My Metaphorical and literal rollercoaster life
Written by Ghostsammeo
Disclaimer: I do not own anything to do with Naruto (Or Universal Studios on that matter) and make no money from this story.
A/N I would like to thank Gerkyhen and her amazing romantic comedy Guyface, which has really helped me write this fanfiction, please check it out; if you liked this you'll love it!
Summary: 'The Jurassic Park ride isn't the most romantic place to fall in love, but at least it will make a funny story' – Sasuke's life turns into some romantic comedy fanfiction when he gets a job at Universal Studios.
"This is a big rollercoaster... so yeah,"
I've never been good at tours, just ask anybody who has had me on the Jurassic Park ride... Oh there's two right here.
I'm giving a tour to the new employees here at Universal Studios, though I'm still basically new myself, I've been working here a week.
There are a whole lot of them, most of them aren't even listening anyway, notably for me pink-haired girl isn't listening. I've told them all my name when we started the tour but I don't know any of theirs which makes it really hard to get their attention.
"Heyheyhey guys and girls,"
I turn around and find my little tour group have moved off me and onto the guy with the dog approaching.
"Kiba!"
I place myself outside the circle and watch everyone chatting to this 'Kiba'. Oh I hear my name mentioned, who said it? Pink-hair?
"Yeah it's pretty cool being security guard, my boss is a pretty cool guy," Kiba is saying then notices me, "Is this your boss?"
"Yes," I lie. I'm not technically, I've just been here longer; but I hey, I like being superior.
"Hey," Kiba nods my way and is about to continue when he is suddenly interrupted.
"He's not our boss,"
Pink hair has kindly pointed out my lie. Damn you pink hair, I don't love you anymore... well okay I do.
"He's just worked here longer so he's showing us the ropes, she goes on,"
"Sakura you nerd," Kiba laughs, "Anyway I gotta get going, the park ain't even open yet but I've been told to find this blonde intruder strolling around like he works here,"
I've zoned out as Kiba chats a bit longer then finally leaves. Her name is Sakura. Sakura. Sakura. As much as I'd like to pretend I'm that in love with her name (I am, it's nice) Naruto being caught by Kiba and his dog is niggling in the back of my mind... doesn't matter, it'll teach him if he gets bit by a dog.
"Sasuke," comes a sing-song voice, it's Sakura's blonde friend.
"Yes?" I answer, half-asleep.
"Well aren't you going to show us the ropes?"
With a blink and a shake of my head I switch back on my cold exterior and nod.
I lead them around for another five minutes before we bump into Pein who takes them off my hands.
I saunter off towards the Jurassic park area, glancing back as Pein is instructing them on what to do... I hope they give me good reviews.
The day drags on tiresomely. I'm sharing shifts with Kakuzu on the boat... sadly even he's better at giving tours. The only person I could guess who would be worse at me at my own job would be Gaara, the red-head with the tired eyes.
I learnt the name of Gaara through the mass gossip passing through the park via staff. It's the newbie's. They've brought drama to work, and I don't like it (Yes I know I've been bored of work recently but I'm hard to impress!)
Along with the name of Gaara I learnt the names of all the others from Neji Hyuga to all-round fatty-boom-bastic Choji Akimichi. (Who I am only aloud to think is fat inside my head apparently or he'll punch me- just ask Deidara, gossip sources say it took all his house-mates to hold him from attacking back.)
I also hear in lesser news that Naruto has been caught by that fella Kiba, I hope he didn't fight back, that dog looks nasty.
The next day continues like normal; Naruto appears out of nowhere and shocks me, me Suigetsu and Jugo are harassed by Karin and I suck continuously at giving tours on the Jurassic Park ride (Suigetsu moved off stall work now too, the lucky bastard got to monitor some massive green coaster!)
At about eleven AM, as I step off the boat and let Kakuzu take charge, I spy Pein approaching over the horizon with Ino by his side.
