Chapter V~ Trying to Know the one you Love

Disclaimer~ I do not own Hetalia.

((Warning~ Smut and pleasedontreadthisbecauseitsembarrassing. Thanks~!))

~December 1913, Hungary's World Conference Flashback~

"Roma~ why do you look so sad, mi querido?" Antonio cooed, as he pinned both my hands above my head, intertwining our fingers in the process so delicately. Fuck, and we're both in our tuxedos too. I swear if he ruins my suit, I will ruin him! And he refused to drop the topic, becoming more frustrated with each and every answer I filled with denial and regret. Antonio gazed down at me with those dark green feverish eyes. When had they changed? "What happened?"

"Nothing." I lied, a reply that Antonio was not satisfied with. He furrowed his eyebrows deeper and wore a conflicted expression. It was obvious he could pinpoint every slight difference when it came to his. He knew it was not just, 'nothing'. His teeth clenched tight. And suddenly, I felt his grip tighten on me. As soon as his frustration came, it quickly dissolved into an expression of blissful serenity. How the fuck was he able to change that fast was beyond me.

"Alright Roma..." He pressed a loving kiss at the side of me jaw. I flinched and moved my head back. I bit my lip ferociously and just knew a fierce blush spread like wildfire across my cheeks. Antonio moved closer, closing the distance between us. "But remember, you can tell me anything mi amor~" Another heated kiss planted at my neck. Then, another and another and another... "Am I clear?" At one point, I lost my sense on reality and didn't notice when he started planting the same long kisses at the junction between my shoulders and neck together. Soon, those kisses sucked, teased, licked, nimbled, then just downright bit my weak spot. I clenched at his shirt and shuddered in delight.

"S-spain...nnngh... you leave a fucking mark and n-next time I'll leave your fucking ass." I glared, telling a lie that I knew would break him. Was I fucking panting just now? ...

Okay, screw this... I'm out!

"Hm?" Still nibbling on that one s-sensitive spot, he moaned. Once he broke away, my hand shot up to cover the bruised mark. Dammit! "Mi querido, now will you mind telling me why you are not happy? " Too close... now he was too close to my face. I looked into his eyes, frightened. I could've sworn I've seen lust, hunger, and desire in those emerald orbs. Why? Why did they flicker on and off like a switch? Those beautiful eyes could easily change from pure innocence and compassion to that sadistically dark consuming eyes. Wow, I should write fucking poetry!

"I-I uh... can't say." If I did, I knew I'd be in deep trouble. Spain sighed tiredly, letting go both my hands to ruffle my hair and to tilt my chin up diagonally, his hand gently caressing my neck before moving in so close I could feel his breath on my ear whispering. "Are you sure about that, mi tesoro?" He hotly whispered before letting his graze teasingly up my neck and nibbled on my ear,waiting for an answer. Why did he have to be the country of passion? Somehow his hands made its way under the hem of my shirt. Oh, now I see what the fucker is trying to do.

"Y-yes." Like magic, did he pull back immediately, and gave me a look of disbelief and confusion. I couldn't tell him, how could I tell him I still didn't believe him when he said he loved me more than my brother. It's his fault anyway for being so damn affectionate all the time. Fuck... I need to consult with someone other than Antonio and Feliciano. Who else can I call?

"Spain and the South half of Italy, where ever you two wankers are, you need to get your arses back to the conference that is starting now!" The intercom screamed in a displeased, impatiently cranky British accent. One that I knew Antonio despised so much. He let out a low growl and had some sort of glare which frightened me a little. Instantaneously, the mood was gone.

"Britain! This is my house, not yours! Many apologies but Spain, Romano, you are the only two not present at the conference. Come immediately. Thank you sweeties." Hungary announced. A blush -undoubtedly- crawled its way to my cheeks.

"W-we should go." I squeaked, out of the Spaniard's embrace. I can't believe I'm going to the conference all hot and messy.

"Ah, yeah we should Lovi~!" He rubbed the back of his neck, in slight embarrassment. There was a tortuously disappointing atmosphere that reeked of desperation. Damn it...

A second later, our lips smashed together and he pushed me against the wall. I tried my hardest to put up a fight. We had a fucking conference to attend and if we delayed any longer, they'd... assume that we...whatever! But is it really a fight when you're up against Spain? If I were to be honest, I wouldn't remember much about this later, so let me fill you in as much as possible.

