So sorry for slow updates! And so sorry for the thing that'll happen later on between Jane and Julio. I was just so inspired by Effy and Freddie on Skins (Freddie is played by the same guy who originally inspired me to write Julio) that I had to write some of that kind of romance. Thanks for reading!

What lies behind appearance is usually another appearance.
-Mason Cooley

Chapter 17
August 1st 1498

"How is she?"

Jane's voice was one of worry, raspy from worry and after having run down the halls of the Vatican, through the streets to the monastery that was placed in the outskirts of Rome.

The nun smiled, washing blood off her hands in a bucket of water that she had just pulled out of the well in the middle of the courtyard. "She is doing fine. Her mother is beside her and the rest of her family waits just outside the room."

Jane nodded. "Take me to them."

The middle-aged woman who was one of the caretakers of Lucrezia led Jane through the darkened halls willingly until they entered a hall that was larger than the average rooms of the monasteries. Several tables and benches had been lined up, making it obvious that it was the dining hall. Right now, it was empty aside from but a handful of members of the Papal family.

Jane's eyes first fell on Sancha. She was sat between her husband and Juan, wearing a pale yellow dress that brought out her dark beauty. Beside Juan sat Cesare and beside him, the Pope himself. Giulia sat across from him, looking as anxious as if it had been her sister behind the door through which the nun now passed. The moment that Jane walked in, Giulia's eyes were on her, full of thankfulness.

"Giovanna." Giulia stood to make place for Jane beside her. The others merely nodded, too nervous to speak. Jane crumbled a bit under Rodrigo's gaze; ever since the cathedral fell together and she told him her story, their relationship had not been the same. Not talking about it had eased it a bit, though.

"How long?" Jane sat down beside Giulia, who quickly took her hand. It was as if the frail thin woman had suddenly received vampire powers; Jane's hand was almost crushed.

Cesare cleared his throat. "It has been hours, but they say that it won't take much longer."

Jane nodded, feeling a bit nauseous from the stress. She wondered how simple humans could stomach this.

Suddenly, a scream cut through the air. Some around the table flinched, tensed or closed their eyes even if they all knew what would follow this pain. The scream did not sound like Lucrezia; it was coarse and desperate, so close to giving up but yet the hope of happiness to come was too great to let go.

Jane heard through the walls what the others could not hear; the tiny voice repeating, "I can't. I can't" and the voice that followed, telling Lucrezia that she could.

The second time Lucrezia's scream was heard, Cesare stood up and began pacing the room. "How long yet?" he asked the first nun that exited; she brought with her once white cloths to wash which did nothing to calm the family's nerves.

"Not long."

Lucrezia screamed again, this time louder than before. "How long?" Cesare asked again. The nun just sighed and looked at him sympathetically. "Can I not go in there? I wish to be with her."

The nun shook her head. "That would only cause to stress her further."

"Cesare." Cesare turned to his father. "It would be inappropriate, and you know it. Sit."

Once more, Lucrezia's screams filled the air. Cesare seemed unable to move, and so did most else. "Does it always hurt that much?" Gioffre asked.

Sancha smiled at her much younger husband. "It is but a small price to pay for a gift as grand as a child."

"I would not have you go through such pain." The defensive tone in the young voice was almost humorous and a smile grazed the wife's lips.

"You would have to, so that I could grant you a son and an heir."

Their discussion was put to an end by another nerve-wrecking scream. Then, there was silence, which was broken seconds later – this time by a scream that did not come from Lucrezia. It was not the scream of a woman, but of a new life just born.

The eyes of the people waiting flickered to meet each other's gazes, the smile in their eyes slowly spreading to their lips. There was the sound of sighs of relief and gasps of surprise that it was finally over as the realization dawned upon them.

Yet another few minutes went past before a nun finally opened the doors. "She is ready to see you."

