My Metaphorical and literal rollercoaster life

Written by Ghostsammeo

Disclaimer: I do not own anything to do with Naruto (Or Universal Studios on that matter) and make no money from this story.

A/N When I wrote the first half of this chapter on paper it was doing fine, for some reason the second half seemed off to me, I dunno you be the judge!

Summary: 'The Jurassic Park ride isn't the most romantic place to fall in love, but at least it will make a funny story' – Sasuke's life turns into some romantic comedy fanfiction when he gets a job at Universal Studios.

It's a few days after the Sakura incident and I am still in a mad rage of ranting.

"I mean what the hell, who does that? You can't just snog a guy in his flat then feel up his six-pack then leave, which I do have by the way Suigetsu; I work out, I have a six-pack! Oh! Maybe she just wanted to feel my muscles... no she's not like that, or maybe she is, I still don't know her that well; maybe she's acting,"

Suigetsu (Who I am walking with through the park) nods, even though I know he's not listening. I don't mind though, at least he's putting up with that annoying little ringing in his ear which is me and my rant.

"On the other hand-" Suigetsu cuts me off as we sit down on a bench.

I'm pulled out of my rant to see we're at this kind of meeting spot the newbies made to go to during breaks. Luckily Sakura is not here; it's only Shikamaru, Temari, Gaara, Choji and Neji.

"-I'm taking it steady with Ino," Suigetsu grins.

"Doesn't that just mean the woman can break it off with you and not look like a bitch cuz you weren't in a 'serious' relationship"?" Shikamaru drawls from his spot on a wooden, picnic style table.

"Funny, I could have sworn you and Temari are 'taking it steady'," Suigetsu quickly snaps back.

"Yeah, I'm expecting her to dump me any day now," Shikamaru shrugs.

"Only if a really fit boy comes along," Temari teases.

I haven't really even seen Sakura since the incident. Another day passes and I realise that to stop ranting into everybody's ears about her I need to actually confront her.

"What? No don't do that!"

"Why not?"

I've just told my plan to confront Sakura, round Itachi's house to Naruto, but everybody listened in and apparently Deidara thinks against it.

"Because, Sasuke, confronting her will just mess it all up, you'll say something mean and you'll never go on a date with her again, yeah!" Deidara explains his theory to me.

"What experience are you taking this piece of advice from, Deidara?" Sasori questions smugly.

Deidara ignores the comment.

"I don't think talking to her would be a good idea either, Sasuke," Itachi says quietly from his armchair.

"That's new, Itachi and Deidara are agreeing on something; maybe you should listen to them then kid," Kakuzu comments with a chuckle.

"But I have to do something!" I bellow.

"Yeah, I've had enough of his whining," Naruto nods tiresomely.

"Maybe if it wasn't you, Sasuke, I would say sure go talk to her, but you're a hot-headed Uchiha; that girl wouldn't be able to take the fire," Itachi tells me honestly.

"I agree, Sasuke, don't do a fucking thing! Let me deal with this," Hidan puts forth.

"No way, I don't want anybody doing anything for me," I shake my head.

This is just like them all, talking in-between themselves about my problems and what they'll do to fix them.

"Yes, perhaps you should leave Sasuke to his own problems," Pein comments as he comes in and switches off the television which is on.

"Hey I was watching that!" Tobi yelps.

"You're the only one," Pein shrugs and sits down on the armrest next to me.

"No, we can't leave this to Sasuke, he'll either ruin his chances with her by confronting her or leave it forever until she dies of old age, let me help you, yeah!" Deidara jumps up.

"I don't want yours or Hidan's help," I roll my eyes.

"Do you want my help?" Kisame asks as he enters the room from the kitchen.

"No,"

"Okay,"

"Listen, Sasuke, buddy," Hidan gets up from his position on the floor, pushes Naruto off the sofa and sits down next to me as he swings his arm round my shoulders, "I get the impression you really like this girl,"

I don't answer.

"And you really want this to work,"

I again stay silent.

"But frankly, if you confronted her all you'd do is fuck it all up. Clearly this is your first time being turned down by a girl... and you may not believe this, but I have,"

"Oh I believe it," Naruto snorts on the floor but his silenced by Hidan's foot in his ribs.

