My Metaphorical and literal rollercoaster life
Written by Ghostsammeo
Disclaimer: I do not own anything to do with Naruto (Or Universal Studios on that matter) and make no money from this story.
A/N Apologises for chapter one of this story, I have just read back and it's obvious I didn't proof read very well, hopefully this chapter won't be the same, however since it has taken ages to write I'm guessing my proof reading skills aren't too good at the moment! Also I'm spelling Juugo's name with two U's now instead of one like before. Thanks for reviewing so far everyone!
Summary: 'The Jurassic Park ride isn't the most romantic place to fall in love, but at least it will make a funny story' – Sasuke's life turns into some romantic comedy fanfiction when he gets a job at Universal Studios.
"Would you like me to hold your bag for you Ino?"
"No, I'm fine,"
... "Oh Ino do you have any money today for lunch because if you don't I can always buy it for you,"
"Again, I'm fine, thanks,"
"Okay, good... Ino would you-"
"Dude, Sasuke, she's cool for now," Suigetsu stops me.
I nod and let the couple walk off down the path, eventually disappearing into the sea of tourists.
It's Thursday and yesterday I vowed to prove Sakura wrong about me and show her that I am a nice guy.
Proving you're a nice guy involves three steps: firstly you must always ask if anybody needs any form of help whatsoever, secondly one must always speak in proper English with correct grammar and manner and finally you must always smile... Always.
That third step is kinda hard for me; my natural tendency is to avoid a smile at all costs.
"What are you doing?"
I turn; that big, horrible grin still on my face, to meet Itachi studying me curiously. I must look like a right weirdo standing in the middle of a path smiling at seemingly everything, especially for somebody who knows me.
I'm about to bark out that he should mind his own business but instead stay true to my act and say, "I'm afraid I don't understand what you mean big brother,"
Itachi's eyes narrow, "Come again?"
I grind out another smile, "I said-"
"I heard you," he interrupts, "But I want to know what you're really doing,"
Itachi treads over into the shade to sit on a stall for some place you can buy drinks and snacks from. I follow when he nods at me to come over.
"Well I was just talking to my friends Suigetsu and Ino, then stood there awhile taking in the wonder and beauty of nature,"
He shakes his head, "Cut it out, Sasuke,"
"No you cut it out," I quickly hiss but recover my smile for some tourists coming to our stall and buying some drinks from the stall vendor behind us.
"What?" My brother demands.
"Look, I'm putting on a nice act for Sakura, now leave me alone!" I continue.
"Not if you're going to talk to me like that," He says airily, "If you're putting on a nice act then speak to me nicely."
Sighing I say, "Itachi, can you excuse me please I have business to attend to,"
"Hmm... no," He taps his chin.
"No?"
"No."
"You bastard! Excuse me from your presence now!" I roar.
"Sasuke, I just want to talk to you, any nice brother would do that," he pouts. What a jerk!
"Hey guys," Kisame greets as he suddenly plonks down on a stall next to us, "You two want drinks?" he reaches for his wallet.
"Nah, Sasuke will get them, Kisame," Itachi says to him.
Kisame blinks at me then grins, "Hey, thanks kid!"
"What? I'm not getting you drinks," I snort and begin to get up to spend my break elsewhere.
"Aw. That'll be a shame. Sakura will be so disappointed in you," Itachi says just loud enough for me to hear.
I freeze. So that's his game is it? He's going to use and blackmail me with threats of telling Sakura how 'not-nice' I am? Well I won't give in!
"Get lost; I don't have to be nice to you, only Sakura's friends,"
"Sasuke, I'm one of Sakura's bosses, as are all of my housemates," he says confidently after flashing a smirk at Kisame.
He's right! I almost forgot that technically, through experience, Orochimaru has made Itachi and his friends; mine, Suigetsu's Sakura and all her friends', bosses. Then Konan is above them then Pein as lead supervisor then Orochimaru at the top!