He...

Yes, he... Antonio completely took over, I don't even have an explanation of how. The soft sloppy kisses changed into a much rougher and ragged kind. His hand sliding down to rest on the small of my back. moving sensually and suddenly. At one point, he gave more of those love bites which he refused to call them hickeys. He tugged on my collar and broken some of the top button of my white shirt. Dammit, I tried to protest but he mustve acted more rash in response.

"Nnngh...n-no more.. S-spain...stop!" I squeaked out to no prevail. He forced a knee between my own two legs separating them, just right below my you know what. And pushed our bodies together, crashing as we grinded our hips together repeatedly as I tangled my fingers in his dark brown curls, grabbed them. Then, he just downright bit one lovebite so hard I cried. "Ah, ow!" Quickly enough, did he replace those sadistic love bites to apologetic kisses on my neck once he realized he was actually hurting me. Why? He challenged one more heated kiss before pulling away once more.

"What?" I growled, breathing erratically. He smiled sweetly before giving a chaste kiss on my cheek.

"Roma, we have a meeting to attend." Damn, I hated that excuse. I broke eye contact as the distance between us furthered.

"But... after the meeting, when we get home." I perked up at the word, 'home.' Knowingly it was Spain's house. "Do you know I'll do then?"

I gulped, "What?"

"I'm going to carry you up the stairs to our bedroom and..." His green eyes darkened simultaneously, "...pound you so hard, even the neighbors could hear you scream my name." So seductively. I blushed. Fuck, how am I supposed to attend the meeting like this! I can't speak. Oh fuck, I can't even stutter a word out! "Okay Lovi~?" He asked. Of course he asked! He always asked for my permission first. He says that he does only because he wants to make sure the feeling's mutual, but if you ask me its because he just loves seeing me stutter and blush even more than I am right now. Fucking sadist.

I nodded as he held my hand with a tight grip, smiling down on me. We silently walked towards the conference room. Once again, Spain perplexed me. How could he change the aura that quickly, that effortlessly and still come off looking like the innocent child he is? I'm starting to wonder about his past yet. Wait... how is it I've known this man my entire life and I didn't know his history. And by history I don't just mean sexual history, I mean Spanish history in general! Or why he hated certain countries that shall remain nameless due to reasons. Oh fuck it, we all know Spain hates England, Netherlands, and possibly his brother Portugal. I'm not so sure, since they never talk anymore so I assume their history is bad. Ha! I said all the countries that Spain prohibited me to say! Aw man this is awesome, I said it! (In my head.) Fuck.

What is it your trying to tell me? Stop being a wuss and just ask him? Well let me tell you, I ALREADY TRIED (and failed). I've asked Antonio about this countless times and each time, he refuses to give me a satisfactory answer. So, instead he'll...distract me in any way possible. And damn, it works. Antonio's a manipulative bastard, that's why. You just don't know it yet. Of course, the question always ends up resurfacing and I only get more and more anxious and curious about the idea that Antonio's trying to hide something from me. FROM ME...! His...his...l-lover.

…

Let's erase that moment out of mind and move on, shall we? Damn... what should I do? I mean this is obviously a problem, it's like a relationship built up on lies, Spain doesn't trust me! Dammit, maybe I should ask someone about this. Someone experienced... Only three people come in mind when I say experienced:

France: But that fuckface is going no where near me! The day he grabs my ass is the day he dies!...In the hands of Spain because I can't fight when he's still groping my ass. Fucking pervert.

Hungary: OUT! No crazy psycho bitch is helping me. You'd have to have lost your sanity before letting this yaoi-loving bitch give you advice on a homosexual relationship. And we all know if I left her in charge, I'll end up having sex and with no answers, a complete failure there.

And last but not least...

Italy: The chances of me asking my own brother for advice is slim to none. The only reason I'd ever consider doing so, is because his relationships lasts so damn long and happy and well. Hell, I wonder when he'll realizes that potato bastard looks exactly like Holy Rome. Nah, I'll just be evil and never bring it up ever again. The idea that my brother is dating that macho potato still amazes me. IN A FUCKING BAD WAY. Self-explanatory? I hope so, because I'm not fucking explaining it again.

… Now what was I supposed to do?

Ugh... now I really wish I was a more likable country. Maybe then, I'd have actual friends to talk to about this.

