Disclaimer for entire story: I do not own Naruto, but the new plot is my own.

New Strength

kkstev

~-~-~-o-~-~-~

She found herself staring at the ceiling once again, unable to sleep. Should your own thoughts really be able to keep you awake? 'Seems a bit counterproductive, to be honest.'

Well, she wasn't going to get anywhere like this.

Sakura needed a good view of the sky, so she peeked out her window. It was late enough in the night where her favorite sights had already moved past the range of vision allowed by the glass. Sakura scrunched her nose, knowing she would have to leave the comfort of her room, but still turned to grab a sweatshirt in order to fight the lingering winter cold of the night outside. She crept as quietly as she could through the silent house, pausing a moment to unlock the back sliding door.

As soon as she stepped outside, she shivered slightly. Taking a deep breath of clean, fresh air, Sakura took the time to adjust to the lower temperature. She had not realized quite how stifling the house had become until she finally left it.

Still standing at the threshold of the door, she paused, just listening to the sounds of the night that waited for her.

At a sudden scratching sound breaking the peace of the night, Sakura jumped violently, heart pounding erratically as she searched out the source of the noise. Not daring to move a muscle, she tried to quiet her body in order to listen for any type of threat in the dark. Hearing it again, she let out the breath she had been holding after seeing Hito's outline behind the ricepaper door. Sakura opened the door once again, allowing Hito to join her outside. She patted his head as he came out, and she watched for a moment with a smile as he surveyed his yard for any signs of intruders.

Remembering the reason she left the comfort of her bed in the first place, Sakura sighed, figuring there was no more avoiding her thoughts.

Still taking her time to milk the last bit of procrastination possible, she followed Hito out into the yard, her gaze focused upwards. Each step was slow and deliberate, at times balancing on the tips of her toes, until she reached the small deck. Sakura sat down, then laid softly on her back, peering up at the sky.

Stars in formations she was thoroughly familiar with, but never properly named, twinkled back at her. She eyed each of them in turn, and strained her sight to try to see even the dimmest lights within the groups. Giving up, she finally let her gaze wander to the almost-full moon, lingering there in the stars peacefully.

She felt her breathing begin to slow, relaxing her body and lulling it by the comforting sight. She realized that she had also been touching the necklace that remained around her neck, and smiled slightly. Even though it had been hours since the initial shock of receiving the gift, it was still amazing for her.

But this was part of the issue. Three simple words had been tossed around a lot tonight. 'I love you.' It was so easy to say, especially caught up in the moment as she was, but also so completely complicated and frustrating and just, well… 'Confusing. It's just a concept that doesn't make sense. But is this just for me, or for everyone? Or am I just the only one who needs to complicate these types of things?'

"Ugh," Sakura groaned aloud, and rubbed at her eyes with the palms of her hands. Taking a deep breath, she began sorting through what she should know. Love was for your family, always. Did that mean it was so innate that it didn't feel like anything? That it was so deep that it was just there? But then why is love such a coveted emotion if it was so easy?

None of it really made sense, but she needed it to. Because it was worrying… there had to be something wrong with her, to be able to so easily doubt the regular ties she should have to her family. Regardless of anything that may happen with them, family is still supposed to be unbreakable.

'Maybe you do actually feel that love, but it is just not something you're aware of? When you speak the words, there is definitely a spark of feeling, right?'

But she knew it was a lie. There is no way she could lie so blatantly to herself, when she is basically incapable of lying successfully to others. The term 'love' in itself makes her uncomfortable, and so she rarely speaks it aloud. But when she has to, when social cues make anything but that singular, dreaded response highly inappropriate, she ends up thinking on it – anywhere from a few minutes to many hours, like tonight. But still, there's nothing.

Besides an important part of herself she is robbing from her family, she worried about her life to come as well. What kind of person can't love? 'It makes the increasingly small number of friends you have make sense. Not that you have to love them, but there should at least be a type of caring there. Indifference to their presence, or lack thereof, is just so not normal.'

No wonder no one wants to be in her company. She understood, really, why people don't like her...

Sakura stopped her train of thought, at least for the moment. She cannot deal with this, not just yet. At the moment it may be too much to confront. She believed herself strong, but not yet strong enough for this - so it could wait. So instead she cleared her mind, and just watched the clouds that caressed the moon. The amount of light it exuded was simply amazing, and the world around her was basked in a glow. It was so bright that her eyes had needed to adjust to the illumination of the night after stepping from the pitch black house.

