STEPS RESOUNDING IN THE ALLEY

"Hi, Rosco," Daisy entered the Police Department, and she couldn't help but notice a copy of the "Los Angeles Time" on Enos' desk, the same copy she hid in her jeep after a careful read looking for anything concerning Enos' staying in L.A. She didn't find anything interesting, or, it was better to say, she didn't find any clue about Enos, but it was the first copy of the "Los Angeles Time" she read, and she hoped to find, at some point, the right clue to understand what Enos hid so jealously.

Enos wasn't there, and it disappointed Daisy, "Where's Enos?"

"At the gym," Rosco didn't even look at her, "that dipstick should learn to …," he shook his head, and he walked to the locker room to answer Daisy's question.

"Learn… what?" Daisy looked at Rosco walking to the locker room, and she followed him.

In the little room (just a wooden bench, few lockers, and another door heading to a small bathroom) Daisy noticed Enos' locker (his name on it), and she needed some time to understand why Rosco brought her there, "What's that dent?"

"I told Enos to go to the gym, if he wanted to punch something," Rosco walked past Daisy, coming back to his desk.

"Did Enos give a punch to… his locker?" something totally uncharacteristic for Enos, but something perfectly showing his pain, "But, Rosco, why? Was he… strange? Confused? Sort of… in trance?" Daisy remembered his empty look at the pond, his eyes lost into something away from there. Did it happen again?

"He went to the locker room to change his shirt and I heard a thud, and when I walked there I saw him opening and closing his right hand to ease the pain, … and that dent on his locker. I asked him what the heck he was doin' but he simply told me he probably needed ... some physical exercise."

"But… Rosco…"

"Daisy Duke, don't ask me anything else. Go and find out what's happening to that dipstick."

Daisy knew she couldn't obtain anything else from Rosco, since the Sheriff looked even more shocked than her, a shock so deep he undressed his mask, showing his real feelings for Enos.

Gym. It wasn't strange to see Enos at the gym: along the years he got used to spend, from time to time, his lunch break at the gym, and there was a time Daisy friendly teased him about his large shoulders and muscles thanks weightlifting. But weightlifting was something pretty different than boxing, especially using a locker as target.

It didn't matter. It didn't matter how much pain he felt, but he needed it.

It was pointless. Fighting back that desperation and that rage: it was pointless.

Why did it happen? WHY? HOW? What's the sense of being a cop if things like that could happen?

He could still smell the pungent smoke of tires' burning. He could still feel his sweat along his spine and in his eyes as he walked under the sun, sweating not only for the sun: nobody getting behind him, nobody backing him up.

Whatever had happened, nobody would have helped him.

Hate around him, in front of him, behind him. All around him.

He hit the punch-bag with all his strength, unaware of the pain in his right hand and forearm: he's learnt to endure the pain, after all, no mercy for him.

And, maybe, he deserved it: a lesson for the life.

He was just a stupid idealist.

"Breathe, even if there's no air. Breathe and breathe, again. The sun is warming you, so breathe, Enos! Breathe the nature's scent! You're alive"

He hit again and again the punch-bag, recalling himself to breathe.

The punch-bag swung under Enos' violent punches.

Daisy was speechless: it was the first time she saw Enos boxing, it was the first time she saw him doing something so rude and violent.

The white t-shirt adhered to his body, and, after every punch, sweat's small drops sparkled around him.

Daisy kept on looking at him as hypnotized: he was lost in his fight, and Daisy wondered what's going on in Enos' mind, for sure something dramatic and painful.

"They beat me with no mercy"

Was he giving vent to his rage because of his broken pride? Cop's defeat? Uncle Jesse was right, Enos was a stubborn and prideful man, and for sure his pride was broken after the beating. But was only a matter of pride? No, there was something more, and Daisy felt it.

She kept on looking at his violent and desperate fight against the punch-bag, and she woke up from her thoughts when he fell on his knees, exhausted, his hands on the floor, his head down, sweat dripping from his hair.

"Let him rest and keep an eye on him. Remember him he's not a robot and he has to rest."

Daisy remembered Doc Appleby's words.

"Enos! What are you doin'? You should have rest, and THIS is NOT resting, sugar." She washed away her previous shock and she approached him.

"Daisy? Why are you here?" he turned to her, still on his knees.

"Rosco told me you're here. I didn't know you love boxing, I thought you prefer weightlifting… or something more peaceful… fishing, for example, " she tried to remain calm, sparing him her worrisome.

"Uh. No, I don't love boxing, just… just physical exercise. I know Doc Appleby told me to have rest, but… I need to… restore my energy. I stayed too much into a Hospital's bed, for my taste, and it's why I'm so weak. I need physical exercise, not rest. I had enough rest, forced rest." He stood up and he reached his gym bag, taking a towel and wiping his face.

His hands trembled, a proof of how much exhausted he was.

