My Metaphorical and Literal Rollercoaster Life

Written by Ghostsammeo

Disclaimer: I do not own anything to do with Naruto (Or Universal Studios on that matter) and make no money from this story.

A/N Well, an update for a story probably nobody is reading. Well, for any of you who are reading this chapter, thank you and I hope you enjoy!

Summary: 'The Jurassic Park ride isn't the most romantic places to fall in love, but at least it will make a funny story'- Sasuke's life turns into some romantic comedy fanfiction when he gets a job at a Universal Studios.

Today will be a good today.

Today I man up.

Today I tell Sakura Haruno, my lovely, perfect, somewhat annoying girlfriend, that I am in love with her. It will be a good day.

In perhaps unusually high spirits, I shove my gear into my locker and leave the staff locker rooms, heading out to the stall I will be vending for the day (A basketball one which has been rigged so you can never actually win the massive teddy bear hanging over my delightfully spiked chicken butt head).

"Good morning, Sasuke," Suigetsu greets in-between his whistle, emerging behind me on the path.

"Hey Suigetsu," I nod, granted him with a smile as I fall back into step with him.

"So, Karin looked pretty pissed last night. You get her home okay?" He continues.

I shrug, "Eh, she got home alright, though she's fucking annoying when drunk."

Suigetsu laughed, "And she's not when she's sober?"

I smirk. I actually don't mind Karin, however. Especially not now, after she made me realise last night that I had to stop being such a baby and just tell Sakura about how I feel.

"What job you doing now?" Suigetsu asks, "I really can't get used to this new timetable Kabuto's given us."

Urgh, Kabuto. He is enemy number one right now in Sasuke Uchiha land. I don't know why Sakura ever even went out with him, but now he's back he's causing her a lot of grief. Intentional or not, I really do dislike that fella.

I go to answer but Ino jumps out from the bushes to the side of us, shouting something incoherent as she does so, making both me and Suigetsu jump.

She bursts into laughter at me and Suigetsu, slapping her knee in apparent euphoria.

"Oh, I got you! You two are so easy to scare!"

"What the heck was that for?" Suigetsu demands, hand on his heart, "You about killed me. And look, you made me drop my slush puppy."

Ino. She lives with Sakura. No time to waste then.

"Ino," I say through the girl's laughter, "Is Sakura here today?"

Ino stops laughing at the mention of her best friend, "Uh. Yeah, she's here Sasuke, though I don't think you really want to talk to her today."

I frown at Ino's stupidity.

"No it's fine, I've got something to tell her."

Ino scrunches her face, all traces of laughter gone now, "Yeah, Sasuke I really don't think you should see her today."

"Is she still upset?" Suigetsu questions, a new slush puppy somehow miraculously appearing in his hand.

"Not so much upset, more just totally out of it."

Out of it?

"What are you talking about Ino?" I demand.

Ino again pulls a face, "Sasuke, please. Just avoid Sakura today. Let her get her head straight."

I have no idea what Ino is talking about. Out of it? Head straight?

Shaking my own head, I push past the girl, now in even more of a pursuit of Sakura. Ino and Suigetsu, after sharing a look, follow after, the former constantly trying to make me end my search.

I find Sakura opening up the hotdog stall, the one under the shadow of a massive rollercoaster, in the east section of the park. Neji stands behind her, setting up inside. The second we see her, Ino tries to jump in front of me.

"Sasuke, no! Don't do this. I like you two together! Sakura really likes you! She's just an idiot!"

I go to swipe her out of my way, but desist when I actually listen to what she's saying.

"Are you saying… Sakura is planning on…" I can't get my words out. Ino looks at me sympathetically.

"No, Sasuke. She wasn't going to break up with you. She's just got it into her head that she needs a break from dating and stuff. It's that damn creep Kabuto's fault. Urgh he makes me sick the little-"

"Ino, it's okay."

She looks at me in confusion now, "Err, it is?"

"Yes, it's fine. She's not going to take a break with me. I'm going to tell her… that I love her."

Ino gapes into my face and Suigetsu drops his slush puppy for a second time. The couple watch me march off to the hotdog stand.

This is it. This is it! All this crappy drama, it' all gonna end now. I fell in love with a strange pink haired girl on the Jurassic Park ride and after being beaten up by thugs and mending others' broken relationships I am finally ready to tell her how I feel. I feel great. I feel free. I feel.

"Sasuke! I need to tell you something. We need to take a break."

I feel shit.

Sakura says it so simply. She doesn't even seem sad. She's so certain, so set on taking a break with me.

I am frozen in front of her, looking like a civilian who was just about to order a hotdog but got frozen in time somehow. Neji, behind Sakura's shoulder, glances at me with a mixture of pity and bemusement. She is just standing there behind the counter. It really does disturb me how she came out with it so quickly.

