Chapter Five - Getting His Goat

Face had never been to a zoo before. When Murdock found out this little tidbit of knowledge he mercilessly begged Hannibal for a zoo trip until the older man had caved. It was to the point where they were either going to the closest animal park, or Murdock was going into the ocean.

B.A. had even offered to craft the pilot his very own pair of cement shoes to help him walk around underwater.

Picking up a brightly-colored map at the ticket counter, Murdock grabbed Face's elbow before dragging him off in the direction of the reptile house. Hannibal was unsure if either of them had heard his admonishments to behave, but it didn't matter. Even if they had, they never followed that particular order.

And he doubted they would start today.

"Whoa… look at this guy!" Face had his nose practically pressed against the thick glass as the huge boa constrictor slithered higher into his tree. "I'd hate to meet this fucker in the wild."

Murdock hissed before slapping a hand over his buddy's mouth. He smiled apologetically at the mother beside them, who was struggling to keep her two young children together. She immediately gave the two men a wary look and pulled her excited kids away. "Watch the language, Facey. This is supposed to be a kid-friendly place… well, at least until you get to the monkey cages."

Temp pulled the hand away from his mouth. "Sorry. Not used to kid-friendly areas, I guess."

Slinging an arm around the taller guy's shoulder, James smiled. "Well that's what we're here for, compadre! Let's see what's next on the tour, shall we?"

The two friends spent most of the morning in good spirits as they visited tons of animals that they had never heard of, much less seen. Everything was going great until they got to the petting zoo, however. Murdock had purchased a handful of feed and he and Face were bent over, attempting to feed the rabbits, when a goat came up and stole the pilot's red cap directly from his head.

"What the…?!" Murdock jerked around and tried to snatch his hat back, but the goat was obviously proud of his recent acquisition and wasn't about to willingly let go of his prize. Templeton had even tried to distract the animal with food, to no avail.

Hannibal and B.A. were making their own way across the zoo when they noticed a disturbance in the area of the petting zoo. Curiosity and dread showed on their faces as they went to investigate. Security guards had already subdued Face, and were now attempting to pull Murdock off of the back of a goat that was being held in a headlock by the angry pilot.

The goat tried to buck the unwelcome addition off, but James continued to straddle the animal. And from the way the spectators had the ears of their young covered, the man must have been cursing heavily.

Bosco groaned. "What did I tell you, Hannibal? You just can't take these fools anyplace. Didn't you learn nothin' from the time we were banned from that Denny's in Cleveland?"

Hannibal stared at Face, who was arguing vehemently with one of the guards as they got close enough to hear what was being said.

"I don't care what you say… that bastard started it! We weren't doing anything we weren't supposed to when he came in and stole my friend's hat!"

"It's a goat, sir," the guard said with a sigh, as if he'd already been through this a million times and was questioning himself on why he didn't become an accountant like his mother had wanted. "He doesn't know what he's doing."

Temp glared at the culprit as H.M. finally succeeded in recovering his lost possession. "Oh he knows!"

"Ha! Take that, motherfucker! Me - 1, goat - big fat zero!" Murdock jumped away from the animal and proceeded to dance around it in victory. He ignored the remaining guard who'd probably never had to deal with a problem of this magnitude in his entire career.

B.A. shook his head in disgust before strolling over to the wildly gyrating captain and picked him up. The security guards seemed thankful for the help and wasted no time informing them that they were no longer welcome in the zoo. Hannibal simply glared at his lieutenant and pointed in the direction of the exits.

Face obligingly stood and slunk off toward their van, but not before flipping the animal off who had reportedly caused all the trouble. Said goat was unaffected by the gesture, and the altercation, choosing to beg the remaining patrons for handouts.

Hannibal shook his head and left with the others. The next time Murdock pleaded for one of these trips, the pilot was definitely going into the ocean instead.

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