yet Keith felt a sudden dislike for it, a rush of emotion that could only be described as not liking the idea of taking care Lance, when the arousal wasn't about him. Possessiveness rushed as the emotion found the right words, reminding him of the mess he'd made with Sven and he felt anger at himself. He couldn't, shouldn't let himself get possessive of someone else, that wouldn't, couldn't end well.
"Keith?" Lance asked, looking at him with begging, intense and needy eyes. "Mouth on cock now, please, man? I'll really beg for this if you want?"
"Are you even allowed too..."
"I'm I..." Lance trailed off and rolled his eyes. Then he fumbled with his left hand on his night stand until he found a piece of paper, he crunch it into a ball with his hand and tossed it to Keith. "Since you won't believe me if I just say it."
Keith unfolded the paper and saw it was list of things he could and couldn't do from Gorma. He glanced at the don't list. Gorma had written on it by hand in printed but messy scrawl, Lance, it is on the list, but I am stressing this with you. No sexual penetration of the anal or vaginal kind until I clear you for flight status. You can however masturbate and fellatio is allowed.
"I am appalled that Dr. Gorma knows so much about your sexual proclivities."
"Whatever Keith, it isn't going to hurt my health, and it's not going away on it's own," Lance pointed out and he lazily started to stroke himself again. Keith couldn't take his eyes off of Lance's long fingers, wrapped around himself, moving up and down almost nonchalantly, contradicting all his words of how badly he wanted release.
Keith hit the lock on Lance's door because he wasn't risking anyone deciding to walk in them, even if that thought apparently turned on Lance - of course a thought like that turned on Lance - he shook his head as he crawled onto the bed. Climbing over Lance, hovering over him and meeting his eyes. "What the hell happened?" he asked because that is what they asked when we they went to each other about other people. This time though Keith realized he didn't want know, he didn't want to know at all.
"She stood right in front of me, in that fucking tiny dress that is painted on her curves, put her hands on my shoulders and said she'd do whatever I wanted to cheer me up, Keith," Lance bit out. Keith laughed, because he had too it was rather funny when he thought about it. Allura asking her sweet innocent question and Lance making it into a moment out of a pornography. It made him feel better about hearing it, anyway and he reached down and replaced Lance's hand with his own and went in for quick kiss.
He didn't have to kiss Lance, he was only here to get him off, they couldn't do anything past that anyway and Keith wasn't even sure if Lance had had such bad day at PT he should be doing this. Yet he couldn't stop himself from saying yes to Lance, especially right now and his only wish was he'd been the one who'd turned Lance on. Keith thrust his tongue into Lance's mouth, harder and more forcefully than usual Lance responded enthusiastically and it was a hard, fast and messy kiss. Soon enough though Keith felt what he expected, those long, slender fingers in his hair, pushing against his head. Pushing him down, Keith darted out his tongue though, aiming for the scar, wanting to the first person to taste it.
"Shit," Lance gasped.
As Keith licked down the tender new skin forever marring Lance's stomach. In Keith's hand Lance's erection went rigid, and Keith knew Lance was on an edge that he needed to come from, and he moved to get to business. Wrapping his mouth around the head, tasting the familiar tang that was Lance, and he closed his eyes and went to work. Lance pushing down on his head the whole time, knowing Keith liked the pressure, the push and shove of it and giving him what he could this time since it was all Keith was going to get. Lance wasn't selfish in bed Keith had to give him that, it was probably why so many people like him kept going back, even when they knew better, Keith thought wryly.
Seconds before he came, Lance let out with the rest of the Allura story and it was something Keith really wished he could un-hear. "If I wasn't in so much fucking pain, I could've tossed her on the bed and taken her without a fucking thought."
He couldn't respond right away though, because his head was being held in place and his mouth was busy, he glared at Lance though but Lance looked shamed and vulnerable. It hit Keith that he hadn't laid a finger on Allura. He'd only kicked her out of the room, to get away from him before he gave in to the urge. Sitting up once Lance released him Keith stared at him and asked the only question he think of. "What stopped you?"
"Uh, not a rapist for one."
Keith rolled his eyes. "I know that. What I meant is, you could have made a move, Lance. She's not exactly immune to your charms."
Lance shook his head, leaned his head back on his pillow and stared at his ceiling. "She's terrified of them."
"What?"
Lance laughed. "You never could read signals, Keith. She likes me, sure. She thinks I'm hot. Who the hell doesn't? But she's afraid of it. She's not ready for me to make a move. She's too..."
Keith thought of how she'd looked when he'd found her standing outside of Lance's door. Sweet, younger than he'd seen her look since Sven arrived and Blue Lion had been taking away from her, and younger than she had looked since Lance's accident. She was feeling a relief from all the heartache and it was showing. She looked like a young woman of her age should look on a summer day, Keith thought. "Young?" Keith said, thinking about why he tried never to really encourage her crush on him.
