Chapter Five-

As soon as the Victory was docked, Marine Tech crews scrambled on board like ants, ready to bring the ship back to working condition. Mike laid a hand on Nikki's shoulder.

"NAVCOM want to speak to Kate. I've told them she's unwell, and they've asked for you instead. Has she come out yet?" Asked Mike. Nikki started to shake her head, and then moved to the bridge of the Victory.

"She's on the dock, getting into a taxi. I didn't even hear her door go!" Exclaimed Nikki.

"Leave it. She'll come and talk to us eventually," said Mike. He watched as Pincher brought the Hammersley in, and his crew disembarked from the ship.

"Bird's gone to hospital with the four patients, and she'll hand in her reports later. Slinger went with her." Nikki sighed, exhausted. They hadn't even gotten out of Australian waters when everything had happened, and it frustrated her to no end.

"I've got to head to NAVCOM. Marine Tech are supervising the ship, and I'll come back later to check on them. Can you find out what's going on with Kate?" Begged Nikki. Mike nodded.

"I'll do my best Nik, I promise." Nikki watched as Mike left, and walked down to her cabin. She pulled on her white dress uniform, and set her hat on her head. She wanted to get her appointment at NAVCOM over and finished so she could get to Kate.

She hoped her best friend was okay…

Kate lay on her bed in her room, her thoughts a mess. She didn't even bother changing out of her uniform, and she didn't close the front door when she came in the house. She just peeled off her jacket and fell back on the bed.

She didn't care anymore.

"Where did I go wrong?" She asked herself. She wished she knew the answer. Unfortunately though, she didn't. She'd lost her baby, then Mike, Dutchy, and had somehow ended up sleeping with Buffer. She needed to get her head straight. She looked at the sleeping tablets in the small bottle next to her bed; her doctor had prescribed them after she'd explained she wasn't sleeping well.

It would be so easy to escape her ridiculously difficult life by swallowing the entire bottle. She didn't want to wake up into her living nightmare.

Sure. She could tell Nikki what was going on, but she'd just tell her to chin up; it would all get better. She'd lost a baby, a husband had divorced her, her fiancé left her, and she'd stupidly slept with her best friend.

She sat up, and picked up the bottle of pills, holding it in her hand, contemplating.

She'd self-harmed a little since losing the baby and Mike, and a little more after Dutchy had left her. She'd questioned herself, wondering if it was her that wasn't worthy for someone else in her life.

Wondering if she was the problem.

It would be so easy to end it all now. To no longer have to care.

She loved Mike with all her heart, and he smashed it into a thousand pieces; the heart that was already aching with the loss of a child. Between Nikki and Dutchy, Kate had glued all the pieces together. It still hurt though. She thought she'd make it through with Dutchy by her side, and then he'd told her he couldn't be with her.

Maybe she was the one that wasn't worth it.

She tipped back the bottle, and the little pills fell down quickly.

She swallowed.

Kate set the empty bottle back on her bedside table, and scrambled through her drawers for the journal and pen she kept there…

Dear Journal.

It wasn't easy. I always loved Mike, but after what happened between us, I could never see a reconciliation in our future. We could be naval friends, but never the way we were. He was the one; then he wasn't. Sometimes I find myself missing him.

Dylan was perfect. Dylan had this caring attitude. Granted, sometimes he was a little overbearing and believed he was always right, but he always cared. Even when he ended our engagement and relationship, he was doing it for me, not for himself.

And poor Pete. I can't believe how much I hurt Pete this morning. I never meant for things to go that far, but they did, and my quick departure didn't help. I wish I could say sorry.

And here's where things en…

Buffer watched as Mike left the Victory, and glanced around. Buff had seen Kate leave himself, and he was intent on finding her. He had to make things right with her, especially after the morning had gone so horribly wrong.

"Sir! What are you looking for?" Asked Buffer as he made his way to the dock.

"I'm just deciding whether it's worth getting my car and heading to Lieutenant-Commander McGregor's house, make sure she's okay. Nav is concerned about her." Buff nodded.

"My car is parked closer; do you mind if I come with you? I owe Kate a bit of an apology for something that happened last night," said Buffer, his face reddening a little. Mike noticed, but didn't comment.

"We can take your car. Let's go."

Leo met Rebecca at the dock, and embraced her tightly.

"Leo? Why did you guys come back so quickly? What's going on?" She asked, allowing him to kiss her on the forehead. At almost fourteen weeks along, Bec was glowing, and Leo loved her all the more. She was perfect.

"There was a bit of fight on the dock with me and Spider this morning. I found out that he and Emily are dating. How was I supposed to know? I attacked him, and…" He trailed off as he realised how ridiculous the whole fight had been. Emily didn't tell him, but that didn't give him a right to beat the crap out of Billy. Bec half-smiled.

"You've just realised how much of an idiot you are, haven't you?" She asked. He nodded.

"It's my fault Spider's been taken to hospital. They think he might have a bleed in the brain. And Emily was taken to hospital because she was electrocuted. Dutchy and Noble were involved in a fire." Leo realised how much of a stressful day it had been so far, and was grateful that NAVCOM had allowed them some extra shore leave. He pulled Rebecca close again.

"Can we go to the hospital, be there when Spider wakes up? I really think I need to apologise to him," he said remorsefully. Bec nodded.

"Of course. I want to see him as well, find out about him and this Emily. You know I haven't met your sister yet?" She remarked as they headed off the dock.

"Really? Well, she's nothing like me. She got all the smart genes, whereas I got all the handsome ones," he replied, a cheeky grin appearing on his face. Rebecca shoved him playfully.

"2Dads!"

The first thing Mike noticed when they pulled up at Kate's house was that her front door was wide open. She'd always been a stickler for making sure that their front door was firmly closed, making him go and check before they went to sleep each night.

"Buff, something's not right here," said Mike quietly.

"What do you mean sir?" Asked Pete.

"Kate never leaves the front door open," replied Mike. Buffer moved forward carefully, pushing the front door open carefully.

"Nothing looks out of place sir," called Buffer. Mike stepped inside the front door.

"Kate? Kate, are you here?" Mike asked. Buffer stayed behind him.

"Her bags are on the floor; she's here," said Buffer.

Kate never left her bags on the floor.

"Kate? Kate, where are you?" Called Mike, the knot of fear growing in his stomach.

Something was terribly wrong.

"Check upstairs. I'll check her bedroom first; maybe she's resting," said Mike, making a decision for both of them. Mike led the way, knowing the layout of Kate's house better than Pete. They split off when they reached Kate's room, Mike knocking on the door, Buffer going to check the two other guest rooms.

"Kate, it's Mike. I just want to check on you; are you okay?" Asked Mike through the door. He heard a crashing noise from the bedroom. He pushed open the door, and found Kate on the floor, convulsing violently, vomit covering her hair and face.

"Buffer! Pete! Call an ambulance!" Yelled Mike, dropping to his knees. Buffer returned, phone in hand, on the line to the emergency service.

"An ambulance is on the way now sir," said Buffer, his concern mirrored in Mike's eyes. Mike turned his gaze to the blonde woman on the floor in front of him, and noticed the scars up her arms. He sighed, tears welling in his eyes.

He knew they had to be because of him…

"Oh Kate. What have you done?"