~.Oo0oO.~

After the fucking crazy conference, I was ready to fall face first onto the stone pavement once I took a step outside Hungary's mansion. After three long, hard, painful hours we accomplished nothing.

Nothing at all.

I don't even think anyone agreed on helping to solve the world's problems. What we did agree on was what to have for dinner afterwards. What the fuck?! Okay, whoever the fuck decided the personifications of the countries should work together to solve the world's economy, global warming, world hunger, etc. Must be a real fucking idiot. I can barely figure out Algebra, let alone solve fucking global warming. America can figure out how to fix that, because I'm out! Speaking of America... why is he walking towards me? Oh no, he's approaching me. Flee Lovino! I should turn and run now. And that's just what I did before he grabbed my shoulder and forcibly made me face him. How did I get captured so easily?

"Dude! Why are you running? I need to spread the news." He said grinning widely.

"I-I'm not fucking running! What news?!" I retorted.

"The next World Conference is scheduled at Britain's place this time! So, no need to ride a plane this time. Spread the news!"

"W-wait, why at his house?" I wondered since Antonio will most-likely throw a huge tantrum protesting going to said meeting like last time. Concerned, that he will most-likely convince me to stay and face the tortuous consequences afterwards. I might as well ask.

"Because I'm staying at his house that weekend, no wait month. And I don't want to go all the way back to New York to prepare a Conference. So, Arty said he could host the next one for everyone else's convenience!" Well...this is a problem and definitely not to my convenience. It's too bad this came out of my mouth:

"You can do that?" In awe, I tell you. In disbelieving awe and inspiration.

"Yeah! Just ask your boss, dude. I'm sure he'll be fine with moving the conference location!" America chimed.

"No. No. No, I meant you can stay over at Britain's house?" Why can't I stay at Spain's? "Why? How?!"

America laughed, "Why not? There's no rule against it." Oh, that's true. But then, why don't I stay over at Spain's? Surely, there must be a reason since I havent thought of it till now. Wait, why is the fucker smirking? America seemed to be amused now.

"Oh don't tell me you don't live with...with...hm..." And then he stood there pondering over his name. After a ridiculous amount of time passed, I decided to butt in.

"Spain! His name his Spain! And in case you've forgotten he's the one who fucking founded the New World first!"

"No. He didn't find me first. Arty did."

"No, I'm pretty damn sure Antonio did. Remember? Year 1492? When Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue." Christopher Columbus was Italian btw, hopefully I crammed some history in your mind by now.

"Oh! Was he the conquistador who killed the Aztec and Mayan empires-?" He paused once he saw the outraged disbelief written on my face.

"Killed? Spain wouldn't even hurt a tomato plant!" I yelled.

"Oh...man... Romano, is it? Yeah I agree, he has changed. Apparently, he like a completely different person now. I forgot you were under his care. Guess he never told you, hmm makes sense..." America seemed to mutter to himself, which only raged me more.

"HEY! Stop talking to yourself! What the fuck are you talking about? Never told me what!?" I screamed, only growing more and more frustrated. How the hell does America know and I don't? Dude thinks hamburger's are the cure for everything!

"He never told you..." He laughed. "I use to be the same centuries ago. You should ask him, dude."

"I did! He won't tell me!" I bet I sound like a child now.

"Then, find out for yourself. I can't tell you since I was just a toddler back then. Ask someone who was there back then. Oh I know! You should go ask Arty!"

"What?" I asked.

"He'll tell you. He was there back then, or you could ask Netherlands or France. They were there too." He offered.

No and hell no. I bit my lip. Oh damn it, if Spain ever finds out, I don't know what'd I'd do. But if I don't, I'll never find out. Besides America seems to be right, for once. I mean, he must be doing something right all this time. He's happily in a relationship with that grouchy Eyebrows and he knows everything about his past. And this is coming from a guy who went to war with Eyebrows and still ended up practically married to him!

"I don't think-" I started out, before I was rudely interrupted.

"I could take you to him. Maybe somewhere private?" America offered, astonished by his generosity, I decided he would take it.

I sighed, there's no way Spain can find out,"Yeah. Okay let's go."

Even though there was an alarming warning in the back of my mind that told me to turn back now.

Hnnn... no.

((A/N~ I am so sorry. I'm such a newbie at writing fluff or smut or whatever that was in the beginning. Constructional Criticism is encouraged. I need a Beta for this kinda stuff. Lots of Love, Update later~! Bai~!))