"No, that's not it."
"Well it should be," Keith yelled moving off the bed and picking Lance's sweatpants off the floor and tossing them at Lance.
Lance looked at his pants and then at Keith. Shrugging he stood up, moving more stiffly than Keith expected and pulled them back on. "It's not the young part, she's not really all that young, she's too naturally intuitive for that, she sees things. She's going to catch on sooner or later I want to fuck her."
"Lance," he scolded because as used as he was to Lance and his crudeness, there was something about him using it when talking Allura that rankled against Keith's senses. She was different than other people. She was royalty but it was more than that she was the daughter of Arus which meant the Princess of Voltron which was an honor that was greater than they really understood. To know her, to be in charge of protecting her and her planet. Keith wouldn't take it lightly ever.
"Fine, Keith, she's going to know I want to sleep with her and not in the fluffy romance novel way..."
Keith rolled his eyes. "Is that an issue?"
"It's just, I think when she figures it out that... I don't know, man." Lance shook his head.
Keith wasn't sure he understood and he didn't want to think about Lance and Allura and sex anymore. It was unsettling to him in many ways. Allura was above it, and he and Lance...Keith was confused about his strange reaction to a typical moment within their casual sexual arrangement. It was time to change the subject.
"Allura mentioned to me you had bad day at PT."
Lance glared at Keith. "Don't."
"I was only to going to say that..."
"You went through the same fucking thing, I know."
Keith let out an aggravated sigh and wondered how Lance found him so easy to predict. No one else found him easy to predict, everyone else thought he was mysterious, kept his secrets in a deep dark well no one could find unless he shared the map. Not Lance, he waltzed in and drank the water and didn't apologize for the trespassing. At times it was nice to have someone who knew him.
"How did I know? Keith, I remember how you were and I kept telling myself I am not going to go all broody and ragey like you did because it hurts more than I thought. What I didn't expect was for it to be hard. I thought yes, pain, but not you know not able to actually do the easy stuff. What the hell is that?"
Keith gave him a grim nod. "I know."
"Yeah, I know but I'm not...I'll talk when I'm ready, you know that."
Keith nodded. "Okay. You going to come up for dinner?"
"Yeah, I don't want Allura to think I'm mad at her or something."
Keith groaned. "Look about Allura..."
"Keith, I won't touch her, okay?" Lance snapped.
Keith held up his hands. "Okay, okay, I'll see you later..." he started to turn around but Lance grabbed him by the wrist. Keith looked back into intense hazel eyes and felt his body heat up and he was still semi hard from the blowjob.
"I'd fuck you tonight if..."
Keith nodded. "I know."
"I just...don't like leaving you..." Lance gestured with his free hand.
"It's okay," Keith assured him and pulled free wanting to get away from Lance's gaze, it was making him feel strange and dizzy. He wanted to kiss him again, only this time more slowly and taking his time, marking Lance's mouth.
~~.~~
Lance
Allura scares me. It's fair I guess when I think about it because I see the fear in her eyes when her cheeks get red in my presence. She can't hide she's too open of a person, she hasn't learn yet to hide her emotions - she's going to have to learn. I can't see a Crown Princess ruling without learning to hide their emotions from the people they deal with, knowing how to bluff their way through something. She's diplomatic at heart, I think she'll learn but she's young as Keith says and she's never felt these things before. We're the only guys who've ever been really around her... and I scare her when I make her blush, when she finds herself staring at my body. I get scared too...
Not when she stares at my body, not when I catch her out of the corner of my staring at me and unconsciously licking her lips. That I can deal with, handle, it's cute when she blushes it makes her a million times more beautiful and sexy.
No she scares me when she holds my hand when I'm in a coma. When I hear stories that Nanny had to drag her out of my room, kicking and screaming. When I find out if Allura had her way she would have been 24/7 like Keith had been - and not out of guilt or a sense of failure or noble loyalty like Keith but because she cared. Allura cared about me.
She scares me when she takes the time everyday to come and hang out with me to help keep my mind busy so I don't feel so trapped inside the walls of this castle which feels so small to me because I can't go out and fly in my lion. She scares me her tears make me go against everything I am, everything I trained for and say I won't try to fly when there is an attack on the Castle so I will mend...
She scares me when she sits on my bed and searches for a way to cheer me up because she can feel how sad I am - Add all that together with how beautiful she is, how sexy I find her and it's miracle I didn't grab her and kiss her today.
Keith's right though. She's above me. Way above me and that scares me too because she'll figure it out someday and then she'll only have a crush on Keith. The crush that matters, the crush that is worthy of her and it leaves me out in cold.
I almost told Keith this today but he looked... weird. I don't know how to explain it, but I can read him pretty well and I got a sense if I talk to much more about Allura he was going to grab me and either hit me or kiss me again. It was... yeah weird.