Sherlock's

Sherlock had no idea what he'd done, but he felt awful. He felt…awful. Why did he feel awful? He's made people upset with his questions and deductions before and didn't feel a thing. But now… now was different. He'd upset John, not that he hadn't before, but this was different from all those other times. He had upset John, and he was feeling…guilty? Why guilty? All he did was ask what he couldn't understand and John was usually good about that. Wait. He thought. I'm missing something. But what? What haven't I seen? When I left John was a wreck. He said he cared. When I left I was a wreck without John. That must mean I care. Well of course I care about John. He said in his head. I can't live without him. I need him. I love him. Wait. Wh...What? Did I just say I love him? Granted it was in my head but I thought it. Sherlock paused his train of thought while he replayed it. He really did say he loves him. But how is it surely love? He had never been in love aside from that incident but that mustn't have been true love because what he felt for John was much stronger. It was as if john completed him. But that was just the talk of the hopeless romantic… wasn't it?

John's

What am I going to do? I can't tell him…can I? No. he said we were friends. Just friends. And if I go and say I love him what will that do to him. To us. I can't lose him. Not again. But I can't not tell him. Oh hell, why can't I just man up and tell him. I was a soldier and faced things more risky. Or have I? That's it. I'm going to tell him I love him and see how he reacts. If he reacts badly I will soldier on, and if he loves me to…

When John finished his mental pep talk he composed himself and came into the living room. Sherlock lay on the couch with the expression of deep in thought.

"Sherlock" John said sternly trying not to let himself collapse.

"Yes John?" Sherlock answered, he was still wondering if he should tell John about his recent discovery when John said, "Sherlock listen to me and don't interrupt until I'm done."

Sherlock answered with a nod as John took a deep breath and continued.

"Sherlock. I am not mad at you. I am mad that the fact that I didn't say this sooner. There is something I haven't told you. The reason I care so much is because I love you Sherlock. From the bottom of my heart I love you. And if you don't love me too that's ok. All I want to know is how you feel."

Sherlock sat there blinking. Could this really be happening? Is this real or is this all just a taunting dream?

He must have been in thought for a longer time than he thought because he came back to reality when John said," Sherlock, please I'm begging you. No answer is the worst answer of all. Please just tell me. Say something. Anyth-"The next thing John knew Sherlock was kissing him. Sherlock, his rigid friend was kissing him. It took him a second to process that and he soon started kissing back. Lips moving as an orchestrated symphony, as if it was the most natural and perfect movement on earth. When they broke apart John stood stock still unsure of what just happened and of what to do next.

"Sherlock…what was that?"

"Why, that was a kiss John. You of all people should know that."

"But… you... um…" "But what John, you asked for an answer so there it is. I could have gone the ordinary route but being ordinary is such a bore."

When Sherlock lacked a response from John he sighed.

"Oh John. I kissed you. I love you John. And I realize that now. It's why I can't stay away, why I care about your well being. It's why I faked my own death."

"You…you did that for me? How was that for me?" John said in a mix of confusion and outrage that Sherlock would leave him for the best.

"Moriarty. He threatened you. And I couldn't bear to lose you. The only way to save you was to die. He had shooters. On you and Mrs. Hudson and Lestrade. I did think I could use him to stop the shooters, but he shot himself. The only way to stop the shooters was to jump."

John stood stunned to hear this. He had jumped to save him.

"Sherlock…"

"John. What's happened is in the past now. Now we have each other. Can we focus on that?"

And with a smile creeping onto his face John said, "Yes Sherlock, of course, yes. But your starting to sound very rational, isn't that my job?"