But soon she began to struggle once again with her thoughts trying to creep in on her, and almost began to panic. She gripped her head with both hands, as though they could act as physical barriers to what she knew was coming. 'Not now, please, I just can't! I refuse, for once, to see this truth! Not yet, please! Please, please, please just stop!'

As her heart rate began to rise, tears pricking at her eyes, a familiar warmth settled itself underneath her raised arm. Sakura couldn't help but begin laughing – a chocked, anxious sound – and hug her unusually perceptive companion.

Hito laid his head across her stomach and let out a deep sigh. Sakura lifted his head level with her smaller one, cradling it in both hands, and looked directly into his intelligent eyes. With a gentle kiss lain on his forehead, just above his eyes, she whispered faintly, "Arigatou. I love you so much, Hito."

She felt it when she said it, really felt it, and still felt a warmth for him as he snuggled in closer to her side.

It gave her hope.

~-~-~-o-~-~-~

"I love you, man!"

Naruto yelled loud enough for everyone on the busy street to hear. As people began to stare that the spectacle, Sasuke did everything he could to keep the red tint off his cheeks, trying to get his dobe of a best friend off of him.

With a violent shove, he hissed "What the hell? Keep your damn raman hands off of me!" Sasuke brushed off his high-collared shirt as though it would remove any evidence of the hug, then began walking down the street once again with his hands securely in his pockets.

Once he calmed enough to realize that Naruto never began moving again, he stopped and looked back impatiently. At the look on his friend's face, Sasuke rolled his eyes and huffed, signaling for the blonde to catch up. After an unusual level of quiet for many minutes, Sasuke felt bad for being so harsh, offering, "I don't particularly feel the need to fuel Ino's little 'practical joke' rumor any further," as explanation.

Naruto immediately became beet red, looking to Sasuke's face, shivering to himself, and agreeing whole-heartedly. "Seriously, where does she even come up with this stuff?"

Walking a few more paces in silence, Sasuke and Naruto made eye contact, immediately followed by another shiver at their shared repulsion.

"Anyway," Naruto continued as though nothing transpired, "it's sooo cool that you're coming! I didn't wantcha to think I got tired of your sulky ass and left ya all by yourself!"

Sasuke groaned, covering his face with his hands, growling out each word, "Dobe, think about the words that come out of your obnoxious mouth before you say them every once in a while."

Naruto took a moment to repeat his words in his head, and began reddening once again. He scratched the back of his head, then smiled, "Yeah," he replied, dragging out the word, "probably should watch that for a while."

Over the initial embarrassment, the friends couldn't help but laugh together at the ridiculously absurd situation. But as soon as they passed through the gates of the Uchiha district, Sasuke's demeanor became completely subdued, and even Naruto quieted somewhat.

But the shift in their behavior was convenient, as the conversation they had been having before the awkwardness was important. "So anyway, this mission is, ah, interesting."

"Yeah, it's gonna to be fun, and I'm glad you're coming! But do you know why we're doin' this? I mean it's great and all, but there's just no way lookin' good for the civilians in Fire Country is the only reason for all this effort. Can't help but think of Kakashi-sensei –"

"Look underneath the underneath." Sasuke murmured, completing Naruto's thought. The blonde simply nodded, both thinking about the situation. The secrecy about everything is what was the most unnerving. And Naruto couldn't help thinking about the weird and obviously incomplete conversation in Neji's office, which he shared with his raven-haired companion.

After hearing all of this, Sasuke couldn't help thinking about his father's reaction as well. Not that it was drastic in any way, but he understood his father's subtle mood shifts. Once he got the request from the Hokage for ten Uchiha officers for an indefinite length mission outside the village, Fugaku had been furious.

At the time, Sasuke had been unaware as to the reason for his father's rage – that was, until he was one of the officers chosen. Then he was briefed on what was expected of him, but not why. And he was thinking that the elusive 'why' is what infuriated his father.

But they had nothing to go on. It was like they had this complicated puzzle laid out incomplete before them, where they had small sections completed. Just small chunks of seemingly random information. But the pieces that connect these sections were missing, preventing them from being able to see the whole picture.

It was frustrating as hell.

So they vented some of their aggravation at the situation to each other, but also some of their excitement. However Sasuke tried to contain it, he was eager to have a chance to get out of the village with Naruto and some of his friends for a while. He loved the police force, but he also missed the excitement of the regular active duty ninja. Even though the mission was not really the average S-rank, there was definitely promise.

Arriving at the main house in the district, both boys stepped in and slipped off their shoes at the door. They made their way through the house and toward the kitchen, as per usual. It was still the middle of the day, and so they found that neither of Sasuke's parents were around.

"Okaa-san is at the market and Otou-san is still at the precinct."