"So I propose you let me and a bunch of my friends settle this dealio for you,"

"I don't want you talking to her-"

"No, we won't do the talking for you," Hidan shakes his head, "What we'll do is talk to her and her friends, find out information and hand it all to you so when you do confront her, you're prepared and don't act like a fucking moron, okay?"

He looks at me expectantly, with a sigh I nod.

"Okay, great! Kakuzu, Deidara and Tobi, I want you guys to be in my squad, anybody else want in?" Hidan asks and surveys the room.

"I'll step in if you start to mess up Sasuke's life," Itachi puts up his hand.

"Okay, fine, you're backup, whatever," Hidan waves him away, "So boys, tomorrow our mission begins,"

I can't help but feel that they might actually accomplish something. I mean at least something's actually going to happen instead of me standing around and bitching right?

"Does Sakura like Sasuke?"

"I don't know."

"Does Sakura like Sasuke?"

"I. Don't. Know."

"DOES SAKURA LIKE SASUKE?"

"We're going round in circles here,"

"Tobi, leave him alone!" I step in and pull Tobi's hands off Neji's collar, "Sorry man,"

Neji just glares at us behind his counter.

I walk with Tobi down the path and speak when Neji is out of earshot, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Tobi shrugs, "Hidan told me to come down to this part of the park to interrogate people,"

"Yeah but Neji was in the middle of handing out to a paying customer a hotdog! If this is what you guys are going to be doing then I don't want your help!"

"Uchiha?"

I snap up and see Orochimaru trotting over to us.

"Shouldn't you be working on your ride Sasuke?"

I glance back to the Jurassic park ride and see Jugo, dressed as a tour guide and on the boat, being shouted at by bored, angry riders.

"Oh yes, sorry sir," I mutter.

"Well since you're an Uchiha and have such positively lovely eyes," (...seriously?) "I'll let you off... go on off you go,"

I nod and saunter off. Damn, will I have to monitor what Hidan and his group do all week?

On my first break at eleven I meet up with Hidan, Kakuzu, Deidara and Tobi in the staff lockers.

"Okay, let's make this quick; my break is actually in an hour and I've left my rollercoaster on loop until I get back," Kakuzu sighs.

"Holy crap! Should you really be doing that?" I cry.

"Well I did say let's make this quick," he shrugs.

"Yeah okay," Hidan nods, "So did anybody find anything out?"

"Nothing new hm," Deidara says, the others echo his words.

"Fuck. Next plan: we go straight to Sakura and demand to know what's going on!" Hidan says.

"No!" I interject, "You said you wouldn't talk to her,"

"Not technically true there friend," Tobi points out.

"Yeah, we said you'd be the one to confront her sure, but we also said we'd talk to her first to gather information to hand to you," Hidan grins.

"So is that what's going on?" We all turn quickly to see Tenten shoving some bags into her locker, "Everybody was saying you lot were going around asking questions,"

"Let me handle this," Deidara says to us and steps forwards, "Listen cutey,"

"Cutey?" Tenten raises an eyebrow.

"I don't know what you think you heard, but if I gave you a kiss perhaps whatever you did hear could be erased?"

"I'll have you done for sexual harassment," She replies dryly.

"Then my work here is done," Deidara nods and turns around.

"Go away!" Hidan dumbs it down for her over his shoulder, tutting Tenten leaves.

"That normally works," Deidara mumbles to himself.

"Maybe she doesn't like blondes," Tobi supposes.

"Tobi!" Deidara growls.

"What?"

"Shut up!"

"Right, I'm off to speak to Sakura then," Hidan says suddenly and leaves before I can shout out.

"And I'm off to stop that rollercoaster," Kakuzu nods and also leaves along with Deidara and Tobi.

I stay and eat in the staffroom to the side of the lockers then eventually leave back into the sunlight again only to run into Karin by the front of the park.

"Sasuke!" She shrieks and marches up to me, "Why is everybody asking about Sakura?"

"Because I went on a date with her," That 'ought to shut her up and make her leave me alone.

"You went on a date with her?" She repeats.

"Yes,"

"Are you like, going out?" She pressures.

