The third chapter of this snark is finally here. Frederick will once again appear to snark this chapter.
Chapter 3: Collisions
OMG STOP FLAMIG ME YOU NOT NICE PEOPLE! FUK OOFF! ffs you people suck - if you do noy have anythin god to say, DO NOT SAY IT!11111 (Frederick: You don't rudely tell people to leave you alone.) (I think she's telling us that she doesn't take kindly to flamers.) No 1 wants to b a sinnar so spred LOV for fuks sayk! (Frederick: We're not sinners for not liking your story.) (Besides, everyone's a sinner.) it's better. n-e-way this is the third chapter, and I'm reely getting into it now. Please evry1 leave NICE REVIWS. Also I'm uysing a new devida up the top of da page because FF doesn't like ~ or my luv hearts : ( xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo (Frederick: You know, there's a feature where you can put a divider to divide a chapter.) (Honestly, Erin, I don't know why you neglected to use 's dividers.)
/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/|| (These are ANGLE WINGS :3)
Biologee went on for a while but then it ended. There was another class but Ed wasnt in it so it don't matter and then the day was ovar. (Frederick: Your grades are going to drop if you continue this nonsense.) (It's like she doesn't care about school in general.)
I waited for him after class, and my friend Jenny Donna came up to me. (Frederick: Who names their child, 'Jenny Donna?') (Apparently, her parents were on drugs.) (Erni - ok yeah Blla moved to Forks recently in the bok but in my versin I've bin here a while, like for 2 months but it was summa holidays so thats why I havn't seen the Cullings b4 now but no sum1 OK?1?)
"Hey girl how r u?" I ran up and hugged her tightly. (Frederick: Ugh... Chatspeak.) (Don't get me started on that one.) She smiled happily at me. Jenne was wearing a blu hoodie with a cute pink bunneh on it, and a long pink skirt and she uis also a blone with similar hair to mine, in a long straight doo. She looks like the leed from Evanescence, but with putple makeup and mascara and Christan. (Frederick: Funny. I don't see that Amy Lee looks like this Jenny person.) (Seriously, you're offending every fan of this band, Erin.)
"Hey grl how are you! I haven;t seen you for like a week." She enquieered happily. (Frederick: What a homophobic girl...) (I think she meant 'inquired.')
"Yah hey girl, sorryt. about that. I saw this major hotty in class today, his name is Edwerd Collin. You've been here a lot longe than moi so wut do you know of hymn and hys familiy?" (Frederick: The way she spells 'him' is just as bad.) (And she spelt his last name wrong again.)
"Well their REEEEALY secretive and stuff and unlike any click you May of seen at your old school. They are real broding and misterious, but UBAH hot. I like Emmet a lot." She admited errotically. (Frederick: This proves that the two girls are definitely lusting after Emmet and Edward.) (These girls are good "Christian" girls.)
"Ya he's ok but I like Edward and I think he liks me. He smiled at me but it was almost sif he caldn be with me for sum reeson. So then what do you no then, I'd like to meat him?" I told. (Frederick: I feel sorry for Edward being pelted with meat.) (Yet another common misspelling of 'meet.')
"O well he lives in the mountain I herd. He is also ovah there and ALONE! Go girl, go!" I looked to where she was pointing and then I smelled at her and ron to him. He was leaving bi the main entrance when I had bean silly enough to leave by the side! (Frederick: Joan smelled her?) (I think it's supposed to be spelled 'smiled.')
He looked over to me as if he cold smill cumming for him. He smiled, but then stopped and scowed at me, but I didn't mind because he's actually more sexah when he scrows. (Frederick: I'm imagining some woodland animal that scrows like a wounded animal.) (Edward's a scrow. A cross between a crow and scowl.)
"Hey Edword how are you. You look even sexiah in the sunlight." I said, admiring his pale skin. It was like a Jap Geisha/Goth, except normal at the same time and really relaly hot. (Frederick: Wouldn't he just burn up instead?) (No. He just literally sparkles.)
"NO JOANE DON'T CUM NEAR MI!" He screemd and ran away. I ran after him yelling at him to stop and we went into the car park. (Frederick: I think I knew the difference between come and cum when I was little.) (Oh, Joan, you know you shouldn't do that in front of him. You haven't been dating him yet.)
He leapt up onto a car all althetically and dissapaered into bushes behind the car. I frowned and felt sad. Maybe I had been ron about hymn liking me which was not happi at all. But then I heard a noise, like a bus comming towards me. I looked around and saw...A BIG BUS CUMING AT ME!1111 (Frederick: Does she get flattened? Please, gods, let her be flattened like a pancake.) (Unfortunately, she survives.)
/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/||/||
OH NO THATS NOT GOOD! Well you'll hav to see what happens in the next chapta. thank you for reeding this and the character od Jenny is actually based on my freind Jenny, so LOVE YOU GIRL!1 Anyway thnks again and please leave good reviews. GOD LOVES YOU ALL! :3 (Frederick: I thought God loves everyone, not just hot people.) (I think she's delusional.)
And the hideously written chapter ends here. I'm starting to think this chapter was horrible. Please review and tell me what you think.