"Sasuke," Sakura says again, "Did you hear me? I've been thinking about it and it came as a sort of epiphany last night. I'm not breaking up with you it's just… I can't do all this dating stuff right now. That's all. I've got studies and work and… there's… well."

I am still frozen in my 'just about to order' stance. Oh my God. I can't even say it. I can't even say it now. I can't tell her I love her. And it's because I'm scared if I say it now it will have no effect. I want to say it when I know she will say it back. Right now? Dammit. Shit. Oh bugger.

"Sasuke!" Suigetsu reaches me and grips me on the shoulder, "Dude, you gotta go to your shift, it started ten minutes ago."

A lie, it starts in roughly two minutes time. He's just trying to get me out of there, probably fully aware that I am quite literally frozen solid in my place.

He glances up before beginning to guide me away from Sakura, who is bearing an unreadable emotion on her face, and a cringing Neji, who is pretending to cook the hotdogs without any knowledge of the event that had just occurred a metre away from him.

Sakura has broken up with me.

"Dude," Suigetsu says into my ear as he leads me away down the path, "Dude, you alright?"

I turn to him, eyes wide, "I… err. Yeah. Yeah I'm fine."

Suigetsu looks at me with concern, arm still around my shoulder, "Don't worry Sasuke. When Ino was going to break up with me you made sure she didn't. Now I'm gonna do the same with you. Sorta. Cuz it'll be different cuz Ino hadn't actually broken up with me yet while Sakura…" He trails off, realising what he was saying was really not helping.

Suigetsu sits me down on a nearby bench. Lots workers walk past, giving me concerned looks. Tenten goes to stop and ask but Suigetsu sends her on her way, thankfully knowing that I am not in the mood to talk.

One person, however, just doesn't care if I'm in the mood to talk. My brother.

"Sasuke?" I hear him say nearby. He then addresses Suigetsu, "What's the matter with him?"

Suigetsu cringes, "Erm. Sakura kinda just."

Itachi needs know more telling as I feel his weight sit down next to me. Sasori, who he was with, sits also.

"Hurry this up Itachi, we'll be late for opening the ride," the redhead says impatiently as he sits.

"Sasuke. How are you feeling?" Itachi asks.

I shrug. Because I actually don't know. Am I sad? Yes of course. But I have an overflowing feeling of an emotion I am yet to identify.

Itachi shuffles on the bench, thinking of what to say.

"I had a girlfriend once, Sasuke," he begins.

"Good for you," I mutter.

"Her name was Anko Mitarashi. A difficult woman, though very attractive."

"Oh I remember her," Sasori says happily, "She had boobs the si…" He pauses upon seeing my sad and Itachi's annoyed face.

Itachi turns from glaring at his friend back to me, "She was actually older than me. Eventually that was the reason she and I broke up. We just weren't made for each other."

He waits for me to look up at him before he speaks again.

"You and Sakura are two very different people. But I believe you were made for each other."

Suigetsu and Sasori nod at each other, "He's good," Sasori says to Suigetsu in regards to Itachi. Suigetsu speeds up his nodding in agreement.

"I'm just so…" I look for the word, "Angry!"

"Why?" Sasori asks.

"Because of Kabuto," Suigetsu fills in casually.

"No, it's just that…" I say but then falter.

Wait. Suigetsu's right. It is because of Kabuto. This is ALL because of Kabuto.

"Sasuke," Itachi begins, clearly seeing something in my face change at the mention of Kabuto, "He's your boss, you can't…"

I stand up quickly. That was my unidentified emotion. Anger.

"Come on Suigetsu," I say, heading back to the front of the park.

Suigetsu shrugs at Itachi and follows after me.

"Sasuke, what are you going to do?" My brother calls after me desperately.

I don't answer, simply marching forward down the path.

It is all very clear now. Very clear indeed.

I fly into the staff lockers, Temari is there with her brothers. She looks up as I and Suigetsu enter.

"Sasuke, where-"

I stick my hand up to silence her, "Where's Kabuto?"

Temari points forwards through the nearby door. Suigetsu shrugs at Temari as we stomp past.

The room I enter is normally a room for eating but Kabuto has turned it into his temporary office, paper flown across the table in the centre. And there the bastard is, sitting there, scribbling at a piece of paper. He looks up and smiles.

That fucking smile.

He stands, "Ah Sasuke, how-"

I interrupt him, "This is all your fault!"

He frowns, "I beg your-"

I reach back, fist clenched.

"Ohmygod," Suigetsu gasps. Temari, Kankuro and Gaara all are peering over my shoulder in shock.

Kabuto is on the floor, his nose bleeding.

I just punched my boss in the face.

Oh shit.