"Fine... you spoilt brat," I mutter and throw my money down on the counter for some drinks.
After my break has finished I make my way towards the Jurassic park ride just to find Deidara waiting for me in the control panel station.
"Sasuke Uchiha," He says as I come upwards towards him, "You're the tour guide this afternoon,"
...No, no I'm not.
"As if," I roll my eyes and climb into the control panel area. He watches me; facial expression never changing from that cocky, slightly amused look.
"You are yeah," he smiles.
"No, I'm not," I reply.
He sighs and takes out his phone; he punches some buttons in, then, "Hello Sakura,"
He looks at me and smirks at my horrified expression. How did he get her number?
"Yes this is Deidara... It doesn't matter how I got your number... uhuh... okay... well actually... oh yes that's true, now listen I actually was calling to tell you about Sasuke in-fact... yes, I would advise you against- "
"No!" I hiss at him.
He smirks again, "-Advise you against contracting AIDS... yes that's all I called to say... definitely a big waste of time... very weird of me, I agree... Okay bye for now hmm," He puts his phone back in his pocket then points at the boat.
So, everyone knows about me being nice and now I'm officially the world's bitch.
Through the course of the day I find myself slaving away for everybody's needs due to the fact they all threaten to tell Sakura about how 'mean' or 'rude' I have been. I have so far fed Akamaru, fetched Temari her lunch and brushed Orochimaru's hair (a dare from Sasori who threatened to tell Sakura about the totally made up time I tripped over a four year old girl) amongst other things.
I wanted to prove to Sakura I'm a nice guy by doing a bunch of good deeds, not be blackmailed into helping the whole motherfucking world!
The next day I have been given a day off (A bunch of us who have 'worked hard this week' have been given that prize) but since I have nothing to do but cry about Sakura at my flat (joking, I don't do that... ahem...) I decided to come to Universal Studios as a tourist! Hurray- except I don't particularly like rollercoasters.
As I walk with Naruto I hear my name being called. Turning I see: Ino, Suigetsu, Karin and Juugo standing at the back of a line for a rollercoaster.
Flipping my shades down for major badass effect, I stroll over to them with a big, fake grin plastered on my face.
"Good morning all, I see you also have this fine day off, how quaint,"
"Oh, Sasuke, stop it, Sakura's not here," Ino shakes her head. With a sigh of relief I release my grin.
"Sasuke, are you going to come onto this coaster with us?" Karin asks me.
I wince up at the twirling, metal mess; barely visible due to the shining sun behind it.
I'm not scared; I just don't want to mess up my hair, not to mention coasters are just boring, what's so fun about flying through the air yet staying safe and secure with barely any worry of going out of control? ... Well okay when I say it like that it sounds fun but normally the idea doesn't appeal to me.
"I'll pass," I say.
"Aw, Sasuke you wimp!" Naruto laughs and hops into line.
"You scared Sasuke?" Suigetsu questions, he's clearly taking the piss out of me.
I'll show both of them the sharp-toothed cunts!
"Fine, I'll go on it," I shrug and step into line.
We queue for another couple of minutes when suddenly we're being shoved back... from behind?
Me and my friends share looks of confusion as six new people are in-front of us.
There are five boys and one girl. Along with two identical twins and this massive guy, I can tell all they will be good for is causing trouble and robbing... lots and lots of robbing.
They natter away when suddenly Ino stops them, "Err, you just pushed in line,"
They all turn, looking at Ino like she's a piece of dirt.
"You take this one Tayuya," The white haired one says to the red haired girl who nods and thanks 'Kimimaro' before stepping forward and basically into Ino's face.
"Really?" She says, eyes narrowing.
Ino is not fazed, "Yes, Really."
Suigetsu stands by, gnawing on his fingernails as his girlfriend and Tayuya exchange threatening words, eventually he steps in, "Alright, get out her face!"
"Get out her face Tayuya, oh my god," one of the twins mocks Suigetsu.
"O.M.G, Tayuya just get of her face stop being so rude," the other twin joins in.
