As a child, I despised those who abandoned their loved ones. The thought of leaving someone who loves and cares for you made me passionate about the subject. My mother abandoned me on my seventeenth birthday after my father passed away, and I promised myself that I would never do what she did to me. I promised that I would never be the reason for tears, heartbreak and desolation. I had stayed true to my promise for almost fifteen years, but now I understand the need for abandonment. It hurts less to run away from your problems than to kill yourself and fix them. To fix the dying love between Cesare and I would cause me more pain than it would if I were to run away with Ezio. He would never run away with me, however, and so the only precious moments I could spend with him would be in the dark, in the silent peak of the night.
My heart pounded in my chest as I looked at the clock in front of me. It was almost midnight and Cesare was still working in the corner of the room, writing and scratching things out. I tried to remain calm as I paced around the villa room that Rodrigo had assigned to us. We had arrived three hours earlier and everyone was finishing up their games for the day. The carriage ride went as expected, a dull six-hours I will never get back. I should have been sleeping from such an exhausting trip, but my mind danced with the words in Ezio's note.
"Dearest, it's almost midnight. Don't you think you should sleep?" I asked.
He looked up from his papers and glared at me as if he didn't realize I had been awake, even though I was pacing around the room for half an hour.
"Shouldn't you be asleep?"
"I cannot sleep until I know you are here with me."
"Why the sudden interest in my sleeping patterns?"
"I feel strange in this house, I need the comfort of something familiar..." I said as I walked towards him.
He extended his hand out for mine and I gave him it. He maneuvered me around the desk and placed me on his lap. My attention quickly averted to the pages on his desk- they were of pictures and maps with red arrows and in some areas of the map circles had been drawn in an angry hand.
"My dear, how can I make this place feel more familiar to you?"
My heart stopped pounding, instead, I was almost certain I heard nothing. I only realized the mess I had caused myself and I did not know how to solve the problem. His voice, and the way his eyes sparkled at me in that hungry way only told me that I was soon to be the prey for his gruesome appetite.
I jumped out of his lap and my knee hit against his desk. I clumsily fell to the ground at his feet and cried in pain.
"Louise, are you alright? Mio dio, have you gone mad?"
He kneeled to help me up but I pushed him back. I got up and ran to the front door. Before I could grab the door handle I felt Cesare's hand on my shoulder.
"Where are you going?"
"Away from you! You ask if I am all right but you do not care, you only wish to please yourself. I will not be taken advantage of any longer!"
"You speak nonsense, Louise. You and I both know who is being taken advantage of here; throughout this entire relationship it has been obvious. You live the life of luxury and the only pay you are required to give me is your love, which you do so doubtfully."
I stared at him and realized he was right. With no words of refusal, I did what seemed easiest at the moment: I left the room and shut the door behind me. My brisk walk turned into a quick paced walk, which turned into running. I held the front of my dress and ran through the dark halls that were only lit by the full moon outside. This villa was smaller and so it took less time to be out of the house and into the garden. I would have left the area entirely if it were not for the guards who stood beside the gates.
I walked slowly through the garden as I caught my breath. I waited for an hour in the garden and I gave up hope. I thought of apologies that would make my abrupt exit more understandable in Cesare's eyes, but every time I rehearsed an apology I could only imagine his black eyes piercing through my skin.
"What are you doing out here?" said a voice, which made me jump in fear.
I turned around and was greeted by the man in the white hood. He stood a few feet away from me and from the corner of his sleeve I couldn't help but notice a stain of freshly wet blood.
"Waiting for someone, but he never came," I answered with a smile.
"How rude of him, but I am sure he has a good explanation."
"I am quite sure he does, but I don't care about the explanation as of now."
"That's unfortunate, I was hoping I could get an explanation on why Cesare killed one of his own guards..." and with that, a smile formed on his face.
"It's a long story."
"I would love to hear of your story, perhaps we can go somewhere quiet and you can tell me all about Cesare and his plans."
I was slightly disappointed on hearing this, but nonetheless I agreed and he took me across the gates-which were no longer occupied by guards- and we spoke until dawn. After I told him of the maps, of my quarrel and of my time spent in the garden I began to yawn and feel tired. I rested my head on his shoulder and he took my hand until I could no longer focus on reality, and fell into a happy sleep, but somewhere deep down, Cesare's stern yet upset face circled in my heads and in my dreams.