"Sasuke," he says as he comes up to me, "How's things going?"
"Oh things are looking good here at Jurassic Park," I fake smile.
"Still giving those super tours," Ino smiles. She hides sarcasm well, Pein doesn't even notice, in-fact he even seems impressed.
"Yeah," I stretch like it's nothing, might as well go along with it now my boss is here, "I try,"
"Well then... I thought you didn't like touring so I'm sorry I have to take you off work for a bit to do a favour for me," Pein explains.
This is a good thing surprisingly. I've been looking to get to know Ino a little bit better, it seems she's Sakura's best friend and though I have no game-plan I know I've got to meet Sakura before we get married... well obviously but...
"Which is sir?" I ask.
"Well I'm afraid Tobi has gone and lost his wallet... In one of the bins in the park," He says, "Don't ask me how I have no clue with that guy,"
What? He's taken me off work to rummage through bins? Seriously I am not getting this, "Why me?"
"Well because I was under the impression you weren't enjoying your job as a tour guide," Oh did I ask why me aloud? "... I thought this would give you a break,"
Oh so he's trying to be nice by letting me have a break, and I suppose he just happened to meet Ino on the way here... well it's the thought that counts.
"Oh thanks," I mumble.
"Don't mention it, he says he think he lost it near Dr. Seuss land, start there,"
Soon enough me and Ino are off walking through the crowds of tourists and park visitors. I can feel her eyes on me so I don't dare slip a glance.
"So Sasuke," Ino suddenly says, I look at her in the corner of my eye; her soft blue ones look straight back.
"Hn?" I grunt.
"I haven't spoken to you yet," she goes on.
"That's because this is only your second day," I mumble as I give a glance into a bin.
"I know, so I'd like to get to know you is all," She smiles, "You are my age aren't you?"
"Yeah,"
"Well," She stops and grasps my hand to shake, "I'm Ino Yamanaka,"
"Sasuke Uchiha,"
"Uchiha?" She rubs her chin, "Oh are you Itachi's brother, I was with him helping make sure all my friends were settling in," She pauses and studies me a little longer, "You look a lot like him,"
Okay I realise Ino is a nice person and I know I need to get close to Sakura somehow, I guess Ino is the first step; I'll be nice to her.
"Thank you," I nod and squeeze out a smile.
"You don't talk much do you Sasuke?" She grins as we walk again.
"Not really," I suppose as I get an earful of screams from the rollercoaster I'm near riding past.
"So that's your act is it?"
"What?" What act, what's she on about.
"You know the quiet cool act... it's what me and Sakura thought you'd be like that day when we were on the Jurassic Park ride; then you started the tour," She cracks up at the end and bursts into laughter leaving me to glare at the side of her head.
"Then you just fell down after mumbling stuff and stared at us," She laughs, well at least she doesn't know I was actually looking at Sakura. "At Sakura," She adds. Crap.
We walk a little, after that embarrassing moment I'm fed up with being nice to her; I only got to say two things as well!
"Do you like Sakura, Sasuke?" She asks later when I'm rummaging through the bin in Dr. Seuss land.
"I haven't met her," I growl back, I'm only growling because I've got my head and shoulder stuck in the bin and it's embarrassing.
"Hmm, you'd look cute together," She says to herself as I pull myself out the bin, litter falling out over me. She has an amused smile as she continues, "That's what she said as well you know, 'I haven't met him',"
By the way if you're wondering, yes I am very excited to hear Ino thinks me and Sakura would look good together.
"No-one's fancies her at the minute," Ino says as we move on.
"You don't say," I sigh, faking that I'm faking interest... that was hard to say, basically I am interested but I'm pretending not to be.
"She's a bit upset, especially since I've got quite a lot of admirers, like Sai and Choji... but you know,"
"He's fat," I finish off for her.