The nun quickly left, followed by another one; they were both carrying away bloody sheets. Most of the family did not notice, though; they rushed to the door, impatient to see the sun of the family and her newborn child.

Vanozza dei Cattanei kneeled beside the bed, loving eyes watching her daughter laid eyes upon the one person she would cherish above all others for the first time.

Lucrezia lay in the bed, pillow upon pillow behind her, supporting her so that she could sit upright. She was all but trembling from exhaustion and dark shadows beneath her eyes bore witness to what she had just gone through, but a smiled on her lips washed all of that away. The look of pure happiness on the woman's face made Jane think that someone had erased the past many years.

Lucrezia looked up. "Is he not beautiful?" Her voice somehow resembled the playful one that Jane had heard many years ago.

Cesare was the first to break out of the group, striding to sit across from their mother. He brushed some sweaty strands of hair out of her face, smiling brightly. "It's a boy."

Lucrezia looked at him, then nodded. Her eyes were glazed over with tears and happiness and something that would've been scary had it not been in this moment.

"We will give you some time," Giulia whispered to the Pope. He nodded appreciatively before striding across the floor to his daughter. Giulia grabbed Jane's arm and pulled her out of the room. "We will see to her later. Now she needs but her closest family."

Jane didn't object. She glanced at the new mother who nodded, smiling slightly before turning to her family again.

"She seems happy." Jane watched as Giulia closed the door carefully.

Giulia smiled. "As any woman would be, if she were to be granted such a gift from the Heavens."

Jane frowned at her words. "Whatever do you mean?"

Giulia looked at Jane, her eyes narrowing. "You do not wish for a child?"

"Yes…" Jane walked slowly towards her friend. "It was more… You do know that you can trust me?" Giulia swallowed and nodded. "You seem troubled."

Giulia shook her head, looking to the floor. "I am not."

"About children," Jane mused. She stepped forward once more to touch Giulia's shoulder. "Tell me."

"I want to, but…" Giulia's voice was hoarse. "I cannot, in fear that God may hear me and decide to make my fears real."

Jane furrowed. "He would never."

Suddenly, Giulia's eyes clenched shut and she grabbed Jane's shoulder. Her knees buckled and Jane became all that was holding her up. Jane put her hands on her waist, balancing her. "You have lost weight."

"I had gained some." Giulia looked away, steadying herself and then turned away fully. She began walking towards a table where she sat down.

Jane followed her, sitting down beside her. "I fear it has been too long since we last spoke." Jane attempted to catch her eyes but failed.

Giulia suddenly straightened herself, still not facing Jane. "The Pope begins to desire more. He wishes a son." She paused, bracing herself. "I attempt to distract him from… the waiting."

"You mean…" Jane leaned towards her friend, but it was too late; Giulia had already risen from her seat and crossed the floor. A nun was almost knocked over as she was passed by. The next second, Giulia was gone.

The nun stood there, look after Giulia as she disappeared down the hall. Jane slowly rose from her seat. "Are you Giovanna?" the nun asked, her voice in a high pitch.

"I am."

"There is a man outside asking for you. He calls himself Julio."

Jane sighed a bit; not that she was annoyed or tired. She was confused. She didn't answer the nun, just followed silently as she led the way. Outside Julio stood, wearing travelling clothes and a bag over his shoulder. He'd just arrived from Florence where he'd spent his time rebuilding Alec's shop and he came to her right away. In a way, she was happy, yet a part of her still wished that he had shown her less love.

"You are back," she simply stated.

Julio walked to her, wrapping her in his arms. "You have been missed."

Jane thought it amazing that, even as a vampire when all traces of your former self had been erased, still a special smell lingered to you. Julio still smelled like a human, like the human he had been before. Jane supposed she was the exception that proved the rule; her last trace of humanity had been washed away by the ocean of time. "As you have."

Jane's hands wrapped around Julio's neck, bringing him down for a kiss. Once she pulled away, her eyes clenched shut.