"Sakon, Ukon, shut up! I'm serious with this bitch," Tayuya sneers back at them then turns back to Ino, "So... are you going to do anything about it?"
"Hells yeah we're gonna to something about it!"
... I thought Naruto had been a little quiet.
They all turn to glare at Naruto who grins back confidently at them all. The big guy cracks his knuckles.
"Naruto, shut up," I hiss under my breath.
"Why? We can take these guys in a fight, I'm not scared," he whispers back.
True enough. I think we could probably win if a fight breaks out, maybe not beat the big guy, but we've got Juugo on our side in that case. Suigetsu says when Juugo gets mad, he gets really mad. Apparently one time before I worked here he got so mad he chased Suigetsu around actually intent on killing him! Suigetsu apparently kept throwing anything he could find back at him; that included cuddly toys through to drinking glasses he found in the kitchens of restaurants. My brother was the one to calm him in the end. All in all, Juugo sounds pretty tough.
I nod. Right, we're not gonna let these punks push us around!
"Okay," I say to Naruto then turn, "Hey!"
They all look at me.
"You guys better get out of here, we don't want any trouble but I'm afraid-"
"You've got some," The big one says gruffly.
Damn! Bastard stole my line!
"That. Was. Sasuke's line!" Naruto bellows and begins to rush forward when suddenly Juugo's arm comes out and stops us going forward.
He looks at me, "Sasuke," he says quietly, "Rumours of a fight will spread quickly,"
It takes me a second to work out what he is saying. He's indicating that if I get into a fight now, Sakura will hear that I was involved and I'd lose my chance with her forever!
I nod slowly and pull Naruto back, "We don't want a fight,"
"Well you should have thought about that before you opened your mouth, rat," Tayuya spits.
"Err, can I just point out that it was Ino that spoke out, not Sasuke," Karin emerges from Juugo and says tentatively.
"Shut up, bitch," The guy with the ponytail curses.
"Right," Karin nods and eagerly disappears behind Juugo again.
"So, what now?" Suigetsu mumbles.
"How about you leave, right now and never come back," hisses Sakon or Ukon.
"We work here jackass," Ino roars.
"Can you keep your bitch quiet please," Tayuya snarls at me.
I must not get into a fight! "Oh, she's not my... bitch... she's Suigetsu's,"
"Sasuke!" Suigetsu squeals in outrage.
"I'm bored, can we just beat the shit out of them then go get a hotdog," yawns Sakon or Ukon.
"Yeah, come on then!" Naruto growls.
"No, Naruto," I glare. He looks at me and finally understands that we are not fighting.
"Okay," he nods, "We can't fight you... right now. How about tomorrow?"
"Naruto!" We all scream.
"Fine," the one called Kimimaro decides, "We'll return tomorrow,"
"To teach you all a lesson," the ponytail guy smiles mischievously.
"And we should bring Zabuza along to!" Tayuya remarks and they all laugh evilly like little, evil pixie townies.
Immediately I smack Naruto round the back of the head.
"Ow! What was that for?" he demands and rubs the spot I hit him.
"Naruto, I can't fight these guys!" I shout.
"Sure you can," he enthuses.
"No, if I fight, Sakura will think I'm a dickhead and never give me a chance!" I run my hands through my hair as we step out of line, "Man, what should I do?"
"I dunno, but I'm not getting involved either," Suigetsu says.
"Yeah but you don't have to worry anyway, they identified you as just some guy who has Ino as a bitch," I say to him.
"Sasuke!" He squeals in outrage again.
I continue, "I'm identified as Naruto's mate who wanted the fight!"
"Just see what tomorrow brings Sasuke, I'm sure they won't bother coming," Ino says.
Sighing I decide to leave to spend the rest of my day at my flat wondering who the fuck Zabuza is, playing a bit of monopoly and working out to try and get really buff and scare them off when they return (it doesn't work in half a day sadly).