Both teenagers jumped at the voice, immediately falling into defensive positions. They only relaxed once they heard another voice ring out in laughter. Naruto joined almost immediately, while Sasuke scowled at the new voice for a moment before laughing along as well.

Itachi looked at his little brother and smiled slightly before he noticed, then nodded in greeting to Naruto. He then turned his attention back to the paperwork laid out on the table in front of him.

Finally coming down from his laughing high, Shisui wiped one of his eyes, "Geez, you two are like scared rabbits! What, did you forget you were ninja and that neither of us are concealing our chakra signatures?"

As Itachi just shook his head slightly, Naruto pouted and jumped on the defensive, "No! We were talkin' about a super top-secret mission that's ridiculously cool and awesome and we were too busy paying attention to that that we couldn't spare any to pay attention to you." Looking proud of himself for getting the whole sentence out in one breath, his face quickly morphed into one of slight worry as he looked to Itachi. The boy faced him, slapping him on the shoulder. If he had not seen Naruto's intention, Itachi would not have had time to prepare himself not to act. "Now you, Itachi my man, are always worth my attention!"

Shisui burst out laughing once again, as Sasuke again tried and failed to contain himself. Even Itachi smirked, looking at Naruto's thoroughly confused face. Unable to resist, he prolonged the boy's suffering, "Well, Naruto-kun, though I am grateful for your kind words, I apologize for being unable to return the sentiments. Though I do encourage and support all of your life decisions, and wish you only the best on any future endeavors."

His relatives burst out in a new wave hilarity, and Itachi's smirk evolved to a small smile. Naruto was still just staring at Itachi as though he had grown a head out of a rather uncomfortable place. The look just continued to make Sasuke and Shisui laugh uncontrollably.

After a while Sasuke took pity on his best friend, and in between deep breaths to calm himself, he managed to get Naruto up to speed. "Hey dobe… you remember… like ten minutes ago… when we… were talking… about what… Ino 's been… saying?"

Naruto immediately paled and took his hand off Itachi's shoulder, shaking it as though burned. He began jumping backwards and muttering incoherently. The most that was distinguishable was an endless string of, "Ew, ew, ew," interspersed with a periodic, "Kuso," and, "Oh Kami-sama help me, it's just not true!"

His response was just even more fuel to the fire that was spurring on the Uchiha cousins. Eventually, though, they eased out of their hilarity, Shisui gasping for air, wiping both of his eyes once again.

"Aw man, you guys sure are fun after spending most of the day with mister stick-up-his-ass-turned-sideways-lit-on-"

"Shisui."

"What, cuz? You know it's all outta love," with a pointed look in Naruto's direction, he draped his arm over Itachi's shoulders with a smile and a waggling of his eyebrows, "you know, that kinda love." Sasuke sniggered and Naruto simply crossed his arms and turned up his nose, refusing to react and giving them a reason to laugh again.

"Well, you two arrived at an opportune time. We have been discussing the details of the… what had it been, Naruto-kun? 'Super top-secret' mission, I believe it was."

Arms still crossed, Naruto turned toward Itachi with his mouth hanging open. Realizing that his superior did not plan to elaborate, he sputtered out, "B-b-but how'd you know?"

Dragging his eyes from the papers in front of him, Itachi simply raised an eyebrow. Naruto forgot his surprise rather quickly, looking at Itachi seriously and explaining, "I've been around this family enough to be able to get a buinch of your too-cool-to-speak-Uchiha-language, but Itachi, I gotta tall ya man, you are not an Uchiha that I understand."

There were a few more moments of silence where all of the boys simply waited to see what would happen next. Everyone held their breath as they watched Itachi just continue to stare at Naruto.

But in the end, it was Naruto, and he didn't know what chord he just struck. So Itachi simply explained, "Naruto-kun, who is it that you believe is the initial designer of this operation?"

Silence.

"Really?" Naruto yelled, becoming excited again, "So that means you can tell us what the real deal is, and why we're going, and where, and how long, and –"

"Naruto-kun, otouto, I will tell you everything, but I do hope," he looked at Naruto, "that Nara-san and," turning to Sasuke, "Otou-san explained the significance of complete discretion to those not directly involved."

Sasuke, Naruto, and even Shisui settled down comfortably around the kitchen table, prepared for whatever might be thrown at them.

~-~-~-o-~-~-~

The days began to pass somewhat normally again, and Sakura did her best to keep herself busy. She found that she was working more hours, wandering more often into the forests, and even just exploring further than she ever had from Sengaku. She even went to school the days it was bearable (Shii's retribution was focused on making her life more miserable there), but still managed to keep her marks as high as they always have been.