She gasps, "No! He's not fat... he doesn't like that,"
"I heard,"
"Anyway it's a big 'he fancies her and she likes him' business with my friends... there's some set couples though which we've all agreed, like Shika and Temari,"
"I thought you liked Shikamaru," I say. I'm pretty sure I see them together often.
"Shikamaru's my best friend, he's hot yeah but... no, just no, we wouldn't work," she suddenly smiles, "You and Sakura however..."
I quickly turn away as I slip a smile. Eventually both of us give up and go our different ways. (I hear later Naruto found Tobi's wallet anyway and used the money inside to play on the stalls everywhere, I guess he must know a lot of staff by now)
Through the next couple of days I've got to know quite a lot of newbie's. Me and Ino are on speaking level, I'm sure she would even consider me a friend. I've met Kiba a few times, generally discussing my best friend and his arch-nemesis Naruto. Temari and Shikamaru are pretty cool; it's only the really quiet people who are hard to get to know. Gaara and Shino are always sitting about quietly and that girl Hinata I swear is like a fucking ninja. Seriously does she have some metal gear solid stealth camouflage or something because I keep spotting her in the corner of my eye when I'm hanging about with Naruto then when I turn she's gone! Sadly I am also yet to know Sakura; I'm still waiting for my chance to speak to her.
On Thursday I am sitting around on a bench with Naruto, Itachi and Deidara, Deidara telling in explicit detail his day at the art festival, apparently he made a sculpture then got laid; back of the net for him then... Anyway as we listen I suddenly spot the rarely seen, nearly extinct Hinata Hyuga prowling in the shrubbery.
"Hey," I whisper, eyes still on her, "Hey guys,"
They all look at me.
"Look in the shrubs, can you see that girl?"
"Who?" Naruto squints then grins, "Oh yeah that's Hinata, she works in the stall you used to work in Sasuke... HEY HINATA!" he waves.
We all hear a squeak then a blur and Hinata's gone.
"Weird hmm," Deidara states.
"Why is she always hiding around in the shadows?" I ask as Naruto steals a chip from Orochimaru who is walking past nodding at us.
"I dunno," Naruto shrugs as he munches, "She's like that at her stall, when I come to play she passes me the balls then ducks under the counter... I haven't got that bad aim,"
"Even weirder," Deidara states again.
"It's obvious isn't it Naruto?" Itachi suddenly pipes up, smiling slightly.
"Is it?" Naruto questions.
"Yes," Itachi nods, "Hinata Hyuga is obviously a shy young woman, perhaps she has a crush,"
"On who? Sasuke?" Naruto looks at me.
"No," Itachi sighs.
"Deidara?" Naruto looks at Deidara.
"Do you reckon hmm?" Deidara smirks.
"No!" Itachi turns to Deidara.
"Then who, you?" Naruto asks Itachi.
"You!" I hiss at him. What an idiot.
"Ohhhhhhhh," Naruto pauses, "Cool,"
It's all making sense what Ino said a few days ago now. Her friendship group really is one big drama. Choji and Sai like Ino, Temari and Shikamaru have something going on, Tenten likes Neji, Hinata like Naruto and I like Sakura. Somehow me and Naruto have got involved in it all now, and there's nothing we can do about it.
Later on as I walk and have a talk with Suigetsu, Jugo and Karin (Though Karin is not walking or talking she's instead basically grinding up against me... Ew)
"So Sasuke, Ino eh?" Suigetsu says to me with a raised eyebrow.
"What?" I shrug.
"Well, you talk to her a lot don't you?"
"I don't like Ino in that way if that's what you're saying," I explain which actually lessons Karin's grip on me.
Suigetsu nods and says quickly, "Good cuz dude she's hot,"
I smile slightly then pause, "I'm just gonna go to the toilet, you guys go on,"
The three wander off as I turn round the side of the toilet building and approach the men's room.
Suddenly as I walk, out of the woman's toilets comes Sakura.
I pause, eyes wide. She notices me and smiles.
"Hey Sasuke," She greets.
This is extremely awkward, made only worse as I really need a piss right now.