"Are you alright?" Julio pushed some hair out of her face. "I could not find you in the city so I supposed I could find you here. Is she giving birth?"

Jane had told Julio about Lucrezia's pregnancy through their letters. "Already has."

"And you are not with her?" He sounded surprised.

Jane shook her head. "I wanted to give her some time with her family first."

Julio nodded in understanding. "I have missed you."

He leaned down to kiss her once more, but Jane backed away a bit. "Can I talk to you? In private?"

"Yes, of course."

Jane nodded, leading him to a secluded area of the courtyard. They sat down on a bench, Julio's arms still around her. "What is it?" He was leaning towards her, a fact that made her feel safe.

"I love you." She looked at him, her eyes boring themselves into his. "I love you." He tried to say it back, but she wouldn't let him. "Do not say that before I have finished."

He obliged and stayed silent. She gave him a grateful look. "While I was in Florence, I missed you. I really did. It is important that you know that, because… what I am about to tell you might make you forget it." He nodded. "I slept with someone else."

"What?" His voice was coarse, his eyebrows furrowing.

"I slept with Niccolo."

Julio stared at her. For once feelings had left his eyes cold. Finally he nodded bitterly. "Why?"

Jane drew in a shaky breath. "I do not know."

"But you love me?"

"Yes!" Jane's voice was desperate. She reached to touch his cheek but removed her hand at once when he flinched. "Yes, I love you. I suppose…"

"You suppose?" His voice was too loud, to high.

"I suppose that is why." She tried to bind him to the bench with her eyes and words. Luckily Julio didn't even try to leave. "I love you, I know that now. But back then… I needed to know if it was love. I did not know how it felt merely to be attracted to someone, and I wanted to know for sure that what we have is love and not lust."

Once more he was dumbfounded. Once more Jane was unable to read his feelings from his eyes. When he finally spoke, his voice cracked. "You did not know?" He frowned. "You had to prove to yourself that it was love?"

Jane's eyes were tearing up. "That's not what I meant."

He ignored those words –who could blame him? she thought to herself. "Then perhaps it is not love, not for you." He clenched his eyes shut, regaining control of himself. "I loved you, so much."

"Loved?" Jane tried to pull him back when he stood up but she couldn't.

"I still do." He took the hand that she was still grasping him with, held it for a second then placed it on her lap. He stood up straight, still facing her.

Jane bit her lip. "You cannot forgive me, can you?"

He sighed. "Forgiving you would be easy. But returning to the illusion that you love me as much as I love you would be impossible."

Jane couldn't say anything to that. It was true that he loved her more than she loved him and lying to him once more would be stupid. It would only make things worse.

Jane watched him leave, knowing that she couldn't spill a tear yet. She would have to return to Lucrezia's side soon.

Jane stayed only for seconds longer in her solitude. Then, she stood up and went to the room where Lucrezia was still waiting. Sancha had left and taken with her Gioffre. Juan had left as well, for pressing matters, but other than that, all were still there. Giulia had not returned, though.

Lucrezia looked up when Jane entered, holding out her hand, reaching for her friend. "Come."

The baby was lying in her arms, sleeping. Jane kneeled by the bed, taking Lucrezia's free hand. It took her a moment to remember how to smile. She had to, of course. She'd already hurt too many people without hurting Lucrezia as well.

A look of recognition passed Lucrezia's face and Jane remembered that Lucrezia had done this often; faking a mask when she needed to feel something else than she did. It was no wonder that it sometimes became too much for the young woman; Jane herself felt overwhelmed.

Lucrezia stayed silent though, clenching her friend's hand in support and giving a slight smile. Jane kissed her hand in gratitude.

"Congratulations."

Lucrezia smiled, leaning in a bit. "Thank you."

Jane sensed that the thanks were not only for the congratulations; they were for the support that Jane had given to her when she needed it – the support that she now wished to return.

Jane smiled, clenching her hand. "No need to thank me."