OMGOMGOMGOMG! Season 3 of The Borgias airs on April 14th! Looks like they took a wholly different turn with the Lucrezia character than I did! All I can say is that it looks UH-MAZING! If you haven't watched the show yet, you have to at least give it a try – if you're like me, you'll get so caught up watching it, you'll be finished with the first two seasons by the time the third airs!

What is wrong at the end of the day
What is really wrong no one dares to say
You know you're wrong when there's only one right
But what is wrong when right is out of sight?
- Agnes Obel, Avenue

Chapter 19:
August 5th 1498

Lucrezia returned to the palazzo that she shared with Giulia and Jane five days after giving birth, accompanied by Cesare.

Vanozza had arrived at the palazzo an hour earlier to make sure that she was there when her daughter came home. She was the first one to rush to the door when a maid called that there were guests, kissing her daughter and relieving her of her newborn child so that she could embrace her friends.

"I am so glad that you are back," Giulia said as she hugged Lucrezia tightly.

Lucrezia pulled out of the embrace, laughing happily. "You will ruin my hair, Giulia." She didn't seem to mind much though. She leaned in and pressed a kiss to her friend's cheek. "I am glad to be back as well."

Giulia somehow reluctantly let go of Lucrezia, who then turned to Jane. As she grabbed the much, much younger woman's hands, Jane said, "It lightens heart to see you back well."

Lucrezia smiled, a real true smile. "I am glad to see you so illuminated."

The women smiled at each other for another few moments, but then Cesare cut in by lightly touching his sister's arm. "Apologies, ladies, but I must take my leave now. Pressing matters call for my attention."

"To where do you go?" Jane asked conversationally.

"Milan."

Jane tilted her head. "Is that not a Sforza state?" Cesare nodded. "Last time I heard, Giovanni was visiting his cousin there."

Once more, Cesare nodded. "The exact reason why I must now leave."

"You wish to exchange words with the man after all he has done?" Jane narrowed her eyes at him. Lucrezia answered the question for her brother.

"A long time ago, Cesare made a promise to me." With an almost amused voice, Lucrezia continued, "He is only going to take back what was taken from us."

Cesare nodded somehow mechanically. "I must leave now."

His gaze lingered for a moment on his sister as they said their goodbyes. As he left, Jane suddenly remembered something. The promise that Cesare had made, one made a long time ago in what they thought to be privacy. But Jane had overheard their conversation.

"She does not feel it, but he is burning a hole straight through her."

Jane flinched, finding that Vanozza had sneaked up upon her. Lucrezia and Giulia had gone into the garden while Vanozza had gone to stand beside Jane.

"Whatever do you mean?"

Vanozza laughed breathily. "You are a good liar, Giovanna, which is why you are still at the court of the Pope. But I know that you know. I know that you have noticed that the way they look to each other is not normal, not for two of the same blood." Vanozza looked at Jane, who stayed silent. "We tried to raise them properly, Rodrigo and I. With love and care."

"You managed to create a close family, one with much love and care." Jane smiled at her.

Vanozza smiled proudly. "We did. But power does many things; it's rotten to the core. Yet it is too great for anyone to turn down. It is human, it is greed, but it is also stupid." She sighed. "We are infected, and it has only just begun to show."

Without another word, Vanozza left Jane and went out into the garden. Jane faintly heard the voice of Lucrezia, asking if she could invite Sancha and Gioffre over. A smile spread across Jane's face at their happiness.

Yet, instead of going outside, she went up the stairs to her room. Sitting down in front of her desk, she opened a drawer and pulled out the latest letter that she had received from her brother in Florence. Business was going well, money was accumulating in his bank accounts. That wasn't the important thing, though; it was the notion of Julio's well-being. It was two lines long, thirty-two words. That was about how often she had read those two lines, over and over.

"You are not happy about my return?"

Jane turned at the sound of Lucrezia's voice. The young woman stood leaned against the doorframe. "I am," Jane assured her.

"What troubles you then?" Lucrezia began slowly pacing across the floor towards the desk.

"Nothing." Jane nodded to the letter. "My brother wrote to me, that is all."

Lucrezia sighed. "You are lying, but I will let you slip away with it until you are ready to tell the truth." She smiled brightly. "Until then, I demand that you celebrate my return with me."