Damn, she's got me. Now she'll know something went wrong and love me even more! (Yes, being loved is a problem for me)

"Are we going out?" I stall as I tap my chin with my finger, "Well I would say we're on the way to that stage I suppose,"

She studies my face, then, "She turned you down didn't she?"

Clenching my teeth I walk past her.

"That bitch! How could she turn down you?" She says as she follows.

"I know right?" I mutter as I walk.

Luckily Suigetsu spots me a minute into my lovely walk with Karin just as she starts to make passes at me, so I escape with him.

"So, Sasuke, I see you've calmed down about the Sakura incident," he says as we walk.

"Hn," I shrug.

"And you got Hidan and his group questioning everyone about it," he continues.

"Is it that obvious?" I sigh.

"Sasuke, they're cornering people, tugging them by the shirt and yelling; why did Sakura turn down Sasuke, into people's faces... so yeah, kinda obvious,"

"Man, what jerks. I trusted them to kinda work behind the scenes to find out information not attack people-"

I'm cut short when I see her. She's leaning by a games stall, Deidara in-front of her speaking; and judging by her facial expression she does not like what she's hearing.

"You seeing what I'm seeing?" Suigetsu says.

"Yeah, should I step in?"

Suigetsu turns to me, "No, no, no, no, Sasuke. You don't want to be coming into contact with her, especially now your pal Deidara is talking,"

"What do you think he's saying," I wonder.

"He's saying what I told him to say," Hidan says from behind us.

We turn to see him, immediately noticeable is a red, hand mark on his right cheek.

Suigetsu snorts with laughter, "How'd you get that?"

"Sasuke's girlfriend gave it to me!" Hidan replies in an offended tone, "I was talking and mid –sentence, BAM! Hidan's got a booboo,"

"What the hell did you say to her?" I demand, stepping forwards.

"Whoah, whoah, Sasuke, if you hit me too I swear I'll cut you," Hidan laughs, but when he sees I'm serious he sighs, "All did was question her about why she ditched you and stuff and the broad got mad, saying stuff like; I can't believe he told you about it! Now isn't that rude, I mean I'm a trustworthy guy! The question should be why Sasuke wouldn't tell me-"

"Oh, heads up, here comes Deidara," Suigetsu interrupts and nods at the blonde trudging over.

When he arrives there's a silence, then he raises his hand and slaps Hidan round the face.

"'The fuck was that for?" He curses immediately.

"Sorry," Deidara mutters, and when he turns to me to give me the same treatment I notice the red hand mark on his face, "Sorry," he repeats to me.

"Ah! Fucking...fuck face," I mutter to myself as he slaps my cheek.

Suigetsu flinches when Deidara turns to him.

"Oh no, I haven't been told to hit you un," Deidara explains miserably.

"Deidara you shit, why the fucking heck did you do that for?" Hidan roars.

"Sakura told me to do it yeah," Deidara tells him sourly, "She told me to slap Sasuke as well,"

"What did you say to her?" I bellow. Seriously, they've only made things worse for me so far.

"Well I said what Hidan told me to say, I demanded answers and when she didn't speak I insulted her hair colour then she slapped me,"

"You did what? Deidara why did you even get angry, you had nothing to get angry about!" I shout.

"I dunno, I got frustrated she wasn't giving me answers..." he trails off.

"That's it, Hidan; you guys are off the case!"

"Aw what the fuck?" Hidan moans, "We haven't even got through one day yet!"

"Yes, and you've already wrecked my chances with Sakura!" I retort.

"We tried so hard as well yeah," Deidara sniffs.

"They did try hard Sasuke," Suigetsu nods and sips his drink (where did he get it from though!)

"I don't care! They tried hard to ruin my life is all they did!" I exclaim.

"Oh, that's not fucking nice, that's not a nice comment Uchiha!" Hidan turns to me, "We tried very hard to help you; Tobi almost got fired for harassment!"

I stare at Hidan in disbelief, "And that's a good thing how?"

"It shows dedication," Suigetsu says to me.

I feel like screaming at all of them and running away. I don't care how hard they've tried, all they have done is ruined my relationship with Sakura... oh and it's not even the afternoon yet!