"What are you doing?" Deidara questions me.
I look up through the leaves to see him peering down at me. I stand up and hop out the bush, "Just chillin'" I say casually.
"You were hiding?" Deidara puts forth.
"Yes."
"From... Sakura?"
"No."
"Choji?"
"No... why Choji?"
"You might have called him fat,"
"Well I didn't,"
"Then who are you hiding from hmm!" He explodes.
"From this group who want to have a fight with me," I confer.
"Oh yeah, Itachi told me about that... need any help?" He offers.
"How do you mean?"
"I mean do you want me to give them a bit of Dei-Dei kung fu magic?" He grins.
"There's like six of them, you couldn't take them all on," I sigh.
"I'd get Hidan to help, he likes fighting," Deidara shrugs.
It's not a bad idea, but I'd rather them not do anything and just let this whole situation fade away.
"Nah, don't approach them, just back me up yeah?"
"Yeah," he nods and walks off after saying some goodbyes.
I look right and left then jump back into the bush.
Eventually I find myself scaling the sides of the park to navigate myself between shifts. Annoyingly today I am constantly changing rides with others, so half the day I've got to be out in the open, wandering the open.
"Sasuke!" Karin screams as I sneak out the staff toilets at the front of the park.
"Shh," I press my finger against my lips.
"Shh," she mimics me, nodding seriously.
"Good, now what do you want?" I question.
"I just came to tell you those people that confronted us yesterday have been seen in the park," She explains.
I curse.
"Are you scared?" she whispers.
"No, I just don't want to fight," I explain.
"Oh yeah, for Sakura," She says dryly.
"Yes, for Sakura," I nod, "Where were they spotted then?"
"I don't know, all I know is they're definitely here today," She tells me.
"Anything else?"
"Yes, they've brought along some new guy," she goes on.
"Zabuza," I curse like the guy is my arch enemy or something even though I've never even seen him.
"Who?" her red eyes light up.
"Nothing... what did he look like?"
"Well he's older than them, mid twenties or something, big and muscular and apparently very scary looking," She describes.
"There you are Sasuke,"
Me and Karin stand up from our sneaky stances to see Kiba riding Akamaru over to us. (Is he aloud to ride his dog? I mean, really, isn't it animal abuse?)
"I've been looking for you," Kiba continues, "I hear you're in a bit of trouble,"
"Yeah, I suppose," I nod.
"Well if you get into any scuffs, you've got me an Akamaru to back you up, okay?"
"Thanks," I smile gratefully.
Suddenly his walkie talkie buzzes to life.
There's some speaking I can't make out from it, then Kiba turns to us, "Apparently there's some ruckus going on in the centre plaza, okay let's go Akamaru, yahoo!"
Akamaru leaps off with Kiba riding. Shrugging me and Karin follow.
When we arrive in the plaza my eyes are immediately drawn to Tayuya who is lurking about near the edge of the area.
Intent on avoiding her I rush into a big crowd, sighing with relief I stand to come face to face with a big, spiky haired, tanned guy breathing heavily down on me.
"Zabuza," I mutter, wide-eyed.
"That's me," He says huskily.
And that's when I almost pissed myself. Almost. I didn't. Sasuke Uchiha doesn't piss himself.
Behind him are all the boys which confronted me yesterday.
"Oh, there's another one," Sakon or Ukon points at me.
Another one? I turn to see Naruto is standing behind me, along with Hidan, Deidara and Kiba on Akamaru. The crowd around us consists of people I know like Rock-Lee and Gaara amongst some other faces I don't know.
"Oh," I mutter, "Hey there Sakon and or Ukon,"
"Fuck you," one of them flips up his middle finger at me.
"If you touch this boy I will destroy your face yeah!" Deidara suddenly bellows.
"And I will tear out your bones and use them to create my own personalised scythe so I can then rape your body with it!" Hidan follows up.
Ouch. Hidan's insane!
"And I'm warning you one last time, please leave or you'll be forcibly taken out the park," Kiba finalises the talking.
