Writer's Note: Hi babes! So sorry if the cuteness in this chapter isn't cute enough. I got broken up with so I'm not exactly in the most lovey-dovey mood currently. I tried. Love you love you love you all.

(Cred to user msleahbeah3236 for giving me the idea to make them talk about Cam.)

By the way-Gonna find a way to incorporate Owen/Tristan possibly. If you have any ideas for this story let me know. I'm writing this for you guys, not me. So, I wanna know what you want to read. Love you all so much.

(MILES)

Miles hadn't eaten. He had barely slept and his mouth tasted like cigarettes. Something he despised. Weed was alright. A good stress reliever, but cigarettes? They reminded him of his step mom Madeline. And that was exactly where he got the smokes.

They spotted one another at the hotel and initially gave each other dirty looks, but when they both started crying, they fell into each other. Miles wasn't sure why Madeline was crying. She didn't love Miles' father in the least. But maybe she still cared for him. After all, they were married. Not a real marriage, but...legally.

They didn't speak real words, only mumbled apologies for stupid things that happened. "I'm sorry for calling you a bitch" or "I'm sorry for kicking you" and after a while, Madeline held out a cigarette to end the conversation and loosen the tension. Miles initially pulled a disgusted look, but shrugged and decided he needed it. Maybe it was as relaxing as the commercials and ads made it out to be...

It wasn't. It tasted gross and made him want to puke, but he kept going, because much like life, you can't just throw something away because it makes you sick. That's what Miles did with his dad, and...look what happened. Miles wasn't afraid of a cigarette offing itself, but for some reason, he decided that he'd try harder. For everyone.

After the hospital, the drive home was silent. He got home to see Chewy and Maya together. He was happy that they were friends, but a little jealous that they were so close... Not that he was worried that either would betray his trust...It was just...weird.

They ate chinese food together then Miles took a shower. A long shower where he thought about everything.

His dad, Chewy, Maya, Zoe, his sister, his friends, his old dog that died, where his hamster went when he disappeared...Those kinds of things. People he was grateful to have as well as people that he'd die if he lost. They were mostly the same people. Though, it turned out, even if Miles wasn't grateful for his dad, losing him hurt like hell. He thought of everything and everyone.

At the end, he got out fresh and clean and less disturbed feeling. When he opened the door he found a Maya, who looked oh so cute in her little red pants and blue sweater with a white star on it... It was like The Fourth Of July or something very American. The encounter was fuzzy, but Miles remembered seducing his girlfriend before he fell asleep. God, he was a mess. He woke up in his cold bed... He thought he'd felt Maya sneak in to bed, but his guess was she left after a while..

Miles pulled himself out of bed and went into Maya's room. She was wide awake and doodling in a notebook. "What are you writing?" He startled the girl who was so into whatever was in the book.

Maya shut the book faster than Miles could end the sentence. "Maya...? What's in there?"

Maya tried to get Miles to forget about it, but Miles was determined. Turned out Maya was almost as determined as Miles was to keep the book out of Miles' hands, but Maya felt bad for Miles, so she gave in a bit easier than she usually would. All it took were puppy dog eyes and a few "pretty"s before please.

Miles took the notebook. It was a journal. About Cam. Everything about him. It seemed to have started right after Cam killed himself. Tears filled Miles' eyes and spilled onto the already tear-stained pages. It was everything that Maya felt every day since Cam died. They weren't romantic feelings, they were feelings of fear and anxiety and depression and anger and sadness and wonder and...the feelings were so similar to Miles' own it was almost creepy.

Miles looked over to his girlfriend who had her face in a pillow. She seemed to be crying. "Maya, it's okay..." Miles said in a low voice. Maya didn't look up, so Miles kept reading. Every page was a flurry of different emotions. Some pages were more filled than others. Some pages were dry and some were smudged. Some said Maya was 'okay' and feeling fine. But others admitted that she was drowning...wondering what she did wrong. Some pages she blamed herself, and some she ranted about how stupid Cam was. It was so unsteady and so...real.

After Miles was almost to the date that Miles and Maya started dating-Maya stopped him. "There's stuff about you. Personal things that I don't want you to know. My feelings." Maya grabbed the book and shut it. Now Miles was full of wonder. He scooted closer to the girl who now had tear streaks that were similar to his own. "Good or bad?"

"Good."

And then they kissed. For a long time. When they stopped, a question escaped Miles' lips.

"Do you still love Cam?"

Maya chewed on this question for what seemed like forever. She took her time, and Miles didn't mind. He played with her fingers while she thought of her emotions. Miles wouldn't be hurt if Maya still loved Cam. Miles still loved his father. He still loved every person in his life who had left.

"Yes." Maya finally said. "But not in a good way. It's not...it's not pretty. It's not romantic. It's not good love. I love him because he never gave me a chance to stop loving him. He was my first love and I never got a chance to even say goodbye."

Miles nodded, and let the room be silent for a while.

"Do you think you have space in your heart to love both of us? Cam and I...that is?" He didn't want to share his girl, but did he have a choice? He couldn't resurrect the guy. Maybe Maya's love would fade over time.

"I do." Maya said, wiping her eyes. "You know I do."