Less time to really think about the disturbing can of worms she inadvertently opened.

But it was satisfying to know she was moving forward a bit, that she was able to support herself for when the time truly came. And as summer vacation was slowly creeping closer, she became more confident in her ability to save money and plan her future. Even time to act on it.

To show that she truly does have a devotion to medicine, she hoped to find some place to work over the extended break that would directly relate to her field. That way, when she seeks out doctors later on, they will see she has some working understanding beyond just the textbooks she has come across.

But there was still some time before all of that, it was still only May.

For now, she just wanted to get to bed. It had been a long night, as her boss had been teaching her some of the basics of how to tend bar, using the excuse that he was 'getting too old.' Each time he said it, Sakura laughed it off, playing along, yet knowing the real reason he was pushing her – because he knew she could make more money that way.

According to him, What kinda idiot drunkard wouldn't wanna toss away alla his cash to a purdy lil' thing givin' him his alcohol? Sakura figured he did have a point, where with drunk vision, she may be morphed into something more desirable. Plus, she would be supplying the precious nectar of intoxication. Overall, more tips.

She knew it was a kind of twisted way to think, but it was still honest work in the end. There was the opportunity to hone in her apparently failing people skills, and get to move around while she worked. But to be perfectly frank, more important than anything else, she did very much need the money.

Resigned to keep her thoughts along those safe lines, she trudged up the stairs intending to make an escape directly into her room. Without much surprise though, she heard arguing in the kitchen. Taking a deep breath, she found herself sneaking back down to settle in the living room. She knew the perfect spot to hear, but not be seen.

It's not like she wanted to torture herself with listening to her parents' petty arguments, but there have been times where useful information could be picked out of the chaos. Though allowing her to live like an adult, her parents treated her as a child, and felt no need to inform her of things that would no doubt affect her. So she needed to keep a few steps ahead by any means available.

If she hadn't heard the argument a few weeks ago, the house might have been taken to repay some of her family's debt. She was lucky she had enough saved to take care of it before her parents screwed things up even more.

But the fight tonight was different. She heard her own name being thrown around quite a bit.

'Well, this just can't be good.'

She found herself listening more carefully, trying to first figure out why they were talking about her, and then why it could be cause for conflict.

'Now this is irony if I've ever seen it, they're talking about my future too. Seriously though, why?' But it soon became apparent. No matter how many false smiles and fake encouragement they toss her way – only when sober in her father's case, of course – they truly didn't think she could succeed. But the way she heard their words, it was not like they were unsure, no, definitely not unsure. They spoke as though they knew she would fail, and were fighting about ways to combat her imminent fall.

She felt as though someone punched her straight to the gut, as all the breath she had in her body left her.

How could they?

It was worse that they were talking behind her back about this, too. But not because of what most would think, the conspiratory thoughts that most worried about in others. From where Sakura was sitting, the fact that none of these truly, truly painful beliefs were spoken to her face meant that they had more confidence in them. These were their true thoughts laid out for Sakura to suffer through. Why would someone willingly crush another's dreams, even if they believed them doomed to fail? No, they would smile and nod to the poor idiot's face, then talk about the reality behind their back.

She thought she might hyperventilate. The shallow breathing she was doing was barely getting the necessary oxygen she needed to her body, and the most she could do was try to calm her thoughts rather than her body. If one relaxed, the other would follow.

Sakura knew – she knew – but it still hurt so much to hear the truth from her parents' mouths. No one believed she was good enough, except maybe her aunt, though even that she began to doubt at this point.

Knowing there was no useful information to gather here, Sakura tried to make it back upstairs before she finally snapped. She couldn't, not here. It would be proving their arguments on the side of her weakness.

Finding herself upstairs, alone, Sakura completely broke down. She cried her eyes out into her pillow, covering her head with the sheets and curling in on herself around a second pillow. All of the noise she made was deeply muffled and barely audible.

When she became irritated with the wet spot on her pillow clinging uncomfortably to her cheek, Sakura found herself coming back to herself. The simple thought about the inconvenience of her tears had made her realize what she was doing was pointless. She knew what she had to do, and what she could do, for quite a long time. And putting this behind her was just another one of those things.

It just gave her more of a reason to prove herself, to prove them wrong.

~-~-~-o-~-~-~

The plans were almost complete. He loved his village to his very core, and desired nothing more than to protect it, but at the same time he felt somewhat uncomfortable with this entire mission. His Hokage told him that the village was in need of more skilled defenders. The thought was valid and, from what he could see himself, quite apparent.