"I just don't get it," Hidan sighs as he slouches into his chair, "Nothings came up,"

It's been almost a week since Hidan and friends started their little team to uncover the truth and thus far all they've found is... nothing. NOTHING!

"I've asked everyone in the park, all her friends seem to be as secretive as her," Kakuzu sighs.

"I came close once," Tobi says, "That Ino girl told me it's personal so I should just fuck off,"

"Well thank you," I begin sarcastically, "Thank you for harassing all my friends and making me look like a dick in the process, it's much appreciated but as I said last week, you're off the case,"

"Don't be rude to my housemates Sasuke," Itachi says from the kitchen to the left.

And what happened to him stepping in if they started to mess up my life?

"Liar," I hiss at Itachi earning a few weird looks my way.

"...Maybe she has a penis yeah," Deidara says after a minute of silent contemplation.

"Oh yeah, that's a good thought!" Hidan nods vigorously.

"Oh shush!" I sigh.

We sit in silence again when suddenly- from the sofa between Hidan and Tobi -speaks Konan.

"You boys have got this all wrong,"

We turn to look at her, "No we haven't," Deidara declares indigenously.

"You all don't understand basic psychology. Maybe the girl, Sakura, would like to talk to Sasuke rather than his older brothers friends,"

"Konan, dear," Hidan laughs lightly like he's better than everyone else, "We have deliberately made Sasuke avoid Sakura; if they talked it would probably end up with one of them crying on the floor in their room,"

"And it would be Sasuke," Tobi puts forth.

"Yes. Thank you Tobi, that part went unsaid," Hidan breaths heavily.

"Just listen to me," Konan sighs, "The reason she did what she did is because she didn't want to rush things, she probably thinks she made a mistake,"

"So what do I do?" I question as I lean forwards. Who knew Konan was so wise?

"You talk to her Sasuke," she says seriously.

"That's all good and well, but why didn't you say this last week?" Kakuzu demands.

"It wasn't my business a week ago," she explains, "But seeing as the only topic in this house nowadays is about helping Sasuke do this and that, I've decided to give a little help,"

"Thanks Konan," I smile slightly as I stand up, "You know, you're not as weird and scary as I first thought you were,"

Itachi walks in then walks out when he see's Konan's face literally drop.

"Because... piercings... erm," I mumble as she glares at me... WHY DID I SAY THAT?

"Just leave," she says dryly.

I nod and run out of the house.

The following day is slow. All I have on my mind is how I'm going to confront Sakura, and when I'm relieved from my post at lunch I know it's time to confront her.

I walk down the stone path away from the Jurassic park area, but the shrubbery around is still thick and green.

"Sasuke,"

I turn and see Tenten and Rock Lee.

"What?"

"Err... We both got the feeling that you were looking for someone," Rock Lee scratches his neck in embarrassment.

"She's down that way," Tenten points to a small upwards path leading to some toilets and more bushes and leaves.

"Thanks... you know you guys aren't as..." I stop myself before I insult them like I did to Konan, and quickly follow their instructions.

I see her straight away, sitting about thirty feet away on a bench tucked neatly away to the side under the trees and bushes.

Gulping I approach.

"Sakura," I say lightly as I arrive.

She turns, man have I missed her face.

Her face flashes anger for a second, but lands on relief, "Sasuke," she says softly.

I sit down on the bench next to her.

At this point I was kind of hoping for some romantic speech, but nothing comes up and we sit in silence.

I notice a salad bowl on her lap and being the brilliant speaker I am, I comment, "You should be eating more than that for lunch... you're skinny enough,"

"I have sandwiches in my bag," She replies quickly.

"Ah," I nod; we both turn to look at each other.

"I'm sorry," We both say in unison.

"Hn." I quickly look away. Damn my apology as been ruined.

"No, I'm sorry," She repeats, "It's just that, Sasuke, you have to understand that I just don't want...need... a boyfriend right now... that's the only reason I bailed at your flat all those days ago,"

I stare at my feet then ask, "But... do you like me?"

I look up and catch her emerald eyes; we hold it there for a second until she replies, "Yes,"

Suddenly she gets up and leaves.

I stay on the bench, my mind racing. It would have been much simpler if she said no, but now she likes me but... what did she say? 'Doesn't need' me. Man, I'm confused.