Jane beamed at her as she stood up from her chair. "No need for demands. Your return is a celebration in itself." Her smile vanished when she remembered Cesare's leaving. "But I fear once celebrations have come to an end, we need to turn our eyes to less happy matters."

Even if Lucrezia's expression changed, this change did not include her smile vanishing. She pulled Jane by the hand down the stairs.

"Sister," Sancha greeted her. She was smiling politely. "How is little Giovanni?"

Jane still didn't understand how Lucrezia could tolerate her son being named after the man who ruined her life. Of course, she had no say in the matter, not really.

"Sleeping." Lucrezia and Sancha kissed each other on the cheek. "How is your little husband?"

Sancha smiled in an overbearing way. "He could not make it. He takes the work that your father gives him so seriously, I fear for his health."

Lucrezia laughed. "You have met Giovanna, have you not?"

Sancha looked at Jane, recognizing her. "Upon numerous occasions. How are you?"

Jane stepped down the last few steps. "Very well, thank you."

Lucrezia seemed to sense the slight awkwardness between the two women. She cut in, beaming as brightly as she could. "Should we not go to the yard?"

She was just about to follow them to the garden when a young maid stopped her. "Milady, your brother is here."

For some reason, the first thought that came to Jane's mind was, Is he already back? But the man who walked in wasn't Cesare; it was Juan.

"Sis." He kissed her cheek.

"Juan. Why are you here?" It wasn't exactly an impolite question, but it wasn't very well disguised that she wasn't pleased with his presence, either.

"Merely to visit my sister and to congratulate her on her quick recovery." Juan smiled at both Jane and Lucrezia. He seemed sober, yet his eyes were far away.

Lucrezia beamed, backing away towards the doors. "Your congratulations are happily received, yet I have other guests. You must excuse me."

With that, Lucrezia left for the garden. Juan stood still for a few seconds before gesturing after his sister. "We should follow."

"Wait for a moment." Jane moved closer, looking over her shoulder to the garden where Lucrezia was glancing inside to see when they were coming. "You have not yet partaken in drink?"

He smirked. "Believe what you wish, I am not always drunk."

With that, he left. Jane stood for a moment, just enjoying the silence, before going outside. The guests didn't leave until evening, Juan a little earlier than Sancha. Once all was once more quiet, Jane went upstairs to the room where she found Lucrezia reading.

She knocked the door lightly, resulting in Lucrezia's head to jump up, her eyes quickly lifting from the book. "May I enter?"

Lucrezia nodded simply, closing the book while Jane crossed the floor. Jane sat in front of her, looking at the black binding which revealed nothing about the book whatsoever. "What are you reading?"

"The Decameron." She looked down at the book in her lap. "It is written by a poet I quite favor, Giovanni Boccaccio. You mustn't tell, but he is actually the man I name my son after." She smiled secretively, a smile that infected Jane even if something about the way Lucrezia clutched the book awakened sadness. "I used to read it with Perotto." Lucrezia looked up, her eyes illuminated by some glow, like a candle that was close to burning out. "He had never learned to read, so I had to teach him. I think that was why he did not know, loving can never turn out the way we dream."

Her voice got a hollow edge towards the end of the sentence as her gaze fell once more. Jane reached out to put her hand above Lucrezia's. "Cesare rides to Milan," Jane commented, trying to change the subject as much for Lucrezia's sake as her own.

"He does."

"To see Giovanni?" Jane looked at Lucrezia but the girl was unwilling to meet the gaze.

"He made a promise." Her voice was that of a child again, a bit naïve, hopeful.

Jane hesitated for a moment. "I know." Her voice was merely a breath but her words seemed to shake Lucrezia. Jane nodded to confirm her unspoken question. "I heard him many years ago. He promised to…"

"He promised to cut his heart out with a dinner knife," Jane cut in, her voice full of passion and anger. "And serve it to me." Those were his exact words; the image of him and Lucrezia, still young and happy in that hallway, discussing their future stood clear before Jane's eyes. "He will do it. You will let him." Her voice was determined and her gaze unfaltering, inquiring for Jane to accept.

Jane swallowed deeply. There was too much hate in those eyes of hers. "Does he deserve it?" Jane had no doubt he did, for spoiling the innocence that Lucrezia had once held.