The next few hours, quite literally the second after Kabuto stands, goes by so fast I don't think I could even recall it if I wanted to. There's shouting, threats, people defending me and people accusing me, and them I am just home. Sitting on my bed. Alone in the house. It feels like I'm going to just be sitting there forever, running the past events of the day through my head, until I hear the door fly open.

"SASUKE!"

Naruto.

Stomping up the stairs, accompanied by Naruto's screaming, "SASSSSSSSUKKKKEEEE!"

He flies into the room. My eyes slowly draw upwards.

"SASUKE!"

He runs next to me to cover, like, a four foot gap, and jumps onto the bed next to me.

"Nobody's telling me what's going on! I was at the park looking for you! Why are you home?"

I draw a very deep, shaky breath.

"Sakura and I are taking a break."

Naruto's eyes widen, "Wha? Why? Why are you doing that?"

"I'm not doing anything, Naruto. It's her."

Naruto was still confused, "But why would she do that?"

"Ino says she's not in her right head right now. She's shaken by Kabuto or some rubbish."

Naruto literally growled, "That bastard! I'll kill him for ruining my BF's relationship!"

"I already tried," I explain.

He looks at me curiously, "You tried to kill Kabuto? Jesus Sasuke I was only kidding you know."

"No Naruto I was exaggerating because I thought you were!" I shout at him. He shrinks back as I calm, "I… I punched him in the face."

Naruto grins immediately, "Ah… ahehe, that's so cool. Did you make him bleed?"

I smirk despite myself, "Yeah."

Naruto laughs a bit more.

"So, but, why are you home?"

"I got sent home."

"Ah man. But you're not fired, right?"

"No, but I'm not going back to the park for a week or two."

"Wha? Why?"

I sigh, "Because…. I have to go to anger management."

Naruto gasps, "Isn't that what Hidan goes to?"

I nod slowly.

Naruto pulls a face, "Well. I'm sure it'll be…..fun?"

"COME ON SAS-GAY I'M NOT WAITING FOREVER!"

A car beeps loudly outside.

I am in my brother's house, by the door. Today is my first session of Anger Management classes. Hidan is taking me and is clearly rearing to get going.

"Okay, Sasuke," Itachi says next to me, "Just get this over with. Be thankful that Orochimaru sent you to this instead of firing you."

"I'm not sure which is worse," I mumble back.

"Sasuke," Pein says as I turn to leave, "For what it's worth. I did try to change Orochimaru's mind."

I nod appreciatively at the ginger haired man, before exiting out into the sunny street.

Hidan is in the red car parked directly in-front of the house, beeping still. He grins at me when he spots me. I sigh and clamber into the front seat. Oh boy.

"You ready Sasuke? This gonna be great having somebody with me! It was actually starting to get boring."

I give him a quizzical look, "It was ever fun?"

Hidan nods as he pulls the car out onto the road.

"Oh yeah, it was great the first week, but since then I've really needed a pal there with me."

I shake my head in confusion. I seriously have no idea what Hidan is on about.

So, the Anger Management course in the centre of the city, the metropolitan heart that I rarely come to. After Hidan swears a couple of times at the traffic (not sure this anger management has done much for him yet?) we eventually find a parking spot. The actual building sticks out like a sore thumb. Big and green and old, a large staircase leading up to the door. It looks so out of place next to the newly constructed mall it is next to.

Hidan gets out of the car, grinning, "Okay, come on Sasuke."

I sigh. Well, here goes nothing.

I follow him down the busy path but pause when he walks straight past the building.

"Err, Hidan. Isn't Anger Management in here?"

He pauses and looks at me, civilians walking past the both of us as we stand, sharing eye contact. "No."

I turn and point at the sign outside the green building, "Err… Yeah it kind of is."

Hidan marches up to me and looks at the sign for a second, before ripping it off the wall and throwing it into incoming traffic, resulting in many a beeping.

Speechless, I watch him stroll off into the mall.

I chase after him, upon entering the automatic doors seeing him push through the crowds towards the arcade section. Dear lord.

"Hey B," He nods at a tall dark skinned guy as he marches into the darkened zone and over to a shooting game.

No way.

I follow after him, peering over his shoulder as he pushes in a coin and starts the game.

"Come on Sasuke pick up a gun, I can't kill all these zombies myself!"

This is. Has he?

"Hidan," I begin slowly, "Have you been coming here every day? Instead of Anger Management?"

"This is anger management!" He yells as he shoots a virtual zombie's head off, "Gives me real satisfaction shooting the undead, you know?"

So, this is what I have in store for the next two weeks.

Shrugging I pick up the wired gun next to Hidan.

Hidan notices me and grins, "YES! Two player is always better!"

…What is my life?

So I have no idea if anybody is reading this but if you are tell me if you actually want an update because I got things to do and other Fanfiction to write. Anyway, thanks for stopping by. Oh and sorry for any mistakes, I didn't really proof-read properly.