"That's got to be confusing," Comes a voice next me, almost making me jump out of my seat.

"Naruto!" I hiss at the dobe sitting next to me, "Did you listen to all of that?"

"Well yeah," he admits, "Why? was I not aloud?"

"No!" I yelp. "Were you hiding in the bushes behind us?" I realise.

"Yeah... I didn't wanna ruin the moment by being there," he shrugs.

"Didn't wanna be caught more like," I mutter.

"Not true, I showed myself after all," he smiles.

"Naruto you..." I pause... oh no.

I whip round to look behind in time to see the small form of Hinata Hyuga fleeing the scene.

"Argh! You creepy girl!" I yell after her, "She followed you! She heard it all too!"

"Who heard too?" Naruto follows my gaze, "Her?" He points at a middle age woman walking on the path through the bushes who glares at him in response to his gaze.

"No, Hinata... the girl who stalks you!" I explain.

"I've got a stalker?" His face scrunches up.

"Yes, yes you do!" I sigh and rub my eyes, "Dammit... right okay it's no big deal, in my next break me, you and Suigetsu can corner her.

"Right, when is your next break," Naruto nods.

"Err I get off at five... you go tell Suigetsu," I say and leave back to my shift.

I continue the day in an abysmal mood, however admittedly slightly eager to catch up with Hinata Hyuga.

"Sasuke," Comes Gaara's whisper later on in the day.

I turn from the coaster controls, "Yeah?"

"It's five, Pein says you've got the rest of the day off,"

"Great," I nod and hop off, taking out my phone and texting both Naruto and Suigetsu.

I hear both their rings behind me.

I turn to see both of them looking content, "How did you do that? You know what it doesn't matter let's go," I shake my head and lead them off to the front of the park.

For some reason Sasori tags along with us as we travel (apparently he's bored) then Itachi tags along as he is complaining at Suigetsu that his shift isn't over.

"Alright there she is," I say and point at Hinata by a wall when we reach the front of the park.

"What's going on?" Itachi questions as we march after Hinata.

"I don't know, I think your brothers going to hit that cute girl or something," Sasori shrugs.

Raising his eyebrow Itachi follows regardless.

"Hinata!" I say loudly.

She meeps as we close in on her.

"Can we have a word?" Suigetsu asks... Suigetsu watches a lot of action dramas so he knows how to make things sound cool.

"Y-yes... what about?" she mumbles, her eyes primarily on Naruto.

"Hinata I know you heard mine and Sakura's conversation. You know her well enough; can you please just tell me what she meant?" I plead.

"I'm not sure I should," She mumbles.

"Leave the girl alone, Sasuke," Itachi sighs.

"Just a hint will do Hinata," Naruto grins; she goes bright red and suddenly is speaking stuff about boyfriends and Sakura's bad past.

"Hey, boys!"

We turn our attention to Ino who is marching over.

"Leave Hinata alone, I'll tell you everything," Ino sighs.

"Thanks Hinata," Naruto pats Hinata on the shoulder who in an immediate effect faints. Luckily Itachi and Sasori catch her and carry her off.

"Listen," Ino begins, "Sakura doesn't have a very good past with boyfriends... let's start off in high school; she dated famed runner and jock Idate, he turned out to be a cocky prat so next up was Zaku. Zaku was a rough kid with scary friends so that ended quickly enough, and then came the wonderful Kakashi who sadly cut it short with Sakura because he decided though she was eighteen, she was still too young. That was a hard time for her so as a bounce back she dated this creep Kabuto who evidently told us about this job, he's friends with Orochimaru,"

"What does that have to do with me?" I question.

"Well most of those boyfriends were really mean guys, and Sasuke you have the makings of a really mean guy. Like all you would need is your older brother to kill your whole family and you'd be the meanest guy alive," She explains.

"That's slightly inappropriate," I mumble lightly but I let her continue.

"You are nice and all Sasuke, but she doesn't want to take the chance... oh and Suigetsu can we just stay in tonight I've got no money for the cinema,"

"Yeah sure," Suigetsu nods then leaves with Ino.

"What you gonna do now Sasuke?" Naruto says quietly.

I sigh then turn to him, "I'm going to prove Sakura wrong,"