"I'm not scared of you or your dog, you're just a child," Zabuza snorts.
"Just knock out the black haired kid and we can start the fight with these three," the ponytailed guy says to Zabuza.
"Are you kidding?" Deidara laughs, "And how old are you? Twelve? You know they give out three pushchairs here at Universal studios if your legs are hurting,"
He is about to react when Kimimaro says, "Kidomaru, leave it,"
"This is boring, let's get this over with so I can go home," Zabuza says, "You guys owe me one,"
Suddenly his fist is slamming into me and I stumble backwards into someone's arms. Neji's I think.
Next thing I see is Kiba pulling Kidomaru into a lock, Akamaru on top of Kimimaro, Deidara and Hidan punching and dodging against the big guy and Zabuza and finally Naruto being held in a headlock by one of the twins as the other one punches him... Naruto you idiot.
I'm guided away and am fixed up by Ino in the staff room; she wipes away the blood from my nose and checks if it's broken (as if, I'm Sasuke Uchiha!).
An hour passes and for some reason I'm not allowed to leave the staff room. Finally I am escorted to Orochimaru's office, where I am sat in a chair in-front of his desk.
"You'll be glad to know those bunch of miscreants have been banned from the park," Orochimaru begins, "And I think it's only right to tell you that Hidan has been suspended from work for four months on full pay; I've arranged for anger management classes for him during those four months,"
My mind is racing. What about Deidara and Naruto, and what even happened in the end.
He answers my second question without me even opening my mouth, "Hidan got a bit overboard and during his fight claimed he would rip out one of the younger hooligan's bones and use it to create a raping scythe to erm...do stuff... to the hooligans twin... that is clearly not aloud,"
I'm about to open my mouth to speak when he gets there before me, "Not that it matters Sasuke, but those boys who fought on your behalf did 'win', if you're wondering. Also that young security guard, Kiba, cleared yours and Naruto's names from the fight; apparently your blonde friend was a victim of a blow to the face just like you,"
The only difference being I didn't actually join in on the fight and get beaten up. Naruto's very lucky he can't fight to save his life otherwise he'd have a ban from the park as well.
"Deidara?" I manage to say.
"Yes, though the young security guard did put his name forward as an instigator in the fight he proved his innocence when I had him here in the office,"
That's actually hilarious and unfair at the same time! Deidara clearly placed all the blame on Hidan and got of trouble the sneaky bastard!
"Well done for not getting involved Sasuke, that will be all," Orochimaru smiles.
I leave and whistle when outside. The sun is slowly lowering and beaming an orange glow down onto me.
It's been one heck of a day. The only thing to make it crazier is if I meet Sakura and-
"Sasuke,"
I know the voice immediately. I turn to see Sakura, looking at me pitifully.
"Hey, Sakura," I say, then remember my goal to make her see me as a nice guy, so quickly place a smile on my face from ear to ear.
"Sasuke," She laughs slightly, "I know what you've been doing... and... thank you, for it,"
"Oh," I lose my smile, "You know?"
We both wallow in that awkward silence which seems to be following the both of us. I owe her an explanation I guess.
"Listen Sakura," I say, "I may be cold, stoic, silent and maybe a bit rude but I promise you, I'm not like your old boyfriends,"
She gasps slightly.
"Ino told me, that's why I've been acting nice," I quickly explain, "Just remember though, I may be all those things but I'm not a mean guy,"
Her eyes flick between the floor and me as she speaks, "I assumed you were just trying to impress me... I never knew you knew about my boyfriend problem... I-"
Her voice is drowned out as I look at her. Suddenly I can't help myself and I lean in and kiss her.
I can feel by her body she's shocked but quickly she relaxes and kisses me back.
"We're still not going out," She mutters as she breaks off.
But I don't care, because unlike last time at my flat; this kiss meant something.
Finally fate has given me a romantic scene to meet Sakura in then. Thanks fate, nice timing.