But he had dedicated his life to the Leaf and it's inhabitants. More so than many could ever even hope to imagine. He was born here, this was his home, where his family was, his life was.

Was it right to ask another to give themselves so wholly to a home that is not their own?

He supposed that there was no harm in offering, and letting those who stepped forward decide their fate for themselves. But still, he didn't think civilians could really comprehend what being a shinobi truly meant. He knew the life he was moving towards from an early age, and still never fully approved of some of the shinobi ways, but he also knew it was his duty to use the strength he was given so much of to protect those precious to him.

But it did not really even matter what he thought.

Itachi looked into the flickering flame on top of his desk, allowing himself a moment to think over all that he had done. There was no mistaking it – they were ready. The plans he worked so diligently on were completed, and were going to be put to action as the mission commenced as designed.

His conscience bit back at him somewhat, but it was easily suppressed. He was a shinobi after all – many of the things he did in the line of duty did not sit particularly well with his conscience.

He blew out the candle, immersing the room in darkness. Familiarity with his surroundings allowed him to effortlessly find his bed, rolling to his back with his arms propping his head upwards. Unable to sleep, Itachi continually tried to tell himself his conscience really was overruled by his mind.

~-~-~-o-~-~-~

She didn't want to cry anymore.

So she decided she wouldn't cry.

She found herself coping with things in different ways in order to push back the useless leaking from her eyes. There was a lot of staring at the moon. It was just such a comfort, always there. Even on a cloudy night, the location of the moon could be made out by the faint glow behind the cloud cover. On a new moon, Sakura was fascinated as well. The outline of the heavenly rock could be discerned, and it was like a new beginning.

And it happened multiple times a year. Like it was possible to start fresh whenever you wanted. Like Sakura tried quite a bit over the passing months.

She knew she was simply waiting for the hourglass to run out on her time in school, in Sengaku, so she could do what she really wanted with her life, but that didn't make the wait any better. She always tried to tell herself that it was only a few years, only a year and a half, only a year, only, only, only… but that didn't make it any easier. Now was now, and now was not some indiscriminant time from now.

It was hard, but it was reality.

So Sakura searched for things to keep herself on track during the time she was waiting to finish. The necklace given to her, no matter the new information gleaned from the bearers since it's presentation, was precious to her. It signified hope, hope that she had a family that truly cared about her.

Just that maybe they had a fucked up way of showing it. But that was all fine, as long as she had that tiny spark that it might be better.

The thought of the necklace and its significance pushed the teenager to have a newfound interest in physical manifestations to remind her of what is important about her life.

Something she could see each and every day, and have a secret that gave her strength that no one outside of herself understood.

The most noticed, and least understood, of these reminders was the appearance one day of black streaks in her otherwise natural pink hair. Many did not, in fact, notice at all – or if they did, they did not show it. Those that did acknowledge the change merely scoffed, whispering behind conspicuous hands that she was simply, finally, trying to fit in with the rest of the school. That she was trying to be something she wasn't, and it was apparent, and ugly, and pathetic, and...

And Sakura laughed.

If anyone ever bothered to actually ask why, she would simply say because she wanted to.

She was just playing with her hair, right? Showing her uniqueness and whatever else may go through a teenager's mind.

But it really was so much more.

How could anyone understand that the hour or so she spent with a confusing box of hair dye and aluminum foil was to remind her of who she was? Bring her back to herself if she found herself going astray? The black, pure black, mixed in with cotton candy pink demonstrated that beneath whatever type of exterior she had, she had layers. The contrast to what people saw from the outside, the miniscule part of her appearance she could control to fit herself. The black was the confusion, the darkness, the fear, the depression, the times where she lost hope. What she hid.

Which meant it was also her future. The darkness mixed into her life was what made her strong, and for that she must be grateful. What she tells herself when she needs to hear it. She cannot afford to forget; otherwise she is afraid she really will be consumed by the darkness that fights to push itself to the forefront every day.

And really, who would bother to save her then?

~-~-~-o-~-~-~

You may not know:

otouto : younger brother

A/N : Hey guys! Just wanted to make a quick note here for everyone, asking a favor from you that I hoped I would never have to do, but... Please review! I work so, so hard on all of these chapters, as writing is such a struggle for me. I edit it myself time and time again to try to get it as perfect as I can for you all.

Then when I post it, I get hundreds of hits, and people favorite and follow, and it's exciting! But almost no one reviews, and I want to see what you all really think. I would really appreciate it so much it I could get feedback on anything you want to tell me about the story, or my writing, or whatever you want!

Thanks so much again, everyone, and I look forward to hearing from you soon!

~ kkstev ~