"Hey, how's it going?" I begin conversationally.
"Oh it's fine," She looks as awkward as me, "How's things with Karin?"
... time out, ahem... WHAT THE FUCK! !
Okay mental screaming over but what the hell does 'how's things with Karin' mean? I may be overreacting but to me that sound like she thinks I'm going out with Karin. Damn it, Damn Karin and damn my good looks.
"I'm not going out with Karin," I splutter out much angrier then intended.
"Oh," She seems taken aback as some dude cuts through us coming out of the toilet... gross he smelt.
"I just assumed," she mumbles sadly.
Okay I may have offended her with owe angry I said that so I should now be nice... in-fact now's a great time to hint I like her... near the toilets... fate gives me all the romantic scene doesn't it.
"No I don't like Karin," I laugh slightly, "I like much more, smarter, sophisticated women," (I hope those are her traits, it's what I picked up from what her friends say about her)
She smiles but clearly has nothing else to say and I really, really need a whizz.
"K, bye," I shout in her face then rush into the men's toilets.
Later at around six o clock, with the sun slowly falling in the sky, me and Naruto are playing on the DS again (Okay I know It's lame but I'm covering for Rock Lee at his stall and I'm BORED!)
"Shit, Pein coming at twelve O' clock," I suddenly mumble and slip the DS back to Naruto.
Pein arrives at the stall, his eyes are looking really scary and he also looks pissed off.
"Sasuke," he barks, "Stop messing about, your still working so get the hell back to work!"
He marches off leaving me and Naruto in shock.
"Why'd he shout at me!" I yelp, my voice going extremely high in annoyance.
"I don't know, normally he'd tell me off for distracting you," Naruto says slowly.
"Well haven't you heard?"
It's Kisame leaning against the stall counter, I pout, "Heard what?"
Kisame laughs slightly then continues, "It's big news Sasuke, apparently you're crushing on Pein's wife to be; Konan,"
I pause, "What?"
Kisame strolls off laughing to himself leaving me in shock. Did Sakura really take my hint that I liked her as I liked Konan? Konan! I would never like Konan, that's forbidden ground.
"Oh BF you've gotta go sort this out," Naruto shakes his head.
"Don't call me BF people will think things," I warn as I start to follow after Pein.
"It means Best friend!" He shouts after me.
I need to sort this all out with Pein and Konan I-
"Hello there young Uchiha,"
I look up to see I have marched into my boss, Orochimaru. God no, this is not the time!
"Hi Boss," I nod, eager to get going.
"No, no you just go ahead and call me Orochimaru hmm," he laughs slightly.
"Oh okay then... Orochimaru," In nod, glancing over his shoulder... come on!
"Going somewhere?" He smiles.
"Uh huh," I nod again.
"Where?"
Oh come on, is this a trap set by Pein?
"Oh you know, to sort something's out with Pein,"
"Of course," He nods. Oh I think he's letting me go, I am about to walk off when- "So how are you finding working here?"
DAMN IT!
"It's just dandy," I grind my teeth.
"Yes, yes; Universal Studios is a dandy place itself," He nods and smiles as if remembering a good memory- what the fuck is this guy on about? Get out my way!
"Okay I've gotta go now, cya!" I say quickly then leg it, finally.
Okay Orochimaru is weird... nice but weird. I feel bad about legging it but I'm pretty sure Pein gets off in ten minutes so I gotta find him now.
Eventually I find Pein in the staff locker room, taking a bag out of his locker.
"Pein!" I blurt.
He turns round stiffly and glares.
"Listen Pein I don't actually like Konan it's all just..."
He shrugs, "I know that, I'm just in a bad mood,"
He did?
We talk for another five minutes, me on the receiving end of a shit load of threats about actually liking Konan... even though we all know; I DO NOT FANCY THE WOMAN, I LOVE SAKURA!
These Newbie's really have spiced things up here at Universal Studios I can say that much...