Daisy didn't stand it any more, and she grabbed his hands, stopping their trembling, "Enos, please! Stop it. What's the matter with you? You shouldn't be here… you shouldn't push your body to this. I don't want to see you like that day; I don't want to call Doc Appleby 'cause you're feeling bad. It scares me."

"I'm sorry. I don't want to worry you, Daisy," his hands slipped away from her ones, "I promise I'll be more careful, and I'll have more rest. OK?"

She nodded, her eyes on him as he walked to the locker room.

Under the shower's jet Enos tried to stop trembling. Daisy and Doc Appleby's were right: he needed to have rest, his body wasn't ready for that physical exercise. He was so tired he felt like he had to vomit, and every muscle of his body ached.

Every part of his body ached, but not as that day, anyway.

If Daisy had known what happened to him…

But he didn't want to see her crying.

If she had known what happened to him, she'd have found the best way to help him: only knowing what's going on into his mind could give her the possibility to help him in the right way.

There was desperation in his punches, as he was trying to knock out himself, and it scared her.

Sitting on a bench inside the small gym she waited for him until he came out the locker room. Despite he had a shower and he wore his uniform, he looked still dead tired: his moves were slow and his features tight.

"Enos, come with me to the farm and…"

"I have to go back to work, sorry," he stopped her words and he walked to the door, "and after work I'll go to the Boarding House. I need to rest, you're right."

"You may have rest at the farm, too. I'm going to refresh and clear our guestroom; we rarely use it and it's full of odds and ends, but I can…"

"It seems you like very much tidy up, Daisy," he smiled, "but… no, thanks, you've already done too much for me. I appreciate it, but I don't want to take advantage of your hospitality."

"Take advantage of our hospitality? Enos, what are you talking 'bout?" she followed him outside the gym, "Uncle Jesse, Bo, Luke and I really care for you, and you should know it. We're friends, close friends. And…," she walked past him and she stopped in front of him, looking into his eyes, "… and I love you, Enos Strate, if you haven't realized it, yet."

She told it, she finally told him.

"You're my closest relation, I know. It's what you told Doc Appleby," he smiled shyly, blushing a bit, "and I love you, Daisy, but…," he lowered his head, "I don't know if I deserve you, I'm a bit confused, lately, and… tired, and… I don't know what. Actually I'm only able to worry you, and I don't want…"

"Enos! Stop saying things like that. Since you're so confused, and tired and… you don't know what, you should let me love you and take care of you. Besides, there's no way you can convince me to stop loving you or to stop taking care for you. It's like to ask a river not to flow, or ask a bird not to fly, and now, please," she came closer him, gently wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head on his chest, "please, let me hug you, sugar, I want it since you came back from L.A."

He didn't run away from her hug, but his arms remained still along his body; he just held his breath, and, when she tried to hug him more tightly, he repressed a moan and he stiffened.

"Sorry, I didn't want to hurt you, Enos," she let him go and had a step back.

"I'm OK, don't worry," he tried to calm her with a smile, "Gotta go, now. Thanks for… everything. See you"

She looked at him walking away, fighting back her desire to reach him: she knew Enos enough to understand when come closer him and when have a step back. She would have kept an eye on him, a silent and continuous presence by his side, ready to intervene.

Daisy loved him.

It was his dream, it's always been his dream, and now he was sure of her love.

So, WHY wasn't it enough? Why didn't he answer to her hug?

He tried to grab that awareness, to grab that possibility of happiness, but it didn't work.

Every time he tried to catch it, to enjoy the happiness to be back home again, between his friends and love, that happiness slipped from his hands, replaced by memories from L.A., memories he was trying to erase but he wasn't able to.

Lying on his bed, he focused on his physical pain, losing himself in that pain in order to forget what's going on in his mind: the time spent at the gym woke up every pain previously hidden in his body.

He felt as if a press was squashing him, but he didn't moan, he didn't move.

He just wanted to lose himself in that pain, as a sort of catharsis, as if physical pain could wash away his inner demons.

He just wanted to pass out, being unconscious for a long time, waking up with no memory of the past.

And he passed out, a pleasant feeling of losing weight and of being lifted.

In his unconsciousness, Daisy's voice called his name, and he felt again her arms around him.

LOS ANGELES – FLASHBACK

Friday afternoon, April 13.

A call about a white teenager reported with a gun; chaos of cops in frantic pursuit of suspects, the gunman between them.

Enos ran after one of the guys, just their steps resounding in the dead-end alley; he reached the fugitive and he grabbed him as he was trying to climb over the fence at the end of the alley; his grab was tight, despite the guy's attempt to wiggle out of him, despite his kicks and jabs, despite his insults.

"Don't worsen your position, please. Attacking a law enforcement officer is a serious charge," his voice calm and gentle, as usual, as he was talking to a little brother.

He dragged the guy along the alley, to the square where his colleagues were gathering the other suspects.

And he stopped, frozen.