Lucrezia nodded, furrowing in pain from memories. "He deserves to have every limb of his body cut off so that he must crawl like a worm through the pits of the Purgatory."

Jane removed her hand from Lucrezia's slowly. "Then let it be so."

When she attempted to stand up, Lucrezia's hand on her arm slowed her. "Stay for a moment longer." Jane sat down once more, looking at Lucrezia. "I must tell you something, which has feasted on my consciousness for too long."

"What is it?"

Lucrezia drew in a ragged breath, smoothing out the skirts of her dress. "Is it possible, do you think, to love someone whom you should not?"

Jane nodded, without hesitance. "Of course."

"Even if that person did something unforgiveable, something that kills you every day?" There were tears in her eyes.

"It sounds like you know the answer to that by heart." This time, Lucrezia was the one to take Jane's hand.

"Why does love even exist? Is it meant to hurt in this way?" Jane shook her head, unable to answer. She knew the sting herself. "It was Cesare, Giovanna; it was him who killed Perotto."

Tears were now streaming down Lucrezia's cheeks. Jane didn't know what to say, or what to think for that matter. She wasn't even sure she'd heard correctly. "He?" Lucrezia nodded, falling forwards into Jane's arms. "Why?"

Lucrezia didn't answer, just shook her head and Jane knew that all she could do was to hold her. They sat like that, in silence, until a maid entered.

"Giovanna? Your brother has arrived."

Jane stood up, surprised, and excused herself. Just as the maid had promised, at the bottom of the stairs, Alec stood waiting. Jane's face broke into a wide grin and she hurried down the stairs to put her arms around her brother.

"Alec," she muttered into his hair as he embraced her. She'd missed him. Terribly. She pulled back slightly, still beaming. "What are you doing here?"

Alec was smiling brightly too as his hands went to stroke through his sister's well braided hair. "Visiting you, of course."

Jane shook her head. "I meant it."

Alec laughed, finally letting go of her fully. "To see the Pope, actually." That was the second big surprise of the day. "He remembered me from his visit in Florence and knew that I was your brother. He must hold you in high regard, since he contacted me once his own doctor died of old age, asking me to take his position."

Jane's eyes widened in surprise. "Really?"

Alec nodded, a small smile grazing his lips in amusement of her reaction. "Really. And if it is alright with you, I intend to accept his offer."

"Of course it is alright with me," Jane sputtered. "It only means that you will be closer to me. Although it is a mystery to me, since only a few years ago you seemed so reluctant to leave Florence. What changed?"

"Florence changed. And Rome." Jane had led Alec out into the garden where they now sat down. "The chaos that Savonarola has caused has completely destroyed the flourishing of the city. Rome, on the other hand, seems to go the exact opposite direction."

Jane nodded. "The Pope himself is very intent on reliving some of the ancients' ways of living."

"I saw that there were workers on the aqueducts?"

"Yes, a very recent project." Jane felt herself relax in the presence of Alec. They'd often had conversation like these, about nothing in particular. "But privately, the Pope seeks to also restore the art."

Alec nodded absentmindedly. "I hope his offer still stands. I have missed talking to you." Jane's smile was happy, a true happy, one that usually didn't survive long inside the Vatican. "But I must leave now. The Pope wished to see me today."

"Oh. Okay." Jane stood up, hugging him once more before following him to the hall.

Just before exiting, Alec turned. "By the way, Julio wished to talk to you. He just had some errands to run, he will be around soon enough."

Even if her mind did not know how to respond, her body was quick to find a way to do so; her heart fluttered, her stomach warmed and her breathing quickened and she was sure that, had she been a human, her cheeks would've reddened. Alec smiled, obviously noticing changes but not knowing what to think of them. "You seemed to have become such close friends. I was saddened when you grew apart."

A small smile spread across Jane's lips. "The Vatican has changed many people, me among them. I just hope that you will manage to stay immune to its affection."

Alec shook his head lovingly. "You are exactly the same as when you came here. Anyone who is unable to see that does not deserve to see it." He leaned over to place a kiss to Jane's forehead. "You are perfect."

Jane's eyes fluttered close for a second. "Go. You will be late for your meeting."

As she watched her brother disappear into the crowds of Rome, she couldn't blame Lucrezia for forgiving Cesare. Jane had watched Alec kill many, men and women, even children, yet her love